Trust
by mayzee
Summary: After a year apart Jane and Lisbon meet again. Can they rebuild their relationship and work together to fight a common enemy? Can they ever trust each other again? Love each other again? CBI based that breaches into AU. Rated T/M for some sexy scenes. Reviews, as ever, are much appreciated. Finally complete!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So, I feel I must have a screw loose starting yet another multichapter with two already up and running. But this one is haunting my dreams so wanted to get started on it before I lose my train of thought. The past scenes are set midway through season 4 but is certainly AU from there. Can't promise too regular updates for now as I really want to get at least one of my other stories finished before I put too much effort into this one but that may change if I have writer's block with them as much of this one is already mapped out in my brain.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Mentalist, the wonderful Bruno Heller does.**

* * *

Trust

Chapter 1 - New case, old face

Lisbon glanced from the form in front of her to the CBI bullpen outside her office. A small smile graced her lips as three familiar figures worked at their desks. The smile dropped when she took in the empty brown leather couch behind them. Over a year since he'd left the CBI. Or, more appropriately, over a year since he left _her_. Still she didn't have the heart to remove the couch. Or his turquoise teacup and saucer that she had stowed at the back of the cupboard in the break room for fear of someone using it and breaking it. She chuckled, holding back her tears; he would be more upset about losing that damn cup than he would her. He'd made his feelings clear about how he viewed her in his parting shot. She would never forget his cold stare, the sudden hatred in his eyes that instantly replaced the love she was just getting accustomed to seeing, the trust he had in her shattered that night as they stood in the moonlight as the rain pelted down on them. She blinked a few times, exhaling a loud breath as her desk phone rang.

"Lisbon," she said brusquely, pushing her shoulders back and moving a blank piece of paper in front of her to take notes.

"Hey, Lisbon. It's Detective Morris, SFPD."

"Hey Tom, how's it going? I'm guessing this isn't a social call." She had worked with Morris a long time ago when she was a rookie and he, along with Bosco, had helped her into being a better cop.

"My wife wouldn't like it if it was, Teresa," he laughed.

She smiled in spite of her melancholy mood. "So, what's up?" she said brightly, rubbing a stray tear from her cheek.

"Case here I think CBI should investigate. Janet Walker found murdered couple of hours ago. She was the prime suspect in a murder we were investigating but she's turned up dead."

"Okay, why you looking for our involvement?"

"Well, the guy who found her body used to work for you by all accounts. Not that he told us that. He's a pain in the ass to be honest. Thought you might want to be involved. If he worked with you maybe you could get him to open up a little more. Like I said, he's treating anyone who talks to him like he's something he's trodden in. I don't know how the hell you put up with him with that temper of yours."

She closed her eyes, her heart thumping in her chest. Morris was about the most patient and even tempered man you could ever meet. Not many people could piss him off. But there was undoubtedly a certain blond haired former consultant who could make the Pope want to commit murder if he put his mind to it.

"Patrick Jane, I'm guessing," she replied evenly, belying the frantic beat of her heart.

"You got it in one. So, you want to help us with this one? Even if all you can get are some straight answers from Jane and then be on your way I'd appreciate it."

Lisbon suppressed a nervous laugh. Jane and straight answers were somewhat of an oxymoron. She sighed, "Sure, Tom, my team and I'll be there in the morning."

"What about Jane in the meantime? Want me to cut him loose, get his address so you can look him up when you arrive?"

Lisbon grinned, taking some delight in her next words. "Um...no. If he's as uncooperative as you say better lock him up in holding for the night. And I wouldn't be all that surprised if he was a flight risk so better safe than sorry."

* * *

She walked out of her office and straight to Wainwright's. After taking a seat opposite him and explaining what she had been told he said, "So, he didn't just disappear into thin air?"

"Guess not," she shrugged. "We'll only be gone for the morning hopefully. Just get him to come clean with whatever he knows and let SFPD take over again. I'd like to help Morris out; he's a good cop and an old friend."

Lisbon watched as her boss nodded, running a finger over his lips, barely listening to her last words. "You know, I've never asked you why he left-"

"And I've appreciated that," she bit back with quickly.

"You know we could do with his help around here again. Closure rates being what they are-"

"My team still have the highest closure rates across divisions even without Jane," she said sharply.

Wainwright nodded, conceding her point. "Even so, he was a hell of an asset."

He sighed, "Look, I know whatever happened was personal between you. But it's been over a year. All I'm saying is to go down there with an open mind. For all you know he wants back in too, he's just too pigheaded to ask."

Lisbon smiled at the notion but knew it wasn't the case.

Wainwright continued. "Feel him out, Teresa, that's all I'm asking. He doesn't even have to be assigned to your team if you can't work with him."

She rolled her eyes. "Boss, before we put out the welcome mat, let's make sure he's not involved in Janet Walker's death."

He widened his eyes. "You don't think-"

"Like you said, it's been over a year and we haven't a clue what he's been doing since he left. He found the body and is obviously being evasive with what he knows. Puts a red flag on him. If it were anyone else you'd agree."

He nodded, tutting. "Jeez, you two really did leave things on bad terms, didn't you?"

* * *

As she came back into the bullpen she took a deep breath. "We have a case in San Francisco in the morning. Cho, you'll ride with me. Rigsby and Van Pelt you take another vehicle. We leave at seven thirty."

"Sure, boss, what's the case?" Van Pelt asked.

"Murder of a murder suspect."

Cho leaned back in his chair, frowning, "What else?"

She nodded, he was almost as good as reading people as Jane. "Apparently Jane found the body."

Rigsby choked on a sandwich. "Jane? He's still in California?"

"It would appear so," Lisbon said nonchalantly.

"So...so you two are going to talk?" Van Pelt asked, hope in her tone.

Lisbon sighed and rolled her eyes. "Well, since he found the body I guess we'll have to."

Van Pelt prodded. "But...but shouldn't we get down there tonight? Sooner the better, right?"

Lisbon crossed her arms over her chest. She knew the team missed Jane since his sudden departure and wished that they could go back to the way it had been once upon a time. She couldn't fault them for that. Her personal feelings aside, the entire team felt incomplete since he'd left, some of the camaraderie and a lot of the laughter missing. Guilt soared in her that she had been the one that had made him leave his friends. Not that she regretted her actions, well, not all of them but wished she had handled some things differently.

She spoke softly. "Grace, I know you've missed him." She looked to Rigsby and Cho. "I know you all have. You know I have too. But...you also know he'll never forgive me and come back to work here. I'm sorry that that's the case but-"

"But you only did what you thought was right at the time," Van Pelt interjected. "You saved his life."

Lisbon nodded, averting her eyes. "Yeah," she sighed. "I know. And he'll never forgive me for it."

* * *

Lisbon barely slept; her dreams and thoughts filled with events a year and a half ago. A case that changed everything between them.

"_Lisbon, come and see this!"_

_Lisbon rolled her eyes but smiled. When he was excited he sounded like a hyperactive child. "What, Jane?" she said tersely, coming up to him to find him bending over the corpse._

"_Purple discolouration of the pupils. Never seen anything like it."_

_She bent down as he pulled the eyelids open further. "Jane, don't touch the corpse! Not without gloves! How many times!"_

"_Meh, not like he's going to mind and doc's already finished giving him the once over," he replied, his eyes twinkling at her. "You ever seen something like this?"_

_She shook her head. "Nope. Strange all right. Hopefully something will show up in the tox report."_

Lisbon jolted from the bed, placing a clammy hand on her forehead. She remembered that day like it was yesterday. Less than half an hour later Jane had collapsed as he went back to his car. In less than an hour he was admitted to hospital, her hand clutching his in the ambulance and her other around her cross, praying for him. Two hours later he was diagnosed with an unknown toxin that was responsible for his blackout. Four hours later he was given two days to live as the poison continued to flood his system. Doctors informing her that multiple transfusions would keep him alive and conscious some of the time before his organs began to give out.

When they were told the diagnosis Van Pelt had burst out crying, Rigsby putting his arms around her and tearing up himself. Cho and she had stood beside each other motionless before she spoke to the doctor who had just given them the news.

"_That's not acceptable. You need to find a cure."_

* * *

**A/N: Okay, so just to be clear I am not in the medical profession and have no knowledge of deadly toxins. This one is decidedly of my own making so please accept artistic licence on that score. Some of you may have figured out Lisbon's perceived crime (in Jane's eyes) already, smart cookies that you are. But for those that haven't you won't have too long a wait, it'll be explained in the next chapter as they come face to face again. **

**So, hope you enjoyed the opener, would love your thoughts as usual.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thanks for all the lovely reviews for the first chapter, so pleased so many of you liked the start and hope you continue to read, follow, favourite and review!**

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Chapter 2 - Advice

As evidence of her mostly sleepless night Lisbon let Cho take the wheel on their drive to San Francisco. The tightness in her stomach intensified as they drove over the Golden Gate Bridge.

After much of the way spent in silence Cho finally broke it. "So, what are you going to say to him?"

She thought for a moment. In fact she had thought of little less since she found out their paths were about to cross again. "I have honestly no idea. Thought I'd see the lay of the land first."

"You think he's over what happened?"

She shrugged, looking out the side window. "I don't know. What do you think?"

Cho sighed. "You know him better than me. But forgiveness isn't really his thing. In his mind you betrayed him. We all did. He would have contacted you or one of us by now if he felt differently than he did back then."

She turned her head towards him. "You still think I did the wrong thing too, don't you?"

"I told you at the time. You should have told him straightaway how he was cured. You shouldn't have let things get..." He sighed again and controlled his tone. "You should have told him straightaway."

She faced front again silently. She could hardly refute his words. She closed her eyes as memories of the time in the hospital resurfaced.

* * *

"_Agent Lisbon, Mr Jane's regained consciousness. He's asking for you," the doctor smiled sympathetically as she sat in his office. "The first transfusion has helped slow things down. Gives us a better timeline on...events taking place."_

"_He has more than two days?"_

"_I would guess...four at the most if he continues to respond to the blood the way he has but...these things are hard to predict. I'd take the time to see him now when he's awake instead of waiting much longer."_

"_But why can't you just continue with the transfusions until you find out what this is and how to cure it?"_

_He shook his head solemnly. "Because even with the transfusions it will affect his organs eventually. It's just too virulent. We have no cure in sight. Without identifying the toxin we can't hope to find one. We've done a number of tests as you know but so far we don't know what it is we're dealing with. And when it does begin to affect his major organs then...well then the transfusions are, frankly, a waste of time."_

_Anger boiled up in her. "As long as he's breathing you'll continue to pump new blood into him if it helps him live longer, understand!"_

_Softly, "That's not...that's not what Mr Jane wants."_

"_What?!"_

"_I've spoken to him Agent Lisbon. Just now. Explained his options and the prognosis. He's aware of the situation he's in and he's accepted it. He doesn't want to last for days hooked up to a machine. For his body to shut down and be left with no quality of life. All he wants before much longer is...to have the time to say goodbye to the people who matter to him." _

_He smiled softly at her as if she were a young child and she wanted to punch him instantly. "Teresa, he wants-"_

"_I don't give a damn what he wants! He's not getting it!" Tears pricked at her eyes and she rubbed them away furiously. "Selfish son of a bitch. Tell him from me I won't be saying goodbye to him, not until there's no chance of saving him!"_

_She flung open the door of the doctor's office and stormed down the corridor. Van Pelt caught her by the arm at the exit. "Boss! What did the doctor say?"_

_Her cheeks burning, she snapped, "He has four days. Now, you lot can stay here and watch him just give up and give in to self pity but I'm going to find a way to help him. The doctors here obviously don't give a damn so I'll find one who does!" _

* * *

Rigsby and Van Pelt drove behind Lisbon and Cho in their own vehicle. "Well, this is going to be a little strange," Rigsby said, shaking his head. "How do you think he is?"

She shook her head. "God knows with him. But however he is he's not about to show how he actually feels, is he? Unless he's turned into an entirely different person this past year."

"You think Lisbon will be able to get through to him? Make him let go of what went down?"

She tilted her head. "Honestly? I don't know. They're both as stubborn as each other."

Rigsby chuckled. "Still, it'll be good to see him. Let him see he got through to us, at least." He took his hand off the steering wheel and squeezed his fiancée's hand quickly, stealing a smile. "Seeing us so happy might make him realise that he still loves her too."

Van Pelt blushed, "Hush, you're so corny sometimes," she grinned.

* * *

_After talking to the doctor herself Van Pelt made her way to Jane's room. He turned his head from the window to the door when he heard it opening. His face dropped when he saw the redheaded agent enter his room but then placed a smile back on it. "Hey, Grace," he smiled. _

_She took in his pallor, his tanned complexion drained by the blood transfusions. He lay in a hospital gown with a drip in his arm. "Oh, Jane," she whispered, unable to stop the tears from flowing._

"_Now, if all you're going to do is blubber then I'll have to throw you out. Although managing to get out of this bed would be a miracle in itself," he grinned._

_She smiled and wiped her tears. "I'm sorry. It's just you look so...-"_

"_Pathetic? Washed out? I know, I don't think this gown does anything for my sense of style."_

"_Stop making jokes," she ordered. _

_He shrugged. "What else do you suggest I do? Otherwise I might just die of boredom before this poison has a chance to work its way through my system."_

"_Jane-"_

"_Where is she?" he interrupted softly._

_She saw the sudden seriousness in his expression now, the mask dropped, the pleading in his eyes to talk to the one person he needed the most._

"_She...she just needs a little time," Van Pelt replied quietly. "I'm sure she'll be here soon."_

_He closed his eyes briefly and shook his head, looking at the ceiling. Grumbling, "Stupid stubborn woman. Let me guess, she's gone on some fruitless quest to find me a cure." He sighed wearily. _

"_She'll be back. Just...just hang on until then."_

_He nodded. "Okay then, so I'll guess I'll start with you."_

"_Start what?"_

"_I want to talk to you, Rigsby, Cho and...Lisbon. Give you some parting words of wisdom. I'm a dying man so don't waste time by telling me not to or that I'm going to pull through. Not sure how long I'm going to be conscious for at a time so I'll make it brief."_

_Van Pelt noticed how much of an effort it had been to say the last sentence; he was obviously weakening already after the transfusion. "Okay," she said softly. "Gimme my ten cents worth," she smiled. She figured she had enough time to cry afterwards. _

"_I'd want more for it than that I'm hardly in a position to barter. You love Rigsby-"_

"_Jane-"_

"_Please Van Pelt. No interruptions or I'll never get through this." He winked at her. "Remember, dying man's prerogative to ramble on."_

_She nodded silently, pursing her lips._

"_Okay, you and Rigsby are obviously in love with each other. Clear as the noses on your faces. Now, I know that he and Sarah just recently broke up but...he only started going out with her to try to get over you. You know that. Obviously it didn't take. And I know what Craig did to you has hardened you. To be honest I think, in some ways, he did you a favour." He shot her a smile. "Lets a little more of the bitch out." His smile dropped he continued, "But don't waste any more time, Grace." His voice was a whisper and he looked at the ceiling. "Believe me it's not good coming to the end having to die with regrets. Of letting your fear of what might happen stop you from actually living the life you want." _

_As he paused she watched him avidly, obvious he was no longer just talking about her and Wayne. _

_He exhaled loudly and pulled himself together, looking at her again, his voice back in control and louder. "I know it's against policy but Wainwright's easier to manipulate than Hightower was. He wants results, nothing more. He's more flexible with the rules to get them. So, just show him that. Show him that you're unstoppable together so you can't be separated. Lisbon'll go to bat for you. Cho too if he's pushed. Put enough pressure on him and he'll cave. I'm sure of it. You all need to realise the power you have as a team, even when I'm not part of it." Jane paused and smiled again. "And if that doesn't work tell him it was my dying wish. Once that rumour makes its way around the CBI he'll feel obligated to give in. Just make sure he doesn't catch you making out in any interrogation rooms or Lisbon's office. That, my dear, would be pushing things a little too far."_

_Van Pelt, in tears again, blushed and laughed. "You're right. I do love him. Okay, if Wayne goes for it then so will I."_

_Jane nodded, chuckling. "Somehow I don't foresee that being a problem."_

* * *

As they arrived at the SFPD Headquarters they parked their vehicles and showed their IDs. Morris soon arrived to escort them to the office. Lisbon looked around at the once familiar environment, her head automatically going to where she used to sit. She imagined Bosco sitting in his office eating a meatball sub and throwing half of it down his shirt, panicking that his wife would put him on a diet once again. "Still feels like he's here, doesn't it" Morris said to her, as he pulled up the chair in his office and gestured for her to sit in the one opposite. Her team stood behind her.

"Yeah, always reminds me of him when I visit here for cases. I miss him still."

"Me too," her old friend nodded.

Brightly, "So, why don't you fill us in on the case that Jane's got himself mixed up in?"

Morris explained that Janet Walker was part owner of an art gallery in San Francisco. Her partner Edward Costas was found murdered two weeks prior. She had an alibi for the night in question but Morris believed she was responsible for his murder and had either fabricated her alibi or paid someone to carry it out for her. He had been planning on selling the gallery out from under her as the majority stakeholder but rumours were that she wanted to keep it and witnesses had confirmed that they had arguments over it in public. She was due to inherit the gallery as part of his estate.

"So, where does Jane figure into this?" Cho asked.

Morris shrugged. "You tell me. She was found at her home stabbed. Jane called 911 and told them he'd found her dead when he arrived there. All he's said is that he knew her socially and went to visit her on the night in question."

Lisbon surveyed the woman's DMV picture from the file in front of her. Long blonde hair and very pretty. Expensive silk blouse. Obviously sophisticated and a woman of taste from her lifestyle. But something about her ice blue eyes made her look dangerous, that she hid her real self behind the persona she portrayed. She looked more like Sophie Miller but something in those eyes reminded Lisbon more of Erica Flynn. A wave of jealousy ripped through her before she had a chance to quell it.

"You think she was still alive when he got there?" Lisbon asked, looking up from the photo. "Or that he killed her himself?"

"No weapon was found on him and no DNA. But, from what I've heard now I've looked into him a little more I'd say he's more than capable of hiding evidence and making sure he's free of DNA. Smart son of a bitch, right? So you tell me, Teresa. Did he do it? Or is he just not telling us everything? You know him better than I do."

She sighed and puffed out a breath. "Once upon a time I'd say you were right, Tom. Now...well now I guess we'll find out. But I don't believe he killed her. But I can almost guarantee he's hiding plenty. So, where are you holding him so we can get started?"

* * *

**A/N: I know I said I'd explain what happened to Jane and have them meet face to face in this chapter but I kind of got sidelined so apologies. Next chapter, I promise!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Beware, angry Jane alert up ahead!**

* * *

Chapter 3 – Reunion

Morris directed Lisbon and her team to the observation room. Through the two way mirror she caught her first glance of a man she hadn't seen in over a year and she released a silent breath as her heart hammered in her chest. He looked exactly the same apart from a few more lines etched on his face. He sat with his hands handcuffed on the table and his head down, his three piece suit and white shirt crumpled after a night in holding. She could just make out heavy stubble on his chin. He suddenly lifted his head and stared straight ahead. She stepped back automatically as his eyes seemed to penetrate the mirror in front of him. It was as if he had somehow sensed her presence. His expression was made of stone.

"Does he know we were coming here today?" she asked Morris, but not taking her eyes off the man in front of her that seemed to be staring into her soul.

"No, did just like you asked last night, told him he'd be questioned further this morning. He wasn't too happy about spending a night in the cells."

"I'll bet," Rigsby sniggered.

"He looks good," Van Pelt said. "You know, like himself."

"Who else is he supposed to look like?" Cho interjected.

"Okay," Lisbon sighed, turning to address her team. "Enough gawking. Cho, Rigsby, you go question him about Janet Walker. See if a night in the cells has loosened his tongue." She knew it was a long shot but she had to give it a go.

"You're not going to talk to him, boss?" Van Pelt frowned.

Lisbon shook her head. "Not yet. I want to assess his mood first. Plus he's more likely to tell you, Cho or Rigsby the truth than he is me."

* * *

As the door opened Jane blinked twice in rapid succession when Cho and Rigsby entered the room. After giving them a quick onceover he immediately settled his eyes back on the mirror in front of him and stared coldly at it. After a small shake of the head he turned his attention to his former co-workers who took a seat in front of him.

"Well, guys, long time no see, huh?" he said evenly.

"Hey Jane," Rigsby replied as he shifted nervously in his chair and kept his eyes on a file in front of him.

"What's your relationship with Janet Walker?" Cho asked.

"What, not even a 'hello' first, Cho?" Jane smirked.

"Hello. What's your relationship with Janet Walker?" he tried again.

Jane leant back in his chair and let out a long sigh. "Same script, eh? I was hoping for something a little better than the local cops from the great CBI."

"Jane," Rigsby attempted, "come on man, you know how this goes. If you've nothing to hide than just tell us the truth. Easier for everyone in the long run."

Jane shrugged. "And why would I want to make things easier for the CBI?" He brought his eyes back to the mirror in front of him and stared icily at it. "Lisbon too chicken to face me herself?" he smirked, looking back at them.

"Answer the question," Cho ordered.

"Ah, what question was that again?" Jane smiled, feigning confusion, "You know me guys, and my brain doesn't work without a cup of tea first thing."

"Answer the question first. Your relationship with Janet Walker?" Cho continued.

Jane looked to the side, sucking in a breath before turning his head towards them again. His voice dispassionate he replied, "Yes, we had a relationship. And now that I've answered your question I'd like a cup of tea as agreed."

Cho shook his head. "What kind of relationship? Were you friends? Lovers?"

"Tea," Jane repeated.

* * *

Lisbon, Van Pelt and Morris watched as he continued to run circles round Cho and Rigsby. "Oh, for god's sake," Lisbon sighed after a few minutes watching her agents becoming increasingly frustrated and left the room.

A few minutes later she rested her hand on the door handle of the interrogation room and took a deep breath before opening it. Immediately his sea green eyes met her emeralds in a cold stare. Any hope she had that time had lessened his anger towards her were immediately dashed. He quickly trailed his eyes over her entire body before resting them back on her face. She felt naked and vulnerable and knew he was reading every iota of her body language. She remained in the doorway for a few seconds before pulling some semblance of herself back together and addressed her team.

"Take a break, guys," she ordered. A second later she added, "And clear the observation room."

Cho and Rigsby exchanged glances of relief of not having to witness this showdown and concern with what they may have to deal with afterwards. Rigsby patted Lisbon on the shoulder and gave her a look that said, 'Good luck'.

After they left she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and placed a cup of lukewarm tea that looked like dishwater in front of Jane before sitting down. "Your tea," she smirked, opening the file in front of her.

Her eyes fixed on the documentation in front of her she felt her heart thump against her chest, the silence of the room escalating her nervousness. She eventually lifted her eyes to meet his once again. Now instead of betrayal and anger in his expression she saw nothingness in it instead. Pain ripped through her that he could look at her with such emptiness, as if she had never meant anything to him. He really could be a cold bastard when he wanted to be.

After clearing her throat she glanced at the file in front of her. "Janet Walker," she began, her tone businesslike but with a slight tremor to it that she couldn't control, "are you going to tell us anything about her or are we just wasting our time? If so, we have plenty of work to do back in Sacramento, Jane."

She fixed her eyes on his and concentrated on telling herself that she was merely questioning a somewhat recalcitrant witness/suspect to a crime and not Patrick Jane, the man who stole her heart.

A hint of a smile played on his lips but there was no warmth to it. "I'm sure you do, Agent Lisbon. Closure rates have no doubt suffered this past year. How is Wainwright anyway?"

_Agent Lisbon._ Not Lisbon. Certainly not Teresa. The man had lost none of his ability to know exactly how to rattle someone. Her pain was suddenly replaced by anger that he was playing this game with her after everything they had been through, after everything they'd shared. "_Mr_ Jane, I'm only going to ask this once more. Tell me about your relationship with Janet Walker."

"Why don't you just ask the question you really want answered, Agent?" he smiled and leaned forward in his chair, studying her. "Ask me if Janet Walker and I were lovers."

She licked her lips nervously. "Were you?" she whispered.

He sucked in a breath and shrugged slightly. "When the occasion arose," he smirked.

She fastened her eyes back to the file in front of her, turning a page to give her time to recover from his revelation. "What happened that night? Was she still alive when you got there?" she asked, her eyes downcast.

"No."

She looked back up at him and narrowed her eyes. "You're lying."

He chuckled lightly. "Are you trying to read me, Lisbon? Really?"

She smiled thinly. She had caught him off guard and he'd dropped the 'Agent' crap. It was a small victory but she would take what she could get for now.

His stare once again cold he added, "And you're hardly one to talk about lying, are you, Teresa?"

The use of her first name sounded like poison coming off his tongue.

"You really want to do this now?" she said, closing the file and leaning back in her chair. "Fine. Let's do it, Jane. It's only taken a year for you to talk to me about it after all."

"I don't need to talk to you about it. I found out everything I needed to know the night I left. But...if you want to explain...somehow ease your conscience then, by all means, go right ahead."

She shook her head and seethed, her patience run out. "You know what, screw you, Jane. I've felt guilty for over a year for lying to you. I admit that was a mistake. But, even now, even though you hate me I don't regret what I did. I don't regret saving your life."

He clenched his hands together. "I never asked you to save me-"

"Yeah, well it goes both ways."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"That day in the shipping container. You told me you'd save me whether I liked it or not. Goes both ways."

He shook his head and breathed deeply to control his temper before staring back at her. "The difference is you weren't the only one who saved me, were you? You colluded with him, Lisbon. _Him_. And then you lied to me about it. For months."

He put his hand up to stop her interrupting.

"I was so infatuated I never saw it. Never wanted to see it I guess looking back now. And there was I who thought you were once a terrible liar. Guess the joke was on me all along."

"Jane, I tried to tell you, many times-"

He laughed derisively. "Did you? You really still believe that? You knew what telling me would do. And you knew the longer you took the more I'd resent you for keeping it from me. At least admit the truth to yourself now, Lisbon. You were too busy reaping the benefits of our sexual relationship to want to spoil it with some good old fashioned honesty. In a way I can't blame you. Sex with you was certainly passionate."

Anger burned through her. "You can't really believe the only reason I didn't tell you was because we had a great sex life!"

Calm again he replied, "It doesn't matter why you didn't tell me. The fact is you didn't. Not until you had no other choice and even then you were trying to think of a way out of it."

He averted his eyes and pursed his lips before looking back at her.

"The fact is I'm alive because of Red John. I have to live everyday with the knowledge I'm breathing because of the man who murdered my family. And you're responsible for _that_, my dear Teresa."

* * *

**A/N: Okay, so I kept my promise (kind of...hopefully) of telling you why Jane is mad at Lisbon. But of course there are a lot of questions still to be answered on what part RJ exactly played in curing Jane and how Lisbon was involved. And just for those who are uncomfortable with a Jane who seems to despise Lisbon there will be lots of nice moments ahead for our couple too as I delve into the past some more and reveal how they became lovers. And, of course, how they try to reconcile their differences in the present. So, I hope you keep reading although it will be painful at times! Lisbon, though, will not take Jane's anger lying down though just for those who think she's going to spend the entire story apologising and trying to appease him.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thank you all for your lovely reviews to the first few chapters. This is my first flashback fic so I'm a little nervous at how it may be received so your support means the world to me. And for those following my other two stories Destinies and Missing I am still working on them and hope to have an update to both of them this week. It's just that this story is plaguing my brain at the moment.**

* * *

Chapter 4 – Work &amp; Death

Lisbon sighed loudly. It had been a long time since she battled with Patrick Jane. And when she used to it had been about his behaviour on cases, not their personal life. She began to gather her paperwork silently, there was no use flogging a dead horse. She'd tell Morris that she failed and be back in Sacramento by evening. Get back to her life again such as it was, a stack of paperwork her date for the evening. As she stood up she heard him speak again.

"Giving up already on Janet's murder? You never used to accept defeat so easily."

Staring back at him she answered wearily, "We both know there's no point in the CBI investigating this if you're not willing to tell us anything that'll help. But if you and she were as close as you say I'm a little surprised you're letting your personal feelings get in the way of finding out who did this to her."

"Unless I'm the one who did this to her. Then I would have reason to withhold the truth," he challenged.

She laughed softly. "You didn't kill her."

He laughed mirthlessly. "You really should take off your blinkers where I'm concerned, Lisbon."

"It's not blinkers, Jane. It's logic. If you had killed her you would never have done it so sloppily. And you would have made sure you had an airtight alibi."

She frowned and took a seat again, noting his surprise as she did so. "Why did you want us on this case?"

He narrowed his eyes. "I don't recall calling you. Your old pal Morris did I imagine."

"And you knew he would. You knew I used to work here, that I worked with him. I'm sure I mentioned him on a couple of occasions. And you knew by being evasive with him would result in him phoning me and asking for my help to...handle you. It's not like the reason you left the CBI is common knowledge. For all he knows we could have parted as friends. You could have made up a thousand stories to set his mind at rest of your involvement and let you go without another word. Even if you are somehow mixed up in her death you could have sent him down a hundred false paths away from you. So tell me Jane, why did you want the CBI on this?"

A wry smile formed on his lips and she allowed herself a small smile in return as she saw a blink of admiration in his eyes. "You tell me," he said quietly.

She nodded, smiling fully now. "Because we're the best at what we do. Because...no matter what happened between you and me personally you...on some level...trust us to find her killer."

He neither confirmed nor denied her assumption. Instead he replied, "Trust doesn't come into it. But your team have an outstanding success rate. Especially when I'm part of it."

Her eyes wide she stammered, "You...you want to come back to work at the CBI?"

He regarded her coldly. "For this case only. Janet was important to me."

She looked off to the side for a few seconds, swallowing the hurt she felt as he discussed his feelings for another woman, before fixing him with a steely gaze. "If you do you realise you'll have to work with me again. _For_ me again. You truly think you'll be able to handle that?"

He smiled a little, a trace of seductiveness in his bitter tone, "I don't recall ever having a problem with you being in charge, did I?"

She opened her mouth and her cheeks reddened immediately as his implication. Recovering she said, "I'm serious, Jane. You follow my orders and I want the truth from you at all times where this case is concerned. No running off on your own. No tricks. No plans without telling me beforehand."

"Of course," he replied innocently, "just like before."

She rolled her eyes and shook her head. As if she didn't have enough paperwork, it was about to increase tenfold_._

* * *

_She sat at her desk at the CBI, running through the toxicology report of the man who had been murdered where they assumed Jane had picked up the toxin. She questioned his associates, his relatives on where he could have been poisoned. He worked as a lawyer, not at a centre for infectious diseases or out in the wilds where he may have picked something up by accident. No foreign travel in the past year according to his passport. His house and grounds had been searched but nothing had been found. Cho had arrived back at the office shortly after she did, no doubt feeling the same helplessness she did and helped her investigate while simultaneously wanting to keep an eye on her. Nothing after three hours. She checked with the CDC who were looking into identification of the toxin and who had isolated Jane when he reached the hospital and had tested the team immediately after he arrived for similar symptoms. Once they were satisfied that he was not infectious they had taken blood samples and most of them had left, leaving a couple of staff members there to no doubt catalogue his demise. She could barely look at them. Cho talked with some of the best doctors on the planet, people trained in diagnosing rare conditions but there seemed to be no hope of finding a cure or an idea of where to look next without knowing what they were dealing with in the first place. _

_Six hours later she had researched as much as she could on the internet herself. She knew it was pointless; she was going to find no answers there if the CDC didn't have them but she had to do something. Anything to stop from thinking about her friend who was dying. The words suddenly hit her like a freight train. Her best friend was dying and here she was trawling the internet. He needed her, he'd asked for her and she'd abandoned him. Ran away instead. She briefly thought about when she'd left Chicago, another time she'd run away when life got too hard. At that instant Cho walked into her office and slumped into the chair opposite. Before he spoke she did._

"_I know it's time I talked to him," she whispered, her voice cracking. _

_Cho nodded and picked up her coat. "I'll go with you." _

* * *

_She entered his room quietly and saw he was asleep. It was a picture she'd seen a thousand times but none like this. More lines evident on his face, his colour drained, his lips pale and dry. The doctor had told her he'd just had another transfusion and that he should wake soon. She wiped the tears from her cheeks and sniffed. She held out a hand and brushed it lightly over his hair, a ragged breath escaping as she did so. She had yearned to touch his hair for years, a small secret she kept to herself, wondered often if it was as soft as it appeared. She looked at her hand tangled in it and smiled sadly. Even drenched in sweat it felt wonderfully silken._

"_I hope it was worth the wait."_

_His sudden soft voice startled her and she leapt back, putting a hand to her chest. Her cheeks aflame she took in his knowing smile and she shook her head. "Not really, bit of a disappointment," she said, trying to sound offhand, pursing her lips to keep in control of her emotions._

_His full grin in return broke all her resolve and she allowed the tears to stream down her face. _

"_Come here," he said softly, patting his hand on the bed beside him. _

_She shook her head furiously, wiping her tears. "No! If I do that...If I do that I know what you're going to say. You're going to want to say goodbye." She turned her tears into anger. "And I'm not ready for that! I'm not ready to say goodbye to you, you jackass!"_

_He laughed softly. "Teresa, please. Sit down before your legs give way."_

_She could feel her legs trembling and wondered briefly if he had just implanted that suggestion into her brain. She shook her head once again and stumbled over to sit beside him. "I'm only doing this if you promise not to say goodbye," she snapped, pulling her jacket around her for comfort._

"_Okay. No goodbyes."_

"_Okay," she sighed, beginning to calm down._

_Their eyes locked on each other and he moved his hand take one of hers. Silently he rubbed his thumb over her knuckles and she felt herself relax a little more. "You need to stop," he said quietly._

_She eyed him quizzically._

"_You need to stop looking for a miracle. You need to accept what's going to happen."_

_She looked down at their hands that were now intertwined. "Tell me this is all some colossal trick of yours. Like the time you pretended we were going to die before."_

_He chuckled. "It would be a hell of a trick if it were. Could sell it to David Copperfield."_

_She met his eyes and tears began to fall again. "You can't leave me. Everyone...everyone I care about leaves me. Please don't leave me, Jane." Her whole adult being was built on being totally independent but at this moment in time she felt like she was twelve years old again and wanted the world to stop turning, to stop the lonely path she would have to trek from this point on._

_Tears fell down his own cheeks now and he squeezed her hand tighter. "Believe me, I don't want to. It's the last thing I want, Teresa. Especially not now."_

"_Why not now?"_

_He nodded, sniffing to stop crying and wiping his tears away. "I'll get to that. Before...before that I need you to promise me something."_

_Expecting this request she replied quickly, "I'll catch him. I promise. I'll make him pay. For what he did to Angela and Charlotte and...for you," she replied seriously._

"_Good. If you can find it in your heart to kill him instead of sending him to prison I'd appreciate it but I won't make you promise that."_

"_If he makes one wrong move I won't hesitate to put ten bullets into him."_

_Jane tilted his head. "Well that seems a little overkill but...I'll leave it to you." He smiled again and reached up to dry her tears with his free hand. "Well, now that's out of the way, let's move on to more important matters."_

"_More important matters than him?" she asked, surprised._

_He nodded, smiling, his fingers caressing the curve of her cheek. "Much more important matters."_


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5 – Engaged &amp; Enraptured

"He's coming back to the CBI?" Van Pelt asked, wide eyed.

Lisbon nodded, "Yeah, just for this case. He made that abundantly clear. Although when I spoke to Wainwright he practically did a cartwheel. Guess he's hoping once he's back he'll stay longer," she sighed.

"And you're okay with this, boss?" Rigsby asked.

She shrugged. "As long as he can act professional then it'll be fine."

Raised eyebrows were exchanged between her team members at her response.

"Yeah, yeah, I know, acting professional is hardly his thing but he wants this murder solved and wants us involved so I guess he'll fake it if he has to."

Cho crossed his arms over his chest. "What did he tell you about Janet Walker?"

Lisbon blushed and averted her eyes for a second. "He implied they were lovers but...not much else. He said he'd tell us more once he's back in Sacramento and has spoken to Wainwright and got his credentials approved as a consultant again."

"So, he doesn't trust any one of us," Cho replied.

"Doesn't look that way," Lisbon said as Morris waved to her to grab her attention. As she was about to walk away she added, "He'll be here soon enough. Just act normal around him and I'm sure everything will be fine."

When she was outside of hearing range Rigsby shook his head. "What land is she living in? That's the second time she's said things will be fine in less than a minute. Who's she trying to kid?"

Van Pelt exhaled, "She's living in cloud cuckoo land if she thinks Jane is going to make things easy for any one of us."

Cho commented, "He'll work with us. He obviously needs us to do the drudge work as he sees it or there'd be no point in coming back at all. Besides he doesn't see us as betraying him like she did. We just went along with covering it up. Like the boss said, he'll fake it with us to make it work."

"But with Lisbon?" Van Pelt interjected.

"With Lisbon? Even he's not a good enough actor to pretend he won't have a problem working with her again."

Van Pelt nodded, "Yeah, and Lisbon's not going to be able to brush it under the carpet for long that she's investigating the murder of his lover and that it doesn't bother her."

Rigsby puffed out a breath. "Well, it's going to interesting around the office again, that's for sure."

As Rigsby finished speaking he nodded a greeting as Jane strolled over in the direction of his former colleagues. Jane glanced quickly at Lisbon a short distance away who was talking to Morris and who, he guessed, was getting details of the Walker case and the Costas case as part of the handover to the CBI. He'd assumed correctly she'd want both investigated by her and her team because of the likely link between them.

"Hey," he said brightly as he approached the trio. "Grace, good to see you again," he smiled.

"Hey Jane, how have you been?" she smiled nervously.

He studied her for a second and tilted his head to the side. "Well, not as busy as you if that ring is anything to go by," he replied, glancing at the diamond solitaire on her engagement finger. He immediately turned his attention to Rigsby, "So, you finally came to your senses, did you?"

Rigsby put an arm around his fiancée and grinned. "Yeah, I guess we did."

Jane looked from one to the other and nodded, his lips pursed. "Well...good for you. Many congratulations to you both," he said politely but little warmth to his tone.

Van Pelt stammered as the silence grew into discomfort for her. "Wedding's in a month, we'd love for you to come." She smiled awkwardly at the end of the sentence.

Jane immediately looked to the ground and bit his lip. "We'll see," he said quietly. "But I doubt I'll be around that long."

* * *

_Jane dropped his hand from her cheek and sighed. "Lisbon, I want to...I need to say some things to you. Before-"_

"_Please Jane, don't say before it's too late."_

_He thought for a moment. _"_Okay then, before I lose my nerve. Will that do instead?" he smiled._

_She nodded quickly. "I guess." _

"_Teresa, I want you to know that...well I want you to know that it's not just you." He stared into her eyes. "I want you to know that it's not one sided. That I...that I feel it too. This...this thing between us. I didn't want you to think afterwards that...it was unrequited. I need you to know that, Lisbon-"_

"_Please stop," she whispered, her voice quivering. "Stop talking, please."_

_He shook his head. "I've thought about this and maybe it's selfish telling you all this now but I need you to know how important you are to me. How much you mean to me. I don't want you to doubt that-"_

"_Stop it!" she shouted silencing him before her tone quietened again. She let out a shaky laugh. "You know you're going to be incredibly embarrassed pouring your heart out to me when a cure's found in a few hours."_

_He sighed loudly. "You know that's not going to happen."_

"_You don't know that," she said determinedly, her voice rising, "Not for sure. You still have two days. There's still time. You can't give up, Jane. Not yet." She laughed through her tears. "It would be typical of you, to find a cure at the last minute, no?"_

_He smiled sadly at her. Saint Teresa still looking for her miracle. "Yeah, who knows," he said softly, trying to sound hopeful for her._

_Lisbon averted her eyes to stop herself falling apart completely. "You know how much you mean to me too," she said quietly._

"_I do."_

_After a moment she drew her eyes back to him and cocked an eyebrow. "I see your ego hasn't been affected then," she smiled through glassy eyes._

_Grinning, "You know how I recognised how I felt about you? When I finally allowed myself to admit I saw you more than a friend? When I was told the prognosis my first thought wasn't that I wouldn't catch Red John because of it. My first thought was no longer seeing you every day, that I wouldn't see your smile or experience being yelled at by you. Those were the things that mattered to me first, not him. It told me where my priorities lie. Just wished I'd figured that out a little sooner. I'm sorry for not making some different choices." _

_He laughed softly. "It's true what they say. Dying...it gives you a new perspective on how you've lived your life."_

_She swallowed a lump in her throat. "It's okay, Jane. I understand why you made those choices. What I don't understand is why you're not as angry about all this as I am. I mean, you're the worst patient I've ever seen and you seem so...so at peace with this."_

_He shrugged. "Who says I'm not? I'm royally pissed off to be honest but unfortunately I don't have the energy to put much vigour into it. But at least...well at least I didn't die by his hand and I know he'll be almost as incensed as I am that he's lost his playmate through something he didn't plan himself. That...well that thought gives me some peace of mind, I guess."_

"_Is there anything I can get you? Some tea maybe while you're awake?"_

_He shook his head. "Not tea but...well there is one thing I'd very much like to do that you can help me with."_

"_What?" she sighed, drying her tears once again. "I can't get you out of here if that's what it is."_

"_That's not it."_

"_Okay then, what?"_

_He gnawed on his bottom lip for a few seconds. "Well, I'd very much like to kiss you."_

_She gaped at him. "But...you're hardly in any condition for that-"_

_He smirked back. "Just a kiss, Lisbon. Now unless you have some superpower where kissing is concerned I think I'll be able to manage one or two without dying on the spot." He added, "You know I'm not contagious if that's what you're worried about-"_

"_I know that! It's not that at all! But still..."_

_Smiling smugly, "Well then perhaps I've misread the situation entirely all these years. Perhaps you're not attracted to me whatsoever. That would certainly also explain your reticence." _

_She rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Jerk," she muttered under her breath._

"_I'm nervous too if that helps. Or I could use it as my dying wish," he smiled._

"_Stop talking like that."_

"_Make me," he grinned, a faint twinkle in his weary eyes._

_She looked off to the side to escape his gaze and the reaction her body was having to the thought of kissing him. "If we're both nervous then maybe that tells us that we shouldn't even be contemplating it."_

_He reached up and cupped her cheek, noticing how it flushed as he did so and the accompanying tremor of her hand still entwined in his. He spoke softly. "No, it just means that by doing it we know it also means we drop our guards. It's a scary prospect for both of us."_

"_Things will never be the same again," she reasoned through hitched breath, her eyes full of trepidation._

"_That's going to be true whether I'm cured or not. Now, let's stop stalling, shall we? Time's a wasting."_

_He moved his hand from her cheek to the back of her neck and pulled her face gently towards his. He stilled his movements as her lips were inches from his and he intensified his gaze, dropping his mask completely and finally showing her the affection and desire he had for her. A feeling of liberation ran through them both as she allowed herself to return his look with an openness she had never let him see before, with no pretence and no disguise of the thirst for the man in front of her. _

_She closed the gap as their eyes shut, their lips meeting tentatively in a soft closed mouth kiss. Again, he kissed her; placing both hands on her face and pulling her closer as their mouths began to move against each other. A soft moan escaped from his lips as she ran a hand through his hair, the other lightly on his chest. He began to feel light-headed but moved his tongue to circle her lips and she groaned in response, parting her lips until their tongues were entwined in a slow and sensuous journey of discovery. Flushed she pulled away but kept stroking his hair gently as they looked at each with a new awareness. He smiled as tiredness took over him once again. "Wow," he whispered. _

"_That's all I get?" she smiled._

_He shrugged, "When something's as perfect as that, words would only spoil it."_

_She blushed and looked down. _

"_Will you stay with me until I fall asleep?" he murmured._

_As a silent response she laid her head on his chest as he encircled his arms around her shoulders. Within two minutes he was sleeping peacefully, a smile on his lips as his chin rested on the top of her head._


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 – Diagnosis &amp; Determination

_A faint knock on the door made Lisbon open her eyes. Turning slowly she extricated herself from Jane's arms and the doctor in charge of Jane's case waved her out to the hallway. After a final caress of his cheek she walked out of the room, closing the door quietly behind her._

"_Agent Lisbon, there's been a development," the doctor said immediately. "The CDC has identified the toxin after performing an autopsy on the original victim Mr Norris; he was the body you were investigating when Mr Jane was stricken, correct? It's quite uncommon so it didn't show up in any of the standardised tests to begin with but this last batch of tests has produced a result. It appears to be a type of snake venom that has been chemically enhanced." He looked down at his notes. "Let me see, I have the chemical make up here somewhere-"_

"_Snake venom? But Jane wasn't bitten. Neither was Norris. I've looked at the original M.E.'s report. No puncture wounds."_

"_You're correct, neither man was bit but as I said it's been chemically enhanced so it didn't come directly from a snake. More likely it was slipped into something they ate or drank. But the truth is we don't know how Mr Norris was infected or Mr Jane at this stage."_

"_So it wasn't when he touched Norris' eye?"_

"_Doubtful. Mr Jane is not infectious in any way and so we have to assume Mr Norris wasn't either when he died. That's what the CDC has told me."_

_Lisbon put to the back of her mind for the moment that this was a personal attack against both men and focused on Jane's recovery._

"_Okay, so now it's been identified can it be treated?"_

_Any hope that surged in her was quickly shot down by the shake of his head. "It's a mixed bag of a number of enzymes I'm afraid. Doesn't relate to any particular breed of snake, it's been so modified. Unlikely that a cure to a similar strain would work." _

"_Unlikely?" Lisbon held onto the word like it was a lifeline. "That doesn't mean that one of them won't. You have to at least try," she begged._

_The doctor moved to a chair in the corridor and sat down slowly, motioning for Lisbon to sit on one beside him. "I understand how difficult this must be for you-"_

"_Please don't start that crap again," Lisbon bit back. "I don't need your sympathy or your pity. I need you to do your job and treat him."_

_The doctor exhaled loudly, clearly exasperated by her temperament. "Fine." He handed Lisbon a list of what looked like Latin and Greek words covering the entire page. "These are the anti venom drugs that exist. The closest to Mr Jane's particular strain. So where would you suggest we start, Agent Lisbon? From the top, the bottom, stick a pin in it and pick one?"_

_Lisbon stared at the long list, blinking to stop herself crying again. "The answer could be on this page," she said quietly._

_Softer, "You're right. It very well could be. And if we try the wrong one it could kill him instantly or advance the progression."_

"_So, what are you suggesting, we just give up?" she asked wearily._

"_Unless you know someone who can tell us which one of these to try then I don't see we have any other choice than to make him comfortable for the next couple of days."_

* * *

"You've been staring at that M.E.'s report for half an hour. You're still on the first page," Cho said as he drove them back to Sacramento.

Lisbon pulled herself out of the past and began to read the report for real. Before she got to the second paragraph Cho spoke again. "Why are you letting him come back?"

She frowned at him. "Me? It was Wainwright who wants this, not me."

Cho tilted his head, his silence deafening.

"Since you apparently already have an answer why don't you tell me?" Lisbon retorted.

Cho never took his eyes off the road and spoke impassively. "You're hoping by being back there he'll remember what it was like before he left. You're hoping that he'll forgive you and move on at least. You're still in love with him and you hope that deep down he feels the same way and by being part of your team again will remind him of that."

Lisbon turned to look out the side window, blushing as she did so. "Do you have any idea how inappropriate it is to bring up mine and Jane's...romantic relationship? You still work for me, you know."

"So did he, didn't stop you from sleeping with him. That's far more inappropriate than talking about it."

Her face was crimson. "That was different and you know it. It wasn't like he was an agent."

"How do you imagine it's going to work with him this time?"

Lisbon looked out the side window once again and sighed. She had no answer to that question but she would find out soon enough.

* * *

Jane pulled his car into the CBI Parking lot after checking into the same Motel he used to stay at occasionally when he lived here before. Wainwright had wasted no time and Tommy on Security had already been informed of his return and arranged his old parking spot for him. Jane smiled faintly. Closure rates must really be down. He could use that information to manipulate the pencil pusher if he had to. When he exited the vehicle he looked up at the building that he used to think of as home, somewhere that had brought him a sense of belonging after being adrift, of someone who used to make him feel he had a place in the world again. Now it reminded him only of lies and betrayal. He had to make sure it stayed that way.

When he arrived at Wainwright's office Lisbon was already sitting on the couch there, both of them awaiting his arrival. When he opened the door she picked at some invisible speck of dust from her jeans. He glanced at her quickly before approaching Wainwright who stood up from behind his desk.

"Jane, welcome back, I'm glad Lisbon here was able to convince you to give this another shot."

Jane turned to Lisbon and raised a questioning eyebrow.

"That's not what I said," she came back with immediately before he had a chance to call her a liar once again. "I told him that you wanted to work the Walker and Costas cases. And no other." He studied her coldly and nodded, satisfied she had told him the truth.

"She did say that but I'm confident once you get back into the swing of things around here you'll want to stick around."

"I wouldn't bet on it, Luther," he replied, smiling at Wainwright. "You have my I.D.?"

Wainwright handed him over the laminate. "Thank you," Jane added smoothly. "Now, if it's all the same to you I'll get to work."

Without another glance at either of them he left the office.

Lisbon shrugged and got off the couch. "You still think it's a good idea having him back here?"

* * *

When Jane made it to the bullpen his eyes were immediately drawn to his old brown leather couch. An involuntarily smile graced his lips as he approached it and touched the soft leather reverently.

"She was adamant it should stay here," Van Pelt said softly coming behind him and observing the genuine smile on his lips. "In fact, I think we all think of it as some kind of lucky charm for the team."

The smile fell immediately upon hearing her words. "It's just a couch, Van Pelt, it doesn't have magical powers."

A moment later he noticed Lisbon avoid the bullpen and head straight into her office instead with her head down. As he glanced through the blinds a memory suddenly came to him of her laugh, her green eyes dancing as he swirled her around her office one night in an impromptu waltz when everyone else had gone home. He closed his eyes to bring him forward in time again and steeled himself for the task in hand.

* * *

_Lisbon walked out of the hospital grasping the list. She thought about Jane's words. About Red John not being responsible for his death. But in light of the diagnosis maybe he was. Maybe he'd done this after all and poisoned him. She shook her head violently after a moment. Not a chance. If Red John were to blame he would make sure Jane knew it was him. And poison wasn't his MO, he liked to see the light disappear from his victim's eyes as he slashed them and for Jane he would dream up something truly horrific when the time came. Jane was right about something. Red John would be devastated at losing his prized opponent this way. He'd be mad as hell in fact. A light bulb suddenly lit up in Lisbon's head and she grabbed her phone. _

"_Van Pelt, meet me at the office, right away."_

_Lisbon was there before her, pacing in front of her desk. It was 2am and she had been living off caffeine and not much else for almost forty eight hours now. Van Pelt rushed into Lisbon's office dressed in a pair of jogging bottoms and a T-shirt. She'd obviously pulled on the first thing she'd come across when Lisbon called her. _

"_Boss, what is it? Is it Jane? I heard you went to the hospital to see him. Is he worse? Shouldn't you be there?" _

_Lisbon ignored the questions and made no apology for the late night call. Instead she motioned to her office chair. "In a roundabout way, yes. Sit down, Van Pelt." _

_Confused, Van Pelt stared at her._

"_Sit down, Van Pelt," Lisbon said again, louder. _

_Acquiescing, the young agent walked around the desk and took a seat in Lisbon's chair. _

"_Okay," Lisbon stammered, standing behind her. "Do you remember the Renfrew case?"_

_Van Pelt looked at the screen in front of her in blind confusion. "What? Um...yeah, of course, what's it got to do with what's happened to Jane?" _

"_Nothing. As part of that investigation Jane was able to make contact with Red John when you were looking into some Health Care Database in relation to the case, right? He was logged into the DOJ secure network and had access to the Database."_

"_Yeah, so?" Van Pelt replied, turning her head and frowning at her boss. "Dr Joe in New Hampshire. Red John." Her eyes widened, "Oh my god, do you think he's got something to do with Jane getting poisoned?!"_

_Lisbon shook her head. "The opposite in fact." She bit her bottom lip nervously. "Van Pelt, who, apart from us, wants Jane to live the most?"_

_Van Pelt frowned before slowly nodding. "Red John I guess. He wants to keep him alive to make him suffer."_

_Lisbon nodded. "Precisely. Log onto the DOJ server. We know he can get in there. And we also know he keeps track of Jane's movements. He more than likely already knows Jane's been hospitalised and may be online to get news. Link into that Health Care Database too."_

"_Boss, I don't get this. You want to contact Red John? If he doesn't have anything to do with this then why for heaven's sake?"_

"_Van Pelt, just do as I say. Log on and IM Dr Joe. I'll take it from there."_

"_Boss-"_

"_Now, Van Pelt!" _

_The redhead turned quickly back to the computer and tapped the keys furiously getting Lisbon the access she wanted. "I'm in...What now?" Van Pelt said quietly._

"_Nothing. Go home. I'll take over," Lisbon said quietly. _

"_I can stay," Van Pelt ventured. "I don't mind."_

_Lisbon shook her head. "No. This is my idea. If I could have accessed this myself I never would have involved you at all."_

"_Involved me in what?" Van Pelt asked with pleading eyes. "Please, boss, tell me what you're going to do."_

"_Go home, Grace," Lisbon said softly. "And please don't mention this to a soul."_

_Just as Van Pelt opened Lisbon's office door she turned back to her and regarded her with a solemn expression. _

"_I don't know what your plan is but if you manage to contact him he'll manipulate you. Or do something much worse. Jane wouldn't approve of this and you know it."_

"_It's not Jane's decision. It's mine," Lisbon replied defiantly._

_After Van Pelt left Lisbon took a deep breath. A prompt sat open for her to begin the conversation. She typed quickly._

This is Lisbon_. _What you've heard about Jane is true_. _

_She closed her eyes briefly as her fingers hovered over the keys. Releasing a breath she quickly added:_

I need your help.

_When she hit the return key she felt like she'd just entered into a dialogue with the devil. It wasn't far from the truth. _


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Really angry Jane and Lisbon alert ahead! There will be better times ahead (in the past) soon so hope you keep reading. And thank you to all the new reviewers and followers this story has received. The lovely support spurs me on.**

* * *

Chapter 7 – Explosions &amp; Enlistment

The knock on her office door brought Lisbon out of her thoughts as she stared at the screen in front of her. She took a moment to take a deep breath before saying, "Come in."

Cho entered and said, "Jane says he's ready to start work on the Walker case."

Lisbon shook her head and smiled thinly. So now they were communicating through proxies. "Fine," she said brightly, standing up and grabbing the notes on the case from SFPD.

When she arrived at the conference table Jane, Rigsby and Van Pelt were already seated, an uncomfortable silence filled by Rigsby tapping his pen on the table. While Van Pelt was gnawing on her bottom lip and looking at her lap, Jane sat back in his chair, a cup of tea in his hand, a calm and cold expression on his face. Lisbon glanced at the familiar teacup he'd obviously found at the back of the cupboard and looked into his eyes for a second, willing him to acknowledge that she had kept it safe for his return. She noticed him shift slightly in his chair as he picked up on the intimation before casting his gaze away from her and down to take a sip of his favourite brew. She felt she had just won a small victory when she had just made him blink first. He wasn't as cold to her as he was letting on; there was still something there between them. She knew him better than anyone before he'd left and in that instant she saw a hint of the man she loved once again. She suddenly felt surer she could fix this.

"Okay," Lisbon said brightly, sitting down followed by Cho. "So, Jane, let's hear the full story about Janet Walker now that you have your credentials approved."

Jane put the cup and saucer on the table slowly before placing his hands in his lap. "Are you sure you want to hear the full story, Lisbon? There may be parts that will make you blush," he replied dispassionately but with a smile on his lips.

"When did you meet her?" Lisbon replied with little emotion to her tone.

Jane sighed quietly and sucked in a breath as he looked out of the window beside him for a moment. Before she asked him again he turned back to face her. "Two months ago. I visited the Art Gallery in San Francisco where she was a partner. We struck up a conversation about a piece there, found we shared a lot in common and arranged to meet for drinks the following night."

Lisbon inwardly prickled as Jane recounted making a date with another woman. "Did you meet her partner Costas that night?"

"No. He was there but I didn't meet him that night."

Cho asked, "When did you meet him?"

"Um...a week later. There was an opening for a new artist so Janet introduced us then."

"What was their relationship like?" Lisbon asked.

"Costas &amp; Janet? Stormy I guess you'd call it. They didn't always see eye to eye. They argued often. Kept secrets from each other I suspect too. The relationship was bound to fail because of it." He stared at her heartlessly as he imparted his last sentence.

Blushing she persevered, "You said relationship. So are you saying they had been involved romantically at one stage?"

"I never asked."

Lisbon found herself getting agitated. "That doesn't mean you didn't know. Or that she never told you without you asking. What was your read on the situation?"

"Why does that matter?"

"Because we're trying to solve two murders here, Jane. First, we need to know if Janet Walker killed Costas or if it's possible that the same person who killed Walker killed Costas too. If they had been involved romantically then there's more chance of Janet being his killer, crime of passion and all that. You know this stuff."

"Oh," Jane replied, nodding, as if he was really taking in the information before looking at her pointedly. "Why not just ask me if Janet killed Costas? Wouldn't that be easier than going around the houses with these foolish questions?"

Lisbon blinked quickly as Rigsby asked, "Did she kill him?"

Jane nodded. "Ah, yes, I believe she did." He picked up his cup and took another sip of tea calmly.

"You knew this all along?!" Lisbon growled. "Why didn't you tell us sooner? In fact, why didn't you come forward at the time?" In a lower tone she said, "Tell me you didn't help her do it or cover it up afterwards."

"I didn't help her do it or cover it up afterwards."

Her relief was replaced by uncertainty when she replayed his answer in her head. "Are you just saying that because I've just asked you to tell me that or is that really the truth?"

Jane gave her one of his most enigmatic smiles. "I'm not interested in Costas' murder at this time. Let's just say I am certain Janet did it. Now, let's move on-"

Lisbon exploded from her chair and placed her palms flat on the table in front of her. "You can't just make a statement like that and expect us to brush it under the carpet that you knew about it, Jane! Not to mention that you may even have been involved in it for chrissakes!"

Jane's temper snapped and he bit back, raising himself from his chair to stand opposite her. "Please, Teresa, really? If there's anything this team _is _good at it's brushing things under the carpet and collaborating with murderers! Maybe before you snap to judgement at what I may or may not have done perhaps you should take a look at your own behaviour first and stop being so damned sanctimonious when this whole table knows what you're capable of!"

"That was different and you damn well know it, you son of a bitch!"

As Van Pelt opened her mouth in shock at her boss and Jane having a slanging match across the conference table Rigsby took hold of Lisbon's shoulders to hold her back in case she decided to take a swing at Jane as Cho moved to stand beside Jane and said quietly to him, "Keep your voice down."

Jane laughed in his face as he noticed other agents now peering in their direction at the kerfuffle. Jane mocked, "Oh, of course, we can't have the rest of the CBI find out that Saint Teresa's halo is tarnished, can we? We have to protect our glorious leader at all costs, don't we, Cho?"

"Take a walk," Cho told him. "Cool down."

Cho shook his head at Lisbon at the nightmare that had unfolded within two minutes of Jane being back. "You too."

* * *

Lisbon slammed her office door shut behind her, a little surprised the glass didn't shatter as she did so. She sat down at her desk with her head in her hands, trying to take deep breaths to calm down. She'd never seen him like that, not to her, not to anyone really unless it was part of a plan to unmask a killer. She brushed a couple of stray tears from her eyes and took another deep breath. She laughed nervously suddenly, a memory of Jane telling her once that she was meaner to him than the other kids because she liked him. Well, from the treatment she'd just been given, he must be positively head over heels in love with her. She sighed as she watched the prompt on the monitor blink in front of her.

* * *

_Lisbon stared at the screen. Her eyes began to burn as the minutes extended into an hour. She leaned back in her chair and looked at her watch. Jane would more than likely be awake again soon and would look for her. The memory of his lips on hers made her heart flutter. She laughed to herself. Either that or just too much caffeine. She closed her eyes for a moment and relived the experience. Their first kiss was tentative, slow and she felt an uncertainty and almost an awkwardness from him when he first brushed his lips to hers. She supposed that was only to be expected. As far as she was aware she was the first woman he'd kissed since his wife. She had an inkling that something may have happened with Erika Flynn but she couldn't be certain and she'd rather live in denial at this point if something did. Unless her plan worked, she would certainly be the last person he would kiss. _

_A beep from the monitor made her open her eyes instantly. She fought for breath as she read a reply to her message._

My help? You truly must be desperate, Teresa.

_She typed back: _I am.

_A few seconds passed before he replied._ What can I do?

Help me save him. I have a list of the anti venom drugs but don't know which one will help him or if any of them will.

I've brought myself up to speed on his case and the list in question. And you think I know the answer? You think I'm a doctor?

I don't know and at this moment in time I don't care who you are. But if you find the person who murdered Martin Norris then I am hoping you can persuade him to impart the name of the cure.

You realise you're talking about torture and perhaps cold blooded murder, Teresa. Hardly standard police interrogation methods. Tell me, does that excite you? Crossing the boundaries you've set yourself?

_Lisbon felt like she was about to throw up_.

You know I wouldn't have come to you unless I'd already exhausted all leads in the case. And since you're not responsible for what happened to Jane I believe you are probably already looking for the person responsible for thwarting your plans for him. I know you have friends in many places, friends I do not have.

Criminals you mean?

And you have a certain knowledge of poisonous drugs. I believed there was a chance you may already have come across the perpetrator or know where to start.

Ah yes, poor Rebecca.

If you tell me where to start looking I'm more than happy to do whatever it takes myself to find a cure.

Such fierceness. Such loyalty. I wonder if Patrick Jane truly appreciates the treasure I've allowed him to find. Does he?

_Lisbon shook her head. Did he really believe that by killing his family he'd done Jane a favour? She didn't have time to ponder the question. Instead of replying to his question she asked one of her own_.

So, you'll help?

If I do what do I get in return?

_Lisbon swallowed hard._ What do you want?

I'll be in touch. Keep your phone charged.

He doesn't have much time.

Talk soon, Teresa. This has been illuminating.

* * *

Jane sat on the rooftop coffee shop he'd frequented often. Many times with Lisbon. He'd tried to get her to open up to him here when her psychiatrist had attempted to frame her for murder. They'd eaten ice cream here more than once. Laughing, bickering sometimes, and bantering. For all his issues times were much simpler back then. And now he'd just lost it in the middle of the CBI bullpen. So much for his legendary control. He sighed loudly and shook his head just as he noticed Cho approach and take a seat opposite. Neither man spoke for a few minutes.

Cho finally said, "If you want to work with us again there have to be some ground rules."

Jane raised an eyebrow. "I didn't realise you'd taken over from Wainwright. Congratulations on your promotion."

"Stop acting like a jackass. We all know what went down. Time you either got over it or leave again if you can't."

Jane shook his head slowly. "Cho, no offence, but you have _no_ idea what went down between Lisbon and I."

"I know enough. She asked Red John to help save your life. He did. Then you entered a sexual relationship together. She hurt you by not telling you about how you were cured. You're pissed at all of us for not telling you but especially her. What else is there to know?"

Jane rolled his eyes at the quick but pretty accurate synopsis of what happened a year ago. To an independent bystander Cho was mostly correct in his summary. Unfortunately Jane was not a bystander but a full participant in the proceedings so couldn't look at the situation in such black and white tones.

Jane replied, "I know you don't believe what she did was right either. Why have you stood by her?"

"People in love do dumb things."

"That's it? Those are the great words of wisdom from Kimball Cho? So, because she was in love with me I should forgive her for everything she did, is that what your advice is?"

"That's up to you. None of my business whether you do or don't. But if you insist on working here then you have to find a way to work with her. She's not going anywhere. Simple as that."


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: So many apologies for the delay in updating my stories, life is a little crazy at the moment but I am really hoping to do better and I haven't abandoned any of them, I promise. Thank you for your patience and your support.**

* * *

Chapter 8 - Negotiations

After Cho left Jane sipped his tea and looked over the Sacramento skyline as dusk approached. His first day back was an unmitigated disaster and he hadn't even got out of the starting blocks where Janet's murder was concerned. He watched as customers dwindled to a few stragglers, people with better things to do than sit on a roof terrace soul searching for an hour. His mind made up of his next course of action he got up and paid the bill.

As he approached her office he saw her as he had for many years, head bowed and scribbling on a form in front of her, her gaze set in concentration. For the first time since he'd seen her again he watched her unobserved. She was a tad thinner, her hair a little longer and in its natural waves. Her posture spoke of tiredness and he guessed she had spent the night tossing and turning as much as he had in preparation for their confrontation. A smile fell upon his lips when he ascertained that she had more than likely been the one whose decision it was to throw him in the cells the night before. A small punishment for leaving her abruptly and a first strike in informing him that she would be no pushover from the get go. His eyes trailed over her lithe form as she shifted from side to side in her chair to ease her back pain from hunching over the desk. A year ago he would have snuck in and massaged it away from her. He remembered such an occasion late at night as she leaned into him, her eyes closed and a small smile on her lips as he kneaded her lower back muscles with one hand, his other laid flat on the desk beside her. To a casual onlooker it would merely appear that he was leaning over and reading something in front of her. As was usual back then neither of them needed words to communicate and he would go back to his couch after a couple of minutes of releasing her tension after kissing the top of her head.

He took a deep breath and knocked on her door, another anomaly for him that showed the distance between them now.

"Come in," she said softly, her eyes trailing over Janet Walker's financial records that Van Pelt had given her.

When he opened the door she gaped in surprise and Jane entered her office and closed the door quietly behind him. She pushed her shoulders back, ready to engage in battle again. Before she spoke he noticed her defensive stance and said quietly, turning to the side to look through the blinds of her office out into the bullpen, "I didn't come in here to start another fight with you."

She relaxed her shoulders and watched as he stood in front of her unmoving, his lips pursed into a thin line. "I'm glad to hear it," she replied calmly. "So, what do you want?"

"What I told you I wanted in the first place. To work Janet's murder."

"Okay," she whispered. Louder, "But first I need to know if you participated in Costas' murder. Because if you did...if you did Jane, I can't-"

"I didn't help her kill him." He turned around to face her and their eyes locked on each other.

She tried to read him, to see if it was the truth, to read through the coldness in his expression. Interpreting her intention on cue he softened it slightly. "I didn't know she was going to kill him, Lisbon."

She couldn't decide if he was playing her or if he was telling the truth. Maybe a little of both she decided after a moment but on no real basis for that decision. There was certainly more to this case than he was telling her. But from experience she knew there was no point in pushing him if he had decided to keep quiet on the matter, he would only clam up further. All she could do was hope she either worked out the truth for herself or that he would tell her in due course.

"Did she tell you afterwards that she'd killed him?"

He shrugged, shoving his hands in his pockets. "I guessed as much."

"Why didn't you go to the police?"

He bit the inside of his cheek, shrugging again but remained silent.

She swallowed hard and released a breath to form the next words. "Was it because you were in love with her?"

Before he could hide it he frowned in absolute surprise, blinking twice rapidly and noticed her shoulders droop a little in relief as she recognised his initial reaction. "No," he replied as confirmation, averting his eyes from her.

Gratified from that piece of knowledge, she spoke louder, more professionalism in her tone as she leaned back in her chair. "Okay. So say I believe you. How do you propose we work together? Because what just happened out there can't happen again, Jane. No matter what you might think of what I did we can't act like that in front of the team."

He nodded. "It won't happen again. If you can control your temper then I certainly can."

"You're sure?"

He shrugged. "What other choice do we have?"

She shifted to release the knot of tension in her shoulders and sighed loudly. "Well we could actually talk about what happened a year ago. We could see if we could salvage-"

"Our affair is over, Lisbon," he said, determination in his tone once again.

"Interesting choice of words," she said quietly.

"It's not the first time we described what developed between us as such. And since it was surrounded in secrecy and deceit from the start it's a fairly accurate description of what actually transpired."

She puffed out a breath before shaking her head, trying to control her temper but falling short. "You know what, Jane? Enough. Enough with trying to make me feel sorry or guilty for what I did. I wasn't sorry then and I'm still not now. And you know what else?" She continued without allowing him a chance to respond, "You would have done exactly the same if you had been in my position. Probably a hell of a lot worse. At least I hope you would have done everything you could to save me like I did you. And instead of treating you like a leper I would have been grateful. You're nothing but a hypocrite and a liar if you think otherwise."

"Maybe it'd be better if we left what happened in the past. Try to move on somehow if we're going to be working together. For nothing else, for the harmony of the team," he replied, choosing to ignore her rant, more truth to her words than he cared to admit.

"Yeah, like you give a damn about team harmony."

"I don't but you do. So, I'm willing to make an effort to that affect in the interests of moving on where this case is concerned."

"How magnanimous of you," she replied, rolling her eyes.

"Would you rather I railroaded them and made their lives a misery every day?"

"Of course not." After pausing she added, "Okay, fine. Good. They don't deserve to be put in the middle. Not again." She sighed before asking the next question. "What about us?"

"There is no 'us' as I've just told you."

"Jesus, you really still are an arrogant jerk. I'm not talking about us in a romantic sense. And I wasn't talking about that earlier either. What I mean is that maybe by working together we could try to salvage our friendship. Try to get back to where we were before any of that."

He laughed. "You know sometimes I forget what an eternal optimist you are hidden behind that pessimistic exterior of yours. You really expect me to pretend the last year and a half didn't happen?"

"No. What I'm saying is that we sit down and talk like two adults and try to resolve our issues."

"You mean _my_ issues with what you did."

"You think I don't have a problem with what happened too? You left me, Jane. Wouldn't take my calls or let me know if you were alive or dead. We weren't just friends of colleagues. We were...we were together. We were...happy." Her voice began to break but she pulled herself together. "You just up and left without letting me explain-"

"You explained enough that night. I got the general gist."

Now it was her turn to laugh. "Of course you did," she replied, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "You know I actually believed you cared about me-"

He came closer to her desk quickly, ire in his eyes. "You know damn well how much you meant to me, Teresa. Don't even think about pulling that card on me."

"Yeah, well if you really cared then you would have let me explain. You would have talked to me rather than run off. Tried to fix things between us."

She shook her head, blinking unshed tears away and quietened her voice, looking off to the side. "Maybe you were right all those years ago. Some things really can't be fixed. Not when you don't want them to be at any rate."

He sighed loudly and ran a hand through his hair, slumping into the chair opposite her. "Let's just try to work together again, all right? You can't expect miracles overnight, Lisbon."

She smiled faintly. "I suppose you're right. Okay, let's try to see if we can make this work." She had an overnight miracle when he had been saved; two in a lifetime was perhaps a little too much to ask.

* * *

"_Put your weapons on the trunk of your car, Teresa."_

_The high pitched voice over her phone had directed her to Alexandria cemetery, as if she needed further evidence of his twisted sense of humour. She was a little surprised she hadn't been asked to put them on top of Angela and Charlotte's graves that she had parked beside. She did as she was told, looking around the graveyard for any sign of Red John or one of his disciples. At six in the morning it was eerily quiet and all she could hear was the start of the dawn chorus from nearby birds. He had called her less than twenty fours after she had initially contacted him to bring her here and Jane was now unconscious pretty much all of the time despite blood transfusions. His doctor had told her his organs would begin to shut down in a few hours at most without a cure. _

_She considered that this might be a trap but found herself oddly at peace if it were. At least Jane would never live to see her with a smiley face above her head. Her phone cracked again, making her jump from her thoughts. _

"_Good girl, Teresa. You didn't bring any of your friends with you. Although part of me was hoping that ravishing redhead would accompany you." _

_Lisbon's blood ran cold at the mention of Van Pelt's name. She glanced around again but could find no one within her view. "It's just me. Now, do you have something that will help Jane or not?"_

"_Tsk. Tsk. Such impatience. Apologise immediately."_

_Her hands shook and she bit back the insults she wanted to throw at him. On the slim chance that he did have something to help Jane she took a deep breath. "I apologise." She added, closing her eyes, her skin feeling like it was being stampeded by cockroaches, "Please."_

_His hollow laugh made her shiver and she wanted to crawl into a bath for a month. "That's better. Maybe one of these days I'll decide to teach you some better manners." After a moment he added, "The flower holder to the right of little Charlotte's grave."_

_Lisbon looked over to the plot beside Charlotte to a white vase with a single red rose inside. She removed the rose and found a vial with yellow liquid inside._

"_What is it?" she asked, examining it from all angles and holding it up to the light._

"_Patrick's salvation."_

"_I thought you were just going to tell me the name of the treatment he needs."_

"_Well I've done one better and provided you with it. I was frankly expecting a little more gratitude."_

"_But if I don't know what this is then how do I know if it'll cure him?"_

"_You'll just have to trust me, won't you?"_

_She guessed she had no choice. He was going to die in any case. _

"_What did you do to get this?" she asked warily._

"_Nothing you need concern yourself with. It's been handled, that's all you need to know. Now, say thank you."_

_She closed her eyes and used every trick of biofeedback Jane had taught her to take her mind away from the words she uttered next. "Thank you." Despite her best efforts her stomach lurched and she held back the bile that rose to her throat as the words came out. _

"_That's better. Much more civilised."_

_She wavered and wondered how to ask the next question before she finally blurted it out. "Okay, say I believe you and this cures Jane. What do you want in return?"_

_A long pause followed and she felt her heart thump in her chest. _

"_Nothing."_

"_Nothing?"_

"_Well, perhaps not nothing. I'm intrigued to see what happens next in this tableau. If Patrick will have an epiphany when you save his life. I think it may just be the push he needs to move on from his family. Frankly, I'm a little bored with that narrative. Time for another one I think."_

"_You...you want him to move on?" she asked incredulously._

"_For a time. Of course, when you tell him that I was the one who provided the cure he will hate you for it. So I would think very carefully about doing so if you want your relationship to continue to blossom. It would be a shame for things to stop just as they're getting interesting. Just think of all those wasted years you've spent pining for him and hoping for this very opportunity I'm handing you."_

"_You have the wrong idea. It's not like that between us-"_

"_Please don't insult me with a lie. Look at the graves in front of you. They tell you how much I hate liars."_

_She swallowed hard before replying, "He won't hate me for it. He'll understand why I did this."_

_Another laugh filled the morning air. "He will disown you, Teresa. His hatred of me surmounts any affection he has for you. He will see it as a betrayal, nothing else. He will never forgive you for it." _

"_You're wrong," she asserted._

"_We shall see. Time will tell," he replied, hanging up._


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9 - A Client &amp; A Cure

"Come on man, toss me for it."

Cho took his eyes off his computer monitor as he addressed Rigsby. "No."

Turning back to his screen, the matter closed, his friend persevered, "But you got them talking again, you know, instead of yelling at each other. And you're second in command, you know, you have that air of authority about you."

"Then I'm ordering you to do it. I've had enough of that circus for one day."

Rigsby peered into his boss's office and watched as Jane took a seat opposite Lisbon as they continued to speak to each other. "He sat down. That's a good sign, right?"

"Depends," Cho replied, "means he's no longer a moving target. Easier for Lisbon to throw something at."

Rigsby looked at the sheets of paper in his hands and bit on his lower lip. "Okay. Here goes." He expelled a breath as Van Pelt came back to the bullpen with a coffee, smiling softly at her fiancé as she did so. Noticing his fraught expression she asked, "What's up?"

She followed his gaze into Lisbon's office. "He came back? When?"

"About five minutes ago," Rigsby replied as the two of them stood watching the scene in front of them.

"She's not yelling. Neither is he. Maybe they've made up already."

Cho snorted from his desk in response.

"What?" Van Pelt asked, "It's possible."

Cho leaned back in his chair to address her, an eyebrow raised. "All Jane'll do is agree to a truce so he can work the case. No way is he letting go of this that easy."

Van Pelt rolled her eyes. "Misery guts." Then she smiled as she indulged in a little fantasy. "Well I think they'll make up. They've been through too much together to let it continue like this for much longer."

"I hope you're right, babe," Rigsby replied, shaking his head, gathering the papers in front of him once again.

"What's that?" Van Pelt asked, nodding to the stack in his hands.

"Client list for the gallery. I was about to give it to the boss but thought I'd let them finish talking first. You know...in case they're making amends like you said." He tried to give the words an air of confidence.

Another snort from Cho. This time he added, "No you weren't. You're afraid of what'll happen in there when you mention one name on the list. In case another fight breaks out and they take it out on the messenger."

Rigsby glared at Cho before shrugging his shoulders at Van Pelt. "Walter Mashburn's on the list."

Van Pelt frowned for a moment before she nodded. "Oh...Oh! He had a thing for Lisbon, didn't he? A couple of years ago."

"You think anything ever happened between them?"

"I...I don't know. I think she liked him, though. But so what? It was ages ago and it was just a fling if it did, nothing serious." She grinned suddenly, "Although...maybe Jane'll realise what he let go of if he sees someone else interested." She grabbed the papers off him and began to take a couple of strides to the office, stopping as the door opened and Lisbon walked out, closely followed by Jane.

As they approached the bank of desks Lisbon cleared her throat, gaining Cho's attention so that her three team members watched her as she began to speak.

"Okay, guys. Jane and I have talked and we're going to try this again. We apologise for the blow up earlier. We're going to make sure that doesn't happen again. Jane has confirmed he wasn't involved in Costas' murder so we move on and look at Janet Walker's in isolation. If we need to revisit Costas' at a later stage then we will." She looked at Jane for support and confirmation but received nothing but a small shrug and nod in response.

An eye roll later when she realised this was all she was going to get out of him she continued, her voice back to its professional tone once again, "So... what have we got so far?"

Van Pelt piped up. "Just got the client list for the gallery."

Lisbon nodded. "Okay. Good place to start. There was nothing taken from the house so more than likely it was someone she knew who murdered her, not a random robbery where she caught the perp." She turned to Jane who was looking out the window and appeared disinterested in the conversation thus far. "Unless you have somewhere else for us to start, Jane. Any likely suspects that you met you think we should question first?"

"Wouldn't I have told you if I had?" he replied, a scant look in her direction, his tone condescending.

She clenched her fists, making a mental note to go to the shooting range later to expel some tension when this day was over. She turned back to her team. "Okay, guess we do this the long way. Background checks on everyone on the list. There were no hesitation marks on her body so more than likely someone with a previous history of violence. Look for that first when you go through the list. How many people on it?"

"Almost two hundred," Rigsby replied, "gallery's been up and running for a while."

Lisbon puffed a breath. "Okay. Jane, any thoughts on how to narrow it down?"

"Janet was strong, fit. She attended the gym regularly-"

"Right," Lisbon interrupted, not wanting to hear anymore about his ex's physical stamina, "so we narrow it down to those who would only be able to physically overpower her, should remove some of the older candidates straightaway."

She addressed Jane again. "Man you suspect or would it be possible for a woman to overpower her?"

He shrugged. "Uncertain. My instinct would be a man but a woman trained in combat, someone like yourself or Van Pelt, would certainly be capable also."

Lisbon nodded. "Fine. Split the list up between you. See what you come up with within the parameters agreed."

Jane added, "I want to look at all the background checks as they're ran so I can begin interviewing sooner rather than later."

"Fine-" Lisbon began to say as Van Pelt interrupted. "Uh...boss?"

"Yeah?"

Van Pelt spoke to Lisbon but looked sideways at Jane simultaneously. "Uh...well actually there is a name on the list that we've come across before."

"Oh, who?"

"Walter Mashburn."

Lisbon's lips parted and she blushed as Jane's eyes quickly flicked towards her. Van Pelt kept her expression calm but knew she'd just hit a bull's-eye. He covered it a second later but she saw a hint of jealousy in his eyes and she inwardly smiled to herself.

"Walter?" Lisbon confirmed.

"Yeah," Van Pelt replied, "he bought quite a few pieces from her over the years so my guess is that he probably knew her pretty well. He might be able to give us some insights who might be behind this as he's known her longer than Jane."

"Ah...yeah," Lisbon replied slowly, looking at the ground. This was all she needed. Two exes back in the same day. She mused that it must be like buses. She turned her head quickly to Jane, needing verification that this wasn't part of the secrets he was holding onto in relation to the case. "Did you know Mashburn was a client of hers?"

The look of shock that greeted her gave her the answer before he spoke. "No, of course not. I would have went to him myself if I knew."

"Okay, Van Pelt, give him a call, see if he can give us any thoughts on who might have killed-"

"Shouldn't we check he has an alibi first, Lisbon?" Jane interjected, bite to his words. "He has been at the centre of two murder investigations before."

Lisbon tilted her head back. "You...you think Walter could have killed her?" she asked in astonishment.

"Well we're not all as experienced as you in seeing his softer side," he snapped before drawing the jealousy from his tone and replacing it with softer prudency. "To answer your question, no, I doubt he's capable of it but shouldn't we cover all angles just in case?"

She covered the triumph she felt in seeing Jane affected by Walter's reappearance into her life with a placid face. Now he knew a little of what she had felt at the thought of him with another woman. "Van, Pelt, call Mashburn, see if you can verify his alibi for the night in question. If it pans out see if he can add anything of interest."

"Shouldn't you call him?" Cho asked her.

"Me?"

"He's more likely to open up to you instead of Van Pelt," Cho commented. "Has a thing for you," he added, his face devoid of expression, "you know, sexual."

Lisbon's cheeks flamed again and she could feel Jane's gaze burning into her, reddening them further. Before she spoke he did.

"Cho's right. You should call him, Lisbon." A pause followed and he added, "Why? Is there a reason you don't want to? You two have a falling out?"

He was pushing her buttons and any reasoning that Jane wasn't aware of her intimate encounter with Mashburn was dashed instantly. They had never discussed it when they were together but evidently he knew about her night with Walter. Unlike with Jane, she and Mashburn had left things amicable between them after their brief encounter in his hotel room.

She looked him straight in the eye. "Absolutely not. Fine. If that's what you really want I'll call him myself."

Before she took a step towards her office she hung on to his gaze for another moment, checking this was the route he really wanted her to go down and where it might lead her.

"Then what are you waiting for? Call him," he replied calmly, challenging her with his eyes.

* * *

_Lisbon glanced at the vial on the seat beside her as she drove to the hospital. Her heart hammered in her chest and she prayed that this wasn't some hideous plan of Red John's to humiliate her. She pushed his words to her to the back of her mind. Jane would understand. He would do exactly the same as she had done. He'd saved her before, killing a man who could have given him Red John's identity in order to do so. So perhaps she was more important to him than Red John. And if she doubted that he'd just told her that very thing before kissing her. Red John didn't know Jane as well as he thought he did. She knew him better. As she abandoned her vehicle at the front of the hospital she grabbed the container and rushed to Jane's floor. Her team were waiting in the corridor outside Jane's room sitting on plastic chairs. Cho was reading a book and Rigsby had his arm around Van Pelt's shoulders. When he saw her approach he removed it quickly. Like she cared what was going on between them at the moment._

_Van Pelt jumped up from her seat immediately. "Thank god, where have you been?"_

_Lisbon grasped the vial in her hand tighter and asked her, "How is he?"_

"_Holding in there at the minute. He was asking for you again twenty minutes ago. He's...he's pretty delirious, though. He began to shout at Rigsby, thought he was his father, I think. He's...he's not Jane anymore." Tears fell from the redhead's eyes but stopped a sob when she noticed the object in Lisbon's hand. "What's that?" she asked her boss, suspicion in her tone._

_Ignoring her question and sniffing her own tears away Lisbon looked into the room and saw the doctor and a nurse were in Jane's room. Van Pelt added, "They threw us out. They said they're trying to stabilise him. He's started to have some seizures and the doctor said him getting agitated by us being there isn't helping."_

_Lisbon closed her eyes briefly before nodding at Van Pelt. "Everything's going to be alright," she said firmly, needing to believe the words herself._

_As she opened the door Jane was lying in the bed and mumbling incoherently, his eyes closed tight. A nurse was checking his vitals and drip as the doctor wrote some notes on his chart. "Try this," Lisbon said, holding up the yellow liquid and gaining the medic's attention._

"_Agent Lisbon-"_

"_Lisbon!" Jane suddenly shouted clearly, his eyes still shut. "Lisbon," he repeated softly._

"_You need to inject this into him," she said, barely able to say the words as she took in Jane's appearance, his face sweat stained, his lips almost blue and his hair limp and lifeless. He opened his eyes but looked up at the ceiling, seemingly unaware of where he was. "Lisbon," he whispered again._

"_I'm here," she said immediately, rounding up to the side of the bed and taking his hand in one of hers, gripping it tightly but feeling no response in return. Eyes on the doctor again she held out the vial. "Please. Try this."_

_The doctor took it from her and eyed it warily. "I have to know what it is first, Teresa."_

_She ran her free hand over Jane's hair and whispered, "I don't know what it is and I can't tell you where I got it. But...please...it's his last chance."_

"_This is extremely irregular. I just can't-"_

"_I don't give a damn!" She dropped Jane's hand and pulled the gun from her holster, pointing it at the doctor. The nurse screamed, attracting the attention of her team outside. Van Pelt was the first in the room. "Boss! What the hell!"_

_Ignoring her Lisbon relaxed her breathing and said to the doctor in the calmest tone she could muster. "Try it. I'm begging you. One way or another, this is happening."_

_The doctor shook his head slowly and sighed. "Fine. You can put the gun down. I'll do it."_

_Lisbon swallowed hard and put her gun away, turning a deaf ear to her team members' questions as to what was happening and focusing on watching the doctor inject Jane with the fluid. She grabbed his hand again in both of hers and whispered, "It's going to be okay, Jane. You're going to be okay."_

_He turned his head towards her, frowning, and smiled. "Thank you for making me sometimes feel like a good man, Teresa," he whispered before closing his eyes again. _

_A lump in her throat she stroked his hair again. When she felt able to speak a few seconds later she asked the doctor, "If it works how long until we know?"_

_The doctor, showing remarkable resilience for a man who just had a gun pointed at him a moment ago replied, "Well if I had a clue what it was you just gave me I'd be able to answer your question."_

"_I'm...I'm sorry," Lisbon offered to the doctor and the nurse. "Feel free to press charges." _

_The doctor shrugged. "Well let's see if Mr Jane recovers first. If he doesn't then we'll need to press the matter further."_

_The doctor whispered something to the nurse and she began to flick some switches on the monitor Jane was attached to._

"_Doc?" Lisbon asked when the two medical staff communicated to each other silently, using hand gestures and nods._

"_Patience," the doctor replied, the word rolling off his tongue slowly, his eyes fixated to the monitor._

_A small smile began to creep across his face and the machine made a beeping sound. _

"_Doctor?" Van Pelt asked, coming closer to Lisbon. _

"_Blood pressure's stabilising," the doctor replied. After a second he added, "Heart rate's up too."_

"_Well that's good, right?" Rigsby muttered to Cho, earning him an eye roll in return. _

"_He's going to be okay?" Lisbon asked, tears falling down her face and grasping the cross at her neck._

_The doctor laughed softly, shaking his head. "Well, there will be tests I need to run to check on any internal issues the poison may have caused but it looks like you've just saved his life."_

* * *

**A/N: Yeah, I know, Jane is still acting like a stubborn idiot. I promise he won't for the entire story (but I admit for a large part of it he will so you may want to jump out now if you can't take much more of it) but better times ahead (in the past) now that he's been cured. And the reappearance of Walter Mashburn in the present to stir things up a little. Thanks again for all the wonderful support for this story. I'm genuinely blown away by the interest in this one. I guess a lot of you like an angry Jane!**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Thanks again to all you lovely people who are taking the time to read and review this one. I'll be away for a week or so soon so next update may be a little slow in coming. But this chapter is the lengthiest to date so hope you enjoy and makes up for that somewhat. And so pleased the majority of you like the addition of Mashburn, I'm looking forward to writing him for the time he'll be in this story. And a little more of a nicer Jane coming up (kind of) along with a revelation of his real interest in the case. **

* * *

Chapter 10 – New Beginnings

Lisbon sat at her desk and called Mashburn's office, leaving a message for him to call her in relation to a current case. Whilst on the phone with his secretary she found out that he had been in Europe brokering a deal on the night of Janet's murder and was relieved he wasn't going to be a murder suspect for a third time. The few hours following passed in relative peace and quiet until she saw Wainwright appear at her door.

"Just heading home, Lisbon, but wanted a word first."

"Sure, what's up?" she replied brightly, putting her pen down and clasping her hands in front of her on top of the desk.

"Wanted to check how Jane's settling in."

She shrugged. "Everything's fine. No problems so far."

"That's not what I heard. I was informed there was an altercation earlier between you two in the middle of the office in front of your people. I wouldn't call that _fine_."

She blushed in embarrassment, wishing she'd just come clean to her boss, shrugging again. "Yeah, well, that was a mistake obviously. Things got a little...heated between us. But we've talked since. I assure you it won't happen again."

Wainwright nodded slowly. "I hope not. You need anything from me to help smooth the waters?"

She suppressed a smile at his misplaced thinking that he could help make things better between her and Jane. "Nope, we're good but thanks," her tone a little too light. She knew he'd seen through the cheerful facade she was putting on when she saw his expression turn anxious.

"Okay, well let me know if I can do anything. Night, Lisbon."

* * *

As the team got to work on running background checks Jane became reacquainted with his couch. He held back a contented sigh as he eased himself back into the leather and looked at Elvis on the ceiling. He realised he wasn't totally successful in hiding his enjoyment of this part of being back when Van Pelt chipped in beside him, "See, I knew you must have missed us too."

He rolled his eyes, "I've missed my couch, I'll agree to that at most."

He closed his eyes to shield them from Van Pelt's less than subtle surreptitious smile as she tapped the keys on her computer keyboard, lulling him into a sleep.

* * *

_He opened his eyes, squinting as the bright sunlight came through the blinds in his hospital room. 'Not dead yet', the first three words that entered his head. He glanced at Lisbon, asleep on a chair at his side, her hair covering one of her cheeks. She looked exhausted, dark circles underneath her eyes. A beeping sound beside him drew his attention to the monitor he was attached to and he frowned, reading his vitals. Blood pressure looked normal, pulse rate looked better too. He felt weak as hell and had a splitting headache but he felt almost human and in better control of his mental faculties. He turned to Lisbon again, moving slightly on the bed as he did so. Upon hearing the creak she opened her eyes._

"_At last, you're awake. How are you feeling?" she smiled with warmth and affection in her tone, mixed in with tiredness._

_He went to speak but the words caught in his dry throat. She immediately got up and placed a glass of water to his mouth, helping him to sit up to take a sip. "Just small sips, don't gulp it."_

_His throat moistened he nodded and she placed the glass back on the table beside him. "What's going on?" he frowned, his voice hoarse as he lay back on his pillow._

_She grinned, "You're going to be okay, Jane. You're going to be fine."_

_He attempted to take the words in but his brain was obviously still not functioning at its full capacity. "But...how?" he finally said._

_He saw her swallow hard and she shook her head before words came spilling out of her mouth. "A cure was found. You're going to be weak for a few days, maybe a week, headaches, dizzy spells, especially if you try to do too much too soon. So you have to take it easy, Jane. No stress either. So none of your foolish games or tricks to get out of here. That's an order. You'll be on a drug regimen for a couple of weeks to get your vitals and cell levels back up to what they should be and you'll need to careful about what you eat for a while but-" She took breath to stop herself crying, "but the important thing is that you're going to be fine. You're going to live."_

_He continued to frown at her, unable to find the words to reply and wondered for a split second if this was a hallucination. He was vaguely aware he had one about his father the last time he was awake._

"_Jane?" she urged when he didn't respond._

"_Is this real?" he asked softly._

_She grinned and laughed. "Yes, it's real." She sat beside him on the bed and took his hand in hers, squeezing it. "See, real?"_

_He blinked rapidly for a second, looking down at their hands. He ran his thumb slowly over her knuckles and felt the softness of her skin. He breathed in, inhaling her unmistakeable scent. He finally looked her in the face, "I'm really going to be okay?" he asked, his voice breaking._

"_Yeah, you are," she nodded. _

"_But how?" he persevered. "They were able to work out a cure?"_

_A moment's hesitation. "The doctor injected you with it a few hours ago. It stabilised you pretty quickly."_

_She stared into his blue green eyes, seeing hope in them at last, a spark of life once again. She thought about Red John's words, wondering if he might have been correct. Would she see the warmth she saw now in them change to anger, hurt, hatred even if she told him the truth? Would the stress of hearing how he was cured put back his recovery? Would he refuse the treatments he had to continue with to get back to full strength? Could she even lie to him effectively?_

"_What's wrong?" he asked, seeing the worry in her expression. "Afraid I'm going to be a bad patient over the next few days?"_

_She laughed to cut the tension, "I'm not afraid of that. I already know you're going to be a bad patient."_

"_Then?"_

"_Jane, the cure-"_

"_I don't care."_

"_What?"_

"_Well I know by your face that you've done something to find it for me. Something perhaps not entirely legal. The doctor had given up hope. So had I to be truthful. But...but you never stopped looking, did you?" he asked in wonderment. _

_He laughed softly, shaking his head. "I'm guessing you pointing a gun at someone probably came into play somewhere along the line. I'm assuming you were able to get your hands on some experimental drug from one of the large pharmaceuticals or something like that. I don't care what you did to get it. Probably best I don't know in case I'm called to testify against you in court."_

_He stopped talking for a second and frowned, "I won't have to do that, will I?"_

_She had placated the doctor and the nurse earlier into not filing charges against her. She shook her head, unable to fully get her thoughts in order but briefly wondering if this was some kind of divine intervention that was telling her not to tell him the truth. _

_He smiled. "Good. I'm just thankful that you didn't give up. Thank you, Teresa. Thank you for saving my life."_

* * *

He woke to the once familiar sound of Rigsby and Cho debating the finer points of hot dog toppings as Van Pelt continued to work at her computer, choosing the wiser option to tune them out. He sat up, stretching his shoulders as he had done on many occasions, gaining her attention. "Good sleep?"

"Passable," he replied, yawning, glancing at his watch. It was in fact the best sleep he'd had in months even if it was only for a couple of hours. "You got something for me to look at?"

Van Pelt gestured with her head to the stack of papers on her desk as she continued working. "Should be enough to get you started."

"Thanks," he replied, getting up and flicking through them.

"You're not going to leave things with Lisbon like this, are you?" she asked as he stood at her side, papers in his hand.

"Do me a favour and stop interfering, Van Pelt. You think I didn't see through your little ruse earlier? You really think Mashburn showing up is going to make me act like some kind of jealous fool? If Lisbon wants to get involved with him then that's her business. Nothing to do with me and I'm not about to get in the middle of it."

The sharpness in his retort made her smile slightly. "Yeah, you really don't sound jealous at all," she replied, sarcasm in her tone.

Ignoring the remark he replied, "Like Lisbon said we're going to have to work together on this case. We don't have to be best friends for us to do that effectively. So quit the matchmaking. I suggest you concentrate on your own wedding and relationship and not ours."

She glanced up at him and gave him a withering look. "You realise by acting like you have done since you've been back you're being petty not to mention an idiot, right?"

"That's your opinion."

"No, that's the truth," she replied, flicking her hair and turning back to her screen.

The slight kerfuffle had attracted the attention of Rigsby and Cho. "Everything okay?" Rigsby ventured, looking between Jane and his fiancée.

"Yeah, we're good." She glanced at Jane. "Right?"

He nodded, turning to Rigsby. "Yeah, we're fine. No need for you to get on your white horse and come to her rescue. She's more than capable of fighting her own corner. We were just having a frank exchange of views."

"He's right, Wayne. Go back to work."

As Rigsby went back to his desk and Jane was about to sit back down on his couch he noticed Wainwright leave Lisbon's office, his lips stuck in a thin line, his posture tense. Without thinking he walked over to her door and opened it, sticking his head in, "Everything okay with Wainwright?"

She was shocked by his sudden casualness and detected a note of concern in his tone. She took in his slightly ruffled hair, ascertaining that he'd just woken from a nap. Maybe he needed to be fully awake to be testy and hostile with her.

She shrugged, "Yeah, he heard about our little...exchange earlier. I told him it wouldn't happen again."

"Okay. You talked to Mashburn yet?"

Drawing her eyes back to the paper in front of her to hide her blush, "Left a message with his secretary for him to call but he has an alibi for the night in question."

Jane clicked his tongue. "Well I'm sure you're happy about that at least."

She murmured under her breath as she wrote on the paper, "Yeah, good to know that both of us haven't slept with murderers, huh?"

He smiled faintly hovering at the door for a second. As he moved from it on an impulse he moved back again, her head still in her paperwork. "Uh...just wanted to say that I do appreciate the team's help with this case."

Taken off guard she gaped in surprise. "Okay...it's...it's no problem, Jane." Her tone professional she asked, "Anything with the background checks so far?"

"Just started to go through them but should be ready for some interviews in the morning."

"Sounds good, I'm going to go home soon. It's been a long day."

"Yeah, it has that," he replied softly, looking off to the side.

"Jane, you know that I know there's more to this case then what you've told me."

He shrugged slightly. "Was there a question attached to that statement?"

She puffed out a breath. "You _can_ still trust me despite what you might think. Whatever is going on here you can tell me. I just...I just want to help."

He licked his lips nervously. "I'll see you in the morning, Lisbon."

He bit his bottom lip as their eyes locked on each other before he turned on his heels and left.

She leaned back in her chair and shook her head. That man certainly knew how to imbalance her emotions. She was ready to kill him one moment to almost feeling sorry for him the next. Almost.

* * *

"_Hey you," Jane smiled as she entered the hospital room._

"_Hello, you look better," she replied. "You've got some colour in your face at least."_

_She placed a cup of herbal tea on the tray in front of him along with a brown paper bag. "A blueberry muffin?!" he exclaimed before opening the bag and frowning at her._

_She grinned, "Just blueberries for now. No refined sugar or caffeine just yet."_

_He sighed, plopping one of the berries into his mouth, "Mmm," he murmured unenthusiastically as he chewed, before shaking his head. "You're enjoying this diet regimen a little too much, Lisbon. And I've noticed you won't allow Rigsby to visit alone. You're afraid of me hypnotising him into bringing me a cheeseburger, aren't you?" he teased, his eyes twinkling._

"_Yeah, like you'd be capable of hypnosis in your condition," she countered._

"_You would be surprised what I'm capable of in my weakened state, my dear," he replied softly, his eyebrows raised._

_Blushing she looked away, "Well, do as your told and you'll be out of here in a few days."_

_A moment passed in silence as she looked out the window. "Look at me," he said softly, reaching out to take her hand. "Please?"_

_She drew her eyes to him, panic making her heart rate increase. She knew he must have felt her pulse rate do the same. In the day since he'd come round they hadn't talked about the kiss between them. Instead they had relaxed into familiar territory of her bossing him about during his recovery. _

"_I don't regret it, Teresa. I'm not embarrassed I said what I did. I meant it. Every word."_

_She swallowed hard, "Jane...you're all hyped up on adrenalin or something. You're not ready to make that kind of statement."_

_He thought for a second. "Are you sure it's not you that's not ready to hear it?"_

_She shrugged, her mind taking her into dangerous territory, "I...I'm not sure," she said honestly. "We work well as friends, why change that?"_

"_Because I don't want to just be your friend anymore. And I don't think you want to be just mine either."_

_She asked the question she was up to now afraid to ask. "What about Red John?"_

_He nodded, obviously expecting her to ask, "I still want to catch him. I still want my revenge. But...but I'm not willing to stay stuck in this half life just to pursue him any longer at the cost of everything else I could have. I want to move on from that. With you." He shook his head and sighed. "I'm not saying it's going to be easy. And...if we were to start something and he were to find out it would increase the risk to your life-"_

"_I'm not concerned about that," she interjected._

_Smiling, "I know you're not but I am. Until he's caught I can't offer you everything you deserve. We would have to keep it as quiet as we could." Looking down he sighed loudly. "When I think about it some more I'm really not offering you much." _

_He raised his head and stared back at her, intensifying his gaze, "But I promise that if we do take this step then whatever time we do spend together I'll make sure it's fun, romantic, whatever you want. I'll give you one hundred percent of me when I'm with you."_

"_Jane, I-"_

"_Don't answer me now. Think about it." He laughed softly. "Despite my earlier bravado I'm really not in any state to woo you at present."_

"_Woo me?" she smiled, raising an eyebrow. "Who says that nowadays?"_

_He grinned back. "Give me a break, Lisbon. I'm a little out of practice at this kind of thing."_

* * *

As she packed up some papers to read through when she got home and turned off her desk light she exited her office, glancing at the brown leather couch on her way. It was empty as it had been for a year but she smiled as she saw the unmistakeable indentation of Jane's body. As she dropped her coffee cup in the sink she saw his turquoise teacup on the drainer. She lifted it, running her fingers around the rim and sighed, smiling.

"If you like it that much I can buy you a set."

The voice interrupted her and she almost dropped it. Exhaling in relief she put it back on the drainer carefully and turned around.

"Walter. I expected you to call, not show up," she said, frowning slightly.

"Just doing my civic duty in answering the call of Law Enforcement. Of course, when it's my favourite CBI Agent that needs my help then that may have hastened my involvement," he grinned.

She smiled and rolled her eyes. "How have you been, Walter?"

"All the better for seeing you, Teresa," he responded, his eyes taking in her frame. "Although you do look a little weary. And it looks like you haven't had time to eat I suspect. Come on; if we're going to talk then let's do so over some food."

"Walter-" she warned.

He held his hands up. "I promise! No ulterior motives!" More seriously he asked, "This is about Janet Walker, correct?"

"Yeah, how did you know-?"

"It was in the press and I was a good client of hers. And you already checked I had an alibi on the night of her murder." He smiled again. "At least this time I'm not a suspect. That was getting a little old, I have to say."

He came a step closer. "I knew her for a while. I'll help any way I can. But who's to say we can't have a little catch up at the same time."

"Fine. But nowhere fancy to eat." She gestured to her work clothes. "I'm not exactly dressed for fine dining."

"Well you could come to my place-"

"Stop," she laughed. "Behave yourself."

* * *

Jane settled into his motel room and made himself a cup of tea. He sat on the edge of the bed and sighed loudly. It had been a hell of a day. It had been a hell of a year truth be told. He put the cup down and glanced at the file box he'd just brought from his car. He lifted the lid and pulled out the folder from the top. Janet Walker was written on the front in his own handwriting. Opening it he flicked through his handwritten notes on her, observations before he'd met her and conversations he'd had since he'd introduced himself. He'd listed the names of all those she had mentioned to him while conversing on one page along with those he had met himself while in her company. Out of his inside pocket he took out a copy of her client list and began to cross check the names against each other, making notes against those that matched.

He had a list of a couple of hundred people. He was certain one of them was Red John.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Thank you all for your patience. I'm back with an update on this one at long last. Sincerely hope you enjoy it!**

* * *

Chapter 11 - Lies

"You know, Teresa, I should be mad at you." Walter looked across the table at Lisbon before popping a piece of steak in his mouth.

Lisbon raised a questioning eyebrow in return as she lifted a forkful of fish to her lips. "Oh, is that so? How do you figure?"

He smiled wolfishly. "Well after our last...em...rendezvous-"

"You went to Europe."

"And I called you when I returned. Repeatedly. All to no avail. You never called me back."

"So, your pride's hurt, huh? That I didn't run after you like some of the others? C'mon, Walter, we both know what that was between us-"

"The best sex you ever had?" he grinned.

Laughing, "Walter, it was obvious it was never going to lead anywhere. Besides anything else we lead vastly different lives."

"Oh, I see now how it is. Teresa, I do believe you're a snob."

"Excuse me?" she spluttered, choking on some water.

He leaned back in his chair, regarding her with amusement. "You, Teresa Lisbon, are a snob. You can't picture a future between us because I have money and you do not. It's a blatant case of reverse snobbery. You really should be ashamed of yourself."

"Yeah, whatever," Lisbon replied, rolling her eyes, smiling back. Becoming serious again she added, "Now, can we talk about Janet Walker? How well did you know her?"

"Depends on what you mean, I suppose. I was a good client of hers, picked up quite a few pieces from her gallery from time to time over the last four years or so. I wouldn't say I knew her that well personally but-"

He stopped, biting his bottom lip in thought.

"But what?"

He shrugged. "But I don't suppose there were many who did. She wasn't exactly warm and fuzzy, professional, you know."

He smirked at her, a suggestive twinkle in his eyes. "Not your kind of professional where you know deep down lies a heart of gold despite your best intentions of trying not to let it show to the world. Cold I guess you'd call her. I mean she knew how to play the game, be charming when she had to be if it meant a sale especially when faced with a prosperous client like myself but...for the people that worked for her? I'd imagine that was a different story."

The more Mashburn talked about her the more confused Lisbon became. She couldn't imagine Jane becoming entangled romantically with someone like that. Or perhaps that was just wishful thinking on her part. He'd certainly been attracted to Erica Flynn who seemed to have a lot of similar qualities to Janet Walker.

"What's the matter? You don't believe me?"

His words drew her out of her thoughts and she shrugged. "No...I...I do," she stuttered.

"You're wondering why it appeared Patrick Jane was having an affair with her," he grinned, assurance in his tone.

Lisbon visibly blanched. "How did you know? I mean...what makes you think that?"

He leaned in across the table, clasping his hands together. "I'm a businessman, Teresa. I like to research my opponent-"

"So now I'm your opponent?!" she asked incredulously.

He held his hands up to placate her. "No. Well, at least I hoped you weren't going to be. Now I've talked to you I'm pleased I was correct. But I knew it must have been important for you to call me personally to discuss Janet. Also, the great CBI handling the murder of a part owner in an art gallery? Hardly groundbreaking compared to some of your cases. No political connections I'm aware of at least. So...before meeting you this evening I did a little delving of my own into the circumstances surrounding Janet's murder. I found out that Patrick Jane was there at the scene and called it in. She was at her home so...ergo some kind of personal relationship was ongoing between them. Your look when I made that little assumption seemed to confirm an affair of some sort." He sat back in his chair, a self satisfied smile on his face.

Lisbon shook her head, silently seething. There was more similarity between Mashburn and Jane than probably either one of them would care to admit. The fact that this meant she seemed to be attracted to arrogant clever bastards did not escape her either.

"C'mon, Teresa, don't be mad. I didn't know if I was walking into some sort of ambush. So...what's the real deal here? Do you think Jane did it? You trying to cover it up for him if he did?"

"He didn't do it," she replied emphatically.

He nodded seriously. "Okay. But he really admitted to having an affair with her?"

"Walter, that's none of your business. I'm the one supposed to be asking the questions, not you."

"I'm just curious because..."

"Because you're as nosey as Jane," she finished for him.

He laughed. "No. Because I just can't see it being true."

"You just said that you thought they were having an affair. Now you don't see it. Which is it?" she barked, irritation in her tone and a headache forming.

"I just said that it _appeared_ that they were having an affair. I didn't actually expect for you to confirm that they were."

"I haven't," she said, crossing her arms.

"As good as," he immediately replied.

She exhaled, relaxing her posture and looked off to the side, worn out by mentally duelling all day long. "Yeah, he left me in no doubt that they had a romantic relationship."

"Have you ever considered that he might have been lying about it?"

"Why would he do that?" she frowned.

"Look, I don't want you to get angry again by my curiosity but...well I found out that he hasn't been working at the CBI for the past year."

She rolled her eyes. "If your researchers ever want some good honest detective work let me know. They seem to be pretty damn good at it. Yes, he left over a year ago, what of it?"

"Why did he leave?" he asked softly.

She thought of lying to him but she was past caring what anyone thought at this instant. "We...we had a falling out," she replied quietly.

"I thought it must have been something like that. Red John's still out there, right? I couldn't imagine him leaving before he caught him unless there was a very good reason. Want to talk about it? About what happened between you? Last time I saw you both you were practically joined at the hip."

She shook her head vehemently, taking a breath to stop her emotions tipping over. "No. It was...it was pretty nasty. He still..." She sighed loudly, gaining control. "Let's just say we're not exactly on good terms even though he's back working at the CBI again."

"That must be difficult for you," he said, placing his hand on top of hers and stroking it gently.

She closed her eyes briefly and shook her head before pulling her hand away. "Seriously Walter? You're trying to take advantage of the situation?"

He shrugged slightly. "You can't blame a man for trying, can you?" he grinned.

His clumsy come on actually made her feel a little better and she laughed softly. "You really think he'd lie about something like that? He said she was important to him."

"I don't know him as well as you do obviously but I'm pretty sure she's not his type."

"How would you know what his type was?"

He raised an eyebrow and looked directly into her eyes. "Because I think we both have similar tastes where women are concerned. Or at least where women who matter are concerned. She certainly wasn't one that made me stop and pause for thought. Even less so for him I imagine considering his past. So...unless there's some ulterior motive as to why he slept with her then I can't see why he would get involved with her."

* * *

_The doctor stopped Lisbon as she strolled down the corridor. Three days ago Jane had been saved and she had seen him grow stronger each day. And by the look on the doctor's face it appeared he was beginning to feel just like his old self. Before he spoke she asked, "Okay, what did he do?"_

"_To coin one of your own rather colourful phrases, Teresa, he's a pain in the ass," came the harassed reply._

_She suppressed a giggle and nodded seriously. _

"_He presses that buzzer of his constantly. 'When can I get tea? Some proper food? Do we not have better TV channels?' The nurses have told him he's in hospital and not the Sheraton Grande but-"_

"_I'll talk to him," she interjected. "Any idea of when he can be released?"_

"_I wanted to talk to you about that. I get the feeling he's not entirely being truthful with me regarding his living situation."_

* * *

_Lisbon marched to his room and found the bed empty. "Oh god no," she sighed, shaking her head. If he had done a disappearing act she was going to kill him. Once he got better that was. The adjoining bathroom door opened a second later and he walked in slowly in a pair of navy pyjamas. He dazzled her with a smile. "At last! My favourite visitor!" As he got back into bed he smiled, "You thought I'd scarpered for a moment, didn't you?"_

"_No, of course not!" _

"_High voice," he murmured under his breath but loud enough for her to hear it, smirking as he pulled the sheets over him, exhaling loudly when he finished, a little breathless from even that little activity. _

_She saw him struggle to catch a breath and asked softly, walking a step closer, "How are you feeling?"_

"_I'll be better when I get out of here. I've talked to the doctor, should be able to swing it in a couple of days."_

_She nodded sympathetically. "Well that's good news. I'm surprised you're being released so quickly considering you can still hardly take four steps before you're out of breath."_

"_Oh, I'll be fine once I get out in the fresh air again. And I can do at least ten steps. That's what I need, not to be cooped up in here."_

"_Mmm," she nodded._

_He could see that she knew something he didn't know she knew and he smiled nervously. Deciding the best course of action was to perhaps change the subject he asked, "So, how are things at the CBI? Lost without my great powers of deduction?" he grinned._

_Any hope that he'd read the situation incorrectly was swiftly dashed with her next words as she began to yell at him. _

"_How could you tell the doctor that you live in a detached house with plenty of friends around to look after you while you convalesce?! Goddammit Jane, don't you want to get well at all!"_

_He sunk back into the pillows, caught out. "Well Lisbon, it wasn't entirely far from the truth. I do own a detached house-"_

"_Yeah, in Malibu. Hours away from Sacramento. And it's hardly a place where you'd go to convalesce. There's hardly a stick of furniture in it! And, tell me, who are these friends who are going to call in there to make you...what was it you told the doctor again?...Oh yeah I remember now, your friend Kimball was going to call in with the best chicken soup you've ever tasted! Because the team and I live in Sacramento, we're hardly close by. And since when does Cho make soup?!"_

"_Are you mad because I didn't suggest you were the soup maker supreme?" he grinned._

_She shook her head and looked to the ceiling, trying to calm down. More controlled she pulled a chair up beside him. "Jane, you're not well enough to live by yourself yet. You know that. That motel you stay at has twenty steps at least to your room. And it doesn't even have a proper kitchen. And the CBI attic is unacceptable before you even think of mentioning it. It won't be long until you feel a lot better and will be able to fend for yourself. Stop trying to rush the process."_

_He nodded and sighed. "I know but-"_

"_You're bored, I get it."_

_He looked at her seriously. "It's not just that. I feel like I've been given a new start. I just want to start living again. It's been so long since I've lived anything close to a normal life. And, while I'm in this bed surrounded by all this equipment and the smell of antiseptic I...I feel like I'm wasting time. I did mean what I said earlier. I'm sure my recovery will be quicker out of this hospital bed."_

"_Just have some patience, okay? You'll be out of here soon."_

_He began to speak before stopping suddenly._

"_What is it? Something you need?" she asked._

"_Well...the doctor would release me if I had someone to keep an eye on me. Someone say...someone say with a ground floor apartment." He chanced a charming smile._

_She gaped in surprise. "Um-"_

"_And who better to make sure I kept to my diet and take things easy than you. I could ask Rigsby but I'd run circles around him and you know it. Wouldn't be able to help myself."_

_She just about got the power of speech back. "Um...well what about Cho?"_

"_Cho! Think I'd rather stay in hospital. It'd be like joining the military. Besides, he wouldn't go for it."_

_She nodded, knowing he was correct but allowed herself a little fantasy where Cho made Jane do fifty push ups every morning._

"_You're a cruel woman, Teresa Lisbon," he smiled, reading her thoughts. More earnestness in his tone he added, "I'll behave myself. I promise. And it'll only be for a few days, week at most." _

_Exhaling, "Okay then but don't make promises you can't keep where your behaviour is concerned."_

_He grinned, a glimmer of seductiveness in his eyes, "I promise I'll behave myself as long as you behave yourself, Teresa."_


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12 – Settling In &amp; Secrecy

"_Hey boss," Van Pelt said as she met Lisbon in the hospital corridor. "Just heading back to the office. Dropped off some puzzles for Jane while he's staying with you. I figure it'll give you a few hours of peace and quiet where you won't have to worry about him."_

"_Thanks, Grace," Lisbon smiled as she went to go past her._

_Before she got too far Van Pelt touched her arm. "Um...boss?" She nibbled her lower lip and her eyes darted left then right._

"_What is it?" Lisbon replied, putting on a cheery disposition but knowing only too well what this was about._

"_I know we haven't had much time to talk over the last few days but...the cure...where did you get it?"_

_Lisbon blinked rapidly but said nothing for a moment._

_It was enough for Van Pelt to get confirmation. "_He _gave it to you? Red John!" she whispered._

_Lisbon nodded mutely._

_Van Pelt was flabbergasted for a moment. "Jane doesn't know obviously. He hasn't mentioned it at all. Seems more concerned with teasing me about Rigsby."_

_Lisbon nodded again. "No, he doesn't know. Not yet. But...I will tell him. I just want to get him back on his feet first. You won't say anything?"_

_Van Pelt shook her head. "No, of course not. Rigsby and Cho...well they're asking questions about it too."_

"_Okay, I'll talk to them about it. Can you ask them to keep quiet until then? Just until he's better to take in the news."_

"_Sure. But what happened? Did you meet him? Do you know who he is?"_

_Lisbon shook her head and told her about her encounter at the cemetery, sticking to the facts of how she got her hands on the cure and leaving out the parts where he had taunted her about Jane's feelings towards her._

"_Where did he get it?"_

"_He wouldn't say. You've been at the office more than I have over the past few days. Has anything come across the wire? Any suspicious deaths that could be related?"_

_Van Pelt shook her head. "No but I'm going back there now and I'll check again, let you know."_

"_Thanks, Grace and...thanks for your help."_

"_I'm just glad it all worked out," the redhead smiled as she took her leave._

_Alone in the corridor again Lisbon muttered under her breath, "I hope you're right," as a cold shiver ran down her spine._

* * *

_She talked to Rigsby and Cho later that day. Rigsby looked nervous into voicing his opinion but she noticed the anxiety etched all over his face. "I will tell him, Wayne," she emphasised again. _

"_Okay, boss...but you know what Jane's like. He hates being lied to. Has no problem if he's the one doing the lying but it's a different story the other way round. And what if he blatantly asks the question? He'll know I know something and wheedle it out of me."_

"_I don't think he'll ask you directly. If he does then tell him to talk to me and I'll deal with it. I'll tell him as soon as he's ready to hear it. I don't want his recovery put back before then."_

_Cho stared at her, his arms crossed over his chest. _

"_Cho, you okay with this?" she asked, a little nervousness to her tone at her lead agent._

"_You're making a mistake. Bad enough you went to Red John for him even if it did save his life. Worse if you keep this from him now."_

"_It's only for a little while-"_

"_It better be," Cho replied quickly. "Or he might never trust you again. Or us."_

* * *

As Lisbon rode the elevator to her office floor she reflected on the evening before. Having dinner with Walter had been a nice way to end a pretty turbulent day. And illuminating if there was any truth to his theory about Jane's involvement with Janet Walker. Or perhaps that should be _lack _of involvement. She had ruminated on the possibility after she'd gone home, replayed the conversation she'd had with Jane when she first saw him in the interrogation room in San Francisco. When he'd taunted her to confirm if they were lovers. '_When the occasion arose'_ he had replied. She'd pounded the pillow behind her with her fist when she thought of those words as her temper rose, unable to sleep. Now she thought about it some more, the statement was clearly ambiguous and she should have seen that at the time.

She had woken up with the intention of dragging him into her office to confirm it one way or another. To beat him into telling her what the hell had been going on with this woman if she had to. To call him out on _his_ lie. _If_ it was a lie. But as she'd driven to work she had decided to play the long game instead. At the moment the way things stood between them she was uncertain if he would simply clam up on the matter or misdirect her entirely. It was sometimes better to keep your cards hidden. She smiled lightly at the irony. Perhaps Patrick Jane had taught her a few tricks over the years.

As she reached her office she found a huge display of yellow roses adorning a side table. She rolled her eyes and blushed instantly, plucking the card from its holder but not really having to read it to know who they were from.

_Teresa, yellow roses are meant to signify friendship. Or a promise of a new beginning. I know which I'd rather but I'll settle for the former if I really have to._

_Keep Saturday night free. I promise you won't regret it. _

_WM._

Over dinner the night before Walter had flirted with her outrageously and she had found herself liking the attention. She was used to being so in control, so independent her whole life she had never let her guard down with anyone, especially men she dated. Even when she had spent the night with Walter a couple of years before she had kept to that rule, passionate between the sheets certainly but no thoughts in her head to let him worm his way into her heart. Of course, even though she would have denied it at the time, the space there was already occupied by someone else who had moved in unbidden.

Then she and Jane had started up their relationship/love affair/whatever the hell it was. He'd continued to make her drop her guard day by day, a process he'd started from the first time they'd met. He'd shared intimacies of his own life, often whispered in darkness under cover and she had done the same. It always seemed easier that way for both of them to open up, safer cocooned together under soft sheets with just the moonlight to illuminate their naked skin, fingertips brushing over each other's arms and backs as they relived painful memories, soft kisses and gentle caresses to comfort.

And so she'd grown accustomed to the affection, the touches, and the closeness with another person. She'd never felt anything like it in her life and it terrified her and delighted her in equal measure. When he left she had felt adrift and abandoned, suddenly starved of what she had just got used to. She cried every night for the first week. Then she'd gotten angry. With Jane. With herself. With Red John. Like a cycle she turned her anger to each in turn at least ten times a day until she couldn't feel it any longer, exhaustion filling its place instead. That went on until the end of week two. After that she had gotten back into her routine again. Running in the morning. Working every case she could get her hands on. Rebuilding her team into a cohesive unit again without Jane while rebuilding her own walls at the same time.

But she still missed the affection and sharing a meal with Walter had allowed her to feel that again, just a little. To be in the company of a man she knew and was comfortable with, who smiled when he talked to her, who was interested in what she had to say. She'd even flirted back on a few occasions although she had made it clear that there was no hope of anything more than that happening between them again. He hadn't seemed to mind that that was the case and she had relaxed in his company even more with that knowledge. In some ways it made her think of dinners with Jane before they'd become lovers. Some fun, some flirting and some laughs as they discussed a current case. It was only when she got home that she had cried, a part of her wishing she had been to dinner with Jane instead and that she could turn the clock back and change the decision she made for their friendship to turn romantic. Maybe then they could have salvaged something from this whole mess. She put the card in the bin and sighed loudly, sitting at her desk and opening a file in front of her. She stiffened her shoulders, ifs and maybes weren't going to change things now and time didn't run backwards.

* * *

_Rigsby and Cho came to help move Jane's clothes from his Motel to her condo and Lisbon put his suits in her spare room wardrobe. It was strangely intimate doing so and she slammed the door shut as her pulse raced. She had already counted the steps from her living room to the bedroom. Sixteen. Good enough even if he had to stop once on the way to catch his breath. Bathroom was upstairs too so at least he wouldn't have to make the journey during the night. The night before he was released she had cleaned the place for six hours straight in a frenzy to both satisfy Jane's penchant for neatness and ensure there was no chance of him catching a cold due to dust mites. And to stop thinking about when she would tell him the truth about his miraculous cure. She'd stocked up on healthy food and a supply of herbal tea. As she had a cup at two am she looked around her living room. She tilted her head. At least his visit had one advantage; it had never been cleaner or tidier. As she settled back on the couch she thought about telling him about what Red John did. Of course she didn't exactly know what he had done to acquire the cure. Van Pelt's investigations into any possible links had drawn a blank so far. But Cho was right. She should tell him what she knew and what she did sooner rather than later. Once he was back to full health she resolved to do just that. _

* * *

"_Ah, my warden arrives to release me at last!" Jane beamed as Lisbon shuffled into the hospital room. He was dressed in his three piece suit minus his jacket that was lying over the bed and she couldn't help but smile seeing him look like his old self again. He was still pale and she could tell he was a little breathless as he was packing a bag but it was a hell of a lot better than what she'd witnessed over the past week._

"_Yeah, well just remember you're still on parole," she deadpanned, coming over to shove some toiletries into his wash bag. "You'll be back here if you don't do as you're told."_

"_You really can't wait to begin looking after me, can you, Lisbon?" he grinned._

_Making sure not to look at him but busying herself with checking the bathroom she replied, "I think the hospital staff have suffered enough. Now it's my time to make _you _suffer. I have a lot of years to make up for." _

_She glanced at him with a smile at the end of the sentence and he narrowed his eyes at her. "Stop pretending that you're looking forward to bossing me about. We both know you'll be fussing over me in no time."_

"_Yeah, in your dreams," she shot back._

* * *

_As she got him home he waved off her help up to walk up her drive and made his way over to her couch, exhaling a loud sigh as he sat down. "I've never smoked a day in my life and I feel like I'm a sixty a day man," he said, puffing out a breath to help him breathe easier. _

_As she went to the adjoining kitchen to make him tea he called to her, "So, been doing a little spring cleaning in anticipation of us being roommates? Now I know how much you care, deny it all you like."_

_She could imagine the smile as he said the words. _

_Ignoring his remark she pushed the mug into his hand and glared at him. He grinned in return. Picking up the remote control he turned the TV on and toed off his shoes, putting his feet up on the couch. He sipped the tea and closed his eyes, sighing happily as he wiggled his toes. _

"_So why is being here any different to the hospital? You're doing exactly the same here as you would do there. Lying about and watching TV," she asked as she stood in front of her coffee table that sat in front of the couch._

_He smiled softly at her and spoke gently. "Because _you_ don't live at the hospital."_

_He immediately went back to channel hopping but with a slight smirk on his lips as her face flamed, her mouth open. They hadn't repeated the kiss or spoken about his declaration of moving their relationship forward over the past couple of days but it had just sounded like his feelings on the matter hadn't changed. _

_She eventually stammered, "I'm going back to the office for a couple of hours but I'll be home as early as I can to make us dinner."_

_Still focussed on the TV he grinned, "Okay. You know you'll make someone a great housewife one day, Lisbon. This will be great training for you, attending to my needs."_

_She picked up a cushion from the chair beside her and threw it at him in response. "When I'm gone, no snooping around my place."_

_He moved the cushion behind his back and looked at her with indignation. "Of course not! This is your home, Lisbon, your sanctuary. I understand that completely." He paused and added, smiling, "Besides, I don't have to snoop to know your secrets, I know them all already," he winked, his eyes flicking back to the screen._

_She turned her back to him as her smile dropped. For once in his life Patrick Jane was wrong._

* * *

**A/N: This turned into a bit of a setting up chapter but there will be plenty of grumpy, happy, jealous and sweet Jane (obviously not all in the same timeline!) next chapter. And some fun both past and present. Hope you enjoyed this one nonetheless. Thanks.**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Thanks again to all the new followers this story has received lately even if I haven't updated it recently as I've been busy with a heavy plotline in Missing as it enters its final few chapters and writing my more fluffy two shot instead. I really do appreciate your wonderful support. This chapter is dedicated to Brooklyn79, who (kind of) guilt tripped me into providing an update on this one since it's her birthday today. Many happy returns, my dear! And for those waiting on a Destinies update, it is my next priority.**

* * *

Chapter 13 - Moving Forward

Jane entered Lisbon's office the following morning, his eyes immediately drawn to the yellow roses that adorned it. He was comforted she wasn't present to witness the thunderous look on his face that accompanied the sighting. He shook his head briefly, berating himself for allowing his jealousy to infiltrate into his facial expressions. It didn't take a mentalist to know where those had come from. He saw her approach her office with a mug of coffee in her hand and he turned his head away from them and to her as she came in the door, making his expression appear relaxed. He watched her body language, still tense, her lips pursed in a tight line. A wave of relief involuntarily washed over him that she hadn't slept with Mashburn. Again. Or at least not yet. The billionaire was obviously in pursuit of her once more though, that much was certain. He watched her look briefly at the flowers behind him before licking her lips and casting her gaze to the top of her desk as she sat behind it.

"Morning Jane, what can I do for you?" she asked, averting her eyes and pulling a piece of paper in front of her. She was doing her best to act professional but her posture was screaming out that she was putting on an act to that affect.

"I've went through the background checks Van Pelt's ran already. I'm ready to start interviewing. Those with any history of physical violence go to the top of the list."

"Sounds good, get them to come in and we'll make a start."

"I'd rather go visit some of the more likely candidates in their home environments."

She nodded, "Okay, makes it easier for you to get a read off them, I understand," she replied. "Give me ten minutes and I'll-"

He interrupted before she finished her sentence. "I thought I might take Cho. Or Rigsby. Whoever's got more time on their hands. I'm sure you have more pressing matters here than be stuck in a car most of the day. Most likely they'll be wild goose chases. Hardly likely to strike lucky right out of the gate, am I?"

He knew the words would wound her but he wasn't ready to spend a day alone with her yet. Frankly, he was surprised she didn't feel the same after how he'd treated her since he'd come back. But she was never one to shirk away from her problems once things were out in the open, although sometimes it took a little effort to get to that stage. After that she much preferred dealing with them face on and resolving them.

But their truce was just too tentative for a day cooped up together not to end in a screaming match. Or, if he was being entirely truthful with himself, the opposite of that. That outcome frightened him much more than Lisbon's fist in his face. Passion and anger sat beside each other a little too closely on the colour palette of emotions and he couldn't take the chance of one running into the other.

She nodded, trying to hide the hurt she felt at him wanting to go with anyone else but her. He used to practically drag her out of the office to spend the day investigating with him. "Yeah, that's fine," she said softly, turning her eyes to her screen. "I'll keep Van Pelt on the background checks while you're gone. Let me know if you come up with anything."

"Will do. Appreciate it," he replied casually.

He chanced a glance at the flowers again that she noticed out of the corner of her eye. He waited for her to mention her meeting with Mashburn that had evidently brought about the gesture but she was evidently going to make him be the one to inquire.

His tone a little sharp that he had to bring up the question he asked, "So did Walter give you any insights into Janet's murder or did you two not get around to it?" As soon as the words left his mouth he realised it wasn't just the fact he had to ask the question that made his tone abrupt. He inwardly rolled his eyes at his emotions getting away on him where she was concerned once again.

She turned her head towards him, raising an eyebrow. "Of course we talked about it," she replied, annoyance in her tone.

He shrugged, aiming for nonchalance, "Oh, just you didn't look like you were going to mention it so I thought perhaps you both got distracted instead."

She almost laughed out loud at his clumsy attempt to ask her if they'd slept together. "What are you insinuating?"

Innocently he replied, "Nothing at all. None of my business-"

"You're goddamned right it isn't," she shot back with immediately.

Remaining calm he asked, "So? Did he have anything useful to say in relation to Janet's murder?"

_More than you know_, she thought to herself. "He said that her staff may have had motive. Sounds like she wasn't exactly a popular employer."

He nodded slowly. "Well not everyone has staff as loyal as yours, Lisbon."

She rolled her eyes as his attempt to get on her nerves again. "So, you met them I'm assuming. Think he might be right?"

"No," he replied at once.

"Well I'm going to look into the possibility anyway," she answered, slightly pouting.

He couldn't stop a small smile at her highly predictable response. "Why don't you do that while I'm off finding the real killer?"

She detected a note of humour in his tone as his words slipped out easily without thinking. His arrogant statement sounded more like the real him than she had experienced since his return. "I will, thanks," she replied, a glimmer of a smile on her lips.

* * *

_Lisbon opened the door to her apartment, a smile gracing her lips as she saw Jane sleeping soundly on her couch, the TV tuned to a wildlife show. She closed the door quietly, picking up his empty cup that lay on the table and depositing it in the sink. Quietly she began to make dinner for them, surprised to find herself humming as she did so. She rolled her eyes, relieved he wasn't awake to tease her about enjoying such a mundane domestic chore. It had been a long time she'd cooked for anyone apart from herself and didn't have the time or compunction to do so most of the time, often settling for a readymade salad or a microwave meal in the evening._

"_Why'd you stop?" he asked softly and she bristled immediately at his words. She should have known he would somehow sense there was an opportunity to mock her in the offing._

_She turned around from her spot at the counter to shoot him a glare as he leaned against the doorframe into the room, a soft smile on his lips. His hair was dishevelled and his vest had the bottom button undone, his shirt opened to the top of his vest, bronzed flesh on show. He looked gloriously rumpled and her heart skipped a beat. She had seen him like this many times at work but never had it had such a powerful effect on her. She supposed it was the fact he was standing in her kitchen that made the difference. Or her memory of his lips on hers days before. Or perhaps both._

_After staring for longer than she knew was decent she turned back to her vegetable chopping quickly, swallowing hard. "How are you feeling?" she asked, hoping it sounded casual._

"_Better now," he replied, his tone unabashedly seductive and she knew he had a smirk on his face. She reddened immediately and shook her head slightly. _

_She felt his presence at her back as he walked up behind her. When he reached above her to retrieve a glass from a higher cupboard, a hand gently squeezing her shoulder as he did so, his front just touching her hair and his breath close to her ear as he reached up she wondered if he was purposefully trying to rattle her with the close proximity of his body. Well of course he was, she quickly surmised. Although she was more angry with herself that it was working so well in his favour as her treacherous heart beat wildly in her chest._

_He went to the sink and filled his glass with water, popping pills he lifted from the counter and washing them down. "See Lisbon, told you I'd be a good patient and take my medication."_

_She huffed, laughing, "Knowing you you've probably stashed them in one of your pockets."_

_He glanced over at her, raising an eyebrow and grinning. "You want to search me? You're more than welcome to, my dear."_

"_I'll pass thanks," she replied quickly, rolling her eyes._

"_So," he said brightly a moment later as he rolled up his sleeves, "what can I do to help?"_

"_You're supposed to be resting."_

"_I've been asleep for the last three hours, Lisbon. I think I'm capable of a little chopping and peeling." He peered at the items beside her, picking up a packet of what looked like rice. He frowned, "quinoa? What the hell is that?" _

_She grinned, suddenly enjoying herself immensely. "It's a type of grain, like rice, but healthier."_

"_It looks like bird seed," Jane responded, disheartened, shaking his head. "Come on, Lisbon. You don't want to eat this anymore than I do. Let's order a pizza."_

"_It's good once you boil it." She shot him a look that she wasn't about to be swayed on the matter. She took the packet off him, turning to the back of it. "Apparently," she added distractedly, her brow furrowed as she read the instructions._

"_Well, who am I to argue with an obvious expert in the field?" he replied, rolling his eyes._

_She placed the packet back on the counter, going back to chopping a cucumber. "Stop behaving like a child, Jane. You can eat whatever crap you like in three days' time."_

"_Well your bedside manner and delivery could do with a little work but I appreciate the sentiment behind it nonetheless, Lisbon."_

"_You were the one who insisted on staying here, Jane. My house, my rules."_

_He grinned at her wolfishly. "You know I do love it when you get authoritarian on me."_

"_Oh, shut up," she muttered under her breath._

_The following minutes were spent with Jane critiquing Lisbon's knife skills, obviously finding more amusement there than in actually help her prepare dinner. It was only when she threatened him with the sharp blade of the knife did he retreat back to the safety of her living room. _

_Dinner was spent with her catching him up on a case that had come across her desk that afternoon and them both being surprisingly impressed with the quinoa salad she'd made. He watched as she cleared the plates away, her nerves beginning to get the better of her as nightfall approached. They'd been to dinner many times as friends and had eaten take out at her place on a few occasions while going over case files. But this time there was no expectation of him leaving afterwards. He sat on her couch as she busied herself with doing everything than sit down beside him. When she took her cheque book out of her bag with the obvious intention of balancing it he finally spoke. "Lisbon, what's next? You going to bleed the brakes on your car? Come on, you know we need to talk."_

_She looked up from the table where they'd eaten dinner, bank statements in front of her now. "What else have we been doing all night? Besides, it's getting late. You should turn in, you need the rest."_

_He sighed, exasperated. "What I need is to have a proper conversation with you." Softer, "Please, Lisbon, just sit down and let's talk." He patted the cushion beside him. _

_A second later her shoulders sagged in defeat and she came to sit beside him, her face full of apprehension. _

"_I'm not going to bite," he smiled. "Not unless you want me to," he grinned._

"_You need to stop that, Jane."_

"_Stop what?"_

"_You know what. Making innuendos, invading my personal space."_

"_The innuendos I'll work on. Little difficult not to invade your personal space when we're currently cohabitating."_

_She grunted in response. _

_Seriousness in his tone he asked, "Have you thought about our conversation in the hospital at all?"_

_She looked at him sideways. "You know I have," she answered softly._

"_And have you come to a decision?"_

_She sighed loudly. "I...I don't know, Jane. There are a lot of reasons why we shouldn't be even contemplating changing what we already have."_

"_Okay, like what?"_

"_Well, for one thing I'm your boss-"_

_He began to chuckle and she glared at him. He opened his mouth in surprise. "Oh, I'm sorry, you're being serious?"_

"_Of course I'm being serious. It's the truth, isn't it?"_

_He tilted his head from side to side. "Only technically."_

"_No! Not only technically, Jane. You're a member of my team. I'm responsible for you just as I am them."_

"_Oh, so you're saying you treat me like you do Cho and the others? Come on, Lisbon. Even you can't keep a straight face with that answer."_

"_I only treat you differently because you behave differently. You hardly ever listen to a word I say."_

"_Mmm. So doesn't that mean that you're not actually my boss, then? Or at least not a very effective one. Since being so would imply I follow your orders. Which you've just admitted I don't. Well, much."_

"_God, you're infuriating," she muttered under her breath._

"_Come on Lisbon, we're partners, right? That's how I see you. Equals."_

_She raised an eyebrow. "If that were the case then you'd listen to at least fifty percent of what I say."_

"_Meh. Semantics." He touched her hand a moment later, rubbing his fingers over her knuckles. "Besides anything else we wouldn't exactly being going public. I mean if Red John-"_

"_Oh god, Jane! Not everything is about him!" she shouted. As soon as the words left her mouth she only wished that were the truth. He was everywhere, his words invading her dreams, recollection of his nasally voice making her scrub her skin raw every morning since she'd talked to him and yet still feeling dirty afterwards, tainted by him. And the prevailing thought that maybe he was right. Maybe he knew Jane better than she did. _

"_That's exactly what I'm trying to move away from, Teresa. But he's still a threat and we need to remember that."_

_She looked him deep in the eyes and could see the struggle within him to let go of the hatred and the anger, to choose a better path, to choose her over him. She swallowed a lump in her throat, blinking tears away. One escaped and ran down her cheek. Jane brushed it away with his thumb, smiling sweetly at her as he did so. "We can make this work. I'm sure of it." He said the words so convincingly she could almost envisage how wonderful it could be between them, to allow themselves this chance to be together._

_But Red John's words echoed in her head. "What if we can't make it work?"_

_He was surprised by the question. "Why wouldn't we?"_

Because you might hate me when you find out what I did,_ were the first thoughts to enter her head. "Jane, people get together and break up all the time."_

"_Well I don't," he replied emphatically. His expression softened and he struggled to find the words. "I'd like to think that well...if...my wife hadn't...died then we'd still be together."_

"_I'm not her, Jane," Lisbon replied softly. "I could never be her."_

_He frowned and then laughed softly. "I think I'm more than aware of that, Lisbon. I'm not asking you to be a replacement, a carbon copy of what I had before. Besides anything else I'm not the man she married any longer either. I've changed. Sometimes for the worse admittedly. At other times, for the better and they are largely due to you."_

_She looked unsure for a moment so he continued. "Teresa, all I want is for you to continue to be you. Someone who'll kick me up the ass when I step out of line. Someone who makes me laugh without even meaning to. A smart, beautiful, compassionate woman. And perhaps more important than any of that, someone I trust."_

_The last word hit her in the heart like a steam train and she closed her eyes to recover, to get ready to tell him the truth. _

_Jane leaned in and kissed her softly, misinterpreting her action completely. She felt his lips on hers, gentle and inviting. A fraction of a second later she responded, savouring the softness of them compared to the dryness she had felt days before. When both of them were sure he was going to die. She kissed him back with more urgency, needing the reassurance suddenly that he was alive still, breathing, kissing her. When she felt his arms going around her and felt the strong beating of his heart against her chest, his kisses insistent she knew it was pointless to battle the inevitable any longer._

_A part of her knew she would someday have to pay for the pleasure she was experiencing now. That karma would come back to haunt her, that she was not someone who got something for nothing. She'd never even won on a scratch card. But, as Jane trailed teasing kisses down her neck, she allowed herself to give in to the feelings she had repressed for years and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer._


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Currently on a bit of a break but found the time to finish this chapter (and some decent Wi-Fi) and post it while sitting looking at the beautiful Irish landscape around me. Back home on Tuesday so unlikely there will be another update to any of my other stories until towards the end of next week. But hope you enjoy this one! And the scene with Jane/Lisbon/Mashburn is coming for all of those who asked, I assure you.**

* * *

Chapter 14 - Let them eat cake

Jane and Cho drove back to Sacramento after interviewing another possible suspect, Cho at the wheel and Jane looking thoughtfully out at the greenery as it whizzed by. Three days now he'd spent reading every face he'd met, picking through the mementos scattered throughout their residences for something that would lead him to discovering Red John's identity. Nothing. He thought by using CBI resources it would hasten the process and he supposed it had in many ways but the feeling of mild euphoria he'd felt days before in coming closer to finding his wife and child's killer was waning. What concerned him more than the interviews he still had to face was a nagging doubt that perhaps he'd already met the man. Perhaps he'd only just interviewed him and didn't see through the mask he wore to the world. That Red John had fooled him once again. He used to think that he'd know him as soon as he saw him, that his instincts would tell him immediately that this person in front of him was him. Now suddenly he wasn't so sure and all the work he'd put in over the past few months may have been for nothing but a list that had ultimately led him nowhere.

It also didn't help his process that he kept finding himself distracted from the task at hand, that he kept catching himself glancing in the direction of Lisbon's office, that he could feel the pull of her, the need to be close to her once again. It had been easy to be angry a year ago. Now he'd returned and was seeing her every day it was becoming increasingly difficult to stop himself from drifting back into familiar patterns, to share a joke with her, to annoy her just for the fun of it. The fact he couldn't give the search for Red John his full attention due to his inability to shut her out of his thoughts did nothing but add to the irritation he felt towards her, as blatantly irrational he knew that was.

"So, what have you been up to this past year?" Cho asked, bringing him out of his maudlin thoughts.

Jane shrugged, still looking out the window, "Not a lot. Did a little travelling up and down the coast."

"Why'd you stay in California?"

Jane turned around to look at him, growing suspicious of Cho's motives for asking, wondering if he'd figured out the reason he'd never left California. If anyone apart from Lisbon had figured it out it would be Cho. "Didn't realise it was crime to do so. I've lived here all my adult life after all."

Cho stared ahead at the road in front of him. "When the dust settled you should have called her to tell her you were okay at least. Sent her a postcard or something."

Jane sighed and rolled his eyes. "As you no doubt are already aware we didn't exactly leave things on speaking terms." He fought back the feeling of guilt that came over him and added quietly, "And she would have found out if anything untoward had happened to me in any case."

"How do you figure?"

Jane pursed his lips in a thin line and cleared his throat. "I made...certain arrangements."

Cho took his eyes off the road for a moment to look at him and frowned. "What kind of arrangements?"

"Arrangements that are none of your business," Jane bit back with, staring out the window again.

Cho shook his head; whatever they were he was sure Lisbon had no knowledge of them either then or now.

* * *

_Lisbon lay in bed wide awake, her mind replaying the kisses she and Jane had shared an hour ago. He was still a little too weak for them to get carried away with more than what could be considered a mild make out session on her couch but she had felt and reciprocated more passion in their kisses than she ever had in all her life. A smile crept across her face that turned into a grin and for a few minutes nothing mattered more than looking forward to experiencing that sensation again. She heard the bathroom toilet flush and a few minutes later his footsteps on the hallway outside. She watched the door, and, after a moment's hesitation where she saw the shadow of his feet beneath her door, heard a soft tap._

"_Come in," she said, a slight tremble to her voice, this entire scenario absolutely surreal._

_He stuck his head in the door and grinned at her as he saw her lying in bed, covers pulled up to her chin. "Can't sleep?"_

_She shook her head. "Not yet. Tonight's made me feel a little off kilter I guess." _

_He walked towards her bed, barefoot and clad in a pair of pyjamas and sat on its end. He smiled and bit his lip, nodding. "I know that feeling." He asked softly, "You're okay though, right? About us, that is. Haven't changed your mind?"_

_As the moonlight danced over his skin and she could see the nervousness in his expression she shook her head. Despite her sense of foreboding at whatever lay ahead she knew she had sealed her fate as soon as she had kissed him back earlier that evening. And at this moment in time all she wanted was to hold onto him and explore what a future together would be like. "No. I mean, yes I'm okay, I haven't changed my mind," she replied softly. _

_His face lit up at her words and she grinned in response. "This is still really weird, though," she laughed, pointing between the two of them._

_He nodded and laughed softly. "It is but it won't be for long." He edged up the bed a little closer so he sat beside her, smiling wider as her eyes widened and pupils dilated. He took her hand that lay on top of the covers and kissed her knuckles slowly and gently, his gaze never leaving hers. "Still weird?" he whispered, his eyes dark with intensity._

"_Yeah," she breathed. Suddenly she knew what he meant by wooing her as her stomach did a somersault._

_He leaned over and kissed her softly on the lips. He pulled back a hair's breath. "How about now?"_

_She kissed him back tenderly. "Most definitely," she nodded._

_He kissed her quickly again before standing up, taking in a breath. "Well, we'll work on it," he smiled, before bending down to kiss her on the forehead and bidding her goodnight. _

_She listened to the creak of the bed frame next door as he settled in for the night, wondering if his smile was as wide as hers at this very moment. She highly suspected it was._

* * *

Lisbon walked into the bullpen, noticing the conference table was brimming with all types of cake. "Whose birthday is it? Elton John's?" she laughed and asked Van Pelt who was eating a piece of what looked like lemon cake.

"Sorry, boss," Rigsby said, his voice muffled by inserting a piece of chocolate cake into his mouth. He swallowed it down and added, "Wedding cake selection. We're a little late in deciding and we've been so busy with the Walker case and-"

"It's fine," Lisbon said brightly. "As long as I can join in the tasting, that is," she smiled. Since Jane had been back the whole team had been flat out helping him interview and research suspects but they had three other murder investigations already ongoing when they took it on and none of her team had left before eight the last few nights. The least she could do was to be an approachable and amiable boss in return and quash down her personal feelings where Jane was concerned and to give them and herself a break from the drama for a few minutes.

"Sure boss," Van Pelt grinned, picking up a piece of cake and handing it to her.

As Lisbon put a piece of lemon cake into her mouth Cho and Jane reappeared after their day spent interviewing. Jane glanced at the table and frowned. "What is this, are the CBI sidelining into opening a bakery? Not enough detective work to keep you all busy?" he barked, barely looking at them as he slumped down on his couch.

Lisbon ate the cake and bit her tongue simultaneously. She replied politely, "So, no luck today then, I take it?"

He shot her a glare in response.

"You lost your touch?" she smiled, partly just to antagonise him for the crack he'd just made. "Normally you'd have things sewn up long before now, Jane. Maybe you've been out of the game too long."

He raised an eyebrow. "Are you trying to bait me, Lisbon? Because I wouldn't advise it the mood I'm in."

They locked eyes on each other, silently challenging the other one to explode first.

The whole team felt the frisson of tension pervade the air. Cho and Rigsby had a bet going to see how long this truce was going to hold and looked at each other, wondering if one of them would collect soon. They had a side bet whether it would be broken by one of them killing/injuring the other (well, Lisbon hurting Jane more specifically) or someone discovering them tearing at each other's clothing in Lisbon's office.

Van Pelt piped up, "We're trying wedding cakes, Jane. Come on, try some. Help us decide. They're really good."

After a few moments Jane took his eyes away from Lisbon's to settle on Van Pelt before perusing the table from his place on the couch. Van Pelt released a breath at feeling the strain in the atmosphere dissipate for the present.

"No point in me trying to help you decide, Van Pelt. I already know which one you're going to go for."

"You do, do you?" she replied, smiling, catching a glimpse of the 'old' Jane again who used to entertain them with mind reading tricks when times were quiet, hoping to see more of how he used to be. "Okay then, Mr. Know-it-all, which one?"

He could see through Van Pelt's attempt to bring him back into the fold but, on a whim and to dispel some of his frustration (and, if he was entirely honest, to prove to both himself and Lisbon that he hadn't lost his ability to read people), he decided to play along. He tapped his index finger to his lips, looking at a spot in the distance before smiling. He took out a pen and paper and wrote something on it, folding the paper and handed it to Van Pelt. "Here you go. Keep hold of it. When you decide on your choice, read it."

The next few minutes were spent with Rigsby, Van Pelt, Cho and Lisbon quietly discussing their favourites out of earshot. Van Pelt announced finally, "Okay, lemon it is." All eyes were on Jane to see his reaction and he merely shrugged. Van Pelt opened the paper and grinned, showing it to the others. "You were right!"

"No need to sound so surprised, Grace," Jane replied casually. "It was hardly a challenge." He looked pointedly at Lisbon. "Seems like I still have some game after all." She shrugged in return, a flicker of a smile on her lips.

"But how did you know?" Rigsby prodded.

Jane smiled fully, suddenly feeling better than he had since he'd come back. "Because it's Grace's favourite of course. At the end of the day the bride always gets her way. More impressive is that I knew it would be a draw until Rigsby caved. Let me tell you who picked what. Van Pelt picked lemon. Cho, carrot. Rigsby went for strawberry and-"

He paused for a moment, licking his lips, his tone softer, "Lisbon went for chocolate, her favourite."

Lisbon met his eyes and blushed furiously as they both recalled another occasion where chocolate cake was concerned.

* * *

_Lisbon arrived home to find Jane in her kitchen, stirring something on the stove. It was two days since they'd kissed on her couch and she had pushed all thoughts of Red John to the back of her mind. She was just too happy to allow him to spoil things for her and for them now they'd taken this leap forward. He'd already taken away too much from Jane and she was determined he wasn't going to take away his chance at being happy again. Jane was so different to the man she knew years before – markedly lighter, tender, caring, was attempting to be more open. The last thing she wanted was to drag him back down the rabbit hole again when he'd just gotten a new lease of life. His health had improved immensely even though he still got tired quite early in the evening but the dizzy spells seemed to have left him. He was literally coming alive again before her eyes into a happier, more carefree version of himself._

"_Hey," she smiled, coming up behind him to see what he was doing. _

"_Hey yourself," he grinned, turning around and kissing her softly on the lips before he turned back to his sauce._

_Jane had been right, the weirdness hadn't lasted all that long and, although kissing each other was still new and wondrous and they hadn't taken any steps further than that thus far, they seemed to fit together into this new dynamic pretty quickly. Of course sharing a house together probably helped._

"_How was your day?" he asked and she giggled in response. _

_He turned his head towards her, raising a quizzical eyebrow, "What's so funny? A clown got murdered?"_

_She laughed again. "No. It's just you sounded so...I don't know. It sounded like we've been doing this a lot longer than we actually have."_

_He slipped his arm around her waist and kissed the side of her head, his attention sill focussed on the pot he was stirring. "That's what comes from knowing each other so well already. We didn't have all the awkwardness a new relationship entails. All the getting to know you stuff people have to endure."_

"_Mmm," she replied, placing her arms around his waist, "Well, I'd say I'm at a disadvantage. You certainly know me a hell of a lot more than I know you."_

_He nodded thoughtfully. "I wouldn't necessarily agree entirely with that statement but you may have a point. So let's remedy that. For every one thing you tell me that you consider private then I'll tell you two."_

_She pulled back and grinned, "Really?"_

_He nodded, "Really." His tone turned softer and he captured her lips again. "I told you, Teresa. When we're like this...when we're here together alone then I give you one hundred percent of me, no holding back." _

_She smiled, withdrawing her arms to let him concentrate on his cooking. "You're obviously feeling a lot better," she replied quietly, moving to face him with her back to the counter._

"_You don't sound too happy about that," he smiled as he added some pepper to his sauce._

_She sighed. "Of course I am but it's just-"_

"_I'm going to be moving out soon. I know. I admit I'm not looking forward to it either."_

"_Well there's no rush, Jane. You're still not fully recovered."_

"_Why do you think I haven't mentioned going back to work?"_

_She frowned and recognised she had been surprised he hadn't pushed her into letting him go back to the office as soon as he was discharged from hospital. It was something the 'old' Jane would have insisted upon._

_He continued, "Because then people will see how much I've recuperated and well...there goes my reason for staying here still." He pecked her lips when he heard her sigh in response. "But I'm not gone yet. So let's not think about how we continue this after I move out, let's just have a nice night, shall we?"_

_She nodded. "Sounds good." She went to the fridge to grab a bottle of water and saw a chocolate cake sitting there. "Jane! Where the hell did that come from?!"_

"_Where do you think? The fairies brought it? I had it delivered from Marie's for your dessert of course. Just leave me a slice of the sucker for tomorrow when I'm officially off this damn diet regimen you insist I stick to."_

"_But Marie's don't deliver," she responded, fighting an urge to put a finger through the chocolate frosting as she licked her lips._

_He smirked at her, his interest piqued by her battle to resist temptation. "They don't normally deliver but I'm a pretty good customer of theirs with all the apology donuts and bear claws I've had to buy for you and the team over the years when I've upset you for one reason or another. They were only too pleased to deliver it when they discovered I'd escaped death's calling and would be availing of their services in the near future again."_

"_It does look delicious," she admitted._

"_Come on Lisbon, stop fighting against what you really want."_

_She eyed him with a mixture of amusement and curiosity, unsure of the implication of his words. _

"_The cake, Lisbon," he grinned. "Try some."_

_Her eyes lit on it again and she chewed on her bottom lip before she indulged herself finally by drawing her index finger through its side and licking off the icing, closing her eyes as she savoured its cocoa flavoured goodness. Before she opened them Jane's lips found hers, kissing her passionately._

"_Mmm. It does taste good," Jane continued, licking her lips for good measure._

_Lisbon's eyes popped open and she looked at him reproachfully. "You're not supposed to be eating chocolate cake," she replied, an eyebrow raised._

"_I didn't eat a thing," he responded, dragging his finger through the cake and slathering the frosting on her neck. She shuddered at both the coldness on her skin and the sudden intimacy he'd just initiated. Before she had time to answer him he pushed her further against the counter and leaned down, licking off the chocolate icing slowly and sensually. _

"_Jesus," she whispered, her eyes closed and her fingers gripped to the counter behind her._

_He laughed softly against her skin, kissing her neck. "Nope, just me."_

_She laughed giddily in response. "You're just doing this to taste this damn cake."_

_He pulled his head from her neck and chuckled. "Of course, what other possible reason could there be? I can't for the life of me comprehend any other at all." He dived in again and captured her lips in a decidedly chocolate fused kiss._


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: For the first time ever (and hopefully the last) I haven't had time to respond to all your lovely reviews for this story as I believe you'd rather have my time spent writing another chapter than getting my thanks individually. Please know that I am immensely touched by them and would probably have lost interest in continuing to write without them, they really do spur me on. So a big blanket thanks to (and I apologise if I've left anyone out): Nelapl, Brooklyn79, Azucar, Ozzie13, LouiseKurylo, MartyMc49, Florale, OTHGirl24, thorntons, Ana, Clover81, Spitfire303, CrazerCat, Cleo, HannaWger, Guest and 1832TeaQL. And I apologise to all those who've abandoned their diets at the mention of chocolate cake in the last chapter!**

* * *

Chapter 15 – Manipulation &amp; Mattresses

Lisbon walked back into her office, a little unnerved by the incident with the chocolate cake. The memory of his tongue against her neck had made her skin surge with heat and stomach clench while providing Patrick Jane with plenty of indication that she was far from over him. It aggravated her no end that he could still have this affect on her over a year later. But she was a little gratified that he hadn't looked entirely unaffected by the memory either. She took a deep breath and pulled a file from the corner of her desk, hoping a gambit she had instigated before Jane's arrival back into the bullpen would pay off shortly.

A few minutes later Jane stormed through the door without knocking. "Van Pelt told me you've taken her off background checking Janet's clients," he said accusingly.

_Well that peace didn't last long,_ was her first thought. But at least it appeared her plan was set in motion was her second.

She glanced up from the file, "Well please come on in, Jane," she replied, her tone dripping with sarcasm.

She put her head back to the paperwork in front of her, her voice neutral again. "Just for now. We have three other cases that need her attention and the rest of the team's. You have enough people you still want to interview that she's already checked. When you've done that then I'll consider reassigning her back again. She has other work in the meantime."

He frowned, opening and closing his mouth for a second. He had never had to negotiate for resources to help him before and he tensed at her using her position as team leader to her advantage and his detriment. He was supposed to be the manipulator, not her.

Lisbon looked up, smiled a little at his obviously shocked demeanour. "What? Did you expect me to drop every other case and prioritise the one you were more interested in instead?"

"Wainwright promised-"

"He promised you'd work the Walker case. You are working it, right? Despite the lack of progress."

He came a few steps closer, annoyance in his tone, ignoring her dig, the second one in minutes. "You know I need those background checks run. There could be a more viable suspect I'm not even aware of yet."

She leaned back in her chair, enjoying having some power. She wasn't one to normally flex it but seeing him try to stay in control was priceless. "Then I suggest you learn how to use a computer," she smiled.

He gaped again. "What the hell are you playing at, Lisbon? You would never..." he calmed his breathing, lowered his tone, shaking his head. "This isn't how you operate."

"Yeah, well things change."

He breathed deeply, thinking hard before suddenly comprehending her thought process. He smiled wryly. He had to admit she was often smarter than he acknowledged at times. Or perhaps he'd just tried to forget that aspect to her personality as it fascinated him so much when she sparred with him intellectually.

"Where are the files for the other cases?" he asked calmly.

She feigned confusion. "Sorry?"

He came a step nearer, looked directly in her eyes from the other side of the desk. "The other files. For these so called more urgent cases."

She raised a quizzical eyebrow. "I thought you said you wouldn't work on any other cases except Janet Walker's."

He sighed and gave her a knowing look that he had seen though her ploy to get his help on other cases. "You want my help or not?"

She shrugged, passing him some files from her desk. "If you want to see if you can find any inconsistencies in the witness statements then I won't stop you."

Taking the files with him he paused at the doorway. Her head was already back down, pretending to concentrate on a piece of paper in front of her but stifling a smile.

"Nice job," he said softly, amusement in his features.

She looked back in his direction. "I haven't the faintest idea what you're talking about."

"Well of course you don't," he smiled, leaving her office.

A grin spread across her face when his back was out of view. She had almost forgotten the rare delight in getting one over on Patrick Jane.

* * *

_They ate dinner, laughing and occasionally flirting, Lisbon filling Jane in on the day's events. Even though she was describing a murder, she couldn't stop smiling and from Jane's almost constant grin told her he felt the same. He grasped her hand across the table, his fingers rolling over her knuckles as they finished their meal._

"_I'm afraid I have a complaint about the accommodation in this fine establishment," he said, his tone serious but his eyes twinkling with amusement._

"_Oh?" she smiled, "is that so?"_

"_Mmm."_

_She detected a hint of nervousness as he swallowed slightly, his tongue running over his lips to moisten them. It was so rare she ever saw him without an air of confidence she frowned, nodding for him to go on._

_He took a deep breath and smiled again. "Well, that mattress in your spare room is a tad...uh...lumpy."_

_Her eyes widened and he laughed softly. "Is it that much of a surprise to you that I'd like to sleep with you?"_

_She blanched, unable to catch a breath for a moment. She knew they were on this path since they'd kissed but was she really about to have sex with Patrick Jane? As far she knew it was the first time he'd be with a woman since his wife. It was a hell of a responsibility. And she wasn't entirely sure if either of them were ready for it. She was confident enough in her sexual prowess in the bedroom but this wouldn't just be some guy she picked up or dated a few times that she could easily push away from afterwards. It was Jane. The act of making love, of seeing each other at their most naked, both literally and figuratively, would be a hugely significant act for both of them._

_He laughed again, blushing slightly. "I'm actually not talking about sex, Lisbon." He eyed her seductively for a moment, his eyes dark. "Not just yet, at least." He added, "Just sleeping beside you, in its most literal sense."_

_He picked up their plates, carried them over to the sink, his tone now utterly conversational. "You know I could never understand that turn of phrase? Sleeping together. When the opposite is actually the case." He turned around and winked at her, still sitting in silence at the table. "Or at least it should be if it's done right."_

_She came to stand beside him, drying the dishes as he washed them. "You are permitted to say 'no', Lisbon," he added when she hadn't yet spoken, as he scrubbed a plate with a scouring pad. _

_She nodded, chewing on her bottom lip as she dried the plate when he passed it to her. _

_He continued, "And of course you know that and would be only too forthright in telling me if that was your response. But the fact you haven't means you want to but are concerned about it. About what it means if we do." He went to pass her a glass but held it in his hand for a moment so she had to look at him. His voice dipped. "I'm nervous too, Teresa. Even if all we do is sleep in the same bed it's...it's by far the most intimate thing I've done with someone for a very long time."_

_She could see the apprehension etched in his face, some guilt in his expression. She finally spoke. "This is all happening so fast, Jane."_

_He smiled, laughing softly. "Yeah, it's not like we haven't known each other for years."_

_She rolled her eyes, "You know this is different. I mean, we hadn't even kissed until last week and now..."_

_He dried his hands on the tea towel she held and put his arms around her waist. "Now, I'm living here, albeit temporarily. But I really am only talking about sleeping tonight, though."_

_She clasped her hands behind his back. "Why is it so important to you?"_

_He shrugged, kissed her quickly. "Because I'd like to know what it feels like. To fall asleep with you beside me. To wake up next to you. Just...just to feel close to you."_

_She smiled lightly. "I should warn you I'm a bit of a bed hogger."_

_He grinned. "Well, I've been used to a door for a bed in the CBI attic so I don't require much space fortunately."_

"_At least I know you don't snore."_

"_Nor do you although you do have a tendency to mumble in your sleep. And drool occasionally."_

_She swatted his arm. "I do not!"_

_He laughed softly before kissing her again. "So," he said tenderly, "shall we turn in, my dear?"_

* * *

Jane came back into her office an hour later and placed the files she'd given him earlier on her desk. "I've made some notes. Some leads for you and the team to follow up."

She nodded, opening the top file. "You think the brother-in-law was lying?" she asked.

He nodded, taking a seat opposite, crossing one leg over the other, getting comfortable. "His alibi is flimsy at best. My best guess is his girlfriend is covering for him. She probably knows he's a killer but is too needy and protective of him to give him up right away. If you lean on her and apply the right pressure I'm sure she'll cave."

"Sounds right up your alley," Lisbon commented, locking eyes with him.

He rolled his in return. "Haven't I made concession enough by helping you this past hour?"

"You're a consultant. You're paid to help with any cases you're assigned. You're not supposed to pick and choose."

"Yet that was the basis of my signing up again. And the payment for my services is at best pitiful in any case. Would hardly call it payment at all."

She sighed heavily, rubbing the sudden pain searing across her forehead. "Fine. We'll deal with it. I'll get Van Pelt to begin the rest of the background checks for _your_ case in the morning."

"You could just have asked me straight out for my help earlier than stoop to subterfuge and blackmail."

She closed the file, digging out some headache tablets from her drawer. "Yeah, and what would your response have been, I wonder," she muttered under her breath.

As she washed the pills down with cold black coffee she grimaced.

"You still drink too much of that dreadful stuff," he said, watching her every move. "That's what brings on your headaches, you know."

"Yeah, you've told me that a hundred times, Jane. And I've told you I need the coffee to get rid of my headaches."

"That's because you're addicted to the stuff, Lisbon. If you cut down slowly your headaches would stop."

She raised an eyebrow, smiling faintly. "With you back working here? Are you kidding me?"

He looked down to his lap, trying to hold back a smile. He had almost forgotten what fun bickering with her over her coffee intake was like. He shook his head slowly, standing up and sighed. "Bring the girlfriend in tomorrow morning, first thing. I'll interview her before I go talk to more of Janet's client list."

* * *

_As Jane went to the spare room to get changed for the night Lisbon delved through her nightwear drawer. As well as some large football jerseys there was an emerald green satin chemise that her niece Annie had bought for her the Christmas before. 'In case you ever get that consultant you're crazy about in your bed, Aunt Reese' she had teased her. Lisbon's brothers had joined in and she was as scarlet as Rudolph's nose in a matter of seconds. Her hands hovered over it before rolling her eyes and pushing it to the back of the drawer, pulling out a jersey instead and some sleep shorts. She didn't normally bother wear anything but panties underneath her jersey but this was not exactly going to be a normal night's sleep. She bundled them along with a clean set of panties under her arm and went into the adjoining bathroom to get changed. As she threw her jeans, top and underwear in the washing hamper she felt her legs, hairs pricking her fingertips. "Oh, sheep dip," she muttered, pulling out a razor and filling the sink with hot water. Even if she wasn't going to have sex with him she didn't want him to witness her porcupine legs this early on._

_She heard a light knock on the bedroom door and Jane call out her name. _

"_Come on in, just getting changed in the bathroom." She hoped her tone sounded breezy. She nicked herself with her razor trying to do the job too quickly. "Damn it."_

"_Everything okay in there?" Jane asked at the door._

"_Yes!" she snapped before attempting a more casual tone. "Just...just make yourself comfortable. I'll be out in a minute."_

"_Does that mean get into bed or is that a euphemism for something else? I'm a little out of practice where bedroom etiquette is concerned," he replied, amusement in his tone._

"_Just get into bed, Jane," she growled._

_She looked in the mirror, flushing after those words came out, her heart racing. She heard him chuckling, his voice more distant as he had evidently taken her at her word. "Still so bossy."_

* * *

_A few minutes later she came out of the bathroom, turning off the light behind her. Jane was lying on the opposite side of the bed to hers, a lamp illuminating his features as he browsed through a celebrity gossip magazine. _Sheep dip again_, she thought, having forgotten she hadn't hidden it from his view. When she had a gruelling day sometimes all she liked was to sit and read nonsense about celebrities with more money than sense and berate them and their lifestyles while working her way through a tub of ice cream._

_She approached the bed and his eyes took in her appearance from head to toe. He smiled, lingering his look a little over her legs. Silently he moved the covers away so she could get in and brought his eyes back to his magazine. "Kim Kardashian seems to feature in every article. Who is she anyway?"_

_She giggled, his question having the affect of cutting the tension in the air. As she supposed he had intended. _

"_A woman with a big butt and an even bigger bank balance to boot."_

_He nodded, "Nice alliteration. It is hefty, that's for sure," he replied, taking a closer look at a photograph on the page in front of him._

"_Would you like me to cut that out for you?" _

_He grinned at her, placing the magazine on the floor beside him. "No. I'm more than happy with the one I see in front of me every day, thank you all the same."_

_She blushed and lay on her side, pulling the covers up to her waist. He turned off the light and lay down beside her, his face opposite hers. He smiled again. "Don't tell Rigsby, though. He'd clobber me looking at Van Pelt that way."_

_She went to whack him on the arm but he quickly took her hand instead, kissing its palm before holding it against his chest and softly caressing it. "You okay?" he asked gently._

_She nodded. "Yeah, you?"_

"_Better than I thought I might be," he admitted. "It's difficult though. Trying to move on with my life. It's...it's taking some effort."_

_She blinked rapidly. He had seemed to be coping with this change in their status better than she had been. "I thought you were taking it all in your stride."_

_He shook his head. "Well, I'm a pretty good actor. And sometimes it is fine. Most of the time. Great, in fact. But..." He licked his lips nervously. "But it's hard stopping the guilt take over. That I'm here with you, and..." his voice trailed off, breaking a little._

"_And they're not," she finished for him._

_He nodded. "I know they'd prefer this for me than the life I've been leading but...it doesn't seem fair that I've been given a second chance."_

"_You know what I think wouldn't be fair?"_

_He shook his head. _

"_That you'd squander it now you have been."_

_He smiled and kissed the hand in his. He leaned over and kissed her deeply, pulling her towards him. Her hand weaved through his hair as she kissed him back and he sighed contentedly. "God, that feels nice," he whispered, drawing his arm around her shoulders and pulling her head to lie on his chest. He closed his eyes as she continued to run one hand through his curls soothingly and the other still intertwined in his against his heart. Before long they were both sound asleep._

* * *

**A/N: So no sexytimes yet but they are coming I assure you. Thanks again for all your lovely support!**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Apologies for the delay in updating this story. Now that I've finished 'Missing' updates should be much timelier. Thank you as ever for your lovely words of support.**

* * *

Chapter 16 - Control

_Jane woke to find himself wedged in on the far edge of the bed. He was lying on his back with Lisbon's butt jutting into his hipbone. She wasn't kidding about being a bed hogger. He found himself smiling nonetheless as he watched her sleep soundly, her arms stuck out vertically across practically the whole of the other side of the bed, hands joined together as if she were pointing a gun at a perp. He almost laughed out loud, still a cop even asleep. _

_He moved to lie on his side, facing her back, to try to gain a little more space. That accomplished nothing more than her pushing into him further and awakening something in him he hadn't felt in years first thing in the morning. He closed his eyes, tried to use his biofeedback to get control over himself but then she moaned softly and rubbed against him slightly. He took a deep breath, put his hands on her waist and attempted to push her back to her side of the bed. She writhed, a dissatisfied groan expelling from her as she did so doing nothing to ease his discomfort, her wriggling instead having the entire opposite reaction. He rolled his eyes and made his way out of the bed, needing to put some distance between them. _

_He made his way to the bathroom, used the toilet, washed his hands and began to brush his teeth. Looking in the mirror as he did so his thoughts turned to Angela. He'd just shared a bed with a woman who wasn't her and he exhaled loudly, a sliver of guilt making its way into his thoughts. When he married her he never thought of straying even when surrounded by temptation, increasingly more so as his fame soared. And when she died he never imagined he'd ever want to be with another woman. But, as evidenced by his body's reaction to Lisbon that morning, he sorely did. _

_It was one thing feeling he was ready to move on with her as a romantic partner but it was an entirely different matter carrying through with it in a physical sense. All they had done up until now was kiss and cuddle and it had stirred up some passionate feelings but, on the whole it was fairly innocuous and he could still control how far it went, still control himself during it. _Control freak much_, he sighed to himself. But the act of making love was when she'd see him out of control, unable to put on a mask or deceive her in any way. He wasn't entirely sure his mind was ready for that step yet as much as his body desired hers. Of course, he could just have sex with her, satisfy her and his own baser desires by allowing his lizard brain to take over and keep his emotional senses intact but Lisbon knew him too well not to realise there would be some kind of pretence involved if he did that, that he would be holding something back from her. And he didn't want to just have sex with her in any case. It would cheapen their relationship; betray what they already had established as friends. He wanted that emotional and physical bond with her as he had with Angela but he was also terrified of having that again too. And even more terrified of losing it again._

_He padded back into the bedroom and noticed her now lying fully on the side of the bed he had been sleeping on. He quietly turned off the alarm she'd preset before sliding under the covers again. He watched her for a few seconds, her breaths even and her chest rising and falling hypnotically as she lay facing him, a rare sight to see her so serene. He brushed some hair from her face so he could observe her more, moved closer to her. He thought of kissing her lips to wake her up. Then he closed his eyes, swallowed hard. _Just like you used to do with Angie, Paddy,_ his brain told him. He puffed out a breath, suddenly wishing he'd slept with another woman before even attempting this relationship with Lisbon. At least if he'd done that he wouldn't have to face the rush of guilt his every action with her now seemed to hold as he would have presumably already worked through those thoughts the first time he'd become intimate with someone else other than his wife. He leant over and kissed her cheek softly. Her eyes fluttered open, green orbs staring at him confused and sleepy still. _

"_Good morning," he said softly._

_She blinked a few times rapidly, moved slightly to look around her and frowned. "Why are you on my side?" she said in an accusatory tone, her voice croaking slightly with sleep._

"_Because I slept on a postage stamp all night," he smiled._

_She blushed, realising she'd taken up most of the bed. "Sorry," she yawned, covering her mouth with her hand. "Told you I was a hogger."_

_Now she was awake his thoughts ran only to how adorably cute and rumpled she looked first thing in the morning, hair messy, fresh faced, freckles accentuated by the lack of makeup and half awake. Naturally he was not masochist enough to mention that to her. She was inevitably grumpy enough in the morning. Instead he moved to kiss her on the lips. She kept her mouth closed and kissed him back quickly. _Worried by morning breath, obviously, _he surmised. _

"_Um...I'll be right back," she said quickly, confirming his suspicion and made her way to the bathroom._

_When she came back a few minutes later Jane was back on the other side of the bed. She slipped into her side and checked her alarm clock. _

"_I turned the alarm off," he said before she mentioned it._

_She shot him a withering look._

"_Lisbon, it's Saturday. You're not even on call. Have a lie in for once in your life."_

_She rolled her eyes but moved closer to him and he put his arms around her. _

"_How'd you sleep?" she asked._

"_Pretty well considering I was a little stuck for space."_

"_You could have had a whole bed to yourself next door," she countered._

_He kissed the top of her head. "True. But the cuddling here makes up for it." He squeezed her a little tighter to make his point and closed his eyes._

_She moved up and kissed his neck, softly and gently. _

_He sighed approvingly._

_She began to unbutton his pyjama top and her fingers caressed the skin she bared. His heart beat faster as she intensified the kissing, her hand coming up to draw his mouth to hers. They kissed deeply as her hand began to move further down his top, her leg coming to rest on his thigh as she rested her head over him, her kisses more insistent. He allowed the feeling of heat wash over him, moved his hand to the back of her head to deepen the kiss more, raising his head from the pillow. She moaned into his mouth and he shuddered. He felt her fingers loosen the bottom button of his top, her fingertips stroking his chest in lazy patterns, his skin igniting beneath her touch. It had been so long since someone had touched him like this it was almost too much for him. A part of his brain was telling him he should be making similar advances back, that he should be exploring her skin like she was his but he was unable to react in any coherent manner apart from kiss her. Then he felt her fingers shift lower and, in an almost involuntarily gesture, he stopped their progress. She stilled immediately, her mouth against his as he moved their hands back to rest on his stomach. She drew back, embarrassment flooding her features that she'd been too forward._

"_Sorry-" she began, crimson faced._

"_It's okay," he smiled, catching his breath, trying to reassure her and kissed her quickly. He stammered, "You didn't do anything wrong. I'm just...well I'm just not sure if I'm ready for...well you know I'm still recuperating I guess."_

"_Of course," she replied quickly. But both of them knew there was more to Jane's reluctance in continuing than the fact he was getting over his illness. _

_He kissed her deeply again, changing his tone to easygoing, casual. "You know I was thinking maybe the two of us could take a drive up the coast today, maybe stop and have some lunch. Fresh air would do me the world of good I think. You too after spending all that time at the hospital and then at the office."_

_He knew by her reaction she wasn't buying his chirpiness but she shrugged then nodded. "Sure, sounds lovely."_

_He nodded in return. "Great," he replied, a little too enthusiastically. _

* * *

Lisbon watched through the two way mirror as Jane applied just the right amount of pressure and flattery for the girlfriend to confirm she'd given Martin Franks an alibi and that she hadn't seen him until much later the night of the murder of his brother's wife but that he'd asked her to confirm they'd been together all night. When gently pressed further she admitted that he'd come in with bloodstains on his shirt that he'd tried to pass off by telling her he had a nose bleed. Evidence was circumstantial as his clothing had been washed but without an alibi now Lisbon had more authority to lean on him further and investigate his bank accounts and emails in greater detail.

A smile fell upon her lips as she recognised the man she used to know at work. His reading of the girlfriend was spot on, knowing immediately she wasn't the type to fall for any type of aggressive questioning, that it would only make her clam up further. He coaxed the truth out of her instead, a soft smile in her direction, a light hand placed on hers, unerring sympathy on his face.

While his good looks were certainly part of the package that made her fall for him, it was this more cerebral side to him that made him stand out amongst other good looking men. But she was not immune to his dazzling smile either, or when he decided to turn on the charm as he was doing to the woman opposite him right now. Her admiration of his interrogation techniques gave way to baser thoughts as she continued to stare through the glass, catching a glimpse of his smile when he turned his head slightly, or when his nimble fingers tapped lightly on the table. Her mind wandered momentarily as she remembered them trailing over her bare skin and her heart rate increased.

"He's still got it," Van Pelt said quietly beside her, looking at her boss sideways for confirmation.

Lisbon nodded quickly, swallowed quietly and took a breath to bring her out of her more lustful line of thinking. "Yeah." She cleared her throat and turned to face her. Louder, "Yeah, still knows how to work a room even if there's only one person in it. Get the brother in law back in for questioning and get a court order ready to check more of his financials. Get a search warrant prepared for the girlfriend's apartment also, might be some evidence there we can salvage. I'll talk to a judge in the meantime."

She nodded to the glass in front of her. "Charge her with withholding evidence, aiding after the fact, whatever else you can think of so the two of them can't get together and let him talk her back into providing an alibi again. Let's see if we can get this one wrapped up today."

"Sure, boss," Van Pelt replied brightly, exiting the room.

Jane and Lisbon exited the two rooms simultaneously and met in the corridor.

"Thanks," she said softly. "You did good work in there."

He nodded, shrugged off her words. "Hardly an accomplishment. She was an easy read after all."

Lisbon rolled her eyes. Trust Jane to turn a compliment into an insult about her and her team's own interrogation skills.

* * *

_Jane had exited the bed as soon as she had agreed on a day out together and headed to the kitchen to make them breakfast before they hit the road. He was humming and whistling happily as he scrambled some eggs when she arrived to join him freshly showered. She was still embarrassed that she'd practically jumped the poor man that morning. She didn't quite know what had got into her but she should have had more sensitivity. It had been a long time since he'd been with a woman and there she was lunging at him before dawn. She resolved to let him set the pace from now on, as difficult as that might be. She wasn't used to being backward in the bedroom, enjoying taking control there like she did in pretty much every other aspect of her life._

"_Something smells good," she said at his back._

"_First day off my diet, Lisbon. I'm making a feast. Hope you're hungry-"_

_The smile fell from his lips as he turned to talk to her and was replaced by one of barely disguised lust. She was wearing an aubergine sun dress, dotted with small white butterflies, her cleavage enhanced by what must certainly have been push up bra. Then he noticed the spaghetti straps on the dress bore no bra straps underneath. So she was wearing a strapless bra. Most probably. He swallowed hard, considering the fact she may not be wearing one at all. Christ._

_She blushed immediately as his eyes continued to cascade over her, only leaving her when the smoke alarm began to sound in the kitchen. She rushed up beside him, waving a tea towel below the sensor to stop its incessant ringing. _

"_Jesus, Jane, watch you don't set fire to my damn kitchen!" she scolded._

"_Sorry," he muttered, turning his attention back to his cooking. He cleared his throat. "Nice dress," he added conversationally._

* * *

Rigsby accompanied Jane to meet with more of Janet's clients that afternoon. After ten minutes of nothing but wedding talk Jane wished he'd been able to persuade Cho instead and sat sullenly beside him.

"We're having a bachelor party a week before," his tall colleague enthused. He laughed. "Grace is afraid of me turning up wasted at my own wedding so we're taking no chances." He glanced at Jane who was staring out the side window, "Hope you'll make it, man. And to the wedding too." He laughed again. "It's kinda your fault this is happening at all."

Jane turned towards him. "You rather I hadn't interfered?"

"Are you kidding me? Best thing you ever did getting us to see what was right in front of us."

_Here we go__ again,_ Jane thought. They must be tag teaming each other to have their say in his and Lisbon's relationship.

"You know-" Rigsby started nervously.

"Save your breath," Jane quickly interjected, stony faced.

Rigsby wisely took his advice and kept his eyes on the road ahead instead, Jane pretending to fall asleep. After another fruitless afternoon they sat glumly in the car again on their way back to the CBI. As they'd talked to four clients in various directions they took a different route back.

An hour later they approached a beachfront restaurant.

"Want to stop for something to eat before we get back?" Rigsby asked as his stomach growled.

Memories of the place hit Jane squarely in the chest. "Not in there," he said quietly.

* * *

_Lisbon insisted on driving so Jane could rest further on their day trip. Well, that and the fact she preferred to drive. She had been surprised when he'd mentioned packing an overnight bag in case they decided to book a B&amp;B if it was too late to drive home. She wondered if that meant he was considering advancing their relationship further but she tried to put those thoughts to the back of her mind and try to go with the flow. It was not exactly in her wheelhouse to do so but she had to give it a try. A few hours in Jane directed her to a small restaurant beside the beach. _

"_Let's try here," he suggested. "I'm starving."_

"_After what you ate for breakfast!" she teased._

"_I've been on a diet for days, woman. I need feeding up again."_

_They parked up and went inside. The place was practically empty and they were seated immediately on the terrace with a stunning view of the ocean. A surly waitress came and took their drinks order, flashing both of them a look of contempt._

_Lisbon raised an eyebrow at Jane. "No wonder the place is dead with staff like that," she whispered._

_He nodded, checking his menu silently before she came back with their drinks. He narrowed his eyes at her and she retreated. "I'll be back in a minute for your order," she said brusquely._

"_Well, come on," she coaxed him when she disappeared. "What's her problem?"_

"_How would I know? I've never been here before," he frowned._

"_Maybe not but you took a good enough look at her when she brought the drinks. You must have got a read off her."_

_He shrugged and took a sip of his iced tea. "No idea, sorry." _

_She was about to leave it when she noticed him tug slightly on his wedding ring after he put his glass back on the table. So that was it. The waitress must have thought that she was Jane's mistress. She'd remembered noticing the tan line on the girl's left hand ring finger. Recently divorced. Obviously he'd cheated on her so her less than enthusiastic welcome to the pair of them. Lisbon inwardly applauded herself with her own reading skills. Not in Jane's league but not bad._

_Jane looked out to sea, his posture suddenly tense and his lips set in a thin line before he turned back to her. "Why don't we go elsewhere? Not much ambience here-"_

"_I don't give a damn what she thinks of me," Lisbon cut in. "And since when do you care what some bitter divorcee thinks? Or anyone else, come to that."_

_He nodded, realising she'd noticed what he had. "I don't but..." He played with his wedding ring. "I don't like anyone thinking of you in those terms. As...some kind of appendage for a man."_

_Lisbon shrugged. "Jane, I'm fine. If it was someone whose opinion I actually did care about then it might be different but it isn't." She smiled warmly at him. "I'm not going to let a two bit waitress spoil our day out."_

_He grinned at her and moved his fingertips closer to hers but not quite touching them. His tone was soft and he looked at the ring on his finger again. "If I took it off then-"_

"_Then it would raise too many red flags. It's okay, I understand." _

_Part of her wished he'd say to hell with it and yank it off his finger but she had a feeling that the threat of Red John wasn't the only reason he was holding back. Inside she knew he wasn't yet ready to remove the ring. She just had to hope that one day in the not too distant future he would be._

_He puffed out a breath in relief. "Thank you." He looked around the terrace and, satisfied they were alone there, leant over and gave her lips the faintest of touches with his own._


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Just to let you know there is a small M rated scene towards the end of the chapter. I've marked it for those who want to skip it. Thank you!**

* * *

Chapter 17 – Secrets &amp; Seduction

_After lunch they went for a walk on the beach in front of the restaurant. "This is nice," Jane said, as he removed his jacket and rolled his shirtsleeves up. He breathed in the warm sea air. _

"_You really love the ocean, don't you?" Lisbon replied at his side, her sandals in her hand. _

"_What's not to love about it?"_

"_Um...sharks, manta rays, drowning-" she began, stopping when Jane started to laugh. "You really are a little ray of sunshine, aren't you?"_

_She smiled back as he stopped walking and laid his jacket on the sand, gesturing for her to sit on it. He took up a position alongside, stretched his legs out in front of him and raised himself up on his elbows, his eyes out to sea. Lisbon sat down and pulled the skirt of her dress over her knees as she too watched the ripple of the waves in front of her. For a few moments neither of them spoke and a comfortable silence washed over them._

_Finally Jane said, "You know we haven't really made much progress on the sharing we promised each other."_

_Lisbon nodded. "Oh, this is the I tell you one thing I consider private and you tell me two in return?"_

"_The very thing. So let's make a start. An easy one for you to begin with."_

"_Okay," Lisbon responded, a little suspicion in her tone._

"_What instrument did you play in high school?"_

_Lisbon turned her head to find him grinning at her. "That's the first question you have for me?"_

"_You know I've always been curious."_

_She rolled her eyes and breathed out. "Fine. Your first guess was actually correct. Clarinet."_

_He moved to a sitting position, studying her face. "But you told me it wasn't."_

"_I lied," she smiled and a look of victory swept across her face._

_He frowned for an instant and then nodded, smiling back. "Yes...you did. Quite effectively. Mmm...I see I'm going to have to be on my toes with you from now on. Who knows what other secrets you have stashed away from me after all?" _

_His tone was teasing and he lay back on the sand and closed his eyes, pulling his hands up to rest his head on, a smile still playing on his lips. Guilt rushed over her at what else she had been keeping from him in more recent times. Her mind told her this was the time to tell him. Now when he was relaxed, comfortable and before they complicated things between them any further. She opened her mouth to speak and found the words stopping in her throat. _

"_What made you choose the clarinet?" he asked, his eyes still closed and unaware of the inner turmoil she was going through._

"_Umm...I didn't really. It kind of picked me. My mother was keen on me learning an instrument and it was the only one we could afford to buy in the pawnbrokers near our house."_

"_Ah. Interesting. Were you any good?"_

_She knew the moment had passed again and chastised herself for the relief that flooded her body along with that realisation. "I was okay I guess. Could hold a tune at least. Haven't played in ages." She took a deep breath. "How about you? Play anything?"_

_He opened his eyes a crack and grinned. "You mean apart from people?" He shrugged. "Meh, not really. I know the basic chords; guess enough to get by in fairly mediocre company but would hardly call myself an expert in the field." He took a breath as if to continue but then closed his mouth and licked his lips slightly, struggling with how to carry on his train of thought._

"_What else?" she prodded as she lay down and faced him. _

_He turned towards her, ran his fingers through the sand in between them, his gaze following the patterns he created. Softly, "Angela played piano. She was quite good."_

_He chanced a nervous glance in her direction, ascertaining if talking about his wife made her feel uncomfortable. While momentarily surprised at his broaching of the subject she nodded and smiled, encouraging him to go on. _

_He swallowed and added, "She was teaching Charlotte to play before..." He swallowed again and a ragged breath escaped his lips. Lisbon touched his hand, tears pricking her eyes. He patted it and took a deep breath. "She was teaching her a tune to play for my next birthday. But obviously I never got to...I never got to hear her play it for me."_

_Lisbon nodded, just holding back her tears. "I wish I knew what to say," she admitted. "I'm...I'm so sorry, Jane."_

_He shrugged, averting his eyes from her that were glassy now and sniffed. "Nothing anyone can say. It's just another moment in a long line of others that he took away from me having." _

_She saw his expression grow cold instantly at the thought of Red John, the hatred he still had for the man blatantly evident. She could see him battling his mixed emotions, the draw of vengeance and darkness beckoning him. "Sorry," he said after a few seconds. He laughed half heartedly. "I promised you fun and romance, not these melancholic ramblings."_

_She spoke sincerely. "You also promised me you. 100 per cent. I'm pleased you feel able to talk to me about this stuff now. I don't need the red roses and caviar."_

_He lightened the atmosphere. "Just as well. Besides you hate caviar and white roses are your favourite, not red."_

_She grinned at him, leant over and pecked his lips quickly. "Know it all." She noticed him freeze almost instantaneously at her touch as his eyes darted from side to side. _

"_Jane, there's no one here. Beach is empty. You're being paranoid."_

"_It's better that I am," he responded, clearly frightened for her safety. Before she could respond he got to his feet and pulled her to hers, his tone light again. "Come on, let's dip our toes in the water and then find a B&amp;B for the night. Think we passed one on the way. Too long a drive back to Sacramento tonight."_

* * *

Lisbon met Jane and Rigsby as they exited the elevator, a stack of brown folders in her arms. She knew immediately the day had been fruitless once again without having to ask. "Got a progress meeting with Wainwright. I'm guessing we have nothing further on the Walker case?"

As she caught Jane's torrid expression she held a hand up. "I'm not trying to pick a fight with you, Jane. Just asking a question."

She glanced at Rigsby who was clearly uncomfortable to be caught in the middle. "Give us a minute, will you Wayne?" she asked.

"Sure, boss," he responded, quickly moving away.

Her tone was quiet but determined. "It's time you told me the truth where this case is concerned, Jane. I've let you run things your way long enough and it's clearly not getting us anywhere."

"That's your opinion," he retorted frostily.

"Yeah, it is," she hissed. "And as your supervisor I want to know what the hell you're actually doing to solve it."

"You know what I've been doing. You make sure to send one of your little spies with me to report back to you every time I'm out of your sight."

"They're my team, Jane. And all they've told me is that you basically question these people yourself and look around their houses. You've shared absolutely no insight with them at what any of them might be hiding or given them any indication if we're getting close. You might as well be investigating on your own."

He shrugged. "I can go to those remaining on the list on my own from now in if you would prefer."

As people were coming and going past them, visibly aware of the conversation becoming more heated she directed him into her office and closed the door behind her, slamming the files down on her desk. He sat on the couch and crossed one leg over the other, a picture of serenity.

"Why did you even want us involved in this? Tell me that."

"I thought you already figured that out in San Francisco. You're good at what you do," he replied calmly.

"Yeah, that was before you got here. If all you needed were for us to run some background checks then I'm sure you could have manipulated Morris into doing that for you. Used your closure rate at the CBI as leverage to help him with his. Instead you dragged me and my team back into whatever petty game you're playing."

At that instant her cell phone rang. She quickly dug it out of her pocket and glanced at the name. She pressed decline and glared at Jane for a response to her question.

"You shouldn't have done that, Walter's not a man who likes to be kept waiting," he smirked.

She drew her head back in surprise. _How the hell did he know it was Walter on the phone? _

"You glanced at the flowers quickly when you noticed the name," he told her without her asking. "Nice display by the way."

The phone in her hand rang again.

"See?" he said smugly, leaning back like he was getting comfortable on the couch. "So, what are you going to do about it?"

"Stay here," she ordered him and went outside her office to take the call.

He watched as she talked on the phone, reading her lips through the glass. So, he'd asked her out Saturday night. She was wavering, blaming work. Then Mashburn must have said something mildly amusing and she smiled. His face fell at the genuineness of it and he puffed out a breath, annoyed she could instil that base reaction from him. She nodded, laughed softly and he knew she'd agreed to go out with him. He saw her mouth the words "just as friends" and he couldn't stop a genuine smile of his own. She wasn't the type to play games, to make him jealous by going out with Mashburn. She was going out with him because she liked him. But only as a friend. He smiled again.

Coming back into the room she saw Jane drop his head and thought she noticed him smiling just before he did so. She frowned, wondering if she had imagined that.

"So, hot date set up, then?" he prodded.

She ignored the question, knowing he was trying to rattle her. She crossed her arms across her chest and leaned with her back to her desk. "What's your end game here, Jane?" she asked quietly.

"Mine? None. Up to you who you decide to date."

She rolled her eyes. "I'm not talking about Walter Mashburn and you know it. The Walker case."

He shrugged nonchalantly. "Same as yours. Catch Janet's killer."

She bit the inside of her cheek, looked away to centre herself before approaching the subject again. "And then?"

"Then?"

"Say we catch him or her. What then?"

"I don't understand where you're going with this, Lisbon."

"Do you plan to kill them when we do?"

He locked eyes with her but said nothing, stalling for time.

"Because you seem to be acting like you did when you...well when you were hunting...-"

"You can mention his name, Lisbon. Red John."

She nodded. "Does he have something to do with this?"

Though he tried to hide it she saw him react that she was correct in her guess. Suddenly pieces of the jigsaw puzzle began to fall into place.

"Why makes you think that?" he asked.

"I've just told you. You haven't given up, have you? When you left you said-"

"I know exactly what I said back then," he bit back.

She sighed loudly. "You know the only thing positive about you leaving was that I thought at least you had stopped hunting him. That you were done with him as much as you were done with me. A small part of me hoped that you were off having a fresh start someplace else. Even if it didn't include me I was happy for you if that had been the case."

He said nothing and she continued, her voice strangely quiet. "But you never were, were you? You were never done. That's why you came back here. Not for me and my team or any help we might give you. But because we have the Red John case and you've found a link between him and Janet Walker."

* * *

_The B&amp;B was a small family run establishment that stuck out on a cliff overlooking the ocean. Jane checked them in as Mr &amp; Mrs Smith and paid cash, winking at Lisbon as he did so. It was partly a joke but it was also his way of protecting any records of them staying here. The owner, a well rounded woman in her late fifties looked at them with a knowing glint in her eye, smiling at Jane when he dazzled her with one of his own. The key was large and made of bronze and Jane slipped it into the bedroom door, pushing it open and gesturing Lisbon to enter first. The bed was high and small, covered in a duvet full of flowers to match the accompanying over the top decor in the room. Flowered wallpaper adorned every wall, making it appear noticeably smaller than it probably was. _

"_Wow, this is quite something," Lisbon smiled. "Reminds me of my grandmother's house." _

_She moved to the large window sill and sat in its alcove, the walls thick enough for her to lean her head against the side as she looked out. A beautiful sunset was just beginning. "Jane, come here and watch," she grinned. _

_Jane put the bags beside the bed and walked over, standing beside her and for a few moments they watched the orange tones together. He glanced down and saw her mesmerised by it. He loved a sunset (but then again, who doesn't he supposed) but at this second was enjoying watching her more. Soft golden rays fell over her cheeks, shadows crossing over them as the sun began its descent. He kissed the top of her head and sat down beside her, moving her legs onto his lap. _

"_You're missing it," she said, as he faced her and not the direction of the sun. _

"_I've seen sunsets before. Will again. But I'll never relive this moment." _

_His tone was soft, almost reverential and she swallowed. "Keep watching it," he added as he gently removed her sandals and concentrated on the leg furthest from his lap, drawing his fingertips slowly from her ankle to her kneecap. Her breathing hitched but her eyes remained on the sun in front of her, afraid that if she looked at him she would lose her resolve not to push him further than he was ready, to allow him to set the pace. _

"_I appreciate you shaving these last night," he smiled, his voice amused but light. He continued to caress her bare leg, smooth strokes leaving trails of fire in their wake. "Have I told you how much I liked this dress?" he stated, moving his fingers to the hem that sat at her knee. _

"_You almost burned my kitchen down because of it," Lisbon replied, surprised how even her voice sounded as her heart hammered._

_He chuckled lightly and raised her leg, kissing her ankle with the barest of touches. She closed her eyes, wondering what sex was going to be like as she almost lost it by that touch alone. He kissed it again, trailing kisses where his fingers had just been, each one fanning a fire in her belly. She opened her eyes, chanced a glance as his golden locks shone as the last remnants of sun hit the day, curls tumbling slightly as he moved his head to kiss another patch of skin. She concentrated on the sunset again, trying to stop herself from dragging his lips from her leg to her mouth, to push him against the opposing wall and seduce him. He reached the hem of her dress again and pushed it up slightly, kissing a spot just above her knee before sitting up again. Then he turned his attention to her other leg, providing it with the same ministrations. Lisbon could barely see the sunset as her vision became cloudy with lust. _

_**M rated scene**_

_He stood up from the window sill and she looked at him, asking him silently if he was finished, sure there was disappointment in her face. He shot her a smirk and moved her right leg against the window, settling himself back on the sill again in front of her. He moved closer to her, his hand on her left thigh that was now hanging over his thigh and began to kiss her neck, slowly and languidly. Her breathing increased as he pushed the fabric of the dress further up and she arched into him, her head leaning against the cold wall behind her, her eyes were tightly closed now, her breathing ragged as he moved his fingers higher. He kissed her lips, desperately and passionately and she moaned in delight, one hand attaching itself to his curls and the other its palm pressed against the window as she kissed him back. He inched his fingers closer to where she wanted them, almost begging him to give her what she needed in this instant. Reading her thoughts he moved his hand higher and pressed his thumb against the soft cotton of her panties, circling it slowly and deliberately. She gasped, grabbing his hair tighter in the process, kissing him like it was her dying wish, grinding against his hand. He moved the cotton aside and added a finger, felt her muscles contract almost immediately. _

"_Jane!" she gasped, as erratic breaths took over. He devoured her neck at the sound of his name, groaning as he continued to arouse her further. She opened her eyes, saw the last rays of sun sink into the sea below and as he pushed her over the edge she shuddered, biting her lip to stop herself crying out, the sunset suddenly becoming unimaginably clear as she watched it, the side of her head pressed to the window, the coldness of the glass contradictory to the heat rushing through the rest of her body. As her body began to come down from its high he moved his kisses to her earlobe, kissed the skin behind her ear as he unexpectedly pressed another finger into her. This time she was unable to hold back a scream as another wave coursed through her as his tongue ravished the sensitive spot at the back of her ear. Finally he dipped his head to her shoulder, slowly removed his fingers and breathed heavily. _

_**M scene over**_

_He kissed a spot on her neck quickly as he drew back from her. She turned her head towards him, blinked rapidly. He grinned as she became embarrassed almost instantly. He took her hand and kissed it. "Okay?" he asked quietly._

_She frowned for a moment, unsure of the question he was asking. Was he asking if she was feeling okay or if what he'd just done was okay? When she saw the look of apprehension cross his features she forgot about her own sense of shyness that he'd witnessed her act in such an intimate way. She laughed and leant over to kiss him. "More than okay," she grinned. _

_He puffed out a breath. "Well, it has been a while," he shrugged. _


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18 – Regret &amp; Rendezvous

The knock on Lisbon's door stopped their conversation. Cho entered. "Caught one in Fresno," he said, glancing at them both as Lisbon continued to stare at Jane.

"Boss?" he said, finally gaining her attention.

"You better get to that," Jane replied blankly, his eyes still fixed to hers.

Lisbon turned her consideration to Cho and cleared her throat. "Right. Thanks, Cho. Get the team ready, I'll be right there."

After he left she regarded Jane again. "We're far from done with this conversation," she said as she swept out of the room.

She closed the door behind her and Jane shut his eyes, settling back on the couch. "Of that I am certain," he sighed.

* * *

When she returned to the office a few hours later Jane was nowhere to be found. "Damn coward," she muttered under her breath. He ignored her call and she sat at her desk, her head in her hands.

A small part of her had foolishly hoped that he had come back for her and not just because of the case he wanted their help with. That perhaps somewhere buried within his ire he had missed her but was too stubborn and angry to actually admit that. That Janet Walker's death was in some ways a ruse to come back to her. She laughed mirthlessly, opening a folder in front of her. It was ruse all right but as usual his priority was Red John. She corrected herself almost immediately. There was a time when she had been his priority and not him. Or perhaps that was all a deception too. She wasn't sure of anything anymore. She stared at the folder in front of her but couldn't focus on it and closed it again quickly. A thought struck her and on a whim she went to the storeroom.

She went to where the Red John files resided, a large area near the back. Jane was sitting on the floor, a box opened beside him as he flipped through the contents. He nodded when he saw her, obviously expecting her arrival before going back to the folder in front of him. "How was Fresno?" he asked casually.

She rolled her eyes and took up residence beside him, noticing him move slightly away from her when she sat down, obviously uncomfortable being in such close proximity to her. To annoy him further she reached across him and pulled a folder from the file box, smiling slightly as she heard him intake a breath. At least she knew there still was a red blooded man somewhere underneath his decidedly frosty exterior.

"Suicide, thank god," she muttered, stretching her legs out in front of her, her back to the metal racks containing file boxes behind.

He turned his head and raised an eyebrow, a small smirk on his lips. "Thought your god didn't take kindly to people who decided to kill themselves. Yet you're thanking him for it."

She blushed, her heart beginning to race as she looked into his sea green eyes, the quietness and semi darkness of the storeroom suddenly making this moment incredibly intimate. "You know what I mean. Case closed quickly. Keeps Wainwright off my back. Besides, you don't even believe _He_ exists."

"True, but that didn't stop me screaming his name a fair few times when we were in bed together," he said evenly, watching her for her reaction.

She blinked rapidly and opened her mouth at his outrageous statement and he laughed, turning back to the folder in front of him. He was trying to unbalance her, disrupt her thoughts entirely. "As I recall you were pretty devout in your worship of him back then too," he continued, his tone utterly conversational. "Have to admit I was perturbed on occasions he seemed to get more credit for what I was doing than I actually did."

Lisbon took a breath and cleared her mind of the images rushing through it. "Stop trying to shock and distract me talking like that. So, obviously I was right earlier as we're both sitting here. What are we looking for? What's the connection?"

"Hmm?" he asked, studying a typed form.

She grabbed it out of his hand to get him to look at her. "You know every inch of these files. You've probably read that piece of paper twenty times alone. Why are we in here going through the Red John files on a Friday night?"

"Well, I don't have much of a life. That's my reason. You? I don't know. I'm sure Mashburn would have jumped at the chance to take you out this evening."

He tried to contain it but she saw a hint of jealousy in his expression. "There's nothing going on between me and Walter," she said softly. "He's...he's just a friend now."

"So were we once," he countered. In the muted light his defences were shattering as he stared into her eyes, his heart rate picking up. He'd mentioned their intimate history to rattle her but it had also made him recall the passion they shared back then too.

She nodded, looking down, needing to avert her eyes as the temptation to kiss him beckoned. "Yeah, and we screwed it up by becoming more than that."

"You regret all of it?" he enquired quietly, unable to stop himself asking the question.

She looked back up at him, lines in his face more prominent as he frowned, awaiting an answer. She shook her head almost imperceptibly. "It would almost be easier if I did," she whispered.

"Do you?" she asked softly. "Regret everything...I mean?"

He swallowed a lump in his throat, his eyes moving to her lips, enticing him to close the gap between them. Over a year since he'd felt their softness, tasted her peppermint lip balm, experienced them clenched around him as he dragged his hands through her hair, only his ragged breaths filling the air between them as she brought him to elation and made him pant her name.

A noise from the other side of the room broke the moment and Lisbon turned her head quickly, swallowing a breath of her own. Another agent nodded to them and got a folder from a box further up the storeroom. By the time he'd exited Lisbon was on her feet. "No more distractions. What's the connection between Red John and Walker?" she asked again, her voice stern but a little shaky.

* * *

"_I'm just going to have shower," Jane said quietly as he moved from the window sill. "Got sand everywhere," he laughed._

"_Oh, okay," Lisbon said. For a second she wondered if he wanted her to join him, to move on from where he'd just taken things between them. _

_It must have read across her face when he replied, "Would you mind getting the sandwiches from Mrs Sanders?" _

_The lady who owned the guesthouse told them she'd be happy to provide sandwiches for their supper if they required when they checked in and as they didn't feel like driving to another restaurant they'd made the request and told her they'd call down later to collect them. _

"_Sure, no problem," Lisbon smiled, getting up from the window sill, moving her back slightly to work out a kink from it, slightly sore from the angle she'd been sitting/almost lying in. _

_Jane pulled her into his arms and massaged it for her for a moment. "I'll be happy to continue this later for you, if you'd like," he smiled, kissing her._

"_Only if you let me do the same," she responded, a suggestive twinkle in her eyes. _

_He laughed, blushed furiously, "Who knows, we'll see," he said quietly, moving his arms away and kissing her forehead. "Meet you back here," he added, before getting his overnight bag and entering the adjoining bathroom. _

_When he closed the door behind him she frowned, wishing he'd let her in a little more and allow her reciprocate the affection he was clearly enjoying showing to her. _

* * *

_When Jane got out of the shower he wrapped a towel around his waist and began to shave carefully. He grinned when he recalled again what had occurred earlier, machismo swelling in him. He chuckled lightly at that fact. He was about as far removed as any type of macho jerk as there could be but a part of him wanted to walk into CBI immediately and fist pump Cho. It had been absolutely delightful and powerful to have Lisbon gasping like that. He intended on making her feel that way at every opportunity she would allow him. She wanted more from him, that was obvious but, even more than that, she also wanted to show him how much she wanted him too even if he wasn't quite ready to have sex with her yet. She was right to want that, deserved to but he wasn't sure how much he was ready to show of himself to her just yet. It was a quandary he didn't yet have the answer to and he was unsure when he'd be ready to cross that line._

_He heard the bedroom door opening and she called through the door to the bathroom. "Jane?"_

"_Yeah, I'll be right out," he shouted, picking up the pace to finish off his shave quickly._

_She continued, her voice light and amused, "Mrs Sanders was a little disappointed I went to get the sandwiches, her face dropped that I wasn't and I quote 'that gorgeous blond Adonis of yours'." _

"_You should be careful where my ego is concerned, woman. It's already the size of a castle." _Even more so after earlier_ he inwardly added, grinning widely. _

"_I didn't say it! Nor did I agree with it!" she giggled. _

_He opened the door a fraction and dazzled her with the smile on his lips._

_Her eyes trailed over his bare chest, droplets of water caught on the small patch of hair at the centre of it. Her gaze went to his stomach, surprisingly toned for someone who spent their days resting on a couch. He wasn't muscled but he certainly wasn't flabby either. She licked her lips and brought her gaze back to his face, an amused smile now playing on his lips. "And they see we men see women as pieces of meat sometimes," he teased._

_She blushed furiously and looked away. "Well then put a damn shirt on, will you?" she admonished. _

* * *

_After eating their sandwiches and watching some TV they got into bed. "Now, try not to turf me out on the other side tonight. This bed's smaller than yours," he laughed before yawning loudly._

_She slipped in the other side. "I'll do my best. Have you taken too much out of yourself today?" she asked, sliding towards him as he put his arm out and curling it around her so her head could rest on his chest, feeling partly responsible for some of his most recent exertions._

_He kissed her head. "I'm fine. Feel better than I have in ages. Just tired." He yawned again to make his point. He was exhausted but his body responded to hers snuggled into him all the same. He closed his eyes and concentrated his thoughts elsewhere. _

"_I'm sorry about this morning," she said quietly, better able to express her embarrassment of that moment under cover of darkness._

"_You have nothing to be sorry for," he replied. "I'm just...well for now it seems easier for me to give and well... more difficult to receive something back."_

"_Hmm. I've noticed. Because you're a control freak," she stated._

"_Excuse me, y__ou'r__e calling _me_ a control freak?" _

_She shrugged. "We both are. What are you afraid of? Do you feel guilty for taking this step with me? Does a part of you regret your decision?"_

_He shook his head. "It's not guilt." He paused for a second. "Okay, maybe part of it is guilt. And that has nothing to do with you. I'm bound to feel some guilt no matter who...well no matter who was first after..." He cleared his throat. "And I don't regret this. How could I? This...this is the best and most amazing thing that's happened to me in a very long time. Just give me some more time, okay?" he asked softly._

_She moved up and kissed him, her hand caressing the smoothness of his chin. "As long as you need."_

_He kissed her back, his hand moving under her jersey, stroking the soft skin below. "You do know I want to, don't you? That I want you? That...well that that is certainly not the issue."_

_She nodded mutely as she saw the passion in his eyes. He moved her onto her back and she felt the evidence of it as they turned. He kissed her deeply before moving further down her body with gentle kisses. When he got to her stomach he began to move her jersey higher, kissing the skin there. She closed her eyes and felt him move his kisses lower, her body screaming out for him to continue but her brain winning over it on this occasion. She stilled his hands and then lifted his chin towards her. "Jane, you don't have to prove to me you're some kind of stud. You're exhausted. Get some sleep."_

"_You don't want me to?" he asked, uncertainty in his expression._

"_Of course I do but you need your rest at this moment more. You're beat."_

_He chuckled lightly, pressing a kiss to her belly button before rolling back to other side. She was absolutely correct. If he continued like this he'd be back in hospital with exhaustion. "Okay, but there'll be no getting out of it come morning," he smiled._

_She bent over and kissed him. "Then we better get some sleep first...Patrick."_

_His eyes widened at how seductively she'd just said his first name, all breathy and alluring and so unlike her normal no nonsense manner. She grinned in victory. "Good luck sleeping now," she laughed, turning over on her side away from him._

"_I always knew you were a wicked woman deep down, Teresa Lisbon," he sighed, draping a hand across her waist. They grinned as she intertwined their fingers together._

* * *

"You're not going to let this go, are you?" he sighed in exasperation as he got to his feet, both from her determination to get an answer from him combined with her unerring though unplanned ability to dredge up memories he'd rather keep at bay.

"Would you in my place?"

He rolled his eyes. "Suppose not." He finally nodded his head. "Okay, but not here. Too many eyes and ears. Meet me at our usual diner in thirty minutes." He trailed his eyes over her appearance indifferently. "You've look like you could do with a burger," he uttered as he walked past her.

She smiled faintly at his attempt to make sure she ate regularly although he disguised it with hostility and his choice of venue made her heart skip a beat.

* * *

They had come to the diner many times when they were together. It was out of the way and now lay off a main road out of Sacramento, trade falling off as a bypass had been built a couple of years before. Sometimes they were the only two people there and felt more able to hold hands occasionally or just look affectionately at each other, to almost act like any other normal couple. As Jane drove up to it memories came to him of hours spent here, eating, talking and sharing ice cream sundaes, of him performing card tricks for the waitresses, bored from the lack of customers. Why he'd mentioned coming here to meet her he didn't know, it was their usual meeting spot away from the CBI and he'd said the words automatically with no thought of consequences behind them. But as he locked his car door behind him he was nervous of what feelings might be dredged up by being in this place with her again now. _Damn._

When he entered the once familiar establishment a bleach blonde waitress in her late fifties lifted her head from the paper she was reading at the sound of the bell on the door. "Patrick!" she exclaimed, immediately rushing over and embracing him in a bear hug.

"Marcie," he responded, trying to release himself from her vice like grip. He smiled at her and kissed her on the cheek. "How are you? Been a while," he said evenly. She was an amazingly affectionate woman, married for over thirty years to her childhood sweetheart with five children and two grandchildren she doted on. She was incredibly nosy but got away with it with her warmth and unconcealed kindness. He asked, "Any more grandkids since I've seen you?"

"Two more would you believe." She immediately searched her pockets for photos and shoved them into his hand. Two dark haired cherubs stared back at him. "Beautiful," he said genuinely.

As he looked at the photographs she glanced over his shoulder. "So stranger...are you alone?" she asked, not hiding the fact she was searching for Lisbon.

"Um...no. Well, that is-"

He was immediately embraced again. "Thank the Lord! I was worried you two might have broken up or something. You were such a cute couple." She whacked him playfully on the arm. "So why'd the pair of you stop coming here? This place get a little too down market for you?" she smiled.

As she saw his face fall hers did too. "Oh, god, me and my big mouth! I'm sorry. I assumed-"

"No, I am meeting Teresa. It's not that. It's just well-"

"You did break up," she stated. "So, what's this? Decided to try things again? Come back here to stir up a few memories, see if it helps grease the wheels?" she smirked.

He had already been thinking it but her words only cemented his feeling that suggesting coming here had categorically been one of the worst and least thought out invitations he'd ever made.

"Not quite," he smiled, giving nothing away. The headlights of Lisbon's car stopped any further conversing on the matter and Jane took a deep breath as Marcie pushed him into what used to be 'their' booth.

"I'll be back in a minute with your tea and her coffee, hun," she whispered loudly, patting him affectionately on the shoulder. "Got a pecan pie with your name on it too and some Mississippi mud for your girl for afters," she added, grinning as she walked away. "That should put you on the right track."

"Dear god," Jane muttered when she was out of earshot. Bad enough the team trying to get them back together. Now he was solely responsible for another do gooder getting in on the act.

As the bell sounded and saw Lisbon receive the same treatment from Marcie that he had he couldn't suppress a small smile. At least Lisbon looked as much, if not more, uncomfortable with the surreal situation they'd found themselves in as he was.

* * *

**A/N: So, this is a little of a filler chapter I think but there will be plenty more drama and romance ahead and very shortly too. And I haven't forgotten about a Mashburn/Jane/Lisbon scene. It is coming I assure you!**

**And I apologise for not updating Destinies for a little while. I'm on holiday at present so more than likely won't have the time to do so with that story or any of my others until I return home next week. But if I find time and some inspiration (and some wifi) then you never know. **


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: There is some rather mild M rated material in this chapter. I've marked it accordingly. And I wanted to say a huge thank you to all of you who take the time to post a review. It really does make all the difference knowing I have people who are enjoying reading this. This chapter is a little shorter than usual but I will attempt to make the next one longer. Hope to have another chapter up by the weekend. And I was emotionally drained after writing the last part so thought it was a good point to take a break.**

* * *

Chapter 19 – Exposed

Lisbon shuffled into the booth having just escaped Marcie's arms. She glared at Jane and shook her head. "Why'd you have to suggest meeting here?" she hissed. "I'd forgotten how tight that woman's grip is."

"Obviously I wasn't thinking," he said evenly as he perused the menu.

"No kidding." Absently she glanced at the menu but she also looked at the red leather booths and black and while tiled floor around her. Apart from an elderly couple a few tables away they were the only people there apart from the staff. "I see trade hasn't picked up any."

Jane put his menu down and nodded, looking around. "Surprised they're still open after all this time. Must be some kind of tax dodge." His eyes fell to the Wurlitzer jukebox at the far end of the room. He smiled faintly, remembering how he'd made Lisbon dance here on a few occasions when there was no one around. He'd even grabbed Marcie for a fast jive a couple of times just to see Lisbon doubled over laughing at the sight.

When he glanced back he found Lisbon staring at him. Her knowing soft smile made him realise he'd just given his rambling thoughts away. "No," he said quietly after a moment.

She frowned immediately. "No to what?"

"To your earlier question. No. I don't regret everything."

She couldn't read his expression, his face neutral as he'd uttered the words but her breath caught in her throat as they locked eyes. At that moment Jane sat back, having heard Marcie approach with their drinks. He smiled effortlessly at her, mask back in place as she put his tea in front of him. "Thanks Marcie."

"You're very welcome Patrick. Just how you used to like it."

She placed Lisbon's coffee down and Lisbon thanked her as the waitress got out her pad. "So, what can I get you?"

Jane nodded for Lisbon to go first.

"Ah...I'll just have a salad thanks. No dressing."

Jane rolled his eyes. "Oh for god's sake Lisbon, get a burger, will you? A little red meat won't kill you."

Marcie grinned at him and winked at Lisbon. "He's right, honey. There's hardly anything to you." She leaned down to her ear and said in what she thought was a whisper but loud enough for Jane to hear, "Men like their women with a little meat on their bones."

She nudged a now blushing Lisbon with her own rather hefty arm. "Believe me, sweetie. Been married over thirty years and my Tony has never had any complaints in that department. More to hold on, you know what I mean?"

At the last remark an already smirking Jane began to laugh into his teacup, spilling it slightly onto the saucer. Lisbon looked at him beseechingly and he grinned back. She rolled her eyes at him and cleared her throat, turning to Marcie. "Fine. Burger would be great," she said barely looking at her as she pushed the menu back into her hands, deciding to look out the window to the side instead to cover her embarrassment.

"Chicken club on rye with fries," Jane ordered when Marcie finished writing Lisbon's order on her pad, smiling proudly and winking at him conspiratorially before she left them again.

"Tell me, why the hell did we ever come here?" Lisbon asked, her face still slightly red but smiling now.

Jane laughed and Lisbon's face lit up at the sound, the first she'd seen him with his guard fully down since he'd been back. It had been well worth her mortification. He sighed afterwards and ran a hand through his hair, acknowledging to himself how nice it was to laugh genuinely for a few moments with her, to feel that connection again. He looked into his teacup and shook his head. "It's quite hard staying mad at you, you know that?"

"Yeah, well you've been managing it pretty well up until now," she countered, wrapping her hands around her coffee mug. She took a deep breath. "Red John and Janet Walker. What's going on, Jane?"

* * *

_**Mild M section start**_

_Lisbon awoke to Jane's kisses on her shoulder, bared as the jersey had fallen from it during the night. He moved on to her neck, nuzzling it gently._

"_Good morning," he breathed, draping an arm across her waist and caressing the smoothness of her flat stomach as he inched the hem of her top up. His fingers moved towards the underside of her breast, barely touching it as he kissed her earlobe. She turned her head and sighed contentedly, her hand ruffling his hair. _

"_Morning," she said, before angling her head to kiss him on the lips. For a few moments they lost themselves in languid kisses as Jane traced her breast with his fingertips lightly before squeezing it softly, his thumb gently arousing it. She moaned into his mouth and clasped her hand to his upper arm, deepening the kiss as he continued his teasing movements._

_After a few seconds more he pulled back and grinned at her. "I believe we have some unfinished business to attend to," he said in a low voice, almost gravelly in its nature as his eyes penetrated hers. _

_She bit her lip and played with his hair. "Well, only if you insist."_

_He laughed softly and pulled the covers back quickly, moving with speed to kneel between her knees. "Now, let's see if I can remember how this works," he said, tapping an index finger to his lips, pretending to be contemplating how to continue. _

_She giggled and sat up to kiss him. "You need some directions?"_

_He kissed her back quickly before pushing her back onto the pillows. "No, like most people I don't like back seat drivers."_

"_You mean like most men you pretend to know the way and won't ask for help if they get lost." _

_He grinned salaciously at her, moving her legs apart and placed his hands on her ankles before running his fingers up them towards her inner thighs. "Tell you what, if you think I need help, tell me. But I'm pretty sure you won't be capable of talking coherently for much longer."_

"_Big talk," she laughed._

_He laughed back and then in a swift movement pulled her legs towards him, making her yelp in surprise. He kissed her right inner thigh lightly and then proceeded to do the same with her left, his hands moving towards her breasts. As he continued to slowly make his ascent with his mouth Lisbon's cell phone began to ring. "Leave it," he said immediately, his voice muffled by his position._

_**Mild M section end**_

_Lisbon, who had began to pant slightly and who had closed her eyes jolted at the sound. "I can't Jane, must be work at this hour." She wriggled further up the bed and Jane sighed, puffing out a breath as he got off the bed. She looked at the phone and nodded to him, rolling her eyes. "It's Wainwright," she whispered._

_He cocked an eyebrow. "Ah...you do realise he can't actually hear you until you answer it?" he smirked._

_Another eyeroll later she did just that. As the conversation continued he knew it was a case and that it was serious. He began to get dressed, knowing their weekend was effectively ruined. As she talked she went into the bathroom and started the shower, in full Agent mode again as she hung up. "Ten year old kid's missing. Team are already on the way. Sac PD"s asked for our help. Father has some political connections."_

_Any annoyance he felt in them having to cut their leisure time short immediately disappeared with that news. "I'm coming with you."_

* * *

He sighed loudly, serious again. "Okay. I believe she knew him."

He stopped and took a sip of tea and she leaned forward, gesturing for him to continue. "I believe he's a client of hers," he added.

She swallowed down the anger she felt in him only sharing this news with her now. "Well, that's great. Just over two hundred people. It'll take a while to go through them but it's closer than we've ever got."

"Hmm. It is. Slow though."

She moved back against the booth, puzzled. "But how do you know this for sure?"

He shrugged. "Reliable information."

Frustrated by few word answers she replied, "Jane. We're going to be here all night if you don't get to the point. What reliable information? From who?"

"Janet Walker."

As she was about to fly off the handle again he put a hand up to stop her. "The less you know the better."

Her ire rising at his refusal to say more she shook her head, "No. It's not going to work like that. Not like it used to be where you told me nothing and I was just supposed to go along with things. Not now. And certainly not about Red John."

He laughed at her. "Why? What are you going to do? Torture me? Beat the truth out of me like you've always threatened to?"

She regarded him with a steely gaze, past the point of anger as he treated her like the pushover she had always been. "No. But what I can do is inform Wainwright that you've told me there's a link. What I can do is take my team off the Walker case. What I can do is ask the FBI to take over both. They've been trying to get hold of the Red John case for years. Maybe it's time to let them have it."

He narrowed his eyes at her, studying her face to ascertain if she was bluffing. "You don't want the Red John case to go to the Feds anymore than I do."

"Well, if you're going to tell me nothing that can help me solve it then why the hell not?"

He leaned across the table. Menacingly, "Red John is mine. Not yours and certainly not the goddamned Feds."

She scoffed and looked out the window, her eyes growing glassy as she shook her head slowly. She said nothing for a second. Then she spoke, quietly but with conviction. "And there he is." Her gaze remained fixed on the dark parking lot outside.

"What are you talking about? There is who?" he frowned.

She returned his stare, her eyes sad and weary. "Someone I haven't seen in a very long time." She paused for a moment as his frown deepened. "The real Patrick Jane. Not the imposter that slept in my bed."

He blinked at her words, stinging him to his core. Before he could respond she got up from the booth and threw some money down. "I'm not hungry anymore. Tell Marcie I'm sorry."

"Lisbon," he said, standing up, but unable to move his feet towards her, to stop her from leaving or to say another word other than her name.

"Don't worry," she said dispassionately, glancing back. "I won't tell Wainwright or have the case moved to the Feds. I'll leave you to your obsession and let you keep your little secrets. Do whatever the hell you like. Hope they keep you warm at night. I'm done caring."

* * *

**A/N: Okay, so quite a sad ending to this chapter after its initial fluffiness. But there are better times ahead, past and present, I promise so please don't give up and keep reading! And is Lisbon really done with Jane and the Red John case? Well, of course not...**


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Thanks again to all the wonderful reviews to the last chapter. I was a little nervous of what the reaction would be to Lisbon's outburst at the end. This chapter includes, yes yet another, M rated scene. I'm getting a little tired writing them so you must be getting a little tired reading them! But it's a pretty important scene so couldn't really tell the story without it. But feel free to skip, I've marked it accordingly. **

**And for those following my story Vegas Variation I've worked out how I'm going to finish it and can't wait to get it down on paper so I'll be focusing on that story next.**

* * *

Chapter 20 – Moving On

Jane watched her drive away from the diner; saw her swipe a stray tear from her eye in annoyance as the headlights of her car illuminated her features as she reversed it out of the parking lot. He had never seen her look at him like that. In all the years he knew her she had never been as detached as she spoke to him, as apathetic. She looked tired and weary, beaten down.

Uncaring. The word left a bitter taste in his mouth as he thought it. He never imagined using that word to describe her. He felt bile rise in him that he had been the one to cause him to choose that word.

And as he finished his tea with a shaky hand he knew he only had himself to blame. He'd finally pushed her to her limit. There was only so much secrecy and deception any person could take and Saint Teresa was no exception. In their year apart she'd rebuilt the defences he'd pulled down to castle proportions. More guarded than ever. Especially with him. And as much as she'd lied to him, he leaving her so abruptly had caused any trust she had in him to shatter too.

He felt no relief that she was letting the Red John connection go, that she would allow him free rein over the Walker case. He was used to her as the angel on his shoulder for years, the one who kept trying to steer him down a path away from darkness. And without her...without her...

He heard a noise from the kitchen, spurring him into action. He wasn't ready to face Marcie or anyone else with questions to her sudden disappearance. He quickly threw some money on the table and rushed to his car. As he drove away he smiled faintly. Perhaps Marcie would think passion got the better of them and they'd taken off to bed each other.

Instead they were further apart than ever.

He pulled his car over to the side of the road a few minutes later, tears blurring his vision. After wiping them away in frustration, a singular thought ran through his head.

She had been wrong about one thing.

He started the engine and pursed his lips as he drove towards her condo.

* * *

"_You sure you're ready to go back to work?" Lisbon asked as they approached the Jensen residence, a detached property on the outskirts of Sacramento. She showed her badge to the officer posted at the gate and made their way up the drive, lush gardens on either side of the path. _

"_Yeah, I'm fine. Kid's missing," he replied as an explanation. _

_Her team were already there and she saw Wainwright near the door. "Oh, god," she said quietly, hoping her boss wouldn't recognise any difference to her and Jane's relationship. _

_Jane chanced a smile. "Just act normal with him, Lisbon. Everything's going to be fine."_

_She rolled her eyes, blushing furiously._

_He chuckled as he got out of the vehicle. "I'm not about to ravish you in those bushes over there," he said. He leaned down and whispered in her ear. "I'll save any ravishing until after we've found the child."_

_As she gaped at him they caught up with Cho and Rigsby first. "Jane! Welcome back, man!" Rigsby smiled, patting him on the shoulder. Cho looked Jane up and down and nodded curtly. "You don't look any worse for wear."_

_Jane smiled despite the circumstances. "Good to be back, guys, thanks for the get well soon cards although I suppose I should thank Van Pelt since neither of you actually bought them, you just signed your names."_

_Rigsby reddened slightly and Cho's lips upturned slightly. "See almost dying hasn't changed you much then," Cho said._

_Jane made sure not to look at Lisbon but grinned. "Well, I wouldn't say that exactly."_

_Wainwright approached them. "Jane! You're back, glad to see it. How are you feeling?"_

"_Pretty good, Luther," he grinned. "Lisbon took me out to get some fresh air yesterday, did me the world of good." He nodded towards her, "She got a little colour in her cheeks too." He glanced at her, amused, "I must say, Lisbon, you look more refreshed than I've ever seen you. You have that unmistakeable air of someone fully rested and sated."_

_She smiled and laughed nervously, her eyes telling him she would kill him later._

_Wainwright looked between them for a moment, a line between his eyes. He shook his head slightly. "Well, that's...um...well that's good to hear." He focussed on Jane. "Because we need your help on this one."_

_As they entered the house Wainwright filled them in on the case. Jake Jensen, ten years old was reported missing by his father the evening before. He was a lone parent, his wife having died two years prior. They had two other children, both boys aged fourteen and twelve. A search had been made of the property by Sac PD but there had been no trace found of the youngster and the grounds were now being searched for his whereabouts._

"_You think he could be hiding somewhere, got in trouble with his dad and now he's too frightened to reveal himself because of the fuss?" Lisbon asked as they walked across the panelled hallway._

"_It's a theory," Wainwright agreed. "But the fact he still hasn't been found ten hours later isn't a good sign."_

"_Kids get hungry" Jane nodded. "He'd have made an appearance by now if he was still in the house or the grounds. Unless-"_

"_Precisely," Wainwright interrupted. The three walked in solemn silence, each pondering the same reason why a child would not come out of a hiding place - because they could not._

"_Father's in there," the boss said, pointing to a lavish sitting room. "Go talk to him; see what you make of him. I'll go see how the search is going."_

"_There's a lake out back," Lisbon said quietly, drawing his attention to it before he left, as she looked through the windows of the room they were entering. _

"_Yeah, I know. If we find nothing in the next hour we're going to consider dredging it," Wainwright nodded. "Let's hope it won't come to that."_

_Before he could get away Jane touched his arm. "Where are the other kids?"_

"_Upstairs in their rooms. Neighbour's sitting with them."_

"_He doesn't have a nanny or someone to help with them?" Jane frowned._

_The other man shook his head. "Apparently not. Economy's been tough on him by all accounts. This place may look spectacular but house is mortgaged to the hilt."_

"_Hmm. Interesting," Jane murmured as Wainwright left the room, taking a call._

"_What is?" Lisbon asked, seeing the familiar face of Patrick Jane, the cogs in his brain spinning as he theorised internally. "What? Oh, nothing most probably" he smiled. "Let's go talk to him, shall we?_"

* * *

_As they talked to John Jensen Jane lingered in the background, listening intently to every word but his eyes falling over photographs and ornaments in the room. The man sat with his head in his hands. "I went to check on him before I went to bed but he wasn't there," he told Lisbon who sat opposite him. "So I checked everywhere I could think of. And...well when I couldn't find him I called you people."_

"_Has he run off before?" she asked._

"_No. Never. He's a little...um...precocious I guess you could say. A little more full of energy than my other two but no, nothing like that."_

_As she continued questioning him Jane strolled out of the room and made his way upstairs. He found the other two boys playing with a deck of cards as a woman in her early fifties sat on a chair in the room, reading a book. Jane produced his laminate and showed it to her. "I'm with the CBI, mind giving me a minute?" he smiled._

"_Um...well I'm not supposed to leave them."_

"_Oh, it'll be fine," he assured her. "Won't take a minute." He charmed her with another smile and she flushed slightly. _

"_Well, boys okay if I leave you with-?"_

"_Patrick Jane," he smiled, shaking her hand. _

_The boys merely shrugged in response, their eyes on the game in front of them._

_The woman laughed nervously and exited the room. "I'll wait next door," she blushed._

_Jane knelt down on the floor beside them, noticing the elder boy move away slightly as he sat down. "So, what are we playing?" he said cheerfully._

* * *

_Lisbon finished the questioning with the father and went in search of Jane. Nothing ever changes she mused as he had performed another disappearing act. A boy's laughter caught her attention and she smiled, knowing exactly where he was. She found him sitting cross legged with two boys playing cards. _

"_Oh, hey Lisbon!" he smiled. "Henry, Kevin, this is my good friend Teresa."_

_Two boys with dark hair and dark eyes stared up at her. "Hi," they said nervously._

_She beamed a smile back. "Hi, guys, what are you playing?"_

"_Patrick's showing us how to play poker," Henry, the younger one enthused._

"_Is he now?" she replied, raising an eyebrow._

"_Kid's a natural," Jane smiled, winking at her. He patted down his pockets. "This one's cleaned me out."_

_Henry laughed as Jane threw another hand, jumping up slightly in excitement as he gathered his winnings consisting of chocolate coins. As the boy jumped up Jane's eyes went to Lisbon's immediately, all humour gone and Lisbon's smile faded as she nodded imperceptibly at him as she recognised what he already had._

"_Well, looks like I'm out of stakes," he said brightly to the boys after a beat. He got to his feet and guided Lisbon out of the room._

_She took a deep breath after he closed the door. "Oh, god no," she said, shaking her head._

"_You saw it? That bruise on his side?"_

"_Yeah, and the cut at the centre of it."_

"_It's the shape of-"_

"_John Jensen's sovereign ring," she finished for him. "He's beating his kids."_

"_And we both know what that more than likely means."_

_She nodded, unable to look in his direction. "Yeah, that son of a bitch downstairs killed his own son."_

"_You okay?" he asked softly, knowing this case would invoke strong memories for her of her own childhood._

_She looked him straight in the eyes, determined. "Of course," she replied. "Now, let's go and get a confession and find out what he did with the poor kid."_

* * *

_It took Jane less than ten minutes for Jensen to confess to what he'd did. Crying, he'd said the boy was rattling around his office and kept hitting a ball against a wall there. After yelling at him a few times Jensen's patience broke and he'd taken the ball and smacked it against his head. _

"_I...I didn't mean to kill him," he sobbed. "I just wanted him to stop."_

"_Yeah?" Jane glared, "And what about your other kids? You got a bunch of excuses why you hit them too?"_

"_Um...I..." he shook his head._

"_Oh, stop your damn crying. You're not a man at all, are you? Taking out your frustration at your business going under at your own children." He stood up and shook his head. "You're despicable. Hope the other inmates in Folsom give you a taste of your own medicine in prison."_

"_Jane," Lisbon intervened, placing a hand on his. "Take a break." While she couldn't agree more with his sentiments she needed to find out where he'd stashed the body. "Mr Jensen, where did you put him?" she asked softly, holding her temper back. "He deserves to be put at rest."_

_The man nodded and admitted he'd wrapped his body and weighed it down, throwing it into the lake. At her disgusted expression he shook his head. "I...I only did that so my other kids wouldn't be taken away from me."_

"_No," she said coldly. "You did it because you're a coward and you thought you'd get away with it. If you cared about your children at all then you'd have treasured them, not tortured them." _

_A slight tremor to her voice she glanced at Cho and Rigsby. "Tell Wainwright; get a team to search the lake." She gestured with her head to Jensen. "Book him. I'll call Child Protective Services."_

_Jane cast a concerned look in her direction. She nodded that she was okay and walked out of the room, taking her phone from her pocket. _

_She found Jane outside, elbows against her car and his face up to the sun. "You should go home, Jane. You look exhausted. It's your first day back."_

_He smiled softly at her. "What's happening with the children?"_

"_They'll be taken into foster care most likely. Unless we can come up with some relatives who want to take them on," she replied, her expression tired._

_He touched her side with his fingertips. "You okay?"_

_She moved away from his touch, her jaw set. "Yeah. Go back to my place, will you? I'll feel better if you do. Nothing else you can do here. I won't be too long."_

_He regarded her for a few moments then realised his presence here would perhaps more likely make her vulnerable when what she needed to be right now was strong. "Okay, I'll get someone to drop me off there. I'll make us some supper."_

"_Thanks," she nodded._

* * *

Lisbon threw her keys on the kitchen counter with a heavy sigh. She thought about the bottle of bourbon she kept at the back of her kitchen cupboard. Then she shook her head. The mood she was in she would finish it, she'd need more than a couple of shots to take the edge off. She closed her eyes, remembering the look of utter surprise on his face when she'd delivered her parting words, the hurt that accompanied it. She thought by voicing those things out loud it would help her move on somehow but she felt nothingness instead, an emptiness filling the place her heart used to reside. She turned off the lights and made her way to her bedroom, undressing quickly. She got into the shower, turning the temperature to almost scorching hot. But she hardly felt the water against her skin and almost shivered under its spray instead. As the water continued to wash over her skin she bent her head and, once again, she cried over Patrick Jane.

* * *

_When she arrived home it was past eleven and her place was in darkness. She had texted Jane that she had been held up and she found a note on top of a pot on the stove. "Soup, it's good for the soul I hear. PJ" was written on it. She smiled and brushed her fingers across it. But she had no appetite and instead trudged up the stairs. She entered her bedroom, trying not to make a sound as she saw blond curls lying on top of a pillow. But of course he heard her and moved to turn on the light. "Hey," he said, obvious he was already awake. _

"_Sorry," she said. "I got held up at the office." She slumped onto the side of the bed. _

"_So I see," he replied quietly, moving across the bed and placing his hand on her lower back, rubbing it gently. "You want me to warm up some soup for you?"_

_She shook her head. "No. I'm not hungry." She smiled faintly at him. "But thanks for making it. I'm sure it'll be delicious tomorrow. Just going to grab a shower." She kissed him briefly and entered the bathroom. _

_He sighed as he saw her mask the devastation she felt over this case. He'd called the office and Van Pelt had told him that no relatives could be found that were willing to take the two boys on. And there was a good possibility they would be split up in foster care. As Van Pelt had said, sometimes this job sucked._

_He heard the water shutting off and her dry herself. She walked out in her jersey and he pulled the covers for her to get in beside him. She did so silently and turned her back to him, settling on the far edge of the bed. He smiled at her trying to maintain control over her emotions and moved towards her, draping a hand across her waist. He kissed her neck softly. _

"_I just want to sleep, Jane," she said, the words spilling out quickly as she tried to stop her voice breaking. She moved even further to the edge away from him._

_He pulled back a little and bit his lip, allowing her the space she wanted. He stroked her hair, ends slightly damp from the shower where she'd tied it up. "You don't have to be her now, you know. Not with me. Not when we're like this," he said softly._

"_What?" she frowned. _

_He expelled a loud breath. "Senior Agent Lisbon. Toughest and strongest woman I've ever met." He planted a kiss to her locks. "It's not weakness just to allow yourself to be Teresa some of the time."_

_She shook her head, her breaths ragged as she held back the tears. "Don't Jane," she breathed._

"_Don't what?" He continued to stroke her hair, moving a little closer to her again._

"_I don't want to go back there," she whispered and he knew her tears were now falling. Her childhood, naturally, was what she was referring to._

"_Okay," he said softly. "Okay. You don't have to." But he knew she was already there. She reached for his hand under the covers and he took hers willingly, settling against her back and kissing the back of her head. "It's okay, Teresa."_

_After a few moments she spoke. "He looked so like Jimmy at that age," she whispered through sniffs. "When they brought him out of the water I kept thinking..." She drew a long breath. "I kept thinking that it could have been him years ago. It could have been any one of us."_

_He held her tighter, the thought of her never entering his life if that had occurred unbearable._

_She turned in his arms and he brought both arms around her, glistening eyes staring up at him, searching his face for an answer to a question unspoken. His breath caught in his throat as he lost himself in the dark pools, transfixed on his face. "How can someone do that, Jane?" she finally breathed. "How can someone kill a child?"_

_He just managed to shake his head. "I...I don't know."_

_He swallowed a lump in his throat and saw her eyes widen, sudden recognition of the words she had used. "Oh my god, I'm sorry," she stuttered. "I'm so sorry, I wasn't thinking." She kissed him softly on the lips, then on his cheeks. "I'm sorry," she said again, her tears starting again as she kissed him lightly all over his face, repeating the words over and over._

"_It's okay," he replied, kissing her back, clinging to her, his own loss ripping through him. "I know...I know you didn't. It's okay."_

_He kissed her again. "It's okay." _

_She nodded and kissed him back. They looked at each other and felt something indiscernible shift between them, their relationship suddenly turning up a notch. Soon soft kisses were replaced by fiercer ones. She gripped his pyjama top and thrusted her tongue into his mouth. He moaned and relished the feel of her, pushing her onto the pillow and devouring her mouth in turn. _

_**M rated scene **_

_He stopped thinking and acted on instinct, his hand seizing a breast and squeezing it hard as he continued to kiss her. She groaned and writhed beneath him, her hand clutching his arm. He raised his face, saw the fire in her eyes and he smiled, pure desire in his own. He took her hand and moved it down his body, smiled again as he saw her eyes widen at his intention, her pupils dilating further. He licked his lips and watched her face as he released his own hand, allowing her to complete the journey. He gasped as she lightly touched him through his pyjama bottoms, closing his eyes for a second. He opened them again and she was smiling wickedly back at him as her hand continued to stroke him, hardening him further with every pass of her fingers, light strokes turning stronger as she bit her lip. He kissed her again, moving his hand down her panties, stimulating her. _

_As they continued panting between kisses she removed her hand from the clothing he wore, studying his face if he wanted her to go further. He nodded in understanding and she smiled again, quickly bypassing clothing to run her fingers down his length. _

"_Oh god, Lisbon!" he gasped, trying to maintain control, only capable of short breaths. She took control and pushed him back onto the bed, his hand still lodged in her underwear. She angled herself to take a firmer grip and he closed his eyes, his fingers limp at her core as she continued to work him with her nimble fingers. She kissed him hard, swapping hands so the other one could unbutton his top. After a few moments to centre himself Jane kissed her, moving off the pillows and retrieving his hand so he could remove his top. His skin was boiling hot and he brought his lips down to her shoulder, nuzzling it. She traced her fingertips across his back, fire in their wake as she continued to use her other hand on him._

"_Stop," Jane breathed, almost out of breath and she stopped instantly, pulling back to look at him. He grinned when he saw her worried expression that she'd taken things too far. _

"_Just for a minute," he confirmed, pulling the jersey over her head in the process. She laughed, her laughter turning into a low moan as he feasted his lips on her breast, her hands roaming over his hair. _

"_God!" she panted, as he used his tongue and then his teeth to stiffen the peak in his mouth. He pushed her onto her back, settling between her legs as she drew them around his waist, grinding into him as he began to kiss her other breast. She began to drag his bottoms down with her feet, taking his boxer shorts with them. Jane moved his kisses back to her mouth and pulled both items of clothing off. He reached down and dragged her panties down and off one leg, inserting one finger into her. _

"_You don't think I'm ready by now?" she panted, almost giggling. _

"_Just wanted to make sure," he replied, his voice husky with lust._

_As he centred himself over her they locked eyes. "Are you sure you are?" she asked, needing to make certain he wasn't rushing into something he wasn't prepared for._

_He stared at her for a second, asking himself the same question. Though he hadn't yet said the words he was in love with her. And, while he had known that for a while, he recognised in this instant that he loved her just as much as he had ever loved his wife and owed her the same consideration she had received. He couldn't quantify it or explain it but knew he would never regret this moment. He was ready for her to see him without any pretence, to see a side of Patrick Jane only one person had ever seen._

"_I am," he responded, kissing her lips before he pushed himself into her._

_**M scene end**_

* * *

After finally feeling the water heat her skin and she was spent from her tears she exited the shower and dried herself off with a towel. She wiped the steam away from the mirror and saw her reflection, her red face matching her red eyes. She puffed out a breath and pulled on her knee length terrycloth robe, picking up the bottle of cinnamon scented body lotion from the sink. As she opened it the scent always reminded her of Jane. He'd loved that scent on her for some inexplicable reason. She rolled her eyes and breathed deeply again. "For god's sake Teresa, pull yourself together," she muttered as she opened the bathroom door.

"You know talking to yourself is a sure sign of losing your mind," Jane said as he sat on the edge of her bed.

She gasped in surprise, dropping the lotion onto the carpet. "Goddamnit Jane! What the hell are you doing here! And how did you get into my house?!"

She grabbed a tissue from the nightstand and knelt down to blot the spillage. She glared at him and added, "I could have shot you, you know."

As he saw her in her short robe, the V of her cleavage showing as she bent down and he smelt that wonderful moisturiser it was taking all of his strength not to grab her and plunder her mouth with his own. He imagined pushing her onto the wall and divesting her of the only piece of clothing she was wearing. Of seducing her so she cried his name and they both couldn't think straight.

As she glanced up for a response, she saw his eyes had darkened and her breathing hitched as she saw him lick his lips. Her body responded immediately to that look as it always did, betraying the anger she felt and only wanting to be satisfied by him. She looked away before he could draw her in any further, tipping the tissue into the bin in the adjoining bathroom.

He took a large breath as she went back to the bathroom to dispose of the tissue. "Well I'm pretty sure even a bottle of moisturiser can't kill a man," he replied, trying to inject some lightness and diffuse the sexual tension prevalent.

"I wouldn't bet on it," she grumbled as she stood in front of him again with her arms crossed.

He smiled at her but her features had hardened once again. As he eyed her legs for a moment longer than he should have as his pulse picked up again he averted his gaze and bit the inside of his mouth. As he was about to speak she said, "What are you doing here? And how _did _you get in? I locked my door."

"You gave me a key, remember," he replied, lifting it out of his vest pocket.

She grabbed it out of his hand, blushing at the electricity that sparked as their fingers brushed against each other. "Yeah, well that was a long time ago," she said, sighing, dropping it onto the chest of drawers.

She pushed her shoulders back. "What are you doing here? We finished our conversation. Unless you've had a change of heart and have come to tell me what's going on with Red John."

"I'm not here to talk about him. I came here for two reasons. One-"

He removed a hamburger from his jacket pocket. "It's not from the diner but you need to eat. Picked it up on the way here. You've had one bear claw all day I imagine, if that."

"And two?" she asked, making no attempt to take the burger from his hand.

He sighed, placing it on the nightstand. "Two. I came here to tell you that you were wrong."

"Oh? About what?" she bristled.

He didn't try to hide his pain. "That remark about me being an imposter in your bed. You were wrong."

She swallowed, moving towards the nightstand and lifting the burger to give her something to do. "Was I?" she said quietly, unwrapping it, breathing in the smell of onions and greasy meat, her stomach rumbling in response.

"Do you recall the first time we ever made love?" he said softly.

Her eyes flicked to his. "I'm hardly likely to forget something like that, am I?"

He laughed softly, a faraway look in his eye as he glanced at the pillow beside him. "You really think I was putting on an act that night?" he whispered, memories flooding his brain.

Her eyes fell to the bed before her, the scene of the first time they'd succumbed to each other, remembered the case that unwittingly made them cross that line, of the passion that had been created through pain. Her eyes became watery and she sat down beside him, still clutching the burger in her hands. His breath hitched at her proximity and he dared not look at her. He moved his gaze to the ground. "Despise me all you want, Teresa. But don't tell me I was acting that night. Or any other I lay here with you. While I'm a different man...a man you don't like when I'm hunting Red John it doesn't mean I wasn't being true to myself back then too. You know in your heart that was the case."

She sighed loudly and nodded. "Okay," she breathed. "Maybe that was a bit harsh," she admitted.

He got off the bed quickly, startling her. He cleared his throat. "Good. I'll see you at the office on Monday then," he said, knowing if he stayed any longer he wouldn't be able to restrain himself from reaching for her to rediscover what they once shared. "Have fun with Mashburn tomorrow night. You deserve some happiness again. I wish you the best," he added as he walked out the door.

She couldn't fathom if he truly meant that or was using some type of emotional ploy to get her to cancel her date. She rolled her eyes and took a large bite of the burger.

* * *

**A/N: So, anybody feeling sorry for Jane yet? Would love to get your thoughts on this chapter. I believe it's the longest one I've ever written; I'm knackered and off to fetch some wine!**


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: Loved the differing array of reviews to the last chapter. Think I can safely say that the majority of you still have little/no sympathy for Jane and that you're not tired of those M scenes just yet. I will take all of that into account as I progress...**

* * *

Chapter 21 – The Hand of Friendship

"I'm sorry Walter, what did you say?"

"Well, I was asking how your fish was but I can see your mind is elsewhere. And not on me. Which I take as a personal affront, Teresa. I'm not used to being ignored, you know." His eyes and smile twinkled at her.

She sighed and tried a smile as she looked around the upscale restaurant. It was early evening but buzzing with the pre theatre crowd. "I'm sorry. It's been a lousy week."

"Hmm. Due the return of a certain flaxen haired consultant I would guess," he smirked.

"No," she replied much too quickly. She breathed out, stabbing her salmon with a fish knife, her shoulders sagging. "Well, you know how he is. He has the propensity for getting well and truly under your skin."

_Not to mention into your heart, _she added internally.

She had been in two minds whether or not to cancel her evening with Walter due to her frustration with Jane. There was no point in them both having a mediocre night because of it. And it wasn't as if Walter Mashburn would be without a date for a Saturday night for long. But she'd decided that if she was ever going to try to move on from Patrick Jane then she had to make an effort to that effect. To add actions to her words. And an evening out with a friend was as good a starting point as any. She'd do herself no favours by staying at home wallowing in self pity. She'd witnessed Jane do that long enough for both of them.

But she couldn't blame him for all of this, just maybe ninety per cent she thought ruefully. The other ten was of her own making. She knew the character traits of the man long before she fell for him, secrecy and deception were as part of his make up as blond curls and a killer smile. And now they were no longer romantically involved where he'd become much more open towards her she shouldn't have been surprised that he'd revert to old patterns now things between them were on not just shaky but earthquake impacted ground.

Okay, so maybe she was responsible for slightly more than ten per cent. Maybe.

Walter, spearing a piece of fillet mignon, responded chuckling, "Oh believe me I remember what he's like. Cost me a two hundred thousand dollar car first time we met. Not that I minded much." He leaned forward, serious again. "But...well if he upset you, Teresa. Well then that is a different matter entirely."

She smiled then laughed, amused by his unnecessary machismo. "Thanks Walter but I don't need you to help fight my battles with Jane. Believe me you don't want to get in the middle of it."

She paused then added, "But you're quite the smooth and chivalrous operator when you want to be, aren't you?"

"Well, a man doesn't become a billionaire without some charm and wit. Let me know if you change your mind. I've been involved in a little corporate espionage. I can be sneaky if I have to. And know how to get away with it."

She rolled her eyes as he conveniently informed her how much he was worth. She supposed she was used to it impressing the other women he dated. "I'll forget I heard that last part as a Law Enforcement representative."

"All right. I won't interfere. Can I ask you a question that's been rattling around my head, though?" he continued.

She nodded, swallowing a piece of asparagus.

"The reason Patrick left-" he began, pausing when she glared at him bringing up Jane again. He smiled in response, undeterred. "You said you two had a falling out."

"Well," he chuckled, "well, in my experience there's really only one reason I can think of why time hasn't healed the wounds. I've had a fair few ex girlfriends, well wives too, and I can tell by looking at someone when romance has turned sour."

He stopped talking and studied her face. She cocked an eyebrow but kept her facial expression blank, more experienced in concealing her tells since knowing Jane.

He shrugged and went back to his meal, unaffected by her non response. "Anyway, if you ever feel like talking about it I'm an expert in the field of screwing up relationships."

She softened her expression, touched by his self depreciation. "Yeah. We crossed the line," she admitted, lowering her face to her plate to hide her blush.

"And by how it turned out you didn't just cross it, sounds like you high jumped over it."

She raised her eyes to see pure amusement in his features. "Guess you could say that," she smiled.

"Hmm. Well you know what they say, Teresa. Best way to get over someone-"

"You're incorrigible, you know that?" she beamed, shaking her head as he laughed.

She took a deep breath after a moment. "You know what? All I've dealt with this week is coming to terms with him coming back to work. Let's not talk about him anymore. So, where are we off to tonight after this early dinner you insisted upon?" She gestured to her cocktail dress. "And it better be somewhere I don't feel like a fool wearing this at six pm."

"You'll see."

"You don't know this but I hate surprises."

"So you said when I called. But I promise you'll like this one."

* * *

_The next morning he leaned on the door frame to the kitchen, buttoning his shirt sleeves as he watched her prepare her coffee. From his side view he could see her face set in a frown, her mind elsewhere so she hadn't detected his approach. His smile turned into a mirrored frown as he recalled the night before. While he had been nervous at first he hadn't discerned any hints that Lisbon had been anything less than satisfied with his performance but he couldn't help but think she looked downright depressed this morning. And the fact she'd got up without waking him added another level of doubt._

_He began to run over their lovemaking in his mind, every element entrenched in his memory palace (or at least as many as he could fit in when he was lucid enough to do so, some he had been unable to think through never mind have a chance of recollecting in any vivid detail after). While he was certain he needed a little more practice to build up his...ahem...stamina...he was certain given time he'd live up to her perhaps lofty expectations of what she had imagined a mentalist to be like in bed._

_His own thoughts elsewhere now he hadn't noticed that she'd turned, only realising she had when she pushed a cup of tea into his hand, her other hand tucking a strand of hair behind her ear as she turned away again with a muttered "Morning."_

_He cleared his throat, returning her greeting. As she stood buttering some toast with her back to him he bit his lip. He wasn't used to feeling this awkward and certainly not with Lisbon. Perhaps this leap forward had been a monumental error. Perhaps they should have waited. "Everything okay?" he asked quietly, a sudden memory of asking his wife the same question on many an occasion she gave him the silent treatment._

"_Sure. You?"_

_He rolled his eyes. Perhaps women weren't so different after all. When she spun round to hand him the toast he caught her eyes, saw anxiety etched in them behind her painted smile. "Do you regret it?" he asked softly, taking the plate and putting it on the counter beside him along with his tea, his eyes searching hers immediately again for a response._

"_Do you?" she replied, frowning again._

"_Why would you think that?"_

_She swallowed and her breathing turned a little erratic, her words tumbling out. "Well I thought maybe you might have had second thoughts...that...well that maybe you weren't really ready. Maybe this case pushed you before you were. Maybe I did. And then...well when I turned around you looked worried...so I thought...well I suspected I was right," her words trailed off and she averted her eyes, busying herself with putting some bread in the toaster._

_He breathed out a sigh of relief and he came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and kissed her neck softly. His lips a fraction from her ear he whispered, "You know, if we're going to do this then we need to learn how to communicate better. Well, communicate better with words. I'd say we communicate pretty well in some other ways. As we found out last night."_

_She felt his lips smiling against her neck and she turned in his arms. When she did she was confronted with a grinning Patrick Jane. "You don't regret it?" she asked again._

_He kissed her on the lips. "No. I'd have to be mad to, wouldn't I?" _

_When he'd woken he had felt some guilt over his actions during the night but he supposed that was nothing that wasn't to be expected. The first time having sex with someone else other than his wife was bound to stir up that initial reaction. He was confident it would recede in time. But regret? No, he couldn't regret what had happened. It had been joyous and incredible to feel that closeness with someone again. Someone he loved. Someone he could entrust with his heart again. But a part of him was terrified too, that it also meant he now had someone he could lose again. _

_She seemed to read his fear and wrapped her arms around him tighter. "Some people say you already are," she smiled._

"_Meh," he replied as an end to the conversation and kissed her again._

"_Then why did you look worried?" she persevered when he removed his lips from hers._

"_Because when I came into the kitchen you looked like you were. I was beginning to doubt my sexual prowess."_

"_That must have been truly terrifying for a man with an ego like yours," she teased, grinning fully now._

"_You have no idea." He took her hand and pulled her back towards the living room, his eyes making his intentions clear. "In fact I think I'm still a little uncertain in that area. Could do with some reassurance in the matter."_

_As he led her to the stairs he grinned when he noticed she wasn't arguing about him keeping her from the office._

_They arrived at work an extremely pleasant and satisfying hour and a half late._

* * *

Walter told the limo driver to wait as he walked Lisbon to her door. "So, good surprise then?"

"How did you know I liked the ballet?" she asked. "Not many people do." As far as she knew even Jane hadn't guessed that about her.

"When we drove to dinner the other evening I noticed you look at the poster for the event. Yours eyes lingered on it a little longer than a fleeting glance. For a second you were a little...wistful. It invoked some memories for you. Of your mother, I'm guessing."

She was taken aback at his accurate summary. She wasn't used to someone other than Jane reading a situation so quickly. "I have to say, Walter, I'm...I'm impressed."

He stepped a little closer, "You think Patrick Jane is the only one who can read people? I've made a lot of money doing precisely just that."

"Well I still don't know how you managed to get tickets. It's been sold out for weeks."

"Have I mentioned I'm a billionaire?" he smiled.

Laughing, "I had a lovely evening. I'm glad I made the effort."

His eyes lingered over her. "Well the effort was certainly worthwhile. Have I told you look delectable in that dress? Midnight blue is beautiful on you."

"Yeah, you may have mentioned it once or twice," she replied, rolling her eyes. As his eyes continued to roam over her frame she said plainly, "Walter, I'm not inviting you in. We're not going there again."

He shrugged. "Maybe not tonight. But you should know by now not to say 'never' to me, Teresa. You were wrong last time you said that."

Blushing, "Walter, we agreed we'd be friends, nothing more."

"Well, we are friends, Teresa, aren't we?" he smiled seductively, moving a little closer towards her.

She placed the palms of her hands on his chest to stop his approach. "Why would you even want to go there, Walter? Huh? My head's a mess. Why bother with me when you could have any woman you wanted?"

"Apart from the one standing before me it appears."

He sighed and moved back a step. He laughed softly and shook his head. Quietly, "I seem to have this tendency of falling for women who are in love with someone else."

She wished she could refute his words. "I am sorry if I've misled you otherwise."

Putting on a mask of confidence again he replied, "You didn't. But...well I don't get to meet many normal people in my line of work. People who aren't impressed by my fortune-"

"Oh, don't give me that. You love impressing people with your wealth."

He laughed, nodding his head. "See what I mean? I'm not used to people calling me out on my bullshit. It's bracing."

"Yeah, well with so many years spent dealing with Patrick Jane I seem to have radar for it." Softer, "I'm happy to be your friend, Walter. But no more than that."

"Not one with benefits then, eh?" he tried again.

She shook her head firmly. "Believe me you're better off with your supermodels."

"Hmm. Wouldn't necessarily agree to that but okay, I give up. Just friends then?"

He outstretched his hand in a formal manner. She laughed and shook it. As soon as she did he pulled her towards him suddenly and pressed his lips to hers quickly but firmly before letting go again. Before she had a chance to react he began to chuckle, holding his hands up in surrender when he saw her scowl. "What's the matter? I'm sure that's how friends say good night in France."

She shot him another glare. "Well, I'm quite certain they do not and besides that, we're not in France."

"Wanna fly there tonight and find out for sure?" he smirked.

She rolled her eyes and opened her door. "Goodnight Walter," she sighed wearily. She closed the door behind her before she heard his response.

* * *

_Cho dropped the file on Lisbon's desk. "Final paperwork for the Jensen case."_

_She sighed and nodded. "Thanks, Cho. It was a tough one, huh?" she replied, to herself more than to him._

_After a second she noticed he was still standing at her desk. "Something else?"_

"_Jane seems to have settled back in," he stated._

_She glanced briefly at the bullpen as he showed Rigsby a card trick, grinning widely as he did so. "Yeah...he's...um...pleased to be back at work I think."_

_Cho closed the door to her office and crossed his arms across his chest. "You haven't told him about Red John. You said once he was back on his feet you'd tell him."_

_She began to straighten some things on her desk, looking away from his intense stare. "No I haven't. Not yet," she said quietly._

"_You're not going to," he stated._

_She raised her head to argue with him and he raised an eyebrow in response, daring her to contradict him. She looked out to the bullpen again and Jane caught her eye as she did so as Rigsby closed his eyes to pick a card from the deck he was holding. He raised his eyebrows almost imperceptibly, a brief but smouldering smile on his lips. _

_She licked hers automatically in response before turning back to Cho. "He's happy, Cho. For the first time in years he's really happy. He has a new lease of life. A new perspective. How can I mess that up for him? You know what Red John does to him."_

"_He's only happy because he doesn't know how he was cured. He'd be pissed if he knew it was Red John's doing. Even more so that it was you who begged his interference."_

"_Exactly my point. So why rock the boat, huh? He's alive, he's happy, he's...he's moving on with his life."_

"_This isn't like you. You're an honest person-"_

"_Are you going to tell him?" she interrupted, annoyed he was making her feel more guilt than she did already._

"_No. But you'll regret this. If you don't tell him then it's only a matter of time before Red John does."_

_With that he walked back out of her office. She sat stunned by his parting words for a few seconds, praying he would be proved wrong although the same thought had occurred to her more times than she wanted to admit. _

"_Everything okay?" Jane asked, popping his head in a few seconds later. "Cho seems even less of his cheery self than usual," he smiled._

"_Yeah," she replied, holding up the Jensen case file. "Just the final paperwork on the case." What was another lie, she thought to herself._

_He lingered at the door for a moment frowning then shrugged, "Want to grab some lunch?"_

"_Jane, we were late in already," she blushed. "I can't take time for lunch too."_

_He peered in a little more. "It was worth it, though, wasn't it?" he whispered._

_She smiled under her eyebrows at him. "Hush. Let me get some work done."_

_He suddenly looked more serious. "Okay. No lunch. But I do need to talk to you about something."_

"_What is it?" she asked, beginning to update the Jensen case notes on her computer._

_He walked in and closed the door, sitting down opposite her. "Time I moved out of your place."_

_She stopped typing and looked up at him. She knew it was agreed he'd move out as soon as he went back to work but she was surprised at how much the words stung her._

"_Teresa, we said that once I was back on my feet-"_

"_I know. I know," she admitted. "You're right. You're back at work. It's look suspicious if you stayed there any longer. And only a matter of time before Wainwright started asking awkward questions."_

_It wasn't Wainwright Jane was worried about finding out about their arrangement but he nodded nonetheless. "I know the timing sucks...especially after last night-"_

"_And this morning," she finished for him._

"_Precisely" he grinned._

"_At least you'll get a bed to yourself again," she smiled, looking for the silver lining._

"_Well, I was just getting used to that little corner you left me. Don't know what I'll do with a whole bed to myself."_

"_Where will you go?"_

_Frowning, "Back to my motel, where else?"_

_She tutted. "God, Jane. That place? Couldn't you move somewhere a little nicer? An apartment maybe?"_

"_Motel's fine, Lisbon. If I moved somewhere a little more upscale it would attract attention. Besides, it has everything I require. Bed, hot water, tea kettle, etc."_

_She knew better than to argue with him about it and knew if she did he'd bring up the threat of Red John as a counter argument. And after what had just occurred with Cho she didn't want to think about _him_ any more than she had to._

_She sighed then asked, "You need some help to move?"_

"_No. I got it covered. Rigby's coming over after work to help pack me up again."_

_A glimmer of a smile she replied, "You mean you just conned him into it by that card trick of yours."_

_He merely grinned in response._

* * *

Jane pulled his car into his parking spot at CBI early Monday morning. He hoped that Lisbon's mood had mellowed after a weekend apart from him. Of course not all of that weekend she'd been alone. Mashburn had taken up some of her time.

He shook his head as he entered the elevator, before nodding amiably to the other early birds, belying the aggravation he felt towards the man now. He had once been amused by him. He'd reminded him a little of the man he was in his single days, how he might have turned out if the circumstances of his life had been different, if he'd been brought up in a home where parents sent their kids to college and not in a trailer taught to con people by cheap gimmicks instead. Now his presence back in his life again (or Lisbon's if he was being precise about it) merely irked him.

And to rub salt into his wounds he'd been the one who had encouraged her to go out with him again, practically pushing the two of them together. Idiot. Like he ever really wanted her to move on from him. He had fooled himself into thinking the best way to stop getting close to her again was to have her date another man when the opportunity presented itself. So she would respect the boundaries of being in a relationship even if he felt himself weakening under her spell.

It had been Saturday morning at five am when a severe lack of sleep had induced some much needed honesty with himself.

He still loved her despite how she'd hurt him. Was still in love with her.

She'd apologised many times since he'd come back for lying to him and he'd blown them all off. Treated her abominably like she was nothing to him. Manipulated her. Lied to her. He didn't know if they would or could ever get back to where they'd been but he wanted to try to be friends with her again at least. He couldn't bear to see that look of coldness from her again. There was so much hurt and pain on both sides to wish for more than that and he wasn't entirely sure if he could get over the sense of betrayal and distrust he still felt. Wasn't sure she could either. But friends he was certain he could do. So he'd decided to start that process with a peace offering of sorts.

With that in mind he broke into her office and lifted the files that lay on top of her desk, open murders that the team had only just began to investigate. He took them back out to the bullpen and sat on his couch with a cup of tea, beginning to make some notes. He would close some cases for her. Mashburn may be able to send her flowers and lavish her with expensive gifts but the way back into Teresa Lisbon's good graces was by solving murders. He smiled widely as he noted an inconsistency in a witness statement. Luckily he was a dab hand at that.

* * *

**A/N: So, Jane has finally seen the light. Well...kind of. But is Lisbon going to be a pushover even if he solves a murder or two...hmm...And we haven't seen the last of Mashburn either, not quite yet (I know a few of you aren't fans of his character but he's a necessary foil at the moment for Jane so bear with me.)**

**This chapter turned quite light but there will be darker times ahead for those of you who like the angst. Our favourite couple still have a long way to go. But also some humour too. And I know some of you are wondering about who poisoned Jane in the first place...don't worry, I haven't forgotten about that plot point. It will be revisited in some detail later on.**


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: Apologies for the delay, had real trouble getting a handle on this chapter. And thank you to my new twitter friends (yes, I have at last entered the social media world...tentatively, my profile page has the details if you're interested in following me there) brooklynn315 &amp; Hannie1993 for some much needed inspiration during a conversation about pizza... You'll know the scene when you come to it.**

* * *

Chapter 22 – Breaking In

"You broke into my office?!" Lisbon stomped up to Jane who was sitting on his couch, one leg crossed over the other and a teacup on the table to his side. He looked up from the file he was reading and gave her his most dazzling smile. She frowned immediately at the gesture, stopping her in her tracks.

"Oh, hey Lisbon. How was your weekend?"

He smiled at her again and took a sip of tea. He studied her for a second, trying to read how her date Mashburn had gone but decided she was too mad to get a good read.

Shrugging, "Yes. I broke into your office. But only to help you." He passed her two files that sat beside him. "I've made some notes. You suspect the wife in the Harwood case and I think I've found enough inconsistencies in her statement to bring her back in for questioning. And I think the son should be questioned again in the Finkler case. Something about his statement appears...off somehow. Only child. Spoilt. Didn't want to wait for the inheritance I assume. Get them both in here and I'll see what I can get."

She frowned at the files he was offering before taking them off him, her eyes scrutinising him warily.

He smiled amiably at her and went back to the file in his lap. "Should be done with this one soon. I'll let you know what I find."

Ignoring him she placed the files on Cho's and Rigby's desks who had witnessed the scene between them. "Bring them both back in as Jane suggested." She looked back in his direction. "Don't break into my office again, whatever the reason."

As she closed the door to her office he puffed out a breath. This was going to be a little more difficult than he had imagined.

"What are you playing at?" Van Pelt asked quietly.

"Nothing," he said, writing a note. "It's called working." He glanced up at her from under his eyelashes, "Maybe you should try it sometime." Instead of the coldness she had come to hear in his tone over the past week in comments he'd made like that she heard amusement in it instead, backed up by the smile and the twinkle in his eyes.

She grinned back. "I knew you'd come around."

"I wouldn't go as far as that but I'm trying," he admitted as the smile fell and he sighed, glancing at Lisbon's office quickly. "You think she will?"

"Well you have acted like a jerk since you've been back, never mind leaving her the way you did."

He nodded thoughtfully. "I know."

* * *

"_So, you all set?" Lisbon asked as they stood inside the door of her condo. Rigsby had grabbed the last of Jane's belongings and was waiting in the car for him._

"_Yeah," he sighed, taking hold of her waist. He kissed her softly. "I'm going to miss you tonight."_

"_Well you could always come back later after you get settled in."_

"_Better I don't. I just move out and then come back the same evening. May look a little suspicious."_

_She nodded, kissing him. "I guess you're right."_

_He smiled wickedly. "Besides, I think I better get some rest after what you put me through last night and this morning."_

_Blushing she laughed, "I don't recall you having any complaints at the time. And this morning was your fault."_

_He kissed her again, deepening it as he pulled her towards him, his body instinctively beginning to react to her proximity as the kiss became more heated. As a horn sounded outside she pulled back, smiling. "You better go, you promised Rigsby nachos."_

"_We'll work this out, okay?" he said. "How we carry this on."_

"_I know we will," she agreed. "See you tomorrow. Sleep well."_

_He rolled his eyes, pecking her lips just before he opened the door. "Somehow I doubt I will."_

* * *

He felt he should hold a white flag up as he went to her office a little later. He drew the handkerchief out of his pocket and studied it for a long second before deciding it was too soon for humour. She had barricaded herself in her office all morning, only driven to coming out of it due to her caffeine addiction. And when she did she made no attempt to look in his direction.

She frowned when he entered and he slid a file onto her desk. "This one was a little trickier but I think I have a plan-"

"Why are you doing this?" she interjected as she leaned back in her chair. "Why are you suddenly helping on cases, suddenly being...nice?"

He couldn't stop a small smile. "Something wrong with being nice?"

Her expression unaffected by it she replied, "Because it normally means you're up to something. So, what is it? Not that I expect a straight answer."

He took a long breath and sat in the seat opposite her. "If you must know I'm trying to make amends. For...for how I was when I came back here. It was...it was difficult for me to...let go of what you did."

"And now you have all of a sudden?"

He shrugged, "Not completely, no. But...I'm willing to try-"

"I see. So now you've decided you want to be what...friends again and I'm supposed to just give in, is that it? Let bygones be bygones-"

"You were the one who said you wanted us to salvage our friendship when I came back here," he countered, raising his voice to match hers. "I thought you'd be pleased that I'd make an effort to that effect."

"Yeah well that was a week ago. I'm supposed to be pleased by you pulling the same crap you've done a hundred times before? Breaking into my office-"

"To help-"

She raised her voice a little louder to quiet his interruption. "Breaking into my office and believing I'd be grateful for the crumbs you throw at my feet by doing the job you're supposed to be doing anyway!"

He raised his again in return. "What would you rather I do to make things right? Throw away two hundred dollars on flowers like Mashburn? Fly you to Napa for dinner-"

"Oh my God. Seriously?!" As she got up from her desk to yell back their conversation was interrupted by Van Pelt entering the office. They both glared at her, still in the heat of the argument for a second and the redhead's face turned the colour of her hair. "Sorry, I knocked but...well I guess you didn't hear me."

Lisbon breathed heavily for a moment before sitting down again. "Sorry, Van Pelt, what is it?"

"Actually, it's Jane I came to see. I delved a little deeper into some of Janet Walker's clients like you asked and I've come up with something strange. Man by the name of Henry Jacobs. I think it's an alias. Records only go back a year or so. He seems to have sprung up from nowhere."

"Did you ever meet him?" Lisbon asked Jane, focussed on the case again and not their argument.

Jane shook his head, saw the look of distrust on her face and shook it again. "No, I never met him," he replied pointedly in her direction. She eased back into her chair, suspicion still written over her face. "Then you should check out his address."

"I will." He raised himself from the seat and bit the inside of his mouth, trying another tack. "Do you want to come with me?" he asked, his tone gentle again.

He noticed her expression turn soft for a split second before she turned back to her screen, hardening it again. "Take Van Pelt with you. I have too much to do here."

* * *

As Jane and Van Pelt drove to Henry Jacobs' house he ran over the background she'd got for him. She was correct in bringing the information to him; Jacobs seemed impossibly above board, not even a parking ticket to blemish his spotless record.

"So...I'm guessing your little charm offensive back there didn't exactly go according to plan," Van Pelt stated as she drove.

"Oh? What makes you think that?" he replied with an eye roll.

"Did you actually apologise?"

"Hmm?" he replied, turning a page.

"To Lisbon. Did you actually apologise or did you just act the way you used to and expect her to go along with it?"

His silence was deafening and gave her the answer. "Apologise to her. And mean it. She'd want that more than you trying to impress her with your mind."

* * *

_He had moved out a week ago and Lisbon was surprised by how much she missed his presence still even though he'd only lived with her for a few days. He had come over every other night and they had inevitably fallen into bed together as soon as he'd arrived, the first flush of passion burning strong, turning a gentle kiss into a heavy make out session against the inside of her front door, often not making it to the bedroom before they had divested each other of clothing._

_Unfortunately a case that took them three days to solve meant they had to work long hours so they hadn't had much time for anything but work two weeks into their relationship. Finally a break had been made at the end of the third day._

"_Case closed pizza," Cho announced, putting the box on the conference table. Rigsby was at his side in a heartbeat, as usual the first to grab a slice. Mouth full he laughed, "Jane was in rare form with this one. How the hell did he manage to persuade that mariachi band to provide the distraction?" _

_Van Pelt laughed as she took a delicate bite. "It's good to have him back, that's for sure. Never a dull moment."_

_Lisbon came out of her office and looked around. "Where's Jane?"_

_A part of her had wondered if working together and sleeping together would impact their work but Jane was the same as he usually was, impetuous, unapologetic and conniving. Except that he smiled a whole lot more there was no real difference in how they worked together. In fact there was a renewed energy from him on how he focused on cases, perhaps to ensure that she would leave the office in a timely fashion so they could have time for more amorous activities. Despite that, this one had taken them a little longer. She was somewhat surprised he hadn't dragged her out of her office and back to her place when this one was closed to make up for lost time. _

_Cho removed a piece of pineapple from the pizza, tutting as he did so, and replied, "He said he was going upstairs."_

_Van Pelt rolled her eyes. "Guess he's getting reacquainted with his thinking room."_

_Lisbon, worried that he was pulling himself away again from her and the team, shrugged, "I'll go tell him the food's here." She glared at Rigsby. "Leave two slices for us. Won't be long."_

_A sheepish Rigsby stopped his hand from touching the third slice he was going for._

* * *

"_Come in Lisbon," Jane said as she was about to tap on the door to the attic._

_She pulled the metal bar across and entered, closing the door behind her. He was lying with his jacket off, his eyes closed and his hands resting peacefully on his stomach. "There's pizza downstairs."_

"_Hmm." He opened his eyes lazily and gestured with his head for her to come closer. She smiled, her heart rate picking up as she approached. "I can think of a better way to celebrate the closing of a case," he smiled, a suggestive twinkle in his eyes._

_She laughed, "Later when we get back to my place." _

_He held out his hand to get some help off the bed but as soon as she took his he pulled her towards him and kissed her firmly on the lips. His other hand moved to the back of her head as he deepened it. She giggled, kissing him for a few seconds before pulling back. Keeping his lips close to hers he raised himself to a sitting position before he wound his arms around her waist and pulled her closer, kissing her passionately as his hands moved under her blouse._

_Between kisses she gasped, "Jane, we can't do this here!" Then her body made a liar out of her as it arched into him as he ran his tongue across her neck._

"_I'm pretty sure we can," he breathed, surprising her by lifting her onto his lap so she straddled him._

"_Oh god!" she panted as she felt how much he wanted her. "Okay, but...the team's downstairs waiting for us. We'll have to be quick about it."_

_He grinned as he began to unbutton her blouse swiftly. Between open mouthed kisses on her cleavage he replied, "Those are magic words to a man, Lisbon."_

* * *

"_Is it me or are we getting better at that?" he asked fifteen torrid minutes later._

"_I was already good enough, you're just catching up." _

"_Touché," he smiled._

_She pulled her boots back on, blushing furiously. "Although I can't believe we just did that in here."_

_Jane laughed as he buttoned up his shirt. "I can't believe it took me this long to think of it." He tilted his head at the makeshift bed. "Even more surprised that that thing could take the pair of us without breaking. Maybe I should add another board, make it a little sturdier for next time."_

"_We are _not_ making a habit out of this; we're still in the CBI, for god's sake."_

_His smile grew wilder. "Fun living on the edge, isn't it?"_

_She pulled herself to her feet. "With you that happens every day anyway."_

_He wrapped his arms around her as she buttoned the top buttons on his vest. "Well I'd never want you to become bored with me."_

"_Chance would be a fine thing," she smiled as she smoothed down the fabric afterwards._

"_I love you," he said softly. _

_Her head shot up immediately at his words and her mouth opened in surprise._

_He raised an eyebrow and chuckled. "Okay, that was obviously too soon."_

_She went to object but the words stuck in her throat. "Um...no...well-"_

_He kissed her gently. "It's okay, Teresa. I don't expect to hear it back. I know you have a problem being that emotionally open. I can wait."_

_She nodded, her eyes thanking him for not pushing her._

_He kissed her quickly again, releasing her from his arms. "You go first; I'll be there in a few minutes."_

* * *

_She was still shaken from what he'd said to her when she reached the team again. They were chatting amiably around the table, finishing off some sodas._

"_Where's Jane?" Van Pelt smiled._

"_Oh...he'll be down in a few minutes. We got um...talking."_

_The redhead nodded and then frowned slightly. "You okay, boss? You look a little...flushed."_

"_Fine," she said, breathing a little rapidly. She grabbed a slice of pizza. "I'll...I'll...be in my office if anyone needs me."_

_She walked briskly back there, mortified that they may suspect she just had sex. With Jane. She shook her head, sitting down. She was being paranoid, right?_

* * *

_As soon as the door closed Van Pelt's eyes went to her hairline. "Oh my god, do you think-"_

"_Yeah," Cho interrupted, shaking his head, his heart heavy at the thought of another ill fated romance happening before his eyes again._

"_What?" Rigsby asked, clueless._

"_Boss and Jane are sleeping together," Cho replied._

"_You knew?!" Van Pelt whispered._

_He shook his head. "Not until just now. When you asked if she was okay she checked her blouse buttons immediately without even realising she did."_

_Van Pelt began to laugh. "You mean they were just...in the attic?!" She shrugged, "Well good for them."_

"_What's good for who?" Jane asked loudly as he entered the bullpen, stopping the conversation._

"_Nothing...for nobody," Van Pelt replied immediately, embarrassed at both being caught on gossiping and the images occupying her mind of her boss and the consultant she worked with in flagrante delicto._

_Jane scrutinised her before moving on to Rigsby and Cho. While Cho stared at him blankly, Rigsby was barely able to contain a snigger. He sighed loudly before he announced, "Okay, so I guess as the say the gig is up. Yes, it's true. Myself and Lisbon are...together. In the romantic sense."_

_He was immediately embraced by Van Pelt and he pushed her away gently. "And we're being discreet about it," he added quietly, staring into her eyes._

"_Of course," she replied, a grin covering her face. _

"_I mean it, Grace." He looked to all of them, his face entirely serious. "It doesn't go outside the team. It has to be that way or...well we might have to stop."_

"_No problem," the redhead replied. She glanced at Rigsby. "We understand completely."_

"_Thank you." He smiled again. "And...um...Lisbon would be uncomfortable with you all knowing so...I wouldn't mention it to her directly."_

* * *

_He entered her office a few minutes later. "That pizza was stone cold. Want to grab something a little better?"_

"_Sure, sounds good. I'll be five minutes." A pause followed. "Jane, did the team seem okay to you? You don't think they suspect-"_

"_Of course not," he replied casually, shrugging. _

_She relaxed her shoulders. "Good."_

"_Is it all right if I come over to yours tonight?" he asked in a conversational tone. He'd tell her about the team knowing about them when she was relaxed at home and would have time to overcome her awkwardness by morning._

"_You still want to...after...before?" _

"_Well a quickie's all well and good, Lisbon." His eyes darkened with renewed lust. "But certainly not enough for one night."_

* * *

When Jane and Van Pelt arrived at Henry Jacobs' house, a small ramshackle property with paint peeling off the front and sides, dry dirt dredged up from their footsteps as they made it to the front door. "Looks deserted," Van Pelt said, a rusted car parked to the side of the property.

"And not somewhere someone who attends Art Galleries would live," Jane confirmed. He nodded to her gun. "Just in case."

Van Pelt nodded and put her hand on her gun as a precaution before knocking on the door. They listened for noises from inside but none came. "Well it seems like it's an alias, that's for sure."

"Hmm," Jane said, peering into the windows that were covered with dust laden curtains. He retrieved his lock pick set and Van Pelt touched his hand. "Jane!"

"I'm just going to have a look inside. I won't touch a thing. I promise."

She sighed. "Okay. You better not."

He opened the door and pushed it past fliers stacked against the door. Van Pelt had a look at the dates on coupons that she drew apart with her foot as Jane walked around the property. "The early ones here look about a year old."

"Interesting," he replied as he walked into the kitchen.

"Jane, we should go," Van Pelt said moments later. "There's no one here."

Jane came back from the kitchen and nodded. "Yeah, you're right. Nothing to be found here." He tucked the piece of paper he'd found on the kitchen table into his jacket surreptitiously.

As they got back into the car she exhaled. "Sorry it was a wild goose chase."

"It wasn't. You were right about it being an alias. Most probably this Henry Jacobs murdered Janet."

"Yeah but we have no leads." After a beat she added, "But we can ask the other clients, right? See if they ever met him?"

"Precisely."

* * *

She found him in his attic perch, leaning against the door to the balcony outside, his golden curls illuminated by the sun tousled by the light breeze on his face, jacket lying on his makeshift bed. He looked melancholic, a slight frown as he concentrated, too lost in his thoughts to notice her presence.

Or so she thought.

"Hey Lisbon," he said softly, not moving from his position. "I take it Van Pelt told you about Henry Jacobs."

She came a step closer but remained close to the open door, her mind filled with passion filled thoughts as she glanced at the bed he'd set up again. And sadness overcame her of how far they were from that now. "Yeah," she replied despondently.

He turned to face her and their eyes locked. Even steps away from each other both their heart rates picked up. "You want to know if I think he's Red John," he stated, placing his hands in his pockets.

"Is he?"

"I thought you were going to leave that alone."

"And I thought you wanted to make amends." Her expression told him she'd accept nothing but the truth.

He nodded. "Yes. I believe he very well may be."

She nodded and sighed. "And I'm guessing that's all I'm going to get out of you on the matter."

"For now," he asserted, effectively placing them at stalemate again.

"Because you don't trust me with the full story yet."

"Yes."

"Okay."

He frowned, surprised by her acquiescence. "Okay?"

"Yeah, okay. Because I don't trust you enough to tell me the truth in any case."

He looked to his shoes then back at her. "I'm sorry. For how I treated you when I came back. For leaving without allowing you time to explain. I wasn't ready to hear it. I...I don't think I still am."

"Fair enough. And I'm sorry for yelling at you this morning. I know you were only trying to make things better-"

"And instead I made them worse," he smiled.

"Well we're talking now. So I suppose it wasn't all bad in the end."

He took a few steps closer, "I'm willing to try if you are. See if we can get back to friends."

"Let's not run before we can walk. Let's see if we can at least work together first. Properly. Means you doing the same as you did before, mind you. Work on all cases I want you too, not just the ones you want. And we have to be able to be at a crime scene together, interview witnesses or suspects without having to have a go between."

After a moment he nodded. "Fine. Let's start again then, shall we?"

* * *

**A/N: So a tentative step forward but with Jane still keeping secrets how much further can they progress...**


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23 – Baiting &amp; Ballet

"Thanks for your help with the interviews," Lisbon said as she and Jane exited the interrogation room. "Two closed cases in one day. Been a while since we've had that."

"Hmm. Probably over a year I'm guessing," Jane replied smugly.

It was a week after their agreement to get along better and so far things were rolling along nicely between them.

She shook her head at him but smiled. "Not quite that long-"

"Close though I'm guessing," he continued as they walked back towards her office.

Van Pelt stopped them on the way there carrying a garment bag. "Hey boss. Dress has just been delivered from the tailors. Can you try it on, make sure it fits?"

Lisbon nodded politely, "Sure, Grace, will do." She saw Jane out of the corner of her eye as he narrowed his eyes in interest.

"Invitation's still open, Jane," Van Pelt added. "To the wedding. Since you're back now...permanently...?" she attempted.

He shoved his hands in his pockets and swayed on his toes for a second. "Ah...well...I'm not really a wedding person, Grace. And well I still don't really know how long I'll be back for."

He saw the young agent's face fall and he shrugged. "I'll think about it, okay?"

She nodded and smiled. "Okay. We'll save you a seat just in case."

She turned to leave and Jane gestured to the garment bag Lisbon was holding. "You're bridesmaid again?" he asked, a quizzical eyebrow raised.

"Well if you recall I never actually got to be bridesmaid the first time."

"Hmm. Well hopefully this time the groom to be won't shoot you before the wedding." He paused and added, "Or get shot by the bride to be himself." He smiled, thoroughly enjoying himself now. "Although Grace does have a temper underneath that sweet exterior. That red hair is a giveaway. And you know what Rigby's like if he doesn't eat."

"Hilarious," Lisbon replied with an eye roll.

"Is it the same dress?" he asked as they reached her office door.

"No, thank god," she said as she went to open it.

"Pity. I always liked that dress."

Her hand on the handle she turned to face him. "You only liked that dress because you knew I hated it."

"Not entirely although I admit that was part of it. I liked it because you looked absolutely adorable in it. Especially with that pout you wore."

Before they got together she would have laughed off a comment like that but now it inflamed her cheeks and rendered her almost speechless. As she glanced up at him she saw he was faring not much better, the delight gone from his features replaced by awkwardness instead. For a few moments they had relaxed in each other's company and put their perplexing history to the back of their minds. Then all of a sudden they were back to where they were now. Two people trying to rebuild the shattered fragments of a relationship.

"Do you want to hear how I think we should handle the Dressler case?" he asked, serious again after a lengthy pause between them.

"Yeah, sure," she replied as she opened the door to her office.

They were greeted by Walter Mashburn sitting on the couch there with a smile on his face. "Ah, my two favourite crime fighters are back from seeing justice done!" he exclaimed happily, his eyes lingering on Lisbon.

Jane stalled at the door for a moment before coming in. "Walter, good to see you again," he said evenly.

"What are you doing here?" Lisbon asked, a touch of annoyance in her tone. "And how did you get into my office?"

"I bumped into your boss." He frowned for a moment before nodding. "Luther I think he said his name was. Told me it wouldn't be a problem. Nice chap. Little young to be in charge but...seems a nice enough fellow. Told me I could wait in here for you for as long as I liked."

"I'm sure the contribution you offered to the CBI coffers helped," Jane remarked without humour.

Mashburn narrowed his eyes at Jane and for a second both men stared at each other, silently sizing the other one up. Lisbon, standing in between them cleared her throat. "So, what can I do for you?" she asked Mashburn.

He raised himself from the couch and produced the book he was reading when they entered. He nodded to the garment bag. "Here, let me take that for you, Teresa." Handing it over to him he laid it on the couch and she frowned as she ran her fingers over the hard backed rectangular book he'd given, titled "Ballet" by Alexey Brodovitch. "Looks old," she nodded.

"It's a first edition. Signed by the author. Quite rare I'm led to believe. Thought you might like it," he said softly, smiling at her.

"Walter, I can't accept it," she replied, shaking her head. "It looks much too expensive."

"Nonsense, Teresa. Call it an apology for me overstepping the mark that Saturday night," he shrugged, still smiling.

Jane stood watching the scene unfold in front of him and jealousy surged within him. He parted his lips and felt his hand turn into a fist. His eyes questioned Lisbon and she shook her head, silently telling him not to start anything that wasn't his business. He relaxed his fist but his face was thunderous as Mashburn turned back to him.

"So, Patrick," he said cheerfully, ignoring the dirty look Jane was giving him, "I hear you were on somewhat of a sabbatical for a while."

Jane eased his face back into a smile. "You should try it yourself sometime, Walter. I believe Bali can be very relaxing."

"If I didn't know better I'd think you were trying to get me out of the country."

Jane laughed as if joking with him, "Who says I'm not?"

Walter joined in for a moment before he turned serious. "Terrible news about Janet. I believe you two were quite close."

Jane's eyes flicked to Lisbon's for a second before he set them on Mashburn again. "I knew her, yes. As did you."

"Well my relationship with her was certainly nowhere near as intimate as yours I believe."

Jane stared at him blankly in return, making sure he gave the man nothing for his efforts to unsettle him.

He continued, "How is the investigation into her death going, anyway, Patrick?"

"We don't divulge those details to members of the public," Jane smiled. "But I would ask why you're so interested?"

Mashburn shrugged. "No reason. Curiosity. Just making idle conversation."

"Tell me, Walter, did you ever meet a man by the name of Henry Jacobs? He was a client of hers." So far all clients Jane interviewed had said they'd never met a man by that name. Staff who worked in the Gallery concurred.

Mashburn frowned for a long moment then shook his head. "No...don't think so but then I meet a lot of people," he smiled. "I'll have my assistant check-"

"There's no need-"

"Nonsense," he smiled, glancing at Lisbon for a second, "Any chance to pop my head in and help out on an investigation."

Jane nodded and smiled amiably at him. "Well we know how busy you are, wouldn't like to put you out on such a trivial matter. Just have your assistant call with the information, no point trudging all the way here."

"Believe me it's no problem."

"So Walter, since the last time I've seen you, how many wives have you wed? Hit double figures yet?" Jane grinned.

"None actually." Mashburn looked at Lisbon sideways, his eyes twinkling. "Well no more just yet."

The smile dropped from Jane's face immediately and he nodded, conceding the other man had just won the point. "Well we should let you get on. Have work to do." He turned to Lisbon. "You want to go through the details of the plan I have in mind for Dressler?"

Caught between a rock and a hard place she said, "Um...give me a minute with Walter first, will you, Jane?"

"Of course, Lisbon," he said politely after a split second pause but his eyes spoke of annoyance. "Goodbye Walter."

"See you soon, Patrick," Mashburn grinned.

XXX

Jane went to fetch himself some tea in the break room. To say he was aggravated would have been an understatement. He slammed the kettle onto the stove as Cho walked in to fetch a coffee. "Mashburn, huh?" Cho stated, as he poured out a mug with his back turned to Jane.

"Pompous ass," Jane muttered, flinging a teabag into his cup.

Cho turned and raised an eyebrow in his direction.

Jane rolled his eyes. "Fine. I'm a hypocrite. Happy?"

"Not particularly," Cho remarked as he passed him on the way back out. "One of these days this place will get back to being a place where police work is done and not a soap opera. Between the wedding talk and you and Lisbon up and down like an elevator I'm thinking of asking for a transfer."

"Can't say I blame you," Jane sighed as he stood alone at the island counter, pouring the boiling water into his cup. As he took a calming breath he closed his eyes, allowing the aroma of his favourite brew to waft into his senses. Then the pungent smell of expensive cologne infiltrated them instead. He opened his eyes to find Mashburn standing in front of him.

"I feel we left things on bad terms, Patrick-" he started.

"What are you playing at, Walter?" he said irritably.

"Me? Nothing? I like you, Patrick. I was hoping we could clear the air. Obviously I've said something to upset you."

Controlling his hostility he replied, "I don't know what you're talking about. I'm not upset. You're mistaken. Have my mind on other matters. I apologise if you thought I was short with you."

"Well that's good to hear. I hope whatever happens between Teresa and I we can remain friends."

"I wasn't aware we were," frowned Jane. "Besides what happens between you and Lisbon is none of my business."

"I'm pleased you see it that way. I couldn't help but think you were being a little...territorial in there."

"Again you're mistaken. But I think you're wasting your time if you want my opinion on the matter."

Mashburn grinned, "Oh, you do, do you?"

"It's obvious she not interested," Jane stated, serenely taking a sip of his tea.

The other man shrugged. "Perhaps not yet but I rarely fail when I put my mind to something, Patrick."

"So, what? You see Lisbon as some kind of business acquisition-"

"I see her as a beautiful, intelligent and strong woman. Are you disagreeing with any of that? Who wouldn't want that in their life?"

Jane wasn't about to be pulled into whatever game this was any longer. "What's your point?"

"My point is that I let her out of my hands once before. I don't intend on making the same mistake twice." He paused for a moment and smiled. "You'd have to be an idiot to do that, wouldn't you?"

As Mashburn strolled off Jane put his cup and saucer down on the counter, his fingers lingering over its handle, smiling as he remembered how she'd kept it safe for him.

Idiot just about summed him up.

XXX

Ten minutes later and fortified by his tea he dropped by Lisbon's office. Absentmindedly he entered immediately and déjà vu struck him as she stood in a bridesmaid's dress in front of him. Fortunately (for her and not for him) she was fully enrobed in it, battling with a clip at the back.

"Are you kidding me?" she said, rolling her eyes. "Seriously? Twice you've done this now you know. Will you ever learn to knock when the door's closed?!"

His eyes lingered over her small frame encased in a long midnight blue gown, spaghetti straps leading to a fitted bodice and a soft flowing skirt in satin.

"Shut the damn door, will you? And lock it," she glowered. "Before everyone comes in here and starts gawking."

Smiling he shut it behind him, putting his back to it, afraid to take a step closer right away in case his willpower gave out. "That's...you look beautiful, Teresa."

Blushing she nodded, "It's better than the first one, I guess" she shrugged. He noticed her still fumbling with the clasp at the back and he took a step forward. "Here, allow me" he said softly.

"I'm...I'm okay" she stuttered. "I can get it."

Ignoring her he did the clasp up, quickly running the tips of his fingers over her exposed skin. He had an urge to kiss her shoulder and his breathing sped up at the thought. Before he had time to follow through she pulled away from him and turned around. "Fits okay, right?" she asked. "Only there's no mirror in here."

He didn't mind the question. It gave him another excuse to trail his eyes over her body. He nodded, deciding to press his luck. "Turn around again."

She shot him a knowing look and shook her head. "Nice try."

He grinned cheekily in return, his annoyance with Mashburn forgotten until he saw the book he'd bought her on the edge of her desk. He came closer to it and studied the cover. "Why did Mashburn buy you a book on ballet?"

"I'll tell you another time. Now...I need to get changed back into my clothes."

"I'm not stopping you" he smiled.

"Jane-"

"You think I've forgotten what you look like naked?" he teased. He tapped his temple. "All up there, Lisbon. A roomful of images." He closed his eyes and grinned.

"Stop that!" she chastised but then began to laugh. It was so long since he'd heard that noise his heart broke a little. Seeing a flickering of regret in his eyes she said softly, "Turn around at least."

He did so dutifully.

"And look towards the floor. You'd only peek in the glass."

He laughed softly. She still knew him so well. He dropped his head as she asked. "So...the book?" he asked to the rustling of clothes, only really interested in pursuing the question to stop his mind wandering to the nakedness going on just behind him.

"Right," she stated. "He took me to the ballet Saturday night a week ago. So guess he thought I'd like the book. I'm not going to keep it but he wouldn't take it back. I'll mail it to his assistant or something."

Jane nodded, relieved that no further plans appeared to have been made between them. "You never told me you liked the ballet," he replied.

He heard a growl behind him, the sound of struggling. "You okay there?" he asked.

"That damn clasp again. Can you open it?"

"That will mean I'll have to turn around, you understand."

"Open the damn clasp, will you?"

He turned around to see her standing in her jeans with the dress hitched up to her waist. Smiling he gestured for her to turn around. As she did so he cleared the hair from her back to rest on her shoulder. He really didn't require any need to do so to get at the clasp but it gave him a better view of her back dotted with freckles, a memory coming to him of trying to count them on a number of occasions. He'd never made it all the way through regrettably, passion always taking over instead. He finished with the clip and began to pull the zipper down slowly.

She turned around quickly and whacked his hands away.

"Sorry, I thought you wanted help with the zipper too," he smiled.

"Yeah, right," she responded, rolling her eyes.

"So ballet?" he asked again.

She nodded, her pulse rate picking up as his fingers had dwelled on her skin for a second time. "Um...right. My mom used to enter all these radio contests when I was a kid. I dunno, I was about eight or nine I guess. It didn't matter what it was for but it was her thing, you know. She loved the excitement of entering them, hoping for a win."

Jane sounded agreeably in return.

She twirled her finger for him to turn around again. He did so with an eye roll and he heard the dress drop to the floor as she continued, "Well she won one finally-"

"Tickets to the ballet."

"Yeah. Well it wasn't my dad's thing so she took me." She slipped her bra and top on quickly. "You can turn around now. I'm decent again."

"Shame," he smiled as he turned as she picked up the dress and began to put it back in the bag.

"So, how was it, the ballet? The first time?"

She stopped what she was doing and her eyes lit up at the memory. "It was like a different world, you know. Like I'd entered this secret universe that I never knew existed." She smiled wistfully at the memory, her gaze off to the side. She sat on the couch and put her boots back on. "Anyway, that was it really. I've only been a couple of times since but it makes me feel close to her still I suppose when I go. I always think of that first time."

"And you told Mashburn this?" he frowned, upset that he'd never figured this out about her before.

"No. He guessed. Saw me looking at a poster and took a chance I'd enjoy it."

He nodded slowly, angry with himself that he'd wasted the opportunity he'd had with her. "I would have taken you," he said quietly, swallowing a lump in his throat. "I mean...even before we...well you know. We could have gone as friends."

She nodded, standing up. "Well maybe if we work up to that again we can do that sometime," she replied in a whisper.

"I'd like that. To go to the ballet. Been quite a while for me too."

"Did you and Angela go?"

"Couple of times. She didn't really enjoy it. Used to fall asleep if I remember correctly." He smiled at the recollection of his wife dozing on his shoulder while he was enraptured with what was happening on stage.

He hadn't realised how much he missed sharing times in his life with her...or well with anyone really...until this moment. He couldn't stop himself continue. He didn't want to. "Charlotte was learning before..."

He sighed then beamed. "She wasn't very good. Quite terrible actually but...well she liked the tutus." His smile grew as he remembered.

Lisbon grinned as a stray tear fell down her cheek as they stared at each other in silence, the few steps between them still too difficult to cross.

XXX

**A/N: So this was a little bit of a detour chapter I guess as only the present time in this one and not much on the case. But I hope you liked it anyway. It kind of grew organically and has a melancholy edge to it in the end. It's a little bit strange I think but I kinda like it so went with it. There will be action coming up soon so hope you'll keep reading.**


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: A short chapter but hopefully a humorous one (both anomalies for this particular story!) Don't fear the angst will be back in force very soon for those of you who like that side to the story so sit back and enjoy the lightness for now.**

* * *

Chapter 24 - Running Interference

"_I swear, Wainwright loves those Management meetings, his eyes get this look of excitement in them when he starts talking about an increase in his budget," Lisbon said to Jane as she walked back into the bullpen, the only figure left at seven in the evening._

_Jane, his eyes glued to a file, replied from his couch, "Well the man doesn't have such of a life outside work." He winked at her. "You remember what that was like."_

"_As do you," she smiled, flopping beside him._

"_Touché," he grinned, his eyes lighting on her for a second. "You should have told him the excuse I gave you."_

"_Oh, that I had a hot date with a hot man?"_

_He shrugged, smirking, "He'd never have questioned you about it, would have been much too embarrassed."_

"_Well it doesn't feel right, lying to my boss about that," she smiled._

_He turned his full attention to her. "Oh? So you don't have a hot date with a hot man tonight?" he said, raising an eyebrow._

_She shrugged, glancing around the bullpen. "I don't know...haven't seen Jeff from the Mailroom for a few days."_

_He chuckled lightly. Ensuring they were alone he kissed her quickly. "Trying to make me jealous?"_

"_Maybe. Why? Is it working?" she chuckled._

_He chanced another kiss. "Yes. So stop it," he smiled._

_She laughed and tilted her head to see the file he was reading. "What case is that?"_

"_Edward Norris," he nodded, turning a page. "I figured I'd have a look at it. Now that I'm back to full health and we have some time between cases for a change. Still open, right?"_

_Lisbon nodded, her breathing quickening as Jane looked into the death of the other man who had been poisoned. She had a feeling of dread that no good was going to come out of this. _

"_Hey, you okay?" he asked softly, noticing the change in body language._

"_Yeah...I'm fine. I just...well it brings it all back, that's all."_

_Jane nodded. "Teresa, this man wasn't as lucky as I was. He didn't survive the toxin. Plus well perhaps there's a connection between us somehow. We were both targeted after all."_

"_Jane, we looked at this man and his associates. We talked to everyone we could at the time. You think we didn't do our jobs considering what was at stake for you in tracking down the perpetrator?"_

_He closed the file and frowned at her. "I'm not saying any of those things. But...well I can't imagine any of you were thinking too clearly either considering the state I was in. I'm sure you all did your best but...well to be completely selfish about it whoever did this may try again with me."_

"_We have the cure now. There'd be no point."_

"_Not with that particular toxin but he may be mixing up another batch of some other stuff for all we know."_

"_Or it might just be a coincidence."_

_He laughed in amusement. "Coincidence? Lisbon, we were both at death's door within hours of each other. One of us didn't make it. What's the likelihood of us both ingesting this poison where there isn't a connection? Frankly, I'm a little surprised you don't seem to want me to look into it."_

_She stammered, "It's...it's not that." Truthfully she wasn't worried about whoever did this targeting Jane again. She was more than certain Red John had already taken care of that problem when he'd acquired the cure._

_He put the file to the side. "I'm just going to do a little digging in my spare time, okay? If I find anything I'll let you know. I probably won't if you didn't but no harm no foul. You don't need to be involved in this. I know...I know it was a hard time for you. I don't want you to relive it."_

_Patting her hand he pulled her off the couch as he got up. "Come on, it's getting late. Let me escort you to your hot date," he smiled. "I believe he told me he'd like Chinese tonight."_

* * *

Jane awoke from his doze on his couch to the sound of Cho and Rigsby arguing. "Come on, man. Help me out," Rigsby sighed.

"No," his partner told him pointedly.

"Can you guys keep it down," Jane remarked, still prone with his eyes closed.

He heard Rigsby shuffling towards him. "Good, Jane, you're awake."

"No, it's merely an optical illusion. He snuggled into the couch further. "Now, if you wouldn't mind."

Realising Rigsby wasn't going anywhere and sensing he was a man in full blown panic mode if the incessant shuffling of his feet were anything to go by he cracked open an eye. He trailed it over Rigsby's frame and closed it again. Crossing his arms in front of him he shook his head. "No. Whatever it is the answer's no."

"Cho?" Rigsby pleaded.

Jane heard the rustling of pages as Cho presumably continued reading his book. "No."

He didn't have to open his eyes to imagine Rigsby's slumped shoulders. Curiosity finally getting the better of him he made a disgruntled noise and slid into a sitting position. Rigsby looked at him like a hopeful overly large puppy. He sighed. "Okay, what's the problem?"

"I have to pick up Grace from her bachelorette party."

Jane frowned. "Isn't the wedding still two weeks away? And why would you be afraid of that?" He'd been with Cho all day on an investigation so had missed this titbit of office gossip.

"She's having it early as her best friend from college is going to be on vacation until near the wedding."

Okay," Jane said slowly, gesturing with his hand for Rigsby to continue.

"Well..." the tall man started. "The thing is..."

"He's afraid of her," Cho finished for him. "Her friend. Clara," he confirmed, turning a page.

"And what about this woman makes a renowned CBI Agent quake in his boots?" Jane smiled.

"Well...when she's had a bit to drink she's a little...-"

"Oh!" Jane interrupted. "A little overly amorous," he grinned.

"Like an octopus," Rigsby finished, shaking his head. "And then Grace gets jealous and I get the blame somehow!"

"I see. So you want Cho here to go with you to keep our aquatic friend's hands to herself."

"That's about it." He paused and was about to speak again when Jane shook his head. "No chance."

"Come on, man." He paused, desperate. "Lisbon's there."

Jane narrowed his eyes at him. "So?"

Stammering, "Well I thought since you two are getting on better these days it might...well it might give you a chance to...progress things between you."

"Oh, so you think I'm the type of man who'd take advantage of Lisbon when she's a few sheets to the wind."

"No!-"

"I wonder what she'd make of that if I told her that was your suggestion to better things between us. I wonder how long you'd be on dumpster duty for-"

"Oh please, Jane! I didn't mean it like that. I just meant-"

Jane sighed, "It's okay. I know what you meant. But Lisbon and I are just trying to be friends again. Nothing more. You and Grace need to get that into your heads. At least Cho realises that."

Cho harrumphed at his desk. "It's just wishful thinking on my part."

Looking at the defeated man opposite him Jane rolled his eyes. "Okay. You buy me lunch for a week."

Rigsby, while momentarily relieved he wasn't walking into the lion's den alone, was fearful of the cash he'd have to spend. "Okay but...nothing too fancy. I'm saving for a wedding."

"Fine," Jane said theatrically as he rose from his couch.

As the two men left together Jane winked at Cho. Cho shook his head and mumbled into his book, "He's going to fleece him."

* * *

As they entered the busy bar in the heart of downtown Jane puffed out a breath as what he supposed was considered now popular music blasted in his ears, the beat of the bass almost making talking impossible. Rigsby, towering over him, spotted a section cordoned off that was assumedly assigned to the bachelorette party. Jane nodded as they made their way through the throng of Friday night partygoers. As they approached the section Jane looked for Lisbon, the only reason he'd actually come with Rigsby although his colleague would never know that. She was always fun when a little buzzed on alcohol and it had been quite a while since he'd seen that carefree side to her. _Too long_ his brain added internally. Rigsby tapped his shoulder and pointed at what was presumably Clara. She was a tiny thing about the size of Lisbon and Jane grinned at his old friend, shaking his head. "Really?" he mouthed.

Rigsby's quick nod and rapidly blanching complexion gave him his answer. "I got your back," Jane assured him, to Rigsby's relieved expression.

As Lisbon was nowhere to be seen (presumably in the ladies room) he decided to have a little fun first. Grace, busy talking animatedly to a friend of hers adorned with a pink satin bow with 'bride to be' written on it in flowery text and wearing what appeared to be a plastic tiara on her head didn't see them at first as they entered the section.

Clara, however, immediately bounced up to Rigsby and encircled him in a hug. "Wayne!" she shrieked, her high pitched tone almost deafening Jane for a second time in minutes.

Rigsby removed her hands from his waist and smiled nervously. "Hey, Clara. Good to see you again. I'd...I'd like you to meet my friend Patrick."

Jane nodded as the pint sized terror looked him up and down. "Well, where has Wayne been hiding you, cowboy?" she smiled, her fingers brushing over Jane's chest.

"Prison," Jane said immediately, smiling at the woman in front of him as her face dropped.

"Prison?" she repeated.

Jane nodded, tilting his head towards Rigsby who was standing with his mouth open. "Yeah. Would you believe Wayne here arrested me?"

Clara looked from one man to the other. "Um...well..."

"It's true," Jane continued, "just got out today." He grinned at her. "He told me there'd be some hot pieces here tonight." He looked her up and down appreciatively. "And he was certainly right."

The woman, so confident moments before, faltered for a moment. "What...um...what were you in prison for?"

"Armed robbery." He paused. "Obstruction of justice." Another pause. "Attempted bribery of a police officer." He shoved Rigsby playfully. "We had a right laugh over that one, didn't we?" Turning his attention back to the clearly frightened woman opposite him now he shot her another dazzling smile. "So, you want to get out of here? Go somewhere a little more...private?"

She shook her head wildly. "I...I have a boyfriend," she stated quickly.

Jane sighed. "That's okay. We learn to share in prison. I don't mind if he doesn't."

At this comment she baulked completely, downing the glass of Champagne in her hand and brushing past them rapidly. Jane grinned at Rigsby who was standing open mouthed. "See? How easy was that?" he said calmly. "Tacos tomorrow," he added as he went in search of Lisbon.

Rigsby shook his head. "I should have known better. How the hell am I supposed to explain this to Grace?" he muttered.

* * *

**A/N: Apologies again for the short chapter but I'm extremely short on time over the next few days so wanted to post something. **


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: Thanks again for all the lovely reviews to the last chapter. This one takes a more wistful turn I hope you'll enjoy. And there is a heap load of action coming your way soon so please stay tuned. I've been having a crisis of confidence with my writing lately so your support means the world to me.**

* * *

Chapter 25 – Getting Closer

As he weaved his way back through the throng of partygoers towards the bar he caught sight of a flash of chestnut hair, recognising it as Lisbon's instantly. Heading closer his view loitered on her shapely legs, her feet encased in a pair of black stilettos matching the sleeveless black dress she wore. Her hair had been styled gently in soft waves that fell over her shoulders and back. She was striking enough in her everyday attire but when she took longer than ten minutes to preen herself she was positively breathtaking.

He watched as she teetered on her heels, attempting to get served at the bar that was two people deep in customers. Even in three inch heels she was a few inches shorter than the men vying for service around her. As he was about to step forward he noticed a man take an interest in her, his eyes lingering on her frame in much the same fashion Jane had moments before. Dark brown crew cut hair and chiselled features he stood a few inches taller than him. Defined muscles protruding through the black shirt he wore he whispered in Lisbon's ear. She troubled her bottom lip and then nodded, smiling up fully at this tall dark stranger. Jane had never experienced her flirting so outrageously with a man before. Well, not unless _he_ was that man. The tall man, who Jane guessed was in the military by his stiff posture and accompanying haircut, lazily placed an arm around her back as he waved to the barman. It was hardly discernible but Jane noticed her shift slightly away from GI Joe's grasp much to his relief.

He quickly caught the attention of a waitress who was depositing drinks nearby. She looked harassed and was about to tell him to go to the bar when he slipped a hundred dollar bill into her hand. Her full attention gained he nodded to the muscle man beside Lisbon before he spoke to her quietly but with some urgency. A few seconds later he watched with some glee as the waitress "accidentally" brushed into the man beside Lisbon, spilling the remaining dregs of a glass of beer onto him in the process. As he was distracted with drying himself off Jane tapped Lisbon on the shoulder. She blinked twice when she suddenly saw him at her side.

"What the hell are you doing here?" she glared, her eyes a little glazed from alcohol but her speech still coherent.

"Rigsby needed a wing man," he replied cheerfully. "Come on," he continued, "let's get a seat. Standing in those heels is killing you."

She regarded him suspiciously. "It's my turn to buy the next round."

He placed a hand loosely around her waist, moving her subtly away from the bar. "Already taken care of."

She stopped and removed his hand. Firmly, "How?"

"Bribery," he smiled, nodding to the waitress behind her who was apologising profusely to Lisbon's now ill fated love interest.

She arched an eyebrow. "I see. And I suppose the guy I was talking to just happened to have her drinks suddenly topple over him," she stated.

Rolling her eyes and not waiting for a response she moved ahead of him back to the area cordoned off for their party.

He wedged his way in beside her as she talked to a woman there on her other side, blatant in her disregard of him. His drink order came and a cheer went up as Champagne was distributed to the party. Van Pelt shook her head at him but smiled, her eyes gesturing to Clara who had set her mind on another target for the night as she danced with a jean clad rocker who had his hands on her ass. Jane laughed, shrugging, as Rigsby puffed out a breath of relief that his fiancée hadn't been too mad at Jane's solution to her rather hands on friend.

After a minute or two he felt Lisbon relax a little more at his side, her arm brushing against his. He glanced over at Rigsby and Van Pelt who were now whispering sweet nothings to each other, lost in their love and oblivious to everyone around them. He sighed wistfully and moved his arm to the back of Lisbon's seat, brushing his fingers over her hair as he did so. She leaned her head back, clearly aware of the position of his arm. Almost imperceptibly she moved a little closer to him. Gently, he began to twirl a strand of her hair around his finger slowly. He saw her tense for a second then continue in the conversation she was holding beside her. He listened as talk turned to handbags and he smiled as he sipped his water, his other hand still entwined in her hair. There was only so much "girl" talk Lisbon could do. When a song came on that was rather obviously a favourite among the younger women a high pitched squeal went out amongst them and half the party (including the woman at Lisbon's side) raced to the dance floor across the room. She was urged to join them but she pointed to her feet and shook her head. A few moments later just the two of them remained on the couch they sat on.

He continued to play with her hair.

She continued to pay no attention to the fact he was beside her and doing that.

Then she took a large sip of the bourbon he'd procured for her and finally turned towards him. He smiled softly at her and moved his hand to her shoulder, his fingertips ghosting over the top of her arm.

"Having a good night?" he asked.

"I was," she replied, scowling. But she didn't make any attempt to move away from him and continued to stare into his eyes.

"You're looking particularly beautiful tonight, Teresa."

Although a blush came to her cheeks she rolled her eyes at the compliment. "What are you playing at, Jane?"

"Nothing at all. Just stating a rather obvious fact."

She sighed and shifted a few inches away from him, making him lose contact with her shoulder. "I'm not that drunk."

"Ah, for what?" he replied, frowning. "A compliment?"

"You know damn well what."

He raised his eyebrows. "You think I'm seducing you?"

"Aren't you?" she asked plainly.

He paused for a second. "It certainly wasn't my attention to do so when I came here tonight."

She crossed her arms across her chest. "As usual you can never just give a straight answer." She continued, "And what right did you have to get in the way of me talking to that guy at the bar?"

"Oh come on Lisbon, you weren't interested in him."

Sarcastically, "Oh, of course not. Tall. Dark. Handsome. Polite. Why on earth would I be interested in someone like that?"

"So you want yet another man to vie for your attention? Don't you have enough on your plate with Mashburn and..."

He stopped suddenly and drank from his water bottle.

"Mashburn and...?" she repeated.

"You know he's actively pursuing you again," he stated instead of replying to her question. "Mashburn."

She took a large sip of her drink. "Yeah, he made that clear. Not that it's any of your business."

"I just think if you're not interested then you should tell him that."

"Who says I haven't? And again, what the _hell_ has it got to do with you either way?" she replied, her tone gaining volume.

He puffed out a breath and nodded. "Nothing. But...it bothers me, okay? It bothers me seeing you with other men," he replied softly, looking at his feet. "I know I don't have any right to feel that way. Not anymore but...it does in any case." He looked back up at her. "And...I apologise about just now. I just...well you look so good in that dress I suppose I forgot myself for a few minutes. And you didn't exactly do anything to discourage me."

"Yeah, because I've been drinking. My defences are low."

"You just said you weren't drunk."

"I said I wasn't _that_ drunk."

"So drunk enough to allow me to flirt a little but not drunk enough to follow through. Okay," he smiled.

She rolled her eyes at him and shook her head.

He placed his hand from the back of the couch into his lap. "I suppose it's because we've been getting on better-"

She made a disgruntled noise and he stopped talking.

He frowned, "You _don't_ think we've been getting along better lately?"

"I need to use the bathroom," she stated, raising herself from the couch suddenly.

* * *

_Lisbon smelt the wonderful aroma of tomato and basil as she opened her front door. She followed it through to the kitchen where Jane was stirring a pot of sauce. "Hey," she smiled from the door, "You used the key I gave you."_

_He turned and smiled back, "I did." _

"_Didn't see your car out front."_

"_Left it at the motel and took a cab. Figured I'd have some wine with dinner."_

"_Well you could have just stayed the night."_

"_Planning to. Haven't seen you all day."_

"_So then why not drive he-" _

_She stopped and sighed. In the time they'd been together he'd never left his car outside her place if he intended on staying the night, afraid Red John would realise what was going on between them if he did. _

_He pointed to a bottle of red wine on the counter. "Want to open that? Figured we'd celebrate."_

_She made her way beside him and glanced at the wine. "Looks expensive. What are we celebrating?"_

_He kissed her softly on the lips. "Two things. One. Our six week milestone-"_

"_That's hardly groundbreaking," she laughed._

"_Well it is for you. In all the time I've known you I've never seen you go out with anyone for more than a fortnight."_

"_Well that's longer than I've seen you with anyone either since I've known you."_

"_Touché," he smiled, kissing her quickly again._

"_And the second reason?"_

_He regarded her for a moment. "Well obviously court went well." He narrowed his eyes, "Three convictions?"_

"_Yeah," she grinned._

"_Good. Suppose that means I'll get lucky."_

_She kissed him. "You never know. Depends on how good dinner is."_

"_Jesus, you love making me beg for it," he sighed theatrically with a smile. "Here, try this," he added, offering her a spoonful of sauce._

"_Hmm. Tastes great."_

_He pecked her lips again, darting his tongue out quickly to circle them. "Might need a little more pepper." Softly, "Missed you today."_

_Grinning_, "_Missed you too. A day in court with Ardiles is not my idea of fun. How'd it go with Cho in Oakland?"_

"_Meh, waste of time like I told you on the phone. Killer's the brother."_

_She rolled her eyes at his assured tone. "Well, you working on a plan to catch him?"_

"_Naturally, my dear."_

"_Care to share what it is?" she pressed, placing her arms around his waist._

"_All in good_ _time," he replied. "Now, you ready for dinner?"_

* * *

He caught up with her outside the bar, shivering in her dress as she tried to flag down a cab. "Trying to ditch me, were you?" he asked, taking his jacket off and putting it around her bare shoulders.

She glared at him instantly. "Well you're hardly one to talk where running off is concerned. But I've had enough to drink. Time I went home," she said quickly.

"We didn't finish our conversation."

"There is no conversation to finish," she stated, shrugging off his jacket and giving it back to him.

He sighed wearily. "At least let me give you a ride home. It's Friday night. You'll be waiting all night for a cab. Stop being so stubborn."

She looked at him warily and shook her head. "I'll wait," she said.

He placed the jacket gently around her shoulders again and left his hands there. "What are you afraid of, Teresa?" He looked deep in her eyes. "Afraid we won't be able to stop ourselves if we're alone?"

"I have more willpower than that," she said stiffly. "Fine. Where's that contraption of yours parked then?"

A few minutes later she smiled, getting into his Citroen. "You might be sorry you offered me a lift home. Might vomit if you go as fast you usually do."

"If you do then you'll be cleaning it."

* * *

"_God, that was good. I'll be putting weight on if you continue to feed me like that," Lisbon said, patting her stomach._

"_Not with the exercise regimen you have us on," he winked as he cleared their plates._

_She got up and noticed a file on the side of the couch. "Is this the Fletcher case?" she asked, opening it. Upon seeing it wasn't their current case her face dropped. "Oh, it's the Norris one," she continued. _

_Jane came back in from the kitchen, their wine glasses refilled, "Yeah, I wanted to ask you about the tea they tested."_

_Handing her a glass he gestured to the couch for them to sit. "I'll wash up later."_

"_What about the tea?" Lisbon asked, sitting beside him._

_He took a sip of wine and put his feet up on the coffee table, his free arm around her shoulder. "The forensics report states that a box of tea was tested for toxins."_

"_Yes, that's correct. Nothing found. It was the first thing I thought to check. Everyone knows as soon as you go anywhere you check out the tea selection."_

_He smiled, "Indeed. Only one box at Norris" house. What about the tea in the cup I used? I couldn't find a trace of the results of that in the report."_

_She placed her wine on the coffee table and frowned at him. "Jane, there was no tea to test from the cup. You drank it all, washed it out and put the cup on the drainer."_

_He mirrored her frown, setting his own glass down and moved forward on the couch. "No. I didn't. I only drank half a cup and then left it on the counter. I used a purple cup with yellow dots."_

"_Yeah, that's the one that sat on the drainer. Empty."_

_Realisation hit them both simultaneously. Lisbon stated, "So, the toxin must have been in the tea-" _

_She stopped and shook her head but Jane was ahead of her line of thinking. "You're wondering how that's possible if the tea leaves themselves were tested and came up blank."_

"_Exactly."_

"_The box that was tested. Did it have a little nick in the right hand corner, about a millimetre thick, like someone had opened it quickly and tore the packaging a little?"_

_She widened her eyes both at his clear recall on such a miniscule detail and how she was expected to remember it with the same clarity. "I don't know, Jane. But it's still in evidence."_

_He nodded, "We'll dig it out tomorrow. Perhaps the box I used was replaced with another one."_

"_If you're correct you know what you're saying, right? That a cop or one of the emergency responders lifted evidence from the scene. To be honest it wouldn't have been difficult. After you..." She swallowed at the memory. "After you collapsed there were people running around everywhere. The fact it was already a crime scene was pretty much forgotten."_

"_Hmm. Interesting isn't it?" he said, dropping a kiss to her head. "Can we get a list of people at the scene? I want to start interviewing them as soon as possible. See if I can read them; find the one who did it. May lead me to whoever poisoned me."_

_She nodded. "Yeah, I'll get on it in the morning." She paused a moment, deep in thought then felt his arm around her again. "Hey, you okay? It's a good thing, Lisbon. We're getting closer."_

"_Yeah...yeah I know," she said quietly, suddenly afraid of what they were getting closer to. Swallowing she asked, "Jane, do you think...do you think Red John could have done this?" All at once she was plagued with the notion that her asking for Red John's help was part of a larger manipulation from him in the first place. That somehow he knew she'd ask and he'd engineered Jane's poisoning for just such an event._

_When she saw Jane frown she continued, "I mean hiding evidence, targeting you...we know he knows people in Law Enforcement. And everyone knows you make tea everywhere you go. Could Norris be just a random killing to get the CBI"s, and so your, attention?"_

_He nodded thoughtfully, considering her argument. "I can't see it. Not impossible but highly improbable I'd say. It's more likely that Norris drank the tea and I, like the idiot I am, took a cup after him from the same packet before whoever was tasked with hiding the evidence could do so. Besides, what would his motivation be for almost killing me that particular way?"_

_His counter argument was just as persuasive and she was in two minds whether it might be time to finally come clean. Then her cell phone rang. "Damn it," she muttered. She glanced at the screen. "It's Wainwright. Looks like we're up."_

* * *

On the way back to her place Lisbon fell asleep with her head pointing towards Jane as he drove. He kept to the speed limits and glanced over at her occasionally, sighing at her response to his comment from earlier. He thought he was making some headway and that things were slowly improving between them again. But her derisive snort when he mentioned that fact and her sudden rush from the bar meant she thought otherwise. He pulled up at her condo and tapped her shoulder. "Lisbon, we're here."

No response other than a half snore he delved into her clutch for the front door key and exited the vehicle. He opened the passenger door and gently unbuckled her seatbelt. "Teresa," he said softly in her ear. "Wake up."

"Hmm," she sighed.

He grinned, "Come on snookums, your husband will be home any minute. You need to get dressed."

She opened her eyes immediately, blinked rapidly to bring his face into focus. She took a breath, licked her lips to bring moisture back into them. "You ever call me snookums again I'll punch you."

He grinned again. "That's my girl." He gestured for her to get out of the car. "Come on then, up and at 'em."

Glowering at him she acquiesced, suddenly regretting that last bourbon as her head went a little light when the air hit her. Jane placed a hand on her elbow as he guided her up the path to her door. She began to open her bag and he was ahead of her, opening the door. "Got it covered," he said, placing his hand on her lower back to nudge her inside.

"Key," she demanded as he stood on the doorstep.

He rolled his eyes and placed it in her palm. She took it and went inside, kicking her heels off as she did so. "Oh god, that feels good. How can women wear them every day!" she exclaimed, drifting towards the couch and laying her head back on it. Jane walked in after her and closed the door.

"Where do you think you're going?" she asked as he made his way to the kitchen.

Ignoring the question he reappeared a minute later with a large glass of water and two headache tablets, placing them on the table in front of her. He raised his eyebrows at her. "Take the tablets. Drink the water," he ordered her.

Although she rolled her eyes she popped the pills into her mouth and took a long glug of water to wash them down. As he was continuing to watch her with a stern look on his face she stuck her tongue out at him afterwards to show she'd taken the tablets. And well, just to stick her tongue out at him in her slightly intoxicated state.

"Very mature," he stated with a smile as he went back to the kitchen.

Minutes later she had settled her head on the back of the couch again and had almost drifted off to sleep when she felt him sit beside her, the aroma of tea hitting her. She frowned and opened her eyes. "What are you doing?"

"What does it look like?" he replied, turning on the television.

She frowned again, her alcohol addled brain wondering if she'd just entered some alternative universe. "You know you don't live here, right? And that you're not exactly welcome for a social call?"

He smiled beside her. "I'll go when you finish your water and I finish my tea," he told her as he watched television, predictably tuning it to a wildlife channel and turning off the sound.

She huffed and moved forward, glugging the water down until the glass was empty. She raised her eyebrows at him expectantly. He took a tiny sip of tea and placed the cup back on the coffee table again, easing himself back onto the cushions.

"I could just make you leave," she stated.

He chuckled. "In your state? For once I think I'd have the upper hand." He chanced a seductive glance. "Although the attempt might prove fun for both of us if you tried to manhandle me in your current condition."

Exasperated she pulled her feet up beside her and began to rub her toes after wearing her heels all night.

Jane glanced down at her feet and then to her face. "I promise no ulterior motives," he said softly.

He did give the most amazing foot rubs and in her less than compos mentis state and the soles of her feet throbbing she couldn't think of anything better. She rolled her eyes, placing her feet in his lap. "There better not be or you'll get a foot in the face."

"Such poetry," he remarked, beginning to massage the base of one of her feet with his thumbs using circular clockwise then anticlockwise movements. "You really ought to publish a book with such idioms."

She closed her eyes and laid her head back as he continued with his soft and then hard kneading on her foot. "Can't you just do that without talking?" she yawned.

For once he did as he was told. For ten minutes he massaged her feet, smiling as he heard her try to suppress moans of satisfaction when he released a knot of tension. Softly, aware she was almost asleep but also intensely relaxed he asked, "So why do you think things aren't getting better between us?"

She opened her eyes immediately then rolled them. "No ulterior motives, huh?"

He continued to massage her feet, his fingers pinching her toes lightly, "It's just a question, Lisbon. We've no hope of patching things up if we don't talk about this stuff."

She began to laugh immediately. Loud chuckles boomed around the living room as she pulled her feet from his grasp and sat up beside him again.

"Something funny?" he stated.

She stopped laughing suddenly and fell back onto the couch again with a loud sigh. "Just the opposite," she stated wearily, her eyelids drooping.

His head fell back beside hers and for a few moments they gazed at each other. "Tell me," he said softly.

She shook her head. "Not tonight. I'm beat."

"You're deflecting."

"I know," she sighed. "Just don't want to think about any of that stuff tonight. Brain isn't exactly at full capacity."

"Okay. But soon." His eyes flicked to her lips and back to her eyes.

"Don't," she said quickly.

"Don't what?" he replied, leaning his head onto the back of the couch as he continued to stare at her.

"Don't look at me like that."

"Can't seem to stop myself. We had some good times on this couch."

She smiled sadly and moved one of her hands slowly to a few wisps of his hair that had settled on top of the sofa. She brushed the strands with her fingertips carefully, tired eyes focused on what she was doing. He closed his eyes and breathed heavily, moving his head further into her hand so he could feel her soft caresses more. "God, I've missed you doing that," he said, raw emotion in his tone.

"You didn't have to," she said quietly.

He opened his eyes and nodded. "I know. I'm sorry," he replied barely audibly, absolute sincerity in his tone.

"I know you are," she responded in a whisper.

He moved an arm around her waist and pulled her against him, laying them both down on the couch. She didn't struggle and soon they were entwined in an embrace, her back cushioned near the back of the sofa as his arms held her close. He laid his head on her shoulder and she continued to caress his hair as he traced his fingers up and down her back in lazy strokes.

After a few moments she said, "You know this isn't how friends act."

"I didn't think we were friends again yet," was his response.

"Well colleagues certainly don't do this either."

"Really?" he smiled. "I'm sure Cho and Rigsby cuddle up together like this on occasion."

She laughed softly and he squeezed her tighter. "Also we're more than colleagues," he added.

"Hmm. I suppose we don't have a label for what we are now," she stated, yawning. "But then I guess we never did have one."

"I really am sorry about leaving how I did," he reiterated.

"I don't want to talk or think about that now," she said, continuing the soft strokes over his locks.

He kissed her shoulder softly. "Okay. Let's just sleep then."

She nodded; relieved he hadn't attempted to seduce her. She wasn't completely certain she'd have been able to resist if he had pushed things more in that direction. Instead she melted into the once familiar presence holding her, her mind set only on the comfort she felt right now and blocking everything else out but that feeling of warmth and security. It was like a detente of sorts, both of them calling a truce to hostilities to find some reassurance in each other's embrace, even if it might only last for a few hours.

* * *

**A/N: Just to let you know I'm away for a few days but am working on an update to Chance Encounter next. Hoping to have it posted Monday/Tuesday.**


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: Thank you to all of you who reviewed and sent me words of encouragement after the last chapter. They really did bring me out of my writing funk and those of you who also write know what that's like and how a few nice words can make all the difference.**

* * *

Chapter 26 - Arguments

_Jane rolled over to the other side of the bed away from the warmth of Lisbon's body beneath him, his breathing ragged from their lovemaking. He grinned, the whiteness of his teeth illuminating the darkness of her bedroom._

_Lisbon turned on her side towards him, her fingertips absentmindedly untangling the small patch of matted hair at the centre of his chest as it glistened with perspiration. "Care to share what's so funny?" she smiled._

"_Hmm? Oh nothing," he replied, placing his hand on top of hers and caressing the back of it, his lips still formed into a wide smile._

"_Jane!" she laughed, patting his chest playfully. "Don't make me hurt you," she warned with another smile._

"_For once that sounds like it might be fun," he chuckled. "Although you may need to give me ten minutes first."_

"_Ten minutes, huh? More like half an hour at least," she giggled. "Come on, spill."_

_He laughed again, moving on the bed to take her in his arms. "I was just thinking that I love the days we close cases."_

"_Oh? Why, because of the pizza?" she asked, feigning innocence._

_He kissed the top of her head. "So you already know that you are little more exuberant on days like these? All that adrenalin pumping its way through your system that makes you defile me as soon as we get through the door."_

_She turned her face to him and raised an eyebrow. "Defile you? Seriously?"_

_He kissed her gently as he ran his fingers down her cheek. "Hmm. And it was absolutely wonderful," he smiled against her mouth._

"_Well of course it's the only reason I keep you around," she replied._

_He began to nibble on her earlobe. "To have your wicked way with me?"_

"_No. To close cases of course."_

"_You're still sticking to that old story, are you?" he said, turning to hover over her body and nuzzle her neck as his fingers ghosted over her breast. _

"_Hmm," she moaned lightly, tilting her head so he could kiss the spot at the side of her neck. _

"_See, less than ten minutes," he said as she felt him harden against her thigh. "Biofeedback can be trained to work in a number of ways, Teresa." _

_She moaned again, her hand trailing down his body to feel him, fondle him. "Thank god," she breathed._

* * *

_After another round of lovemaking they lay together again, completely sated and spent._

"_You haven't mentioned the Norris case in a while," she said, yawning. Part of her hoped that he'd given up on it, as unlikely as that was._

"_Nothing much to report lately," he said, mirroring her yawn. "After confirming tea boxes were definitely switched I'm still interviewing people at the scene. So far nada." He draped an arm across her waist. "And as you keep me busy day and night I haven't had much time to look into it. And when I do have some time I need to catch up on my sleep." He kissed her shoulder. "Not that I'm complaining." _

_He straightened up again and glanced at the clock on the nightstand beside him. "As we closed that case today, I'll interview some more people tomorrow."_

"_Unless we get a call out," she countered._

"_Hmm, indeed."_

_She placed her head on his chest and an arm across his stomach. "Did you hear about Rigsby and Van Pelt?"_

"_You mean about their meeting with Wainwright?"_

"_Yeah."_

"_No."_

_She frowned, looking up at him. He smiled at her in response. "I knew they were working up to meeting with him about their relationship. And when you mentioned them-"_

"_You guessed they had."_

"_Precisely. So how did it go?"_

_She arched both eyebrows. "Don't you know already?"_

_He narrowed his gaze at her, studying her expression that she was trying to keep neutral. "It went well. He put up a fuss about keeping it out of the office but relented in the end."_

_She rolled her eyes. "Know it all."_

_He laughed and responded, "Well good for them. Took them long enough to get round to it. They've been trying to keep things under wraps for what...more than three months now?"_

_She nodded. "Yeah, something like that." She knew exactly how long it was since she and Jane had been having a relationship and keeping it a secret (outside the team) not long after her agents had started seeing each other again. While she'd been happy for them that they'd been approved to both work and have a romantic personal relationship she couldn't help herself wanting more out of her own. Not much had changed since she'd got together with Jane and he seemed more than happy for things to stay as they were between them. _

"_I suppose they wanted to make sure it was going to work this time before they went to the trouble," he continued as he discussed Rigsby and Van Pelt. "As the last time it broke them up."_

"_Yeah, I guess so," Lisbon replied. _

_He kissed the top of her head and glanced at the clock again. She knew this routine like the back of her hand now. "I better go soon," he said softly, kissing her head again. "It's gone eleven."_

"_You could just stay," she said quietly. Until now she had said nothing when he'd made his midnight flits from her bedroom but tonight she wanted more from him. While she knew he wasn't ready to go public with their relationship for fear of a reprisal from Red John she felt she deserved more than she was getting. She wanted some kind of commitment, some kind of a promise that things wouldn't always be the way they were now, even just by staying with her simply because she asked him. _

_Immediately though she felt him tense immediately at her words. "But my car's outside," he replied softly. "So I...I can't stay tonight, Teresa."_

_She bristled immediately and huffed, thrusting herself back to the other side of the bed. "Then you may as well just go now."_

_He turned towards her, "Come on, Lisbon. Don't be like that. I'll stay tomorrow night if you want. You think I wouldn't rather be tucked up here with you than in that sad motel room?"_

_Angrily, "I don't know, Jane. I think if you really wanted to be here then you would be."_

"_I'm trying to keep you safe-"_

"_I don't need you to protect me, Jane. I never have."_

_As she was getting increasingly annoyed he sighed wearily and moved off the bed, dressing himself. "We'll talk about this when you're feeling a little more rational tomorrow," he said soberly._

_His calmness only agitated her more. "Do you have any idea what this feels like? When you leave like this after we have sex?" She caught sight of his wedding ring, still firmly planted on his left hand. "It makes me feel like we're having a goddamned affair, that's how it feels!"_

_He raised his eyes to the ceiling as he pulled his jacket on. "Well I was perfectly happy to stay another hour, have something to eat together, watch some TV before I left-"_

"_Oh I'm honoured," she spouted, her voice thick with sarcasm._

_He rolled his eyes and came round to her side of the bed. He bent down and went to kiss her but she stubbornly turned her lips from him. He cupped her cheek and brought them forcefully to his. He pecked her once, twice but she didn't respond. He sighed again, kissed her softly for a final time. "And you say I'm stubborn." He kissed her cheek. "I'll see you tomorrow," he said quietly, kissing her cheek again. As he reached the bedroom door he whispered, "I love you."_

* * *

She woke as sunlight filtered through her living room curtains, the warmth of Jane's body replaced by a throw from the back of the couch he must have placed over her before he left. Parched she took a long sip of the fresh glass of water on the table beside her. She rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling for a few moments, reliving the comfort she'd felt from his arms around her the night before then cursing herself for allowing even that. But she could hardly say he took advantage of her either, she had wanted that embrace just as much as he had.

She wasn't surprised he was gone when she woke; she would have been more surprised if he'd stayed. Unlike when they were together she was relieved he had. She felt awkward enough that she'd let down her guard as much as she had although she had been sober enough to deflect his questioning on the progress of their peacemaking. For now at least.

As he drove to work he sighed as he recalled waking up with Lisbon tucked up against him. He hadn't meant to fall asleep for long at all but a catnap had turned into four blissful hours of oblivion. He'd allowed himself five minutes to savour the feeling as he watched her sleep soundly, her soft breaths tickling his neck then his face as he moved to observe her better. The first time he'd been able to watch her so serene for more than a year, her face unclouded by anger, resentment, disappointment, hurt. He'd brushed a hair from her cheek, smiled as she crinkled her nose as he did so and kissed her cheek so softly his lips hardly made contact. Tears had pricked at his eyes as a rush of longing overcame him and he'd been off the couch quicker than a startled cat a moment later.

* * *

Parking in his normal spot at the CBI he heard the thunderous noise of a sports car as he exited his car. He rolled his eyes as Walter Mashburn pulled into a visitor's spot in a silver Ferrari. He ambled over to him and nodded to his vehicle as Walter got out, taking off his designer sunglasses. "Well it's a better colour than that yellow monstrosity," Jane said amiably, remembering with fondness now wrecking the car in question.

Walter grinned, "Patrick! What are you doing here on a Saturday?"

"Well we don't work nine to five in this job, Walter. Criminals don't keep to a timetable. Speaking of which, what are you doing here?" he smiled.

As the two men made their way into security Walter replied, "Well I'm sure you have a pretty good idea why I'm here."

"Hmm," Jane replied noncommittally as he retrieved his keys, phone and wallet from the plastic tray. As they arrived at the elevator Jane added, "Well she had a late one last night so you might be waiting a while." He knew it was childish but he couldn't help himself continue. "She was exhausted by the time I got her back to her place."

Unaffected Mashburn replied cheerfully, "Oh? You sure it wasn't the company she was bored by?"

Jane bit back a smile at his quick retort. If the man wasn't so blatant in his pursuit of Lisbon he was sure they could be friends. As they made it to the break room Jane glanced at her office, blinds closed and door locked. "See? Not in yet," he said, nodding to Cho who was already at his desk.

"I don't mind waiting," Mashburn replied as they went to the kitchen area.

"Tea?" Jane offered politely.

As both men sat at the table in silence Mashburn suddenly said, "By the way, I asked my assistant about Henry Jacobs. No appointments with him so I presume I never met him unless we were in a crowd. What does he look like?"

"Hard to say," Jane replied. "He's a ghost."

"Well that sounds intriguing."

Jane shrugged. "Not as much as you'd think."

Just then Rigsby entered the kitchen and immediately shook his head at Jane. "Thanks a bunch for last night, man."

"My pleasure," Jane grinned.

Rigsby rolled his eyes at him and then noticed it was Mashburn sitting opposite him. "Oh, sorry, Mr-"

"Walter, please, Wayne. Don't be so formal. We've met before," Mashburn said, standing up to shake the other man's hand. "And I believe congratulations are in order," he smiled.

Rigsby glanced at Jane nervously for a moment. "Um...yeah. Thanks. How did you know?"

Mashburn grinned. "Oh you know, word gets about," he dropped another smile in Jane's direction.

Jane held his teacup handle a little tighter. So he and Lisbon were obviously still in communication. "I wouldn't ask Walter for any tips, Rigsby," Jane smiled. "Not really the settling down type, are you Walter?"

"Oh I don't know, Patrick. The right woman can change any man's mind."

Rigsby glanced from one man to the other, suddenly feeling like he was in the middle of a cock fight. He cleared his throat, picked up the pace of him making his coffee only for Mashburn to place an envelope beside him. "My gift to you and your beautiful bride."

Rigsby frowned at the envelope, confused why this relative stranger was giving them a wedding present. "What...what is it?"

"Well you won't know until you open it, will you?"

Jane watched with fascination as Rigsby opened the envelope. After taking out a sheet of paper and reading it for a few seconds Rigsby's eyebrows hit his hairline. "A honeymoon! Anywhere in the world?!" A second later he offered back the letter, "Thank you but...I can't accept that...it's...it's too much. You hardly know us."

Mashburn grinned with satisfaction. "Don't be ridiculous, Wayne. It's nothing. Just call my travel agent at the number at the top of the page there when you decide where you both want to go. All expenses will be covered. I'd recommend Paris. The Shangri La there has magnificent views of the Eiffel Tower. Very romantic."

Rigsby grinned, "Really?"

Mashburn mirrored his grin. "Really," he confirmed.

Jane got up suddenly, the scraping of the chair against the floor gaining both men's attention. Rigsby dropped his gaze, ashamed he'd been conversing with the enemy.

"Take it, Rigsby. You and Grace deserve it." Jane knew Mashburn had only presented the gift to ingratiate himself with Lisbon's team but there was no reason why his two co-workers shouldn't profit from his extravagance.

"You think?" Rigsby asked, his eyes asking Jane the real question on his mind. _You sure?_

Jane smiled softly at his old friend, humbled by the other man's loyalty to him despite his abandonment of the team. "Absolutely."

Rigsby relaxed his shoulders, drew Mashburn into an awkward hug. "Thank you! Wow, this should help Grace's hangover!" he laughed as he left the room.

As soon as he left them the smile fell from Jane's lips. "You're an idiot if you think that's how to win her around. Don't you know her at all? She isn't impressed by your money, Walter."

"I'm just doing a nice thing for a young couple in love, Patrick."

"Of course you are," he replied with an eye roll.

"Don't be so bitter, Patrick. Just because you couldn't make things work with Teresa-"

"What happened between us is none of your damn business," Jane came back with sharply. Although he had intimated he knew about their history on his last visit this was confirmation of the fact. It riled him to think that Lisbon had discussed their relationship with the man standing in front of him. Not helped by the fact he was also her ex-lover.

"Hey, calm down. I know things ended badly-"

"You know nothing about it," Jane bit back.

Mashburn leaned against the counter. "Don't I? I know enough. You left her heartbroken-"

"Shut the hell up!" Jane said through gritted teeth, his hands turning into fists at his sides as he invaded Ashburn's personal space with menace.

"What the hell is going on?!" Lisbon said as she eyeballed both men. "Jane!" she added, wide eyed as she saw him bear down on the other man.

He pulled away immediately then shot her a look of contempt before shaking his head and storming out of the kitchen.

Wide eyed she looked at Mashburn. "What on earth happened?"

He shrugged, "Nothing really. Just told him a few home truths. Suppose he didn't take too kindly to them."

She rolled her eyes. "Walter, we need to talk."

* * *

_He tapped on her office door the next morning before he stuck his head in. She looked up from her desk and he noticed the extra makeup she'd applied to hide the dark shadows beneath her eyes from a lack of sleep. She'd obviously had as much of a restless night as he had after their tiff. "Is it safe to enter?" he smiled._

_She nodded and bit her lip. "Yeah," she said softly. "Come on in."_

_He grinned and entered, closing the door behind him and sat in the chair opposite her. They both spoke at the same time. "I'm sorry."_

_They laughed and Jane breathed out a sigh of relief. Lisbon said, "I'm sorry about last night. I was...-"_

"_Upset. I know. You see Rigsby and Van Pelt moving their relationship forward and you want some manner of commitment from me too," he finished for her._

"_I guess," she replied. "But it wasn't right to push you like that. You've always been honest with what you could offer me the way things stand currently." She shrugged, "I know what I signed up for. Forget about what I said. I'm fine with how things are." She knew there was no point arguing about Red John with him as he was clearly nowhere near ready to be swayed on the subject. _

"_No, you're not," he said softly with a sigh. "Nor should you be." He puffed out a breath and asked, his voice wavering as he fiddled with his wedding band, "I understand if this is too hard for you, Teresa. A relationship but...not a relationship. It's hard for me too but...well I'm too selfish and in too deep to let you go. But if you want out-"_

"_I don't," Lisbon interjected quickly. Softer, "I don't. But...yeah, it's hard sometimes. And normally the good times make up for those times it's difficult. It's just that lately we've been working so much the good times have been in short supply. And the news about Grace and Wayne was a catalyst I suppose."_

_He smiled, thanking a god he didn't believe in that she didn't want to end things between them, unrepentant about his selfishness. "So then how about we tip the scales the other way?"_

"_And how do you propose we do that?"_

"_We're not working or on call next weekend, correct?"_

"_Yeah. Team has the highest closure rates so we get the holiday weekend off."_

"_How about we go away somewhere?"_

"_Together?"_

_He rolled his eyes and laughed. "Yeah, that would be the general idea."_

"_I'm supposed to be visiting my brothers in Chicago," she countered._

"_I know and you're dreading it. And will probably not go through with it and volunteer to work instead."_

"_Smart ass," she replied. Getting excited by the notion of a weekend away together she grinned, "So, where would we go?"_

"_Somewhere outside California. Somewhere beautiful, romantic. Somewhere...somewhere we can be like every other couple in love," he answered with sincerity, imagining being able to touch her freely in public, walk with her hand in hand on a beach with no fear of prying eyes._

"_So not Vegas then?" she smirked._

_He rolled his eyes in return. "Way to ruin a touching moment," he smiled._

_She laughed and he breathed deeply as it lit up her face. "Allow me to plan it. You'll love it."_

"_Okay," she grinned. _

_He leaned back in the chair and smiled seductively at her. "You know after a couple have an argument and have made up I believe there's some kind of...formal process for sealing the deal," he said vaguely, waving his hand around. He tapped his index finger to his lips. "Can't seem to recall what the term is."_

"_Make up sex?" Lisbon frowned._

_Jane was off his chair in a shot. "If you insist. I'd hate to fly in the face of such a tradition. Meet me in the attic in five minutes," he grinned._

_She raised an eyebrow and then opened a file on her desk. "Nice try," she smiled._

* * *

When she entered her office she jumped slightly. The blinds still closed Jane sat on her couch, his expression grim. "What have I told you about breaking in here?" she said without much vigour, shoving off her jacket. After their loosely compromising position the night before she was a little embarrassed to look him in the eye. "And what is it with you and Walter and this juvenile pissing contest you both seem intent on?" she muttered. She went over to open the blinds and Jane barked, "Leave them closed."

For the first time since she entered she looked him in the eye, saw the anger in his face. She turned fully towards him and crossed her arms over her chest. "What the hell is the matter with you? And why don't you want me to open the blinds?"

"I'll answer your second question first. Unless you want the team to witness another argument between us then I'd suggest you keep them closed."

"So you're mad with me? Why? If anything I should be the one who's angry. Practically coming on to me last night when my defences were lowered-"

"I did no such thing. If I'd really wanted to seduce you I would have," he said bitterly but with assurance.

"Jesus, your ego really knows no bounds. So, what is it? What have I done this time? Snored too loudly?" she offered, rolling her eyes. Her head began pounding and she took a sip of the coffee she'd brought in with her. She was in no mood to have this conversation. After her rather pleasant awakening it had turned into the morning from hell already.

He stood up and faced her. "What did you tell Mashburn about us?" he asked, stony faced.

"Oh my god, seriously? Him again? Jane for the tenth time-"

"What did you tell him?" he reiterated, stepping closer still so their faces were mere inches apart.

She shrugged, "Nothing really. I don't know what the hell your problem is but don't think you can intimidate me, Patrick Jane!"

He took a step back but his expression remained stern. "Well he seemed to know all about our history. And our break up. Sounded like you poured your heart out to him."

"Well you're mistaken. All he knows that we were together and that we broke up after a falling out. And he guessed we were together that way. I didn't just tell him."

"But you confirmed it."

She rolled her eyes again. "Yeah, I did. What of it?!"

"I'd rather you didn't go round discussing our sex life for one. And certainly not with him!"

"Oh for pity's sake, Jane. You know I didn't do that." She regarded him closely. "Sounds like he was right, though. He got right under your skin," she said with a smirk.

She walked round her desk and began to search it for some headache tablets, the conversation over as far as she was concerned.

"Did you mention what happened with Red John?" he persevered.

She looked to the heavens. "So that's why you're really mad, huh? Not because of jealousy or to protect your modesty. I'm an idiot. I should have known it was about him." The banging in her head intensified and she raised her voice to compensate. "Of course, when the hell is it ever not!"

"Well, did you?" he glared, approaching her desk, his eyes dark and unforgiving.

"No!" she screamed, her hand still in the drawer and rifling for the pills furiously.

He narrowed his eyes at her. "Are you sure?"

"Jesus! Yes, I'm sure! I'm sure! Okay!" she yelled at him, picking up what she thought was the pill bottle from her drawer again and launching it at him in a fit of anger. It was only when the object hit him squarely on his left temple that she realised she'd mistakenly thrown a silver wine bottle stopper that bore the word "BOSS" on it, a secret Santa gift from Rigsby the previous Christmas, instead. He stumbled backwards a couple of steps, placed his hand up to the welt on his head, his face contorted in confusion and pain.

"Oh my god!" Lisbon panted, at his side a moment later. She took his arm, lowering him gently onto the couch behind him. She placed a hand on the small cut and he flinched away from her touch immediately. "I'm fine," he said gruffly, taking out a handkerchief to pat the leaking blood from his wound.

Her hands began to tremble and she jumped off the couch, searching through her drawers again for her first aid kit. "Let me clean it for you," she said softly when she returned as she attempted to take his head in her hands, the heat of their argument forgotten.

"I'm okay," he said harshly, pulling his head away from her.

"Please, Patrick," she whispered.

He frowned at her use of his first name and the softness of her tone and he took in her appearance beside him. Her legs were shaking as were her hands as she held an antiseptic wipe in one of them. Reproachful eyes could barely look at him. "Okay," he relented, turning his voice gentle.

She nodded and knelt in front of him as he sat on the couch, her eyes glassy. She took his head in her hands and carefully cleaned the wound as gently as she could, her eyes focused there and not on the rest of his face. He watched her make her ministrations, a pout on her lips as she concentrated. Her chest rose and fell quickly, telling him she was more upset than her expression was letting on.

"It's not the first time you've walloped me," he smiled. "And I had it coming. I baited you from the get go."

She shook her head, turned to get a plaster. "Don't make excuses," she said quietly. "I was out of line." She looked him in the eye as she knelt back down again. "I'm sorry," she said with a ragged breath as she placed the plaster over the cut. "Maybe you should go to hospital, get checked out-"

"Haven't you hurt me enough already today, woman?" he joked, hoping to help her out of her sudden melancholic mood.

"Please don't make jokes, Jane." She shook her head as a tear fell from her eyes. "Not about this."

He furrowed his brow. "Why are you so upset about this, Teresa?" he asked quietly. "I more than deserved it-"

"Stop saying that!" she said as another tear fell.

Suddenly he realised what this was about and he relaxed his expression. Her father. He brushed the tears from her cheek with the pad of his thumb and stared in her eyes. Quietly, "You're not him, Teresa." He shook his head, brushed her cheek with his thumb again. "You could never be him."

A few more tears fell as she barely held onto control. "I was so mad, Jane. It was like blind rage. It wasn't even about what we were arguing about. I hardly remember throwing that thing. It wasn't like I just wanted to get a punch in. I really wanted to hurt you-"

He tilted his head to the side, smiled softly at her. "Well I have that affect on people. Don't beat yourself up about it."

She let out a small laugh and took a breath. Then she noticed he was still looking at her, his hand was still placed on her cheek. She saw his eyes flicker to her lips and her heart raced of its own accord. As if in slow motion she watched him lick his lips, heard his breathing quicken. As he caressed her cheek and he brought his lips towards hers, her eyes fluttered closed in anticipation. She felt his lips a split second later, soft and warm on her own as he kissed her tenderly, pressing two small kisses to her mouth. Then nothing for a moment. As she was about to open her eyes he delved in again, his kiss more insistent. She moaned and parted her lips and he took advantage immediately as his tongue darted inside as both his hands took hold of her face. She knelt up straighter and reciprocated fiercely, her hands bunching in his vest. He groaned and pulled her against him, angling his head so he could deepen the kiss once again. His hands were on her back, one dragging the material of her shirt upwards to bare her flesh as the other kneaded into the soft skin uncovered. Breathless he moved his kisses to her jawline, desperate need overtaking slow seduction as she tangled her hands in his hair and twirled her fingers through his curls. As he began to nuzzle her neck she opened her eyes, closing them again briefly as he expertly nipped at the base of her neck. Then with a semblance of sense she wasn't sure she still possessed she pulled away from him, staggering back to her feet and away from his grasp.

"No," she said, hardly able to breathe. She shook her head, as much to make the point to herself as to him. "No. We both know _that_ would be a mistake." She took a deep breath. "Jesus, we have enough problems as it is without adding sex into the mix."

Before he could answer her the desk phone sounded. She picked it up and answered it, listening for a few moments. Then her eyes went as wide as saucers. She gripped the edge of her desk, nodded into the handset. She shot Jane a look of horror. "No...No I'm still here," she stuttered. "Yeah, I'm sure you're right," she added but shook her head at Jane who was now standing opposite her, puzzled and increasingly worried. "Yeah, my team and I will leave immediately." Jane heard the line go dead but she held the receiver in her hand and was staring into space. He took the phone from her hand, replacing it on the base unit, his mind now focused on the phone call that had affected her and not at what had been going on between them before that.

Concerned, "Lisbon?"

She found his eyes and whispered, "God, Jane. It's Red John."

* * *

**A/N: Yeah, a cliffie! RJ has nice timing, doesn't he? I seem to be in the mood for them nowadays. Next chapter will be full on!**


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: Wow, was amazed by the reviews to the last chapter once again. The people in this fandom are simply wonderful. Thank you. Without further ado, here's the next instalment!**

* * *

Chapter 27 - Florida

"_Oh my god!" Lisbon exclaimed as her eyes widened at the sight of Patrick Jane dressed in a pair of knee length navy blue shorts and a casual white shirt thrown over them, a pair of flip flops finishing off the look. He grinned as he watched her reaction from the other side of the hotel room door before he took her hand and pulled her inside the room._

"_Are you in disguise?" she laughed, her gaze trailing over him again. _

_He kissed her quickly, and then intensified it when he felt her in his arms through the soft cotton of the sundress she wore. "It's called being on vacation, Teresa," he smiled as he released her, taking the holdall off her shoulder and placing it on top of the king sized bed._

"_You made the connection, then?" he asked. He turned when she didn't respond then smiled as he noticed her take in her surroundings. _

"_Jane...this is too much," she said, shaking her head. The room was decorated in soft pastel tones and was almost as large as Lisbon's entire ground floor apartment. Muted seascape prints on the walls were offset with teal and aquamarine cushions that sat on a comfortable couch and a pair of armchairs positioned opposite a wood burning stove. _

"_You haven't seen the best of it yet," Jane replied cheerfully, pulling on a cord beside him to pull back whitewashed wooden panels, revealing four floor to ceiling windows that looked upon crystal blue waters and the almost pure white sand of the Florida Keys. As the room was illuminated with light so were Lisbon's eyes at the stupendous view before her. She grinned at him and he laughed at her almost childlike enthusiasm as she rushed towards the patio doors that lay in the middle of the windows, opening them with excitement to gain a better inspection. A wooden deck lay beneath her feet, a small balustrade in the same wood in front of her, a few steps off both leading directly onto the beach. She leaned her arms on the banister, biting her bottom lip in delight as the sounds and smells of the sea and soft waves washed over her senses. Jane came up behind her, threading his hands around her waist and kissed her on the cheek. "I take it you approve, then," he whispered in her ear. She nodded mutely as her hands caught his around her front, momentarily overwhelmed at the divine place he'd chosen for their trip away. Finally she shook her head, "I've...I've never been anywhere like this in my entire life. It's..."_

"_Paradise," he finished for her, kissing her neck softly. _

_She turned in his arms and kissed him. "It's still too much," she said with a quirk of an eyebrow. "How on earth did you afford this?"_

_He chuckled softly and ignored her question. "So...they have jet skiing, scuba diving, all manner of aquatic activities to keep us busy during the day. What would you like to do first?"_

_She played with the buttons of his shirt and waggled her eyebrows. "I'm a little hot from the plane. I could really use a shower first." She bit her lip and looked at him under her lashes as she smiled. "Want to help me wash my back?" _

_Without another word he grinned and took her hand at once to lead her to the adjoining luxurious bathroom with private ocean views to do just that. _

* * *

_They lay on the bed to rest after their rather energetic shower together, wrapped up in each other's arms wearing fluffy white bathrobes. A cool ocean breeze ran through the room from the opened patio doors. "Okay, this was worth having to take that connecting flight from Chicago," Lisbon said as Jane spooned her, their eyes fixed on the view outside._

"_I know you thought I was paranoid-"_

"_You are."_

_He chuckled. "Okay. I _am_ paranoid but it's a better cover story. I leave my car at my house in Malibu so it looks like I'm spending the weekend there. You take a flight to Chicago so it appears you're there. Then we each take flights from L.A. and Sacramento to get here."_

"_With a stop in Chicago for me in between." She paused. "God, my brothers would kill me if they thought I was in town and didn't go to see them."_

"_Feeling guilty?"_

"_Nope. But I'm feeling guilty that I don't feel guilty about it."_

_He laughed, dragging himself away from her warmth with reluctance. "Come on, get up, we came away so we could be a couple-"_

"_Didn't we just do that?" she smiled._

_He rolled his eyes. "A couple in public. So, up and at 'em, Agent Lisbon."_

* * *

_Jane lay on the sand with a book deciding to sunbathe as Lisbon took a jet ski out after their glass bottomed boat ride. She'd jumped right in scuba diving earlier too. He was constantly amazed at her seemingly endless energy but exceedingly grateful for it in many ways and on many occasions. By the time she arrived back at the beach he'd become bored reading and was helping children build their sandcastle creations instead. He grinned as he saw her approach, her dark locks curled and dripping wet, a white T shirt and lemon shorts covering a black bikini she wore. Her freckles had deepened in the sun and her lack of makeup made them more prominent on her face. She looked absolutely adorable and her effervescent smile only made his widen in response. He took her hand, taking joy in being able to do so in such an untroubled manner and introduced her to the children that had surrounded him. For the next half hour they built sandcastles with them, Jane teaching her how to ensure they were built with strength and precision like he was a master craftsman of the trade as she teased him about his seriousness in the subject. _

_Afterwards they stopped off at a beachfront bar and ordered a couple of cocktails. He held her hand across the table and sighed happily as he sipped his drink through the pink straw he'd been given, watching her intently as she gazed at the ocean in front of her. "I like this version of you," he said after studying her for a few more seconds._

_She took a sip of her cocktail. "What version's that?" she smiled._

_He shrugged, "Vacation Lisbon."_

_She snorted her drink through her straw and raised an eyebrow_. "_I'm _that_ different?"_

"_Certainly. But it's not like I dislike Work Lisbon or Bedroom Lisbon. Quite the opposite especially with the latter. Boss Lisbon can be a little tiring, though, with all those rules and regulations. But Vacation Lisbon? Like a breath of fresh air. It's nice seeing another side to you. So...relaxed, carefree...content."_

_She laughed at his categorisation of her personality quirks. "I could say the same about you," she said, leaning over the table to peck his lips, grinning when he made no attempt to pull back. _

_He cupped her cheek, drawing her into a longer kiss instead. "I suppose you could, my dear."_

* * *

"Lisbon?" Jane said once again when she lapsed into silence once more. She nodded then took a deep breath as she looked at him. "A man and woman have been found murdered in a Hotel in..." She closed her eyes briefly and swallowed, bile rising in her. "A Hotel in the Florida Keys. Two smiley faces above their heads in the bed of their suite."

He blanched instantly and shook his head in disbelief. He puffed out a breath. "I...I don't need to ask the name of the Hotel, do I? By your expression I'm guessing it was the Paradise Palms."

She nodded, pursing her lips and biting on her bottom one to keep her emotions in check. "Yeah," she nodded. "Local PD think it's some kind of copycat-"

"But we know it isn't," he interrupted. Pulling a semblance of himself back together and putting on his well worn facade of calmness he said, "Okay, then we need to go there."

Before she made for the door she asked, "Did you know? Did you know he was planning something-?"

"No," he said immediately shaking his head violently. "I...I thought me coming back...well I imagined he'd make some kind of statement sooner or later but...I swear I had no idea about this."

She nodded, frowning at him, trying to see the truth in his eyes.

He grasped her shoulders and bent down so she could his sincerity. "I swear to you I had no idea, Teresa. No idea he was planning this."

"Okay," she mumbled. "Okay, I believe you."

He released her and nodded. "What are you going to tell the team?"

She rolled her eyes. "Oh god, I don't...I don't know. Truth I guess. They knew we were together back then. They probably knew we were going to spend that weekend together."

"Wainwright still doesn't, though."

She drew a hand down her face as she thought about admitting her past relationship with Jane to her boss and sighed before releasing a deep breath. She shrugged. "Then I suppose he's about to find out."

* * *

They were separated on the plane ride out but he could see her across the aisle as she came to terms with the news they'd been hit with, could almost see her attempt to refortify her walls to keep it together. He was having trouble himself in taking in what had occurred in Florida and the questions it raised about the time they spent there. After telling the team Red John had struck in a place they'd stayed together that was far from California there was a deafening silence evident in the cars they hired as they drew up to the Hotel. Lisbon and Jane looked at each other as they exited the vehicle, remembering the blissful weekend spent there, now tainted by Red John's reappearance.

"You guys are a long way from home!" Officer McKenzie said as he shook Lisbon's hand and nodded to the rest of the team as they introduced themselves, police vehicles and FBI Agents milling around the front of the Hotel. Further introductions made an FBI Agent from the Miami field office called Grant Nicholls led Lisbon and the others through the Hotel.

"Room 5, correct?" Jane asked, hoping he was wrong for once in his life.

"Yeah," Nicholls confirmed then stopped short in front of Jane. "How did you know that? Room number hasn't been released to anyone."

He glanced at Lisbon who was as white as he'd ever seen her. "Lucky guess." He continued walking in front of Nicholls knowing exactly where he was going.

The team exchanged awkward glances as they made their way after him. Forensic techs were still inside the room when Jane arrived although the bodies had been removed by this stage. Still the sight of the two red smiley faces was enough to send a shiver down his spine. The bed sheets, stained red and rumpled lay strewn across the bed and suddenly he found it hard to catch a breath, his vision blurring, memories and reality hitting him simultaneously into a grisly picture of he and Lisbon making love between red soaked sheets.

"Jane?" Van Pelt said, putting a hand to his shoulder to come into the room. He flinched at her touch instantly then apologised. "Sorry, Grace." He entered the room fully and began to look around. The patio doors lay open as sunset approached and it was as if both a dream and a nightmare played out together as a beautiful orange setting sun was the backdrop to the frenzied attack evident in the room. Two worlds bound together in this moment that had no right to exist side by side.

He watched as Cho and Rigsby entered after Van Pelt and began discussing evidence collection with the techs present. Finally he saw Lisbon take a step into the room before stopping as she gazed at the faces on the wall behind the headboard. He'd never witnessed her so affected by a crime scene and it unsettled him to his core that she was having trouble coping, as understandable as it was. He frowned at her as she suddenly made a dash out the patio doors and onto the decking, taking the few steps in one leap to run to the beach. The team turned to him, wide eyed, at her sudden disappearance.

"Is the boss...she looked like she was going to be sick," Rigsby noted, shaking his head. "I've never seen her-"

"She'll be fine," Cho stated, taking charge immediately but with a frown on his face. "Get the crime scene photographs from Agent Nicholls," he told his partner. "Van Pelt, start going over security footage."

"She will be fine," Jane confirmed, noticing Van Pelt look just as worried as Rigsby and barely recognising Cho's order. After checking the fridge in the room had been dusted for prints he retrieved a bottle of water and made his way out to the beach. He saw her at the water's edge, her hands on her knees as she bent over, dry retching into the water.

He pushed the bottle into her hands and she jumped slightly at seeing him there beside her. "If you would actually eat something then you might feel better when you do that," he stated steadily at her side, making sure he kept his tone even, maintaining control while she lost hers.

She took a long gulp of water and swished it around her mouth before spitting it out again into the foam below. "I haven't vomited at a crime scene since I was a rookie," she said, shaking her head and taking another drink of water.

"Wouldn't worry, team just think you might be pregnant, that's all."

She stood upright again and widened her eyes.

"Ashburn's baby apparently," he said with a shrug of indifference and his hands in his pockets as he looked at the waves.

When he saw her eyebrows almost hit her hairline out of the corner of his eye he laughed softly. "I'm kidding, Lisbon." He glanced to her stomach. "Unless there is some truth-"

"How the hell can you joke around at a time like this?!" she stammered loudly in disbelief as she glanced at the suite behind them.

He sighed loudly and faced her, utterly serious again. "Because it's what I do. The more dreadful the scene the more likely I am to make an inappropriate comment. It's my coping mechanism I suppose. Plus I had to engage you. To annoy, anger you. I knew it was the quickest way to get you back to the person you need to be to deal with this."

She stared at him, flabbergasted by his statement. "Well excuse me for taking a moment to allow the truly terrifying awfulness of this situation get to me. I'm sorry I'm not a damn automaton like you!"

He sighed wearily. "You know me better than that to know that's not true. But if I start to lose it too it's not going to get us anywhere. Lisbon, you can't let him get to you-"

"Sorry, _you're_ saying that to me? You, of all people?!" She pointed to the hotel suite. "Those people that died in that room...it was because of us, Jane. He picked them because they slept where we did."

Sternly, "They died because he killed them. You can't blame yourself for his actions."

"Oh, don't give me that. That's the very argument I've used against you for years. And you haven't taken a blind bit of notice."

"Then you should take heed of your own advice. And if not, well if you're using that same argument here then I'm to blame, not you. I booked the place."

"Only because I pressurised you into making some kind of romantic gesture!" She shook her head and wiped a stray tear from her cheek. "God, this is such a mess. How the hell did he even find out we came here? We were so careful."

He sighed and shook his head. "I don't know. I had to use a credit card to book the room. I got a new one just for that purpose but...well I'm guessing that's how."

She paused before she asked the next question. Quietly, "Before we came here?...or after we got back to Sacramento? Do you think...do you think it's possible he was here when we were? That he saw us, watched us?"

He shrugged and looked to his shoes as they tossed around some sand. He had already wondered the exact same thing. "I don't know," he said softly as he looked back up at her.

"Jane, the thought of him watching us when we had dinner together...or at the beach-"

"I know, Teresa," said softly. "But this isn't the time to think about what he may have seen, to let our feelings get in the way. We need to look at this objectively, rationally. It's another opportunity to catch him."

She rolled her eyes. "You really think either one of us can be objective after this?"

"We need to act like it's just another one of his crime scenes. Take our emotions out of it." He softened his tone. "I know it's not easy but...maybe that's what he's counting on. For us to fall apart or miss something because we can't focus."

She took a deep breath as she looked back to the suite. "Okay," she said quietly. She pushed her shoulders back and walked towards the room again to direct her team.

* * *

_When she woke up on the last full day of their weekend she heard Jane on the deck outside. The evening before they'd eaten a lavish dinner in the hotel restaurant wrapped up in each other's company, Jane showering her with affection and kissing her lips or her hand every chance he had. They'd followed dining by dancing to soft jazz melodies by the resident pianist, barely realising they were the only remaining couple on the dance floor until the dimmed lighting had suddenly brightened signifying the bar had closed. They had arrived back in their room soon after and made love until the early hours and their bodies had given in to sated exhaustion. _

_She looked at the clock on the nightstand and saw she had slept in until eleven. She rose lazily from the bed and wrapped a robe around her as she went to find out what he was doing outside. She found him on his back on the deck with a knife raised to the underside of the railing. _

"_What are you doing?" she laughed._

_He jumped as she startled him with her quiet approach, hitting his head on the post beside him in the process and making her laugh again._

_He rubbed the side of his head and laughed, "Good morning, sleepyhead. I thought I was going to have to drag you from that bed." He continued notching something into the bottom of the railing as he spoke._

"_Well maybe you should have woken me up an altogether more appealing way," she smiled. He grinned back at her. "I did that yesterday. You're unquenchable, woman."_

_She laughed and leaned down to get a closer look at what he was doing. Her heart fluttered when she saw he'd carved J&amp;L with a knife into the wood. "That is so corny, what are we teenagers?" she stated but her grin told him how much she loved the silly gesture. "And besides you can't even see it."_

"_You can from underneath. Ensures it won't be painted over any time soon." Getting to his feet, "Hopefully it'll always be there. In case we ever decide to come back. A nice little reminder of our time here."_

"_Yeah, nothing more romantic than an act of vandalism," she laughed._

_He picked up his teacup from the deck and took a sip before setting it down again and taking hold of her waist gently. She settled with her back to him as they looked onto the beach in companionable silence. "I love our little beach," she said after a few seconds. _

"_I love my little Lisbon," he chuckled, earning him a dig in the ribs before she turned round. He kissed her soundly before he grew melancholy before her eyes. "You know we don't have to go back right away. We could just keep travelling."_

_She pulled back and almost laughed until she saw the seriousness in his expression. "Jane, we have jobs."_

"_You don't have to be based in California to be a cop. In fact, you don't have to be a cop at all-"_

"_It's who I am, Jane."_

"_Yeah, I know," he sighed, kissing the side of her head. "But there's a whole world out there, Teresa. Don't you want to see it?"_

"_Of course and that's what vacations are for. But you have to get back to real life or else...what then...your whole life becomes nothing but an endless string of good times?"_

_He smirked, "Why does that sound like something terrible coming from you."_

_She draped her arms around his neck and studied him keenly. "We have responsibilities. Me with my job and you..." She paused and pursed her lips before asking quietly, "Well what about you and your plans for Red John?"_

_He pulled out of her embrace but settled against her as they stood beside each other, his hand around her shoulders. "I've...I've been thinking less and less about my vengeance lately. I'm sure you've noticed."_

"_Of course. So, what does that mean? You want to give up on your idea of revenge?" she asked, rapt with attention._

_He shrugged and pursed his lips. "No...but...I don't want to lose you because of it either. And...well it seems the two aims are mutually exclusive. At least if I'm right in how I always imagined my vengeance would pan out. I don't see how I can get to a stage where I can have both it and you." He ran a hand through his hair. "I suppose I feel I'm at some kind of impasse. Or...well more correctly that one's coming."_

"_I don't understand."_

_He turned towards her. "Teresa, he's been as quiet as a mouse since I was cured. Frankly, I'm a little surprised. I expected him to make some kind of communication with me when I recuperated. But nada. So that leads me to think he's planning something."_

_Her heart raced in her chest. "Maybe...maybe he wants you to move on...maybe he's lost interest in you-"_

_Jane's hearty chuckle made her stop talking. "Lisbon, you've been catching too much sun on this trip if you truly believe either of those things. He would only want me to believe he'd moved on or that he'd lost interest in me so he could pull the rug out from under me later on. Lull me into a false sense of security." _

"_You don't know that for sure," she countered._

"_No, I don't but it's a pretty assured guess. And if he were to find out about us-"_

"_He might know about us already, Jane. You can't be sure he doesn't. And he hasn't done a thing."_

_She saw his amusement turn to anxiety in a flash. "I hope not but it's the same result anyway. He'd find a way to ruin us." He took a breath and she saw the undisguised fear in his eyes. "With perhaps devastating effects." _

_She took his hand and squeezed it._ "_He's not going to get me, Jane. Is that what all this talk of running away is really about?"_

"_The longer we're together the more chance there is of him discovering us, Lisbon. I know...I know it's not fair on you but I am terrified of that. And I know you're a cop and can protect yourself but look at Bosco and his team...they were cops too." He shook his head resignedly, "You know the less I think about carrying out my revenge the more time I'm worrying about him finding out the truth about us. It's like I'm changing one obsession into another." _

_He frowned a beat later. "But you're right in a way. Even if we did leave he'd find a way to get us to come back. He'd come after the team until we did." He let go of a sigh. Quietly, "Well, it was a nice little fantasy to imagine running off into the sunset together for a minute there."_

_When he saw her fearful expression he sighed and pulled her into his arms. "I'm sorry...what on earth are we doing talking about him when we're having such a nice time? Let's...let's forget him, okay? Put him out of our minds?"_

_She nodded, not only upset at the thought of her team being targeted but by his earlier statement. That Red John was simply leaving them alone until he decided to strike and ruin what they had. He'd as much as said that to her when he'd talked to her at the cemetery months ago. She squeezed Jane tight, hoping and praying they were both wrong. _

* * *

When she arrived back into the room with Jane she began barking out orders to her team.

"Rigs, where are we with the security footage?"

"Grace has gone to look at what they've got. Going to get it streamed to our laptops."

"Okay. Cho, when do we get to inspect the bodies?"

"Appointment booked for tomorrow morning. Autopsies are being rushed through tonight."

"Good, Rigs book us rooms at the Holiday Inn up the road. CBI's budget doesn't stretch to staying here." She muttered under her breath, "Not that I'd ever want to stay here again anyway."

Jane's lips quirked as he saw her fully embrace her 'Boss Lisbon' side again and noticed her team's relief reflect his own that she was on top of her game once again as she continued to command them. Satisfied that she was coping he strolled out onto decking and leaned over the balustrade as the moon began its ascent. His fingers felt the railing and searched for the indents in the wood where he'd notched their initials like a lovesick teenager that morning a year ago. He sighed wearily as his fingertips traced the letters, a single tear falling onto his cheek.


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N: Thank you once again lovely readers to the interest in this story. A little bit of an emotional chapter ahead (so what else is new I hear you all say!)**

* * *

Chapter 28 - Truths

Lisbon found him still on the deck thirty minutes later, leaning on the rail and his eyes out to the black sea in front of him, the lines on his face constricted as he stared ahead. "Techs have finished making the last sweep. As it's late I said we'd start up properly in the morning, sent the team to the hotel up the road, said we'd regroup first thing."

When she received no response she took a few steps until she stood beside him, mirroring his pose. She didn't bother asking him if he heard her. She knew him long enough not to take his silence as unawareness. Instead she asked softly, "Why has he done this now?"

He shook his head. In the same quiet tone she used he replied, "I don't know."

"Because you're back?" she ventured.

"Well he was unlikely to do this without both of us witnessing its effect."

She sighed loudly. "But why this, Jane? Just to show that he knew about us all along?"

"I imagine that was part of it."

"To prove he's always been one step ahead," she confirmed.

"Yes."

She was growing irritated by his lack of interaction. "But-"

"I don't know, Lisbon," he interjected, his voice slightly raised. "Whatever question you're about to ask I don't know." He let go of a breath, softened his tone again. "I'm sorry...didn't mean to raise my voice but...I don't have all the answers, Teresa. Especially not where he's concerned."

"Do you think it has anything to do with Janet Walker?"

He shrugged noncommittally. "I-"

"Let me guess, you don't know."

He nodded, paused, sighed again. "I need some more time to think."

"Okay," she agreed, nodding. "But this changes things, Jane. I'm not willing to stand idly by and wait for you to decide when it's time to tell me the whole truth about her murder and what you've been doing since. If something you have done has triggered this-"

"You think I wanted this?!" he asked in astonishment, suddenly turning towards her.

"Of course not but perhaps your digging has prompted this result. That you've got close so he's chosen to do this now to unbalance you." She signed wearily, "Unbalance us." Her tone kinder, "Look I'm not saying you're to blame. Not at all but-"

"I understand, Lisbon." He shot her a small smile. "When things are clearer in my head we'll talk."

She nodded but was unsure if he was being honest or giving her the brush off. And at this instant she was too distracted to make a judgement call and didn't want to provoke an argument if she hastily decided the latter.

"Well I'm going to head to the hotel, might try and get a run in first...see if I can work off some of this...frustration." She blushed when she recounted how that phrase might sound and started to turn away from him. "You can pick up your room key at the reception there-"

"It's still here," he called after her, tilting his head back.

"What is?" she asked, turning back to him.

He felt the letters again carved into the wood and dropped his eyes to his fingers. She followed his gaze and half smiled at him as a shot of pain ripped through her like a bullet. Nevertheless she moved towards him and he shifted slightly so she could feel the letters with her fingers as he removed his. He watched her smile softly as she touched them, the breeze in the air wafting the scent of her coconut shampoo towards him as a few wisps of her hair fell against his cheek.

"Seems so long ago," she whispered, pinning her wayward locks behind her ear as she moved a step away and her arms fell on the rail again.

He turned back to the view ahead, away from her side profile that showed him the sadness in her eyes, "It was long ago," he agreed, clasping his hands in front of him as he leaned on the wood.

She shrugged, "Yeah but it feels longer than that. Feels...feels like it was a dream now. That weekend. Like it almost didn't happen at all." She glimpsed quickly back to the crime scene behind her. "Part of me wishes it never had now."

He nodded, grimaced. Softly, "Why didn't you tell me what you did, Lisbon?"

Tetchily, "Jane, I'm not in the mood-"

He turned his body towards her. "I'm not trying to get into an argument with you. Really I'm not. Believe me that's the last thing I want tonight too. But you had months, Teresa. Not days or weeks. Months to come clean about how I was cured. Hundreds of times to tell me the truth. Why didn't you? Please just tell me so I can try to get my head around it."

Still facing away from him she shook her head slowly. For a moment there was nothing but the sound of waves crashing on the shore. Then the sound of her taking a small breath. Quietly, "Because I didn't want to."

He frowned immediately. As he was about to speak she shook her head, silencing him, and cleared her throat. Louder, "I could give you a hundred excuses, Jane. A hundred reasons why I didn't. That you were happy. That you seemed freer from his grasp, his hold on you. That...I kept quiet for your sake and for your happiness. That it was a favour I was doing you...a kindness..."

She spun round to face him. "But the truth is that I didn't tell you because I didn't want to. There's no real point wrapping it up any other way. I was selfish. I wanted you. I wanted...I wanted us. And I was afraid if I told you I'd lose that." She laughed without humour. "But I guess I was going to lose you either way, huh."

He took a fortifying breath of his own. "You might not have if you'd told me sooner, Teresa. I mean I understand why you didn't straight away. Why you kept it from me initially. I most probably would have reacted...badly. But after...and especially after we got involved-"

"I know, Jane. I screwed up. I know," she sighed.

"When I found out it felt like it was all a lie to me. Us. All of it. That...that every moment we shared," his fingers unconsciously dug into the carved wood beneath them, "that it was suddenly tainted by him. That he'd orchestrated the entire situation and worse still that you were party to it."

"Jane I never-"

"I know you didn't go along with his plan willingly...or because he wanted you to become involved with me for whatever sick reasons he had but..."

Tiredly, "I can only apologise so many times, Jane."

He shook his head emphatically. "I didn't bring this up to get an apology, Lisbon. I brought it up so I could try to understand."

"And do you?"

He shrugged. "I'm trying to and think I do, yes."

The next words almost caught in her throat but she felt compelled to ask them. "Is that how you see me now? Tainted by him?"

He licked his lips nervously and looked away briefly. "At the time...yes I did."

She nodded. "And now?"

He shook his head slowly, his eyes circling her face. He whispered, "No."

"Okay," she said in the same quiet tone. "Good."

They stared at each other for a few moments, each seemingly uncertain what to say next.

Then Jane asked, "Did you know...that last night...did you know what was going to happen when we got back?"

She shook her head as she relived the memory, melancholy almost overwhelming her. "No. But...but after what you said that day...about Red John not being done with you I could feel it was only a matter of time before something occurred. I tried to deny it but I knew you were right. I guess I hoped..." She let out a long breath, "I guess I hoped that it would make a difference when you found out what I'd done. What I said to you that night would make a difference to your reaction."

He looked to his shoes in shame. "I was so angry I couldn't think straight. Or allow myself to think about that night. It hurt too much," he admitted.

He glanced back up at her. "But I never forgot, Teresa. That memory...I tried to suppress it...for months but..." He looked away, deflated as he shook his head, "But I never could. I don't have to be back here to remember it like it was yesterday. Every day I've thought about it."

* * *

_Jane woke up in the middle of the night, the space beside him cool to the touch. He glanced around the darkened hotel room and noticed the patio door ajar. He threw on a robe and padded over to it, catching sight of Lisbon dressed in his discarded white shirt standing outside as she leant over the railing. Quietly he opened the door and regarded her for a few moments in silence. Her hair fluttered behind her as she stared into the night, her face drawn but beautiful, a pale ghost like figure against the darkness around her._

"_Can't sleep?" he finally said, smiling as she jerked at the intrusion into her inner retrospection._

_He saw her cover her worry with a scowl. "Jeez, Jane. You nearly scared me to death!"_

_He came behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. "Why can't you sleep?" he whispered into her ear, kissing it gently._

_She shrugged, relaxed into his embrace. "Don't know. It was a beautiful night so thought I'd make the most of it as it's our last one."_

_He gazed at the stars overhead. "Well we can always come back. Maybe in a few months if I can drag you away from work."_

_She nodded and he noticed tears threatening. "Teresa? Are you okay?"_

_She nodded and turned in his arms, hugging him tightly. He laughed softly and kissed the top of her head. "Hey, what's the matter? Just because we're going home tomorrow doesn't mean this ends. As I see it this is only the beginning for us."_

_She drew her face back and smiled at him. "Sorry, maybe I had a little too much wine at dinner. I'm a little emotional."_

_He laughed and kissed her. _

"_I've had a wonderful time, Jane. I've...I've never been anywhere like this in my life. Never imagined I would. Thank you."_

_He joined his hands around her back. "You don't need to thank me. It was the least I could do. I know...well I know I'm probably not the easiest boyfriend you've ever had."_

_Her eyes lit up at the word. "Boyfriend, huh?"_

_He narrowed his eyes at her. "Isn't that what I am? You got other applicants for the job I need to worry about?"_

_She laughed and kissed him. "Guess I'll make do until someone better comes along."_

_He kissed her soundly. "You'll never get better than me, Teresa Lisbon."_

_Although he said it as a joke she nodded. She paused for a moment as they looked in each other's eyes. "Do you know that memory palace of yours?"_

_He frowned at the change in subject. "Well it wouldn't be much of a one if I forgot it," he smirked._

_She rolled her eyes. "When you remember something...is it just the words...or is it-?"_

"_Depends on what I want to remember. If it's text or a string of numbers it's just that-"_

"_What about this moment? If you wanted to put it in your memory palace what would you remember?"_

_He smiled and raised his eyes, listening to the ambient sounds before closing them and breathing in deeply. Then he looked deep into her eyes. He tightened his hold on her and spoke in a soft murmur, almost hypnotically. "Well if I were to record this moment then I'd remember everything. First the smell of the sea in the air interspersed with the coconut shampoo you use as your hair blows in the breeze, the smell of cinnamon on your skin. Then the sounds of the waves..." He pressed a hand to her heart, "Mingling with the sound of your heartbeat." Smiling, "That appears to be picking up speed right at this moment." _

_He moved his hand from her heart to cup her face."I'd remember the softness of your skin, cool to the touch where it's exposed." He placed the hand from her waist under her shirt to skirt over her back. "Warm where it's covered. I'd recall the heaving of your chest at this very instant, the light weight of your breasts as they press against me, the freckles on your cheeks, the desire in your eyes...god those eyes-"_

_His words were cut off by Lisbon's kiss and he fell into instantly. They broke apart and he took a breath. "And I'd remember how you taste. A hint of red wine, then peppermint tea and toothpaste. If I were to record this moment then I'd remember all of that."_

_She took a breath of her own. "Can you make an addition?"_

_He smiled and nodded, almost incapable of speech, hoping he was reading her correctly._

"_I love you," she breathed._

_He grinned when he saw her expression, adorably worried by saying those three words. Then he found himself unbelievably touched. He knew she did. But having her say them out loud...the first time anyone had said those words to him in almost a decade...A ragged breath escaped his lips. "I love you too, Teresa." He kissed her softly. "So much it terrifies me."_

_As soon as a tear slid down her cheek he was unable to hold himself together and wiped his eyes before laughing in joy. "You'll remember?" she said with an earnestness he'd never seen from her before._

"_Of course-"_

"_No matter what happens...no matter what happens when we go back-"_

_He pulled her into his arms and kissed her hair. "I'll never forget this moment, Teresa. Never."_

* * *

Another uneasy silence broke out between them. As Lisbon was about to make her leave she asked, "So you understand why I did what I did now, you're okay with that part?"

He shrugged. "More than why you wouldn't tell me about it afterwards but I'm working through that."

"But you still don't get it, do you? Why I went to him."

"I realise you must have been desperate. That you wouldn't have unless you were. I get that. I do. And I understand your logic. If I try to look at it rationally it was...a smart choice."

"But?"

"But..." He pursed his lips. "Well for one I'm not exactly good at looking at any situation he's involved in with any kind of rationality. But by doing what you did you put yourself in his crosshairs. You became a major player in his game with me."

"Jane I've been in this _game_ as you put it for years-"

"Not like that you haven't. Not until then. You engaged him, Lisbon-"

"Yeah, to save your sorry ass!"

Frustrated, he ran a hand through his hair. Evenly, "I told you I didn't want to argue with you, Lisbon, but you did engage him. For whatever good reason you had at the time." He glanced at her sideways, "Although now you're probably wondering why you bothered."

"Not for the first time," she grumbled, shaking her head.

He couldn't suppress a small smile. Serious again, "You engaged him. It piqued his interest in you. More than he already was. Until then his interest in you was based solely on how you might affect my actions, my behaviour. But when you contacted him you changed that. He saw you as an entity entirely on your own, tied to me but more an equal than the appendage or leverage he'd seen you as until that point. And now I'm back he's more curious about you than ever it seems."

"What? He hasn't contacted me since the day he gave me that serum to cure you." She frowned suddenly, "Is...Is that why you left...you wanted to draw his attention away from me?"

He shook his head slowly. "I wish I could say that was true. Would sound quite admirable in a way, wouldn't it? That I ran off to keep you safe. But it isn't I'm afraid. I left because I was mad-"

"Is it partly why you stayed away for so long?"

Jane glanced at the hotel room behind them, effectively changing the subject. "When have you ever known Red John to paint two faces on the wall?"

Caught off guard for a moment she furrowed her brow. "He killed two people-"

"He's done that before," he stated, his eyes cold with hatred for the murderer of his wife and child. "Still only one face."

She swallowed, her mouth suddenly dry from his stare and this entire conversation. "So why two all of a sudden? Because he's making a point? A statement to both of us that he's no longer just playing with you. That he's back and wants me in the game he has lined up now too?"

He nodded.


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N: Apologies for the lack of progress on all my stories currently. Have been off my game the last few days. To be honest I'm not sure what I'm posting below should even be posted but I think I'm at that stage where I just need to post it and move on. I'll endeavour for next chapter to be more to your (and my) liking. **

**Also, there's currently a buzz on tumblr about a Virtual Season 8 for those of you who aren't on there or Twitter and are not already aware of it. The project is looking for writers, animators, gif makers, basically anyone who is interested in TM and wants to be involved in this fun project. Even if you don't want to write a full 'episode' any help with plot ideas or story arcs you'd like to see would seriously be considered and helpful. If you want any details PM me and I'll post you a link to the site. There's still a little time to become involved. There's currently a vote open on the gender and then the name of Jane and Lisbon's child so that's a fun thing everyone can be involved in. Closing date for that is early on the 19th Oct. Again, PM me and I'll send you that link.  
**

**Anyway, here's the next chapter!**

* * *

Chapter 29 - Propositions &amp; Poisoning

Jane stared at the ceiling in the hotel room that had been acquired for him as he lay on top of the bed, his jacket thrown over a chair as soon as he'd entered, a single light switched on beside him. He glanced at the clock on the nightstand. Almost one am. He shifted on the bed to try to find some comfort and closed his eyes. Bloody faces immediately illuminated the blackness and he opened his eyes again as he sighed wearily. Some things never changed. His thoughts turned to Lisbon and the conversation they had at the beach hotel. Had it helped, dredging up the past like he had? Were they making progress in re-establishing their friendship?

He smiled at the thought that word. Friendship.

Those kisses that morning had proved he couldn't settle for that and he'd been fooling himself if he ever thought otherwise. The first two kisses were based on comforting her. They were quick pecks, chaste but affectionate. He'd tried to stop at that. But then he'd seen her face close to his, her eyes closed, her lips slightly parted in expectation, moist from his mouth. Suddenly he couldn't stop himself wanting more, to taste her again after so long in the abyss. And he couldn't help himself wanting more still it seemed as his mind filled with thoughts of her. Even with Red John at their door again he couldn't concentrate on his nemesis as solely as he had done once. Before she'd shown him he was capable of loving another person again. And right now he needed to focus on him more than ever if he'd interpreted his 'message' correctly earlier. He'd changed the game so Jane had to be on his top one too if he had any hope of catching him. Maybe coming back into her life had been a colossal mistake after all. Maybe she was in more danger than ever. He took little comfort in believing that Red John would take delight in playing with her some more before he came for her. He suspected tonight was just the beginning of him getting into her head.

* * *

A soft rap on the door interrupted his musings and he frowned as he made a disgruntled noise as he hoisted himself off the bed. He checked the peephole and furrowed his brow as he saw Lisbon outside, shifting nervously from one foot to the other.

"Lisbon?" he said as he opened the door.

"Hey," she said with a shrug. "Saw your light on."

He squinted his eyes at her for a moment and then nodded for her to enter. "Come in." Closing the door behind her they stood at the foot of his bed.

She played with her hands and looked everywhere in the room but at him. "See you couldn't sleep either," she said finally.

He shoved his hands in his pockets and nodded as he let go of a breath. "Yeah, don't think there's much chance of that tonight somehow."

"Yeah...I-I went for a run," she gestured to the black leggings and T shirt she was wearing, "but I'm still keyed up. Saw your light when I was heading back to my room."

He studied her for a long moment before he nodded. He motioned to the kettle, "Would you like some tea?"

As he moved towards the cups she said quickly, "I keep thinking about Maya Plaskett."

"Oh?" he replied as he placed the cups side by side and checked the electric kettle for water before switching it on.

"Yeah, Red John having cameras in her bedroom."

He nodded as he put teabags into the cups. Facing her from the other side of the room he shook his head. "You shouldn't worry about that. There were no cameras in the room we stayed in. I'd have noticed if there were."

She raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure? Because it seemed to me we only had eyes for each other that weekend."

He smiled as he shoved his hands back in his pockets again as he looked to his toes, rolling on the balls of his feet for a few seconds. "Well I can't deny that."

He took a few steps closer and shook his head. "There were no cameras, Teresa. I'm sure of it," he said with conviction.

Her eyes questioned him before her words did. "Are you just saying that to make me feel better or because it's actually the truth?"

He shrugged as he smiled, "Does it matter if it makes you feel more at ease?"

"Suppose not," she admitted. "Thanks, I guess. I was worried about what he might have...well you know witnessed."

"That's not why you came here though," he said with seriousness once again as he continued to regard her.

She drew her head back, perplexed, "It's not?"

"No."

She waited for him to continue. When he didn't immediately she asked brusquely, "So, you going to tell me why I am here, then?"

He licked his lips and took a breath. "You sure you want me to do that?"

She crinkled her brow. "What?! What are you talking about, Jane?"

"Okay," he sighed. "First, you lied about going for a run. Your clothes are fresh on and your trainers don't bear any traces of the sand that's all around here from the beach. Perhaps you thought you might, dressed for it but you probably only made the parking lot before you turned back. You haven't even broken a sweat. Secondly, you could have called me on the phone to talk to me about your fear of cameras watching while we were in that room alone-"

As she was about to interrupt he added, "-And thirdly, if this is the point you were about to make, you don't pass my room to get to yours. Unless you actually did go for a run and ran up the back stairwell. But we've already established you didn't actually go for a run in the first place."

She seethed at him reading her before looking away briefly. Then she raised her chin to him defiantly. "You still haven't told me why I did come here, genius."

His eyes darkened as they scanned her features. With assurance, "To finish what we started in your office this morning."

Her eyes widened immediately and a chuckle escaped her. "Wh-at?!"

His tone remained the same, almost clinical in its cadence, "I'm not suggesting you consciously came here with that in mind, Lisbon. That you did it with that purpose beforehand. Instead you made up an excuse to yourself to see me again tonight. At the moment you're feeling...adrift. Like you're treading in deep water and have forgotten how to swim. You're searching for the ground beneath your feet-"

She laughed in his face. "Believe me, if I were looking for the ground beneath my feet I certainly wouldn't come to your door to find it."

"Yet you did. I know the feeling only too well I'm afraid. Why do you think I distanced myself from you after a Red John case before we got together? Or during it, come to that. To stop myself doing exactly what you're doing right now. I saw it as soon as I opened the door. And especially coming back to this place...the memories it's stirred up...along with what happened this morning-"

"In case you're forgetting I was the one who stopped what was happening this morning."

"And you were right to do that. Despite our talk back at the Palms there are still a hell of a lot issues between us before we should even consider something like that again. And I know you're not nearly ready to consider it. It's probably made things even more complicated between us because of what we've just experienced. It would be a mistake. I-I lost my head this morning when I kissed you."

He saw the glimmer of disappointment cross her features before he noticed her frown. "If you knew all that...if you thought that was why I was here when you opened the door then..." she bit her lip and took a step closer, "then why did you invite me in?"

The kettle sounded and switched off as they stared at each other. Then, "Jane?"

He blinked twice, pushing his hands deeper into his pockets to stop reaching out for her. "You should go, Lisbon." He shook his head. "Really, you need to go."

"Why?" she asked, her green eyes pinning him to the spot.

"You know why."

* * *

"_Jane, got some information on that Sac PD officer you asked me to get for you," Van Pelt said as she looked over her shoulder at Jane lying prone on his couch._

"_Hmm?" he replied, opening his eyes with a groan. He and Lisbon had returned from their idyllic weekend together two days prior. After engaging in more physical activity than he had in many years his less than nimble body was still feeling some painful after effects. _

"_Officer McKinney, you mean?" he added but made no attempt to move off the soft leather. _

_He'd interviewed McKinney just before they'd left for Florida as he'd been at the scene of the Norris poisoning and had suspected he was hiding something about it. The man in his mid forties with thinning ginger hair was certainly twitchy when questioned about his movements that day. He'd been one of the last people Jane had talked to as part of his investigation as he'd been back in his hometown in New York State looking after his elderly mother for the past two months and only recently had come back to California._

_Van Pelt continued, "Yeah. His mother's medical care. He checked her into a private hospital with round the clock nursing staff before he arrived back here."_

"_And from your tone I'm guessing he shouldn't have the money to pay for that."_

_Van Pelt nodded as she stared at bank records on her screen. "Yeah. No family money to talk of, lives frugally according to his credit card statement, rent on his apartment takes almost half his pay cheque."_

_Jane pulled himself into a sitting position with a moan as his thighs and back protested. Van Pelt swivelled in her chair. "You okay?" she frowned at him followed by a smirk._

"_Fine," he replied, clearing his throat, colouring a little. "So, where did Officer McKinney get the money? Have you been able to track where the nursing care funds originated?" _

"_Eventually. An offshore account held by McKinney. Day after Norris was murdered $50,000 was lodged into it."_

"_Hmm, interesting," Jane commented as he tapped his index finger to his lips. "So McKinney was paid off to hide evidence quite obviously. You know who paid him?"_

_Van Pelt shook her head. "Not yet, still working on it."_

"_Okay, well in the meantime I think I'll pay Officer McKinney another visit. See if I can get it out of him."_

_He entered Lisbon's office a few minutes later, her head predictably lowered as she completed paperwork at her desk. "Hey, looks like McKinney's our man."_

_"__Oh?" she replied, raising her head. "Van Pelt find something in his financials?"_

_"__Yes. Going to have another word with him, see how he responds to a little more poking. You want to come with? We could grab a bite on our way back." He added with a smile, "Might even have time for some lunch, too."_

_Her face flushed and she laughed softly. "I wish I had time for either one of those. Up to my eyes in budget reports. But take someone with you in case you poke him a little too hard."_

"_I feel like some in depth conversation on the drive so I'll take Cho."_

_She rolled her eyes at his joke. "All right, let me know how it goes."_

* * *

_He arrived back at the office a couple of hours later, depositing a sandwich onto her desk. "He admitted it," he started as he eased himself into the chair opposite her._

"_He did? Just like that?"_

_He smiled smugly at her, taking a bite of his own sandwich. "Well...it took a little poking but...nothing for you to worry about I assure you."_

_She regarded him sceptically as she unwrapped her lunch. "If it's all the same to you I'll ask Cho if I have anything to worry about when I see him later. Anyway, did he tell you who paid him off? Grace told me about the offshore account."_

"_He did. Man by the name of Irvine Miller." He took a swig from his water bottle._

_Instead of continuing when he'd finished drinking he took another bite of sandwich. She rolled her eyes at his showmanship. "And who is Irvine Miller?" she glared._

"_Ah...well that's where it gets very interesting," he smiled as he swallowed and leaned forward in his chair. "Seems I wasn't the primary target, merely an incidental one."_

_She heaved a sigh of relief that Red John hadn't somehow orchestrated this entire situation._

_He continued, "Irvine Miller is a thoroughly pissed off ex husband of a wife Norris represented and managed to screw out of two million dollars in alimony." _

"_So he killed the divorce lawyer of his ex wife? Okay, suppose I can see that. But why that way...and why the cover up afterwards?"_

"_Mr Miller in a previous life before he became a millionaire was a biochemist. He invented some drug for hair loss would you believe and made his fortune, retired young and married a beautiful woman who stood a foot taller than him, ten years younger than him and ten inches slimmer than him."_

_Lisbon smirked, "So not a match made in heaven, then?"_

"_Well I don't believe in that concept but...no, wouldn't think so, would you?" he smiled._

"_We looked into Norris' associates. And recent ex clients. I should have thought to look into-"_

"_Hey, you did the best you could at the time. You had a lot on your mind, don't beat yourself up. Besides she was his client three years ago. There was no reason to look into someone that long ago. I'm sure Miller would have thought the same, that too much time had passed for him to be a suspect. But he wanted to cover up any trace at the scene just in case. Seems he and McKinney went to high school together years ago, they met up at a bar by accident just before this happened, each telling the other about their woes and...well a plan was hatched. Miller pays McKinney $50,000 to help with his mother's nursing care-"_

"-_And McKinney gets rid of any trace evidence that might have been present on the tea box. But why did Miller decide to kill Norris three years after he was divorced?"_

"_Seems Miller has fallen on hard times. He had enough to pay off McKinney and still has enough in the bank to get by for the rest of his life but his ex cleaned him out. He became depressed and couldn't work, couldn't think. Then his dog died a few months ago-"_

"_You think that was the trigger?"_

_He shrugged. "You know what it's like to lose a pet you doted on-"_

"_Yeah, when I was a kid."_

"_Well imagine if that's all you had in the world as an adult. Add depression into the mix and-"_

"_I guess," she sighed. "Seen people kill for less. So...where's Miller?"_

_Exasperated, "Well that's a problem. He's not at his house. Cho's put a BOLO out on him and his car. Getting a warrant to search his property. I offered to have a look around but...well I should have taken Rigsby with me, Cho wouldn't allow it. Just checked with Van Pelt and she says there's been no activity on his accounts since Norris was murdered. Except for that transaction to McKinney."_

_Lisbon's blood began to run cold. It was obvious Red John had found Miller somehow and extracted the cure from him before killing him. But if that were the case then why hadn't the body surfaced yet?_

* * *

She took a step back again and nodded, afraid of where this topic was taking them. Of where it was taking her thoughts. Changing the subject, "I've been thinking about the timing of this."

He took a breath, relieved talk had turned back to the recent murders again. "Yes?"

"From outward appearances it looked like we were getting along better the last week or so. Would you say that's true?"

"Certainly. I thought we were too until you made it clear last night that you didn't share that view on the matter. You never explained why you believe that, by the way."

She waved off that topic with a flick of her hand. "That doesn't matter right now. But someone looking in from the outside might-"

"-Believe we were...rekindling things?"

He narrowed his eyes as he thought through that proposition. In public and in front of the team they had made an effort to appear united and friendly lately. And the night before in the bar he hadn't exactly been subtle about hiding his lustful feelings to anyone looking on. Finally he nodded. "Yes, I can see where it might be interpreted that way. What's your point?"

She licked her lips nervously. "Well...maybe this is his message telling us to put the brakes on. To back off from what he thinks might happen between us again."

He resumed his tea making with a puff of breath. "Well...it's an interesting theory."

"So you think it's wrong," she stated plainly.

He smiled at her as she pouted. "I didn't say that. But I doubt he'd be so subtle. But you may be on the right track. He certainly doesn't want to see us back together in any romantic sense whatsoever. He's been there, done that, so to speak. Perhaps his aim is a simple one. Separate us-"

"He did that before."

"Yes. And then I came back. There were no Red John murders while I was away, Lisbon. And none while we were...well I was...being openly hostile towards you when I got back."

She rubbed her hand across her forehead as a headache formed. "So...what's the solution? You go away again? Start laying into me in front of the team again?"

He shrugged. "Perhaps. If it stops him killing again-"

"Jane, he's a serial killer, he's not going to stop. You know that."

"Yeah, I know," he sighed, handing her a cup of tea.

"What if we did the opposite?"

He furrowed his brow. "How do you mean?"

"Well I don't know about you but I'm sick and tired of him making the rules of this 'game' where all we seem to do is follow them and wait for his next move. I say we don't anymore. I say let him bring it."

He shifted nervously on the balls of his feet. "Lisbon, while I certainly admire your pluck-"

"I'm not afraid of him, Jane. But what I am afraid of is turning into another person. Someone weak. Someone who is afraid like I was earlier when I saw those bodies. I'm not going to let whatever his intentions are fester in my head. I did that the whole time we were together. Kept thinking about what his next move was. Or if he was going to make one at all. God knows how you've coped with that all these years. I'm done worrying about what he wants. I say we turn the tables on him. Do something he doesn't expect or want us to do."

While he was fearful of what she wanted to do he was also intrigued. "What are you suggesting?"

She began to pace around the room. "When I talked to Wainwright earlier about...well about us being together he...well naturally he wasn't happy he was kept in the dark-"

"Understandable I suppose but it was really none of business."

"Well...while he wasn't happy he remarked that he didn't see any difference in our results."

"If anything closure rates probably increased as I...well...didn't want you to spend every night at the office."

She blushed slightly as she nodded, conceding his point.

Suddenly he realised where she was going with this. "Teresa, if you're suggesting what I think you are then...it's extremely dangerous. You want to bait him like that?"

She marched up to him. "Yes. I want us to get back together."

* * *

**A/N: Has Lisbon lost her mind? Does she just mean for show? How will RJ react if Jane agrees? All to come...**


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30 – Breaking Point

"Get back together?" Jane repeated back to her, a crinkle appearing between his eyes. "I'm assuming you mean for show."

Lisbon rolled her eyes at him. "Of course, what else?"

He muttered quietly, "Yes, for real would be ludicrous indeed." Louder, "But not by much, Lisbon."

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair as he contemplated her plan.

"I know it's dangerous, Jane. But anymore than waiting for him to make his next move?" she continued. "At least this way we would be in some kind of control. He'd have to adapt, maybe change what he's planning next. Or if not that then jump ahead a few moves."

He sipped his tea and sat back at the table. "I don't know, Lisbon. If by doing this it makes him shorten his timescales then it means he'll come after us...well more likely come after you first...a whole lot faster than he's currently intending."

"Exactly. If it saves another innocent person getting caught in the crossfire before that then I say we do it."

He studied her as she stood over him, fire in her eyes to match the one in her belly. Her bravery never ceased to amaze him and terrify him in equal measure. "Look, let's not make any hasty decisions about this-"

"Yeah, like you've never done that where he's concerned."

"That was when I only had myself to worry about," he argued as his voice rose. He took a calming breath. "Let's see what happens in the morning with this case. Sleep on it before we decide on this course of action."

"You know as well as I do that there won't be any loose ends here, Jane."

He stood up and sighed. "God, you're infuriating sometimes with your lack of patience. I'm just asking you to wait a night, Lisbon. Okay? Can you do that? Even if I said yes right away, what's your plan? Drag me out of here in the middle of the night and make out with me in the parking lot to get your point across?"

She blushed as her thoughts tuned to his last words. It was one thing suggesting they try to rattle Red John by doing this; it would be another matter entirely to follow it through for real. Her mind was already screwed up with how she felt about him since he'd returned never mind throwing a 'fake' relationship into her jumbled feelings. She would have to compartmentalise like she never had before to tread the potential minefield in front of her.

"Fine," she said, averting her eyes for a moment. She turned her attention back to him. Soberly and determinedly, "But if there are no leads after we investigate here then we are agreed?"

He smiled softly at her attempt to distance herself from sounding in any way emotional. To treat this agreement like some kind of business transaction. "Do I have a choice in the matter?" he smirked. "It appears you're going to ravish me in the bullpen as soon as we get back to Sacramento whether I agree or not."

"Very funny," she deadpanned.

"Well a man can live in hope," he smiled.

* * *

It had been relatively easy teasing her about pretending to be in a relationship before they'd investigated the murders in Florida. He'd distanced himself from what she wanted to do and hoped they'd find a clue that would mean they would need to reconsider her plan and change it to another one.

But flying back to Sacramento with no new leads to speak of and only time to dwell on and come to terms with the risk they were taking in provoking Red John he found himself downright agitated. But he knew better than to talk her out of it if it meant one less life lost by the killer's hand. In theory, it could be just the plan to make him act rashly and show his hand too soon, to display a chink in his armour. Currently Jane didn't have a better one so they were stuck with it. He'd also promised to share all his Red John findings with her once they were back in Sacramento, another task he was not exactly eagerly anticipating.

He watched her across the aisle as she stared out the window, her face set in a determined grimace. If she were a nail biter she would have been down to the cuticles by now if her stiff posture was anything to go by. He thought for a moment then began to smile. If they were on a suicide mission he might as well have a little fun with her before they met their ends. Not to mention he needed to make this plan of hers more tenable if they were going to have any chance of increasing its odds of success. A spare seat lay beside her and he shuffled into it as she stared out to the clouds to her left, attracting her attention as he did so.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" he asked as she turned her head.

"Yes," she said irritably. "So quit asking me every hour."

He sighed and leaned his head back on the headrest for a moment. "Okay. Then if that's the case you better improve your acting skills so we have any chance of pulling this off."

She pulled her head back. "Excuse me?" she glared.

He looked at her pointedly. "Precisely my point. If you're going to make believe that you are in love with me then you need to do better job than look at me like I'm something you've trodden in."

She reddened and said quietly but firmly, "We're not in Sacramento yet. I don't need to pretend anything just yet."

He rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Well no offence but you could use the practice."

"You've been the one treating me like a piece of dirt since you came back!"

Her raised voice caught the attention of a child in the seat in front of him. Jane signalled him to sit back down.

"Not lately," he smiled, a trace of seduction in his tone that made her blush again. Serious again, "One thing before I agree to this," he told her. "We tell no one this is a ruse. As far as everyone else is concerned we've been struck by cupid's arrow."

"But-"

"No buts Teresa. No one."

"We have to tell the team, they'd know something was up after the way we've been acting towards each other."

He stared at her as he considered her point. "Okay, but no one else. With your acting skills we might need the back up to sell it to be honest."

"I swear to god, if you critique my acting ability once more-"

"Well that's a lovely way to talk to your boyfriend," he stated as he got out of his seat. He pecked her quickly on the lips, shocking her into silence. "And please try not to look like a goldfish when I do that."

* * *

"So, you're back together?" Van Pelt smiled as they flooded into Lisbon's office after returning to Sacramento.

"No. Just a pretence," Lisbon stated. Jane stood behind her with his hands in his pockets, a slight smirk on his lips.

"To catch Red John," Rigsby confirmed.

"Yes."

"How will this catch him?" Cho asked.

Lisbon looked to Jane behind her and he shrugged. She glared at him and said to the others, "Well we're not sure exactly. We're hoping-"

Jane interjected, "We're hoping he makes contact with one of us, more likely Lisbon as they've well...communicated through the CBI before as we all know." He glanced at Van Pelt quickly who looked to her feet. He smiled at her, "It's okay, Van Pelt, I'm moving on," he added. "Forgive and forget and all that."

"Why not you?" Cho asked him.

"He's more likely to communicate through Lisbon to make sure this is on the level as he knows I'm more capable of deception than she is." He paused as Lisbon focused on the desk in front of her, the last word reminding her of her own. He added with a smile, "Well, normally. Only under exceptional circumstances does she become cunning like a fox."

* * *

"Thanks," she said after her team filed out. "For putting on that show in front of the team. To give them confidence that we haven't lost our minds. I know you're still a little upset by what I did-"

"Well I'm not entirely sure we haven't lost our minds but there's no point worrying them about it. And like I said, forgive and forget and all that-"

"And you're so good at that," she remarked with a smile.

"I'm trying now," he replied with a smile of his own. "You might want to give it a go yourself sometime."

She ignored his comment about forgiving him for leaving her and instead she got up from her desk and opened the filing cabinet to file some paperwork. "So, how long do you think it'll take word to spread about us? The team will start spreading rumours and I'll tell Wainwright when he gets back from his meeting at the Capitol-"

"Meh. Sounds like a long winded approach to me."

She took a folder out of the cabinet and began perusing it. "Hmm? You have something else in mind?" she said absentmindedly as she read a file.

"I think if we're going to do this then we're better cutting to the chase. Starting off with a bang as it were."

"Oh, like wha-"

Her words were cut off by Jane suddenly spinning her towards him and his lips finding hers in a searing kiss. She opened her eyes in shock and he smiled through it as her folder fell to the floor and its contents fell out. His arms circled her waist and he moaned. "Kiss me back," he urged her as he opened one eye and glanced into the bullpen, noticing their kiss was beginning to grab some attention.

"I'm going to murder you," she mouthed against his mouth only for Jane to plunge his tongue inside hers.

"Get in line," he grinned, unapologetic.

She smiled before kissing him back just as ferociously then pushed on his chest and disengaged her mouth. Her arms were around his neck as they both panted for air afterwards. "Did anyone notice?" she asked.

She was was not prone to public displays of affection and especially not in work but a thrill shot through her body when he kissed her for everyone to see. They'd spent so long living in the shadows when they were a couple this new openness (even if it was for show) felt dangerous and exciting.

Jane grinned. "Ron just dropped a file box on his foot."

She giggled, "Really?"

He laughed, "I better watch my back. He's always had a crush on you."

"Yeah, right," she replied, rolling her eyes. Then she realised they were still in a tight embrace and blushed. It had been so easy to fall back into his arms just then and share a joke. Even in the dire circumstances they were in he had brightened her mood and made her forget what they were actually trying to accomplish for a moment. This was going to prove more difficult than she imagined. It seemed an impossible situation. How was she supposed to keep her distance emotionally but physically get closer again to him?

She extricated herself from him and shot him a wary glance. "Jane-" she said seriously. "We can't allow ourselves to get carried away with-"

"I know," he finished for her, looking equally as worried. "It's supposed to be an act."

* * *

"_What are you doing?" Lisbon laughed as Jane donned an apron he'd brought with him and began to unload flour and eggs from brown paper grocery bags onto her kitchen counter. _

"We _are making fresh pasta, my dear," he stated proudly as he uncovered a silver pasta making machine with the flourish of a magician._

_She pulled off the price tag from the back of his apron. "Uh. No. _We_ are not," she stated with a smile. "_I_ am having a beer and watching the game. _You_ are free to make whatever you like, though." _

_She kissed him on the cheek as she opened the fridge and took out a bottle of beer, twisting off the bottle cap._

"_Oh, come on Lisbon, you'll have fun."_

_She raised a sceptical eyebrow. "More than relaxing and watching the game? Somehow I doubt it-"_

"_It won't take that long. A half hour, forty five minutes tops."_

_She opened the cupboard beside her and presented him with a bag of dried spaghetti. "Three minutes, tops. And a whole lot less mess and washing up."_

_He rolled his eyes. "It's a teachable moment, Lisbon," he smiled, taking the bag of pasta from her and depositing it in the trash. As she gaped at him throwing good food away he captured her lips in a kiss. "Come on, I'll make it fun for you," he said, kissing her again with a waggle of his eyebrows. "I promise."_

"_And there are the two words I have nightmares about," she laughed. As she was about to acquiesce her cell phone sounded and Jane sighed. "Looks like fresh pasta will have to wait for another night."_

"_And baseball," she said with an eye roll as she answered her cell._

_As Jane was removing his apron he saw her expression turn from amused to worried within seconds, her eyes darting to his face as she listened to the call. He felt his stomach flip flop and breathing quicken before she got off the call._

"_Red John?" he said, more of a statement than a question as she hung up._

_She nodded as she paled. "Yeah, body found in an abandoned factory on outskirts of Sacramento."_

"_Okay," he nodded. "We better go," he added quietly._

"_Are you-?" she began._

"_I'm fine," he said, although his voice was weak. He cleared his throat when he saw her furrow her brow further. He took a breath. "Well, I'm as okay as I ever am with one of these," he added with a soft smile. He kissed her gently. "We knew he'd be back sooner or later, Teresa."_

* * *

_As she approached the crime scene black and whites with flashing lights and black SUVs had already parked in the lot of the nondescript two storey concrete monstrosity. She saw Wainwright talk to one of the officers and Cho moved towards her as she got out of her car. For once Jane had got stuck at a traffic light behind her in his own vehicle so she arrived before him. "Hey Cho," she said with a frown. "What have we got?"_

"_Jane on his way?"_

_She nodded, "Yeah, shouldn't be long."_

"_You need to tell him the truth about Red John before he goes in there," he said as he nodded to the building behind him._

"_Wh-at?" she stammered although in her heart she was far from shocked. She knew whose body was most likely inside before she asked the next question. "It's Irvine Miller, isn't it?"_

"_Looks like it."_

_She glanced at the building in front of her as Cho nodded towards Jane's car's headlights in the other direction before he walked away from her again. _

_She took a deep breath as Jane exited his vehicle. His frown deepened as he walked towards her. "Everything okay?"_

"_Uh...no...it...well it appears it's Irvine Miller."_

_Jane's eyes widened momentarily. "Oh? Well that's interesting." He thought for a moment then smiled at her. "Let's take a looksie then, shall we?"_

_She touched his forearm, stopping him in his tracks. "Maybe I...maybe you don't need to see this one. I mean...he almost killed you, Jane."_

_He frowned at her again. "Well I'd say that gives me all the more reason to make sure he's dead, wouldn't you say?"_

"_You don't seem surprised. That Red John did this."_

_He shrugged and put his hands in his pockets, shivering as a few droplets of rain fell on him. "To be honest I'm not. Nothing he'd hate more than for someone else to kill me, Lisbon, even unintentionally. Obviously he found out about this Miller person somehow and murdered him. The only thing I am surprised about is why it's taken him so long. Perhaps he was tracking my investigation somehow. Do we know how long Miller's been dead?"_

"_Uh...no...haven't spoken to anyone yet about it." Perhaps there was a way to avoid telling him the truth after all, that this would close down the investigation he had been heading and they could move on with their lives. That Red John had done her another favour. Her guts contracted at how much of a coward she was being for once in her life. In actually hoping a serial killer would save her from revealing the truth._

"_Lisbon, are you all right?" Jane asked, concern evident as he lowered his face to look in her eyes. "I'm going to deal with this, okay? I'll do everything I can not to shut you out. You don't need to look so worried." He glanced around quickly before he squeezed her hand affectionately then strode purposefully towards the entrance to the factory. Lisbon stood on the spot for a few moments as the warmth from his hand dispersed as a heavy drizzle began to fall. She quickly sprinted off after him._

* * *

_Jane heard Partridge's voice before he entered the office the body had been found in and rolled his eyes at the ghoul's excitement as he spoke to the photographer. _

_"__Jane!" he exclaimed when he saw him at the door. "Well this is a strange one even for Red John."_

_Jane ignored him and surveyed the office. Dust ridden apart from the dead body strewn on the desk that was wrapped in clear plastic wrapping. He glanced up at the obligatory red face facing the door and frowned, the blood was dry and was more brown than red. "This has been here a while," he stated._

_"__Yeah, I'm guessing same time as this guy was killed," Partridge observed._

_Lisbon, who had just appeared at the doorway, approached the body that appeared a relatively recent kill and not one of some months as the bloody face suggested. Partridge saw her look of confusion and tapped the man's leg violently with a pen. Instead of soft tissue the pen bounced off his leg. "He was frozen," she stated quietly, only seeing the man's face set in a contorted expression now she was closer to him, the knife wounds on his torso and neck set in etched red lines. Partridge laughed, "Yep, still is, need to wait a few hours for him to thaw out before I get anything."_

_"__Then why are you here?" Jane bit back with sharply. "Go," he ordered him._

_Partridge stammered, "I'm-"_

_"__You've had your look; that should be enough of a thrill to keep you warm tonight. Now get out."_

_Partridge looked at Lisbon for support but she shrugged. "Give us a few minutes."_

_"__Jerk!'" he muttered under his breath as he looked sideways at Jane. Nevertheless he shuffled out of the room taking his photographer with him._

_"__Why would he freeze him?" Jane asked as came to stand beside her. "This doesn't make any sense."_

_"__Well if he'd left him here for a few months then maggots, blowflys-"_

_"__Yes," Jane cut in as he made a face. "I understand the implications of what happens when a body is left to decompose out in the open but why kill him and freeze him in the first place? Why decide to unveil him now? By the way, how was he found at all?" Jane glanced around the desolate office. "Doesn't look like this place has been used in years."_

_"__I just checked with Cho, anonymous caller."_

_"__Naturally. It's puzzling, though, isn't it?" he said quietly as he stared at the man in front of him. Just then his cell phone beeped, alerting him to a text message. Jane fished it out of his pocket and frowned. "Speaking of anonymous callers," he muttered as he brought the text up on screen. He showed it to Lisbon._

_She read the words out loud. "Check the glovebox in his car."_

_Jane tilted his head to the side, "It appears we're on a treasure hunt."_

_Jane put his phone away and began to walk away briskly. Lisbon's heart hammered in her chest but she was incapable of speech and followed him blindly after a few moments. She caught up with him at Irvine's car asking the officers there if keys had been found for it. From what she witnessed none had been located so far. She splashed in the small puddles that had been formed as she came to face him as he was taking out his lockpick set. _

_"__Jane, let someone else look in there. Wait until the keys are found," she uttered as she began to panic openly. "For all you know there could be a bomb in there. This could be a trap set by Red John!" She was trying everything she could to dissuade him from opening the door. She knew in her gut there wasn't a literal bomb inside but that something just as explosive lay there._

_He stopped what he was about to do and looked at her, a baffled expression on his face. "A bomb?! Not his style, Lisbon. You know that." He placed a comforting hand on her shoulder before he hunched down and worked the lock. "Going to catch cold with this rain," he mumbled before grinning as the lock mechanism made a clicking noise. "Et voila!" he exclaimed as he opened the car door. _

_"__Fingerprints!" she said after he sat sideways on the seat and was about to open the catch on the glove compartment. He rolled his eyes but took out his handkerchief as he pulled it open. A single white envelope lay inside. Lisbon licked her lips as she saw him frown at it in his hands. "What...What is it?" she stuttered._

_He didn't speak for a few moments as he stared at it, his frown deepening. Eventually after what felt like an eternity to her he gazed back up at her and turned it in his hands for her to see the front of it."It's for you." Her name and a red smiley face beside it appeared before her._

_She swallowed and blinked rapidly, catching raindrops as she did so and wiping them from her face. He stood back up to face her, now oblivious to the rain that had become more incessant. She reached out to take it but he held it back from her and shook his head. "Why would Red John send you a message?" His visage was troubled, a mixture of concern and distrust evident. _

_"__I-I don't know," she stammered. _

_He narrowed his eyes at her. "You're lying."_

_She shook her head. "Please just leave it, Jane." _

_Anger began to enter his features as his eyes darkened. "You know I can't do that." His voice was calm yet cold. _

_They stared at each other for a few moments as she licked her lips and he held her gaze. When she made no attempt to speak he began to open the envelope. As the seal was opened so was her fate she thought ruefully. He pulled out a single piece of paper and frowned again. Like he had done with the envelope he turned it around, its ink staining as rain fell on it. She closed her eyes briefly and a tear joined her already rain soaked face as she read the words. _

_Two lines were typed on it in capital letters. _

_TIME'S UP, TERESA._

_TIME TO SEE WHICH ONE OF US KNOWS PATRICK BETTER. _

_"__What does he mean?" Jane asked sharply. _

_"__Jane, I can explain. Let's get out of here, go back to my place-"_

_"__No. You'll tell me now. What the hell have you got yourself involved in?!" His voice grew louder. "What does he mean?!"_

_She took a deep breath and nodded. Quietly, "Your cure. Red John was the one who procured it."_

_"__What? What do you mean?" he bit back with._

_She licked her lips nervously. Even with the rain pelting down they were suddenly dry as a bone. She pushed her shoulders back, part of her relieved the whole damn charade was over with. "He must have found out that Miller was the one who poisoned Norris, caught him and got the antidote off him before killing him." She stumbled over her next words. "I never asked him to kill Miller, just-"_

_"__What?!" Jane exploded, earning looks from some others at the scene. He took her arm and pulled her away from the other cops into a dry corner under a porch at the main entrance to the factory. He swept his hands through his hair, pinning it back from his face as he paced for a second in silence. She did likewise with her own locks, shivering slightly from both cold and Jane's looks towards her._

_"__You asked him for his help?" he said finally "You went to him of all people?! That's how I was cured?!"_

_"__You were going to die, Jane! I-I was desperate."_

_He looked at her with disdain. "Clearly." He paused, narrowed his eyes at her. "You met him? You know who he is?"_

_"__No, of course not. It was all done online, Grace helped, and then I just went to a pick up spot-"_

_"__Grace knows about this too! Then I assume Rigsby and Cho are also aware," he said brusquely._

_"__Well...yes...but-"_

_"__I see. Nice to know you have such a solid and loyal team, Lisbon," he stated coldly. "To you that is."_

_"__Jane-"_

_"__I don't want to hear it. Whatever your excuse is I don't want to hear it."_

_"__Okay," she mumbled, "I'll let you cool down, we can talk in a day or so-"_

_"__What did he mean by him asking who knows me better? You or him."_

_She pulled her jacket around her for warmth. "Jane, that doesn't matter. He's just trying to mess with you. With us. With what we have," she said quietly._

_She went to take his hand and he flinched away immediately, daggers in his eyes again. His voice was as calm as she ever heard it. And as emotionless. "I'd say that ship has sailed. Hang on, are you saying he knows about us? All this time and he's known about us the entire time we've been together? The one thing I've been worried sick about?"_

_Sheepishly, "I've suspected so, yes."_

_Eyes wide, "Why?" he pressed. "How?"_

_When she didn't answer but he saw the shame in her eyes he took a ragged breath. He was barely aware he was talking as the words toppled out. "It was what he wanted. This whole...relationship between us...it was what he wanted." He shook his head as a tear dropped to his cheek. He whispered, "Is that what his price was for curing me? Teresa, tell me you're not one...tell me you don't work for him-"_

_"__Of course I don't! How could you even think that!" she yelled, willing him to see the truth in her eyes as she stood facing him._

_He narrowed his eyes for a moment and let go of a breath of utter relief. But any respite he displayed was soon replaced by barely concealed hostility again. "But it was what he wanted, wasn't it? You and I together? That was his plan. One of his reasons for curing me. And you knew that from the outset."_

_She swallowed and nodded slowly. "He said he thought it was time for you to move on."_

_He stared at her and then shook his head slowly, looking at her like he never knew her at all. "How could you lie to me about something like this?" he breathed, his voice cracking as tears fell on his cheeks. _

_Her own tears followed, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I didn't tell you right away. That's what he meant. He said if I told you he helped you that you'd disown me. But I said I knew you better. But then I-I panicked. And then we got together and everything got mixed up and...we can work through this, Jane. Please. Let's just-"_

_"__No," he interrupted callously as he took a long breath and sniffed, wiping the tears from his eyes. He shook his head at her, pure contempt in his expression. _

_"__Jane, I didn't get into this relationship because he wanted it. I did it...we did it because we fell in love," she argued. "I did it in _spite_ of him wanting it."_

_He laughed humourlessly. "You really think that makes your lying about it any better? Whatever your reasoning it's over now," he stated. "How can I be with someone I can't trust? Who lied to me about this of all things? Who colluded with-" _

_He shook his head again and began to walk towards his car as his temper began to shatter again. She ran after him. "Jane, wait! Please!"_

_He stopped at his car door and shot her a final glance. Despondently, "I can barely look at you, Lisbon. This isn't something you'll be able to fix."_

_"__You're letting him win by doing this," she said in a murmur as she realised he was running away._

_He shrugged, his face a picture of ambivalence. "Haven't you learnt by now? He always wins. Only this time you helped him do it," he remarked impersonally. He added, "It's game over this time though. I'm done with all of it. With you, this city and with him. He was right about one thing. It is time to move on. Alone." _

* * *

**A/N: Thank you once again for all the wonderful support for this story. The last segment was the final part of the 'past' portion of the story. Some of what happened to Jane and Lisbon will be referred to again while they were apart but it will form part of the 'present' storyline. I hope that makes sense! And I tried to inject some lightness into the present storyline in this chapter to counteract some of the pain in the past. Feel free to read the start again if it's left you too depressed! There is still action, case solving and romance to come...**


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31 – Confessional Part 1

"Well that was one of the most embarrassing moments of my life," Lisbon muttered to Jane as they left Wainwright's office, her cheeks ablaze. He'd insisted on speaking to both her and Jane about the 'change' in their relationship. Jane, of course, had slipped into relaxed character easily, unperturbed by Wainwright's verbal meanderings on romantic shenanigans getting in the way of detective work. He'd been more amused by the younger man's own sense of discomfiture in broaching the subject than he had in answering him. In fact if things between himself and Lisbon were not still on shaky ground he would have enjoyed in prolonging both his superiors' awkwardness with a few innuendo laden comments. The word 'propriety' had been bandied about more than once during the discussion. Only Lisbon's hard glare had stopped him from answering that he would never have solved a single crime if he had considered any kind of propriety in the workplace.

"Oh, come on, could have been worse," he replied with a wave of his hand as they made their way to the break room.

"Suppose," she agreed, "he could have insisted you switch teams. I'm still your supervisor, it's hardly appropriate behaviour."

"He knew better than to try that, I'm sure he heard what happened when Bertram tried to put Ray Haffner in charge of me," he grinned.

She smiled at the memory. Softly, "Even now you feel the same way? You'd have me as your supervisor instead of someone else?"

He stopped his tea preparation and gave her his full attention. "You understand me," he answered with a small shrug as if his response was obvious. She was inexplicably moved by that simple statement that could encompass a multitude of meanings and as the moment became increasingly charged between them he suddenly turned and took his cup from the drainer. A smile crept up on his lips. "Besides, I don't feel much like breaking someone new in," he joked to dissipate the thick tension.

"Ha ha," she replied with an eye roll after a second's recovery time.

"The fact you're technically my boss never worried you much before," he said in a more conversational manner.

"Well that was when hardly anyone knew." She had already noticed the looks and smirks they were now getting from colleagues and they'd only been 'together' an hour and naturally hated being the topic of tawdry office gossip.

"The die is cast now, Lisbon. No turning back. Don't fret. We'll be old news in a day or two. People are only interested today as the office pool on the subject is finally closed."

"Van Pelt's cleaning up just in time for her wedding," she commented as she fetched some coffee with a shake of her head.

"Nice little trousseau I'd say," Jane nodded.

"Sorry," she sighed as she drank from her cup. "This was my idea, shouldn't be whining about it."

He smirked over the rim of his cup. "Well isn't that what good boyfriends are far? Listening to their girlfriend's whining."

He placed the cup on the counter and took a breath, becoming serious again. "Do you want to come over to my place tonight?"

As she drew her head back in surprise at the intimate sounding invitation he added quietly, "I believe I have a promise to make good on."

A beat passed as she continued to frown. "Oh, right," she nodded in realisation as she expelled a breath, "the Red John and Janet Walker stuff."

"Time to fill you in. If you still want to be that is."

"Of course I do. On a scale of one to ten how mad will I be?"

He shrugged. "We'll see, won't we?"

* * *

"I brought Thai," she said as he opened his motel room door hours later. She glanced nervously from side to side as she stood on his doorstep, knowing they had to make some kind of sign that showed they were romantically involved in the likely event that Jane's place was being watched. He bridged the gap and kissed her softly on the lips in full view of the parking lot as he took the bag from her. "Great," he smiled, gesturing with his arm for her to enter, his eyes lingering outside as he closed the door behind her with a heavy sigh.

She looked around the beige motel room and asked, "How are you settling back in here?" as he grabbed some cutlery.

"Oh, it's fine. Has everything I need," he smiled. He gestured to a small table that sat opposite the bed, "Please, take a seat."

She removed her jacket and sat down, fiddling with her cross for a few seconds as Jane opened cartons in front of her, his eyes darting every now and then in her direction as he did so. "Well this smells good," he commented. "I'm starving. You?"

She shrugged noncommittally.

"Eat," he ordered her, "I'm not saying anything until you do."

She rolled her eyes at him but began to pick at a few items from the plastic containers. When she'd satisfied the appetite she didn't realise she had she drank from a bottle of water. "I've eaten. Now it's your turn to fess up."

He took a deep breath as he emptied the takeout containers into his trash. "Fair enough."

She crossed her arms across her chest as he came back to sit opposite her again. He began, "Well first of all I should say that I did give up. After...the night I left. I gave up on everything for a while."

"Even Red John?" she asked softly as she uncrossed her arms.

"Even him." He shook his head and puffed out a long breath. "I was...devastated. I didn't know what had been real and what hadn't. Lost I suppose. Couldn't think of you without thinking about him and couldn't think of him without thinking about you." He laughed quietly without humour. "Sophie's choice. Each option just as painful."

"Jane-"

He saw the guilt in her eyes immediately and shook his head, quieting her. "I'm not bringing this up to hurt or upset you, Lisbon. Just giving you some background, an idea of where my head was at. I'm more than aware I'm not blameless in all of this too."

Softly, "Okay," she nodded. "Go ahead."

He looked off to the window beside him, curtains covering it as he stared at the thin taupe fabric. His voice became distant, removed from the here and now. "So I thought of neither of you. Or tried to. Wasn't entirely successful. I can barely recall the first two weeks. Drove until I couldn't keep my eyes open or simply got drunk all day. End result was falling into a motel room much like this one every night and tossing and turning until the morning."

He was quiet for a few seconds as his eyes glazed over at the memories then quickly turned his head towards her again, cleared his throat. Louder, "I realised one morning as I sat over a plate of eggs and hungover as hell that the only thing worse than having a singular purpose is not having one at all."

"So you resumed your search for him."

He shrugged, his fingers playing with his wedding ring. "Somewhat consequentially but yes."

His words hung in the air for a moment before he spoke again.

"I hadn't ventured much further than California." He laughed softly. "I'm sure a hundred psychiatrists would have a field day why I drove in circles around Sacramento effectively but there you have it. Anyway, I was in San Francisco, had been for a week or so, I'd been gone almost four months by this stage, and was having my breakfast at a diner I went to where the eggs were palatable. Then I noticed this woman after a few days. She said nothing at first but came in every day and sat with a cup of coffee for half an hour before leaving. We started to nod to each other, you know like regulars do."

"Janet Walker," Lisbon commented. "So you didn't meet her when you visited her gallery like you said."

He shook his head. "No, I lied about that."

"Why?"

He shrugged. "Because I felt like it. It was a less complicated story to tell than the truth." He ignored Lisbon's eye roll and continued, "In the diner she looked...out of place there so caught my eye. There she was, a woman of expensive tastes in a cafe that sold two dollar breakfasts. Naturally I was intrigued by her."

Lisbon pushed down the rush of jealousy at his last comment. She had asked him for the truth and had to accept whatever form that took. "So you talked to her?"

"Eventually yes. That's when I realised she worked for Red John. I had half suspected as much just by observing her watch me but that was when I knew for certain."

Lisbon's eyes widened. "How?"

He shrugged, leaned back in his chair. "Body language. Mannerisms to start with. She smiled at me when I looked like something that should be taken out with the trash."

"Maybe she just wanted-"

"Sex with a bit of rough?" he smiled. He laughed softly. "Well I certainly fit that bill at the time but no, wasn't that. There was something in her eyes. Conniving. Smarter than that. So we talked, she told me about the gallery, we discussed art, all of that. But I immediately got the impression there was a hidden agenda, that he'd sent her to spy on me." He rose from his chair and began to make tea. "I was pissed at first. There he was interfering in my life again. I almost called her out as soon as we began talking, almost told her that I saw through her and to go back and tell him I was done."

"But you didn't."

"No. That's when I had my realisation. Before then I was drifting. Into oblivion. That first spark of anger at him after months of trying to feel nothing...it was like an electric shock kick-started my brain. I was angry again and I embraced it. Better feeling angry than feeling nothing I figured." He pointed to a cup and she nodded as he put the kettle on to boil. He shoved his hands in his pockets and turned to look at her, "So I held on to it. That anger. Towards him and...towards you." He looked to his shoes as he sighed. He spoke quietly, "It's always been an easier emotion for me to feel. Much easier than love or pain over the loss of love."

"I know what you mean," she replied quietly, a lump in her throat.

After a second where he looked sadly at her he cleared his throat and quickened his movements as he fetched teabags and milk. "Right, back to Janet," he said in a more controlled manner. "So I became friendly with her, kept the conversation light, flirted with her as she did with me. It was like a play and both of us could tell the other one was acting mostly but it worked for us."

"You liked her," Lisbon stated.

He thought for a long moment as he passed her a cup and sat down opposite her again. "She amused me. Liked?" He shook his head. "No."

"Well things must have changed if you slept with her." Lisbon stared him down, needing confirmation one way or another of exactly what type of relationship he had with Janet Walker.

Jane studied her, a crease appearing between his eyes. "Somehow you've figured out I never did."

Lisbon did everything in her power to keep her expression neutral, to ignore the pain in her gut that he'd implied he had when he'd returned and ignore the rush of euphoria that he never did. "Why lie to me about that?" She held a hand up as he opened his mouth. "And don't say you didn't actually lie, you inferred it and you made sure I thought you did."

He shrugged and looked to his shoes. "To hurt you. To make sure you kept your distance and I kept mine."

She nodded, releasing a breath. "Okay, go on."

He cleared his throat. "I began to follow her after I suspected-"

"You stalked her?!" she interjected.

"I prefer to think of it as tailing her."

"To lead you to Red John."

"So I hoped," he nodded and got off the chair again, lifting up the edge of the carpet at the far wall. "What are you doing?" she asked.

He ignored her and pulled the beige material away from the floorboards and pulled up a loose one, extracting a brown folder. He stood with it in his hands for a moment before he passed it to her, regarding her warily for a moment before he returned the room to its original state. "Full disclosure is what was agreed, right?"

Lisbon opened the folder and found lists inside, some handwritten, some typed, diagrams with arrows pointing to names and dates and places. She quickly flicked through the contents. "What is all this?"

"My surveillance. I noted everyone she talked to on a regular basis, both those who visited the gallery and those she mentioned to me as acquaintances."

"I'm guessing you think one of these people is Red John."

"Yes. Although whether he told her his actual name or not I doubt it so not sure how much of it is going to help."

"Hmm. He does like aliases," she muttered as she leafed through the pages. She put the folder on the table. "Tell me about Costas. Did Janet kill him?"

"Yes."

She rolled her eyes, "Jane, I need more than that."

He sighed and took a large sip of tea. "It really has nothing to do with Red John."

"I still want to know."

He rolled his eyes. "Fine. Like the story went, he wanted to take the gallery off her so she killed him so she could keep it."

"Her alibi?"

"Faked. She hired a lookalike from some modelling agency to pose as her."

"There must be receipts, booking references-"

"She paid cash. She was clever."

Lisbon bit her lip and took a breath.

"I didn't know about it until afterwards," he said before she posed the question on her lips.

"You figured out what she'd done."

"Yes."

"And threatened to go to the police."

"I did."

Lisbon paused, "That's when you confronted her about Red John. You said you wouldn't if she told you who he was."

He smiled and eased himself back in the chair as he nodded. "It had been going on for months and I realised I was getting pulled into another game of cat and mouse again. He must have realised I'd figured out she knew him but she never came with a message from him or gave me any indication she was going to. I finally had some leverage so I used it. Or tried to."

"He got to her before she could tell you."

"Yes."

Lisbon frowned and then her eyes went wide. "You arrived and interrupted him. It didn't look like a Red John crime scene because he hadn't finished. Jane, was she still alive when you got there? She was, wasn't she?"

He sighed, paused for a second then nodded. "Only just."

"Did she tell you anything?"

"I'm not sure. It may have been nothing."

"Tell me."

"She could hardly breathe never mind talk but she pointed to her left shoulder."

"What does that mean? He has a birthmark there, something like that?"

"A mark of some kind. I think so, yes."

* * *

**A/N: Sorry for the mostly plot ridden and short chapter but have to start getting into the background of Janet Walker's death sometime. There's more to come next chapter as Jane finishes disclosing what he knows and has been up to secretly thus far. **


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N: Apologies for the delay in updating but the good news is that I should be back to more regular updates from now on, for this story at least. This isn't a long chapter and mostly dialogue based (but fact packed) but following chapters have been planned out so won't be too long before I update again, just didn't want to wait another day without posting something. And I'd like to thank everyone who is reading this and especially those who take the time to review, they really do make my day. And have made this my most reviewed story ever, I'm absolutely gobsmacked and incredibly flattered. And believe me, there is plenty more to come, both good and bad!**

**This chapter is dedicated to French Pumpkin, happy belated birthday, my dear!**

* * *

Chapter 32 – Confessional Part 2

"Well...that's fantastic, isn't it? A definitive way of identifying him. Assuming it was Red John who killed her. You're sure it was him, not one of his operatives?"

"Yes, I'm sure. I considered that, of course, but I'm sure it was him, Lisbon. The look in her eyes as she took her last breath, I saw it...the regret she didn't tell me sooner, the terror in them. It was him."

"You know it might not have been a birthmark, could have been a bullet wound-"

"Or a tattoo. I know."

"So that's what you've been doing, visiting her clients and checking their arms."

"Where I could. In addition to reading them, of course. But most of those I interviewed wore shirts, T shirts, etcetera so it hasn't exactly been easy in the majority of cases."

"You don't want to advertise you're checking them for that in case it tips him off that you know about it," she confirmed.

"Precisely."

"Also, just because they might have a mark it doesn't necessarily mean it's him, Jane. Lots of people might have some kind of mark on their arms for any number of reasons."

He nodded, his eyes flitting to her arm automatically where a small bullet wound scar still remained due to O'Laughlin's near miss. "I know that too," he said softly.

"How far have you got?"

"I've been able to discount some. Others based on their physique. Some appeared too weak or had health issues when I met them in person to be him. Also, I was able to eliminate some of those who weren't in San Francisco that night by checking their alibis. But there are still too many to call them in for any kind of line up, though, if that's what you're thinking."

She sighed heavily as she sat back in the chair again, a crease appearing between her eyes as she thought of their next move.

"What about Mashburn?" Jane asked, interrupting her thoughts.

The crease deepened. "Walter?"

"Hmm. Does he have a mark of some kind on his left shoulder? I'm guessing he's not the type of man to have sex and keep his shirt on."

She flushed immediately. Stuttering, "Wh-at? You suspect Walter could be Red John? You...You can't be serious, Jane."

"Why not? He has money, the need for adventure in his life, the need to outwit those around him, arrogant, narcissistic. Has a certain...charm, some might say, that could attract followers. He knew Janet. He arrived back in your life just when I did. I've thought about it recently and he makes quite an excellent candidate."

She gaped at him for a few moments. "Jane, I'd know if he was Red John. He isn't. And we already eliminated him; he had an alibi for her murder."

"He could have faked it."

"Now you're just being ridiculous."

He held her gaze solemnly until she added, "Fine. No, he doesn't have any type of mark on his arms or on the rest of him, come to that. No tattoos, nothing at all. Happy now?"

He nodded slowly. "Okay. I just wanted confirmation. I'd suspected it was unlikely when he showed up at the CBI the morning after those murders in Florida. Even with a private jet it would have been difficult for him to make the timings according to the time of deaths. Anyhow, that's another one off the list. Quite a significant one."

She got up from the table and threw her tea down the sink, turning on the coffee pot instead as she shook her head. "I can't believe you thought it could be Walter," she muttered.

His back to her, "I didn't want it to be him, Lisbon. Of course I didn't. But the way he was pursuing you-"

"So because he wanted to date me he had to be Red John! Gee, thanks for the confidence boost."

He moved from his seat to face her. "That came out wrong. I didn't mean to imply that, you know that."

"Forget about it," she uttered with a look that would turn milk sour.

He smiled and approached her. "Have you spoken to him since we got back from Florida by the way?"

Frowning as she tapped a sugar packet, "We just got back today, of course not."

He smirked and placed his hands in his pockets, "Well...you'll need to tell him you're off the market when you do, that's all. Now that we're a couple once again."

She rolled her eyes. "Jealousy really isn't an attractive look on you, you know. And had more to do with your sudden suspicion of him than any other legitimate reasons. And I'd hazard a guess you probably only considered him likely when you heard he took me to the ballet."

"You might be right about that. But I'm afraid I can't seem to help it where you're concerned," he came back with quickly.

She reddened, surprised at his swift and honest reaction. She washed her cup out to avoid his eyes. "So, is that everything or is there more? Why were you checking the Red John files? And what has Henry Jacobs got to do with all this?"

"I was checking the Red John files just in case I'd missed something in interviews carried out before I came to work at the CBI. Checking backgrounds on people your team and Sac PD interviewed. Ascertain if any of them had incurred some kind of injury that might have left a mark. Thought they might have used fake identities if Red John had been one of them so wanted to check the faces against those I'd met from the client list. Came up blank as I thought I would. Like you said, I know those files inside out but I'd started second guessing myself."

"And my team's work before you began working with us by the sound of it," Lisbon remarked. "So, Henry Jacobs? What you said, about him being Red John, was that true?"

"I think it's an alias he uses so yes, I think it's him. I think he used it with Janet. That that was the name she knew him by."

"So...even if she had told you who he was..."

"She wouldn't have been able to tell me his real name, no. I know that now and considered it at the time. But I'd have had the correct information on him, at least. I was planning on pumping her about his physical appearance if she told me his name. Then I'd have known what he looked like, would have gotten me a hell of a lot closer to finding him. May even have been able to persuade Janet to engineer some kind of chance meeting between us."

Lisbon nodded as she dried her hands on her jeans, "The information we have on Jacobs, the DMV record-"

"Faked. Van Pelt checked the photo and found it matched a dead man when she delved a little deeper. Red John just took his name and the address on file."

"And Janet's client list is just that, a list of names. No photographic evidence of what any of them looked like."

"Well it's not like they're working for a company where you'd need that."

"How can you be so sure it's him?"

He hesitated for a few moments before he sighed and retrieved a piece of paper from the inside pocket of his jacket that lay on the bed. He glanced at it briefly, his expression tense, before handing it over to her.

She frowned as she began reading it, her brow deepening after a few moments as she continued. Finally, "This is a letter from Visualize, thanking Henry Jacobs for his donation." Her eyes darted to his face, consternation still filling hers. "What does it mean and where did you get it?"

"I lifted it from Henry Jacobs' house-"

"Van Pelt said you found nothing there."

"She didn't know I took it. But it's not just a letter from Visualize, Lisbon. It's a letter from Stiles. He wrote it and signed it personally. And check the date."

Lisbon looked at the letter in her hands again. "It's dated the day after Red John gave me the cure." She paused, her eyes searching his face for confirmation of her thoughts. "Stiles isn't thanking him for a donation, is he? He's thanking him for saving your life."

Jane nodded, "That's one theory, yes."

Lisbon's eyebrows hit her forehead. She stammered, "But...why? I mean I know you and Stiles have some kind of...I don't know...grudging respect for each other in some kind of weird way but why would he..." Her words trailed off as another realisation hit her squarely. "He knows who Red John is," she said, the words spilling out of her mouth frantically. "We've always suspected he knows him but this is proof he does. He gave you the location of Krystina Frye after all so we knew there was a connection between them but...Jane, what does this all mean? Have you talked to Stiles? And why would he address him as Jacobs? He surely must know his real name, not this new alias. And why would Red John, if he is this man called Jacobs, leave evidence hanging around an abandoned property that would lead us to Stiles if the two of them are close?"

Jane shook his head. "I haven't been able to get in touch with Stiles since I found the letter. He's out of the country, apparently. Left messages for him almost every day and have visited Visualize. Nada on that front so far. They've closed ranks for the moment."

Lisbon postulated another theory. "Have you considered that this could be a misdirect from Stiles? Leaving evidence in that house to point you in a different direction to Red John's identity when in fact he's actually Red John?"

Jane smiled at her, impressed by her quick take on the facts displayed and her intelligent thinking. "It's crossed my mind and entirely possible. Certainly have not ruled it out, far from it. That this Henry Jacobs is actually Brett Stiles himself. That he's Red John. Another very good candidate. Charismatic certainly, abundance of money and friends in high places including Law Enforcement."

"And he certainly knows how to rattle you." Lisbon looked at the letter again. "He could have faked the date, written it and left it in that property after Janet was murdered and you came back to the CBI, knowing that eventually we'd latch on to this Henry Jacobs character and investigate. All he'd have to do is slip in, leave the letter and go out the back door. Or get one of his lackeys to do it. I still don't get why, though. Why point us in Visualize's direction at all if he did do that?"

"I don't know. If he is Red John. And that is still a very big _if_ then perhaps just to taunt us, to see if we pick up on it and come looking just so he can toy with us. There's nothing in that letter that indicates anything more than Stiles thanking someone for a donation. No proof of any real link to Red John."

"Since when do you care about proof?"

"I don't but I need to be able to have the courage of my convictions that I've found Red John, Lisbon. I'm not willing to go through another Timothy Carter fiasco. I need to know for certain. And, at the moment, I don't. I don't know if he's Stiles. It could just as easily be Red John trying to set Stiles up for some reason. Of course, why he would do that...I don't know either. Perhaps some internal feud between them."

"So basically we need to wait until Stiles gets in touch. That's what you're saying, right?"

Jane nodded, "I don't see any other way forward at the moment."

"So for now we're at an impasse."

Jane pointed between the two of them. "Well perhaps us becoming a couple will break it."


	33. Chapter 33

_"So basically we need to wait until Stiles gets in touch. That's what you're saying, right?"_

_Jane nodded, "I don't see any other way forward at the moment."_

_"So for now we're at an impasse."_

_Jane pointed between the two of them. "Well perhaps us becoming a couple will break it."_

* * *

Chapter 33 – Back on Track

"Yeah, maybe," Lisbon replied with a sigh.

"Well, you haven't punched me so I'm guessing what I've told you hasn't made you too mad," Jane smirked as he sat on the side of the bed.

"It's not like I'm not used to you keeping stuff from me, is it. And, to be honest, I probably was expecting worse. At least there is some kind of lead we can follow, confusing as it is." She paused, "Thank you...for telling me everything."

Another pause followed. Gingerly, "That was everything, wasn't it?"

He grinned, "Yes, Teresa. There's nothing more to tell. Consider me stripped bare before you." As she blushed at his choice of words he chuckled, "Not literally, of course. But I wouldn't object to that either if it'd make you feel more comfortable."

"It wouldn't," she glared before averting her eyes, a vision of a naked Patrick Jane filling her head and skyrocketing her pulse.

Amusement disappeared from his voice after another brief smile. "Actually it feels good, being able to talk about this stuff, to have someone to talk through the possibilities. Well, to talk to you about this stuff if I'm being completely honest."

"I'm glad you finally felt able to."

"Me too. Sorry it took me so long."

She cleared her throat. "I told Walter to stop calling me if he wanted more than my friendship. Last time he came to CBI and he gave Rigsby and Van Pelt that ridiculously over the top wedding gift."

"You did?" He couldn't stop a smile forming.

She glared, "Yeah...so...you can cut out all that jealousy crap from now on. Not that it's any of your business who I do actually date."

"It's not?" he smirked. "I don't know how I feel about us being in an open relationship, Lisbon."

She rolled her eyes and set her coffee cup down on the table then grabbed her jacket off the back of a chair. "Guess I better go. There's really nothing else to talk about for now. How long do you think before Red John, whoever the hell he is, finds out about us being a couple?"

Jane flung his legs onto the bed and settled himself into a sitting position against the headboard. "Probably not too long. Word's out at CBI, I'd guess a day or two at most before word filters back to him."

"And then?"

He shrugged, "And then we'll see what happens. Hopefully the news will disconcert him sufficiently enough that he does something hasty and contacts one of us."

"Something hasty? So if Stiles suddenly gets in contact with you that would definitely be a red flag."

"Indeed. As would you receiving any kind of message." As she went to put her leather jacket on he added, "You shouldn't go just yet."

She eyed him warily and then unconsciously the space beside him on the bed, "Why not?"

A smile crept up on his lips as he noticed her eyes' path before she made a correction back to his face. "Because this is meant to be a date, Lisbon. You've barely been here an hour. And we had takeout. We're supposed to be in the first throes of love, aren't we? An hour where we spend it eating and then have a quickie is hardly believable."

She smirked and raised an eyebrow, "From what I recall you used to like takeout and then a quickie?"

Unabashed, "Only in the CBI attic occasionally or if we were pressed for time. At your place it was inevitably followed by a much lengthier encounter."

"So what do you suggest we do?"

He chanced a seductive waggling of his eyebrows before he chuckled. Then he picked up the television remote control from the nightstand beside him and switched the television on. "There's a baseball game on tonight, I believe. We could watch that, get our minds off Red John for an hour or so. I, for one, could do with the distraction after the last couple of days."

"Since when do you like watching baseball?" she frowned.

He patted the space beside him and shifted into a more comfortable position on the other side. She bit her bottom lip as she looked at the empty side. "I won't bite, Teresa," he said, shaking his head, his eyes glued to the screen in front of him as he channel surfed. "I'll be a complete gentleman, I promise."

"Keep to your side," she glowered before she kicked off her boots and sat on the top of the bedclothes beside him, crossing her arms across her chest and pursing her lips into a fine line.

He glanced sideways at her, the tension in her body palpable. He stopped flicking channels when he came to the baseball game, hoping that watching it would relax her a little at least. At the moment she was wound tighter than a spring and had been since he'd returned, only increased since Florida.

While being truthful with her had allowed some questions to be answered it had also opened up a cornucopia of others. He could practically hear the cogs turn in her brain as they ran around her head. "It helps me sleep sometimes," he said as he sat the controller on the table beside him.

"Huh?" she replied, her brow creasing as her thoughts were interrupted.

"Watching baseball. Helps me sleep."

"Oh," she commented with a nod. Then she frowned, "Since when?"

Pleased her mind was off Red John temporarily he replied, "A while after I left. When I was exhausted I'd tune into the odd game and I'd be asleep in no time." A beat passed as he took a breath. "Imagined I was on your couch and you were beside me watching it. It proved quite effective for my insomnia."

Silence enveloped the room before he heard an intake of breath to his right. Their eyes still fixed on the screen she replied softly, "When you left I sometimes came downstairs and turned on the Discovery Channel during the night."

He laughed softly and a moment later their eyes met as they turned their heads to face each other. "We're quite a pathetic pair when we're apart, aren't we?" he smiled, a melancholic edge to his voice.

A hollow laugh escaped her and she nodded, "Then perhaps we should make sure we're not apart again," she proposed quietly.

"I like the sound of that," he agreed with a bigger smile.

"Good," she nodded, her arms relaxing so her hands lay joined on her stomach as she took a deep breath and focused on the television again.

For a while they watched the game in silence. Then Lisbon began to take more interest in it as Jane bit back chuckles as she began to snort and mutter insults at the players. "Sorry I don't have any beer in for you," he commented only to be shushed by her at a crucial point. He watched barely any of it himself, so enthralled was he by observing her out of the corner of his eye as she became increasingly engrossed. He didn't know what was around the corner for the pair of them but he was pleased they were getting some respite after the emotionally gruelling past few days and weeks. And year come to that.

After the game she got off the bed, in a better mood as her team had triumphed, and put on her boots and jacket. "So, you satisfied now that your sexual prowess is in no doubt?" she smirked.

"Well not as satisfied as I might be if it had actually been proven but I guess I'll have to make do," he smiled. He paused then added, "For now, anyhow."

"Jane..." she warned but the smile that appeared on her lips contradicted the tone of her voice. He grinned in return as he came to stand beside her.

"You'll text me when you get home, let me know you got there safely?" he said, more serious again.

She drew her head back as she zipped up her jacket. "You're taking this fake _dating_ thing a little too far, aren't you?"

"We don't know what his plan might be, Teresa. Not for sure." He licked his lips nervously. "I-I'd be happier knowing you're safe and with a gun under your pillow."

"I'll text you," she responded without humour when she saw the worry in his eyes. "And you make sure to lock the door behind me."

"Don't forget to check for bugs too, just in case." They'd decided to sweep their homes each night on their return from work on the chance that Red John may bug them to discover if their new romance was genuine or faked. Lisbon's office and Jane's attic were also to be checked every morning.

"Uh..." he began as he put his hands on the lock of the door. "We need to...uh...you know...kiss again when you go outside."

"Okay," she replied with a nervous smile, her voice higher than she intended. "Right."

As he drew the door open he planted a smile on his face and took her waist gently in his hands. Her eyes were immediately drawn to his mouth as it descended towards hers. Her eyelids fluttered shut, heat rising in her as she felt the warmth of his lips capture hers. Too briefly they were gone again and she almost stumbled forward, surprised at the loss of contact after only a second or two. She blinked rapidly as she opened her eyes and frowned. She'd have thought after his innuendos and the past couple of hours where they'd made definite progress in mending fences he'd have tried to take advantage like he had at the office earlier. Instead the kiss was chaste and passionless. He kissed her quickly again. "Goodnight, Teresa."

"Night," she replied, her mind in a fog momentarily before she nodded as she cleared her head.

He watched as she reached and entered her car, tucking a strand of chestnut hair behind her ear as she did so, and waved at her as she reversed out of a parking space.

* * *

When she arrived home she took the electronic detector from her bag and made an inspection of the entire place. Finding no bugs she went into the bathroom attached to her bedroom and disrobed, throwing her clothes into the wash basket there. She reached into the top drawer in her bedroom and took out her favourite football jersey before throwing it on. As she washed off her makeup and brushed her teeth her mind settled back on the kiss he'd given her at the door. Now she had more time to think about it she theorised he had been right to keep it impersonal. Things were difficult enough in this so called charade they were supposed to be putting on without sending each other mixed messages with the type of kisses they used to share. But now he'd been honest with her it was harder to keep her latent feelings for him at bay and she could feel herself falling under his spell again. She was almost as terrified of that prospect as she was of Red John. Both had the ability to destroy her she knew only too well. She sighed as she got under the covers and picked up her phone from the nightstand.

She texted him quickly.

_Home safe. C u 2moro._

A second later he replied. _What, no kiss at the end? What kind of gf r u?_

She smiled and typed an 'x' before hitting send again. He was taking this 'fake' relationship a little too seriously but she couldn't help play along. She waited a few seconds and laughed softly. As she went to put her phone down it vibrated again.

_You in bed?_

_Yes._

She laughed out loud at his next message. _What are you wearing?_

Her fingers poised over the keys of her Blackberry for a second and then she smirked. _Just a smile._

He came back quickly with a response. _A smile? Then I must have texted the wrong person. I thought this was Teresa Lisbon's phone._

_Ha ha, Jane._

_Sweet dreams, Lisbon. x_

Her breath caught in her throat suddenly at that little letter at the end of a silly text message conversation. She was inordinately pleased to have him back in her life all of a sudden, a rush of renewed hope filling her heart tinged with just a soupcon of fear. She was all at once certain they could face whatever Red John threw at them now they were united in their fight against him.

She had no idea how much that supposition was about to be tested.


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34 - Decisions

"Salmon or beef?"

Jane stopped the turquoise rim of his teacup from reaching his mouth as he frowned. Turning at Van Pelt's words he took a sip of tea as he eyed her quizzically.

"Your dinner choice at the wedding," she confirmed as they stood in the CBI break room opposite each other. She arched a self satisfied eyebrow. "Since you and the boss are dating now I'm assuming you'll be accompanying her to it. So, salmon or beef?"

A smile crept up on his lips at his colleague's victory in ensuring his attendance at her wedding. "Beef please, Grace," he replied politely. He noted her smile widen as she scribbled his choice on the notepad in her hands.

"How are preparations going? Not long to go now," he enquired.

"Good. We're pretty much there. Or at least I hope we are," she grinned. Her face illuminated with unbridled happiness. "We're still deciding on the honeymoon. Wayne wants to go to Paris but I heard Florence was beautiful. Or maybe Venice. We have a week to go so we'll need to decide soon."

"All good choices."

"Anyway, it doesn't really matter, does it? As long as I'm with Wayne it'll be great."

"He's a lucky man," Jane replied softly, touched by the look of love in her eyes for her fiancé. "Look, I know...I know I didn't exactly roll out the red carpet when I heard the news but...but I am very happy for you both. You deserve this, both of you. I'm glad you found each other again."

"Thanks to you," she replied gently. "I'm not sure we would have if you hadn't given us a little push."

Assuredly, "You would have. Might just have taken you a little longer."

She licked her lips nervously as she went to speak again and checked they were alone. Quietly, "You're a lucky man, too. You know that, don't you? You can't tell me that this whole charade with you and the boss is just a charade. You've been given your own second chance. Don't screw it up this time. And don't let her screw it up either."

As Lisbon entered the break room Van Pelt gave Jane a pointed look before she muttered a greeting to Lisbon and left the two of them alone.

"That looked intense," Lisbon observed as she fetched herself a mug of coffee. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, fine," he replied, mulling over Van Pelt's words. He watched Lisbon as she stirred the sugar in her coffee before licking the wooden stirrer clean.

"So, you off to the bachelor party tonight?" she smiled, turning to him.

"Hmm?" he frowned.

"Rigsby's bachelor party. It's tonight. I thought Grace was reading you the riot act about making sure he isn't stripped naked and chained to a telegraph pole somewhere."

"Well, one, I'm not going. I'd rather eat my own hand than watch Rigsby and the rest of his cop buddies perform juvenile pranks while getting drunk all night."

She smirked, "Yeah, like juvenile pranks are so beneath you."

He ignored her sarcastic comment and continued, "And two, why would I ever want to see Rigsby naked?" he smiled.

"Yeah, good point." She made a face as the vision came to her mind.

His expression turned from amusement to concern after a moment's reflection. "Your office?" he asked urgently.

She frowned before she nodded in reply to his intimated question, "Yeah, already made a sweep. Why?"

"Let's talk in there."

* * *

Ensconced in her office he came straight to the point. "The wedding – how big an affair is it?"

"Uh...quite big I think. Grace's parents are paying for a lot of it. They're pretty well off and she's...well she's their only girl. They want to push the boat out for her."

Jane nodded. Both knew Grace had a sister who killed herself when she was younger although the redhead never spoke of it and imagined her parents would want to make a fuss of their only living daughter on her special day.

"Why?" she asked.

"I take it there'll be lots of cops and CBI agents in attendance."

"I guess...she's popular and so is Rigsby around here. Why, Jane?"

"Red John, of course. He no doubt knows about it. And for all we know he could have some of his people going along as guests. We know it's entirely likely he has followers within the CBI."

A look of horror crossed her face. "Oh god! You think...you think he might make some kind of...statement at the wedding?"

"It's entirely possible, wouldn't you say? He had Bosco and his team killed in this very building, didn't he? He has a flair for the dramatic. And now that his plans for making us fall apart aren't working out for him-"

"So what do we do? We can't ask them to cancel or postpone, Jane. Not when we don't have an actual threat in place."

Glancing through her office blinds he saw Rigsby and Van Pelt flirt with each other as he stood at her desk and handed her a cup of coffee, obvious to a blind man he was hopelessly in love. "You're right, we can't."

"But we can't put them in any danger either," Lisbon sighed. "I can ask Wainwright for some added security for it. I'm sure I can talk him into that-"

"Lisbon, we don't know if he's Red John's man. And even if he isn't then who's to say additional cops or agents won't be."

She huffed in exasperation. "Then what do you suggest?"

"Leave it to me. I'll think of something." When he saw her about to open her mouth he added, "And yes, I'll tell you what it is when I do."

"You better. Should we tell them?" She nodded outside her office as Rigsby walked back to his desk, a grin across his face.

He shook his head. "What for? It's their wedding day and I might be wrong. No point in worrying them and spoiling it before we have to."

"I agree."

"And talking of Red John I'd rather keep the news about Stiles just between us for now too."

"Fine. There's not much to tell them until we know more anyway."

"Good." He smiled in her direction. "How'd you sleep last night?"

She reddened slightly and moved a few files around her desk. "Fine. You?" she replied, picking up a pen with her head down.

Instead of answering her question he asked, "Would you like to go out to dinner this evening?"

"With you?"

He rolled his eyes. "That would be the general idea since I asked you."

She nodded quickly. "Okay. I guess...I guess that would be okay. It would sell this relationship better I suppose if we went on an actual date. Where do you want to go?"

"I'll book us somewhere nice. Wear a dress."

* * *

He sat in his Citroen for a few seconds after pulling up at her condo and took a deep breath as he looked in the rear view mirror. Apart from working out a solution to Red John's possible presence and disruption of the impending wedding a lack of a case had left him ample time to dwell on Van Pelt's words to him that morning. He had quickly come to the conclusion she was right, of course. But what to do about it at this precise moment was another matter. Then he'd thought of Lisbon. Fearless. Brave. Unafraid of what Red John may bring to their door. And here he sat in his car feeling that familiar dread of what the man who ruined his life could do to him once again, gradually rising in him as he felt that spark ignite between himself and Lisbon once more. He sighed and resolved he had to somehow get a grip of himself and stop the fear overtake him. He owed her the same guts she'd shown him in their fight against him. He gripped the steering wheel and his wedding ring glinted against a shard of moonlight as a cloud passed overhead. His eyes ran over the worn gold band and he ran his thumb against the back of it. He knew every scratch, every scuff mark. He could pick it out of a line up of one hundred rings of the same shape and size with his eyes closed. It had once represented the love for his wife, their union together cut short far too quickly. Now it had the ability to represent something else. To show his commitment to the other woman he'd fallen in love with. To show her he could be courageous too. In a quick fluid motion he pulled it from his finger and stared at it for a second in his right hand before dropping it into his vest pocket.

After picking up a small bunch of flowers from the passenger seat he exited the vehicle and took a quick glance around. Her street looked deserted, the warm breeze ruffling his hair as he knocked on her front door. After a few seconds she opened it, a vision in a close fitted knee length black dress, her décolletage slightly on show through the V of her neckline. "Wow," he smiled, "you look amazing."

She blushed as he expected she would, increased when she noticed the flowers in his hand. "For you," he said as he handed them to her, his smile widening.

"You got me flowers?" she replied, her dimples on display as she smiled.

He shrugged nonchalantly and put his hands in his pockets as he kissed her cheek. "It's a date, isn't it?"

"Come in," she said, rushing ahead of him to find a vase.

He closed the door behind him as he watched her from the doorway of the kitchen, opening and closing cupboards furiously. "Maybe I should have bought you a vase to put them in too," he chuckled.

"I know I have one here somewhere...Ah! Here we go!" She collected a vase from the back of cupboard and placed water in it before placing the small bunch of white roses and carnations into it. "They're beautiful, Jane. Thank you." She added quickly, "Even if they are just for show," she smiled as she set them on her small dining table.

"Who says they're just for show?"

She ignored his remark and picked up a wrap from the back of a chair. "So, where are we off to? Better be someplace nice if I have to wear heels."

* * *

As they were seated in a terrace at an upscale Italian restaurant twinkling fairy lights surrounded them as the waiter took their drinks orders. As they picked up their menus Lisbon gasped suddenly and Jane smiled from behind his.

"Where...where's your ring?" she stammered.

"Hmm?" he asked, feigning ignorance from behind his menu.

"Jane, your wedding ring. Where is it?"

He put his menu down and smiled softly at her. "In my vest pocket."

"What's it doing in there?" she frowned.

"Well nothing much at the moment I'd presume. It is an inanimate object after all, Lisbon."

She rolled her eyes at his attempt at humour. "You took it off?" She paused and then nodded. "Oh, I see. Makes it look more real if you take your ring off while we're doing this relationship thing. Okay...I get it now."

The note of disappointment in her voice was impossible to miss. Nor was the slight tremor of her hands as she picked up her menu again as she tried to compose herself.

"I don't intend to put it back on again, Teresa. Whatever happens in the future."

She dropped her menu after a split second, her brow crinkling. "You don't?" she asked quietly.

He shook his head, his throat tightening with emotion. "Nope."

"Why not?"


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35 - Rollercoaster

He puffed out a breath and spoke softly. "Because I don't need a band of gold as a memento that I was once married to a wonderful woman. Nor do I need it to remind me of my quest to defeat Red John. When...when we became a couple I should have taken it off then-"

"You were afraid of Red John finding out about us. I understood that, Jane."

He smiled at her and took another breath. "I've come to realise I was afraid of more than that. And I think you always suspected as much."

The infinitesimal movement of her hand towards her cross before she stopped herself gave him his confirmation.

"I've used Red John as a justification for not moving on with my life since he entered it. Being afraid of what he might bring to my door again has kept me from confronting my own fears of what that might require from me. And while the threat of what he might take from me again was and is very real I need to address my own shortcomings too. To have the courage to give myself fully to another person without being consumed by the fear of losing them, no matter how that might happen. And the truth, Teresa, is that I was a pretty lousy boyfriend to you."

He put his hand up to stop her when she opened her mouth to refute the allegation. "Please let me finish. I'm not saying I was when we were alone with each other. Those times, I was the best I could possibly be and I know I made you happy. But then I'd leave you in the middle of the night, make sure I maintained what we had but gave you no indication of what a future with me might look like or move us any closer to that future. The fact is when I fell in love with you, another wonderful woman, I should have removed it then.

"You didn't push it perhaps because you had your own guilt to deal with. Plus you're not the type of person who'd make me do something I wasn't ready for. Maybe you thought us being together in a somewhat part time way was all you deserved from our relationship because of how it started. Or maybe because you only ever gave a small part of yourself away to every other man until me it didn't matter to you straight away."

He laughed softly. "Apart from when your patience ran out and you couldn't help yourself ask me for more."

Tears pricked at her eyes at his heartfelt words. "Jane, I always knew what the deal with you was. How much you were willing to give me. I accepted that. But when I did ask you for more you gave it to me. You were far from a terrible boyfriend. You need to realise that."

He shrugged, his expression disbelieving of her words. "A weekend away was nothing compared to what I should have had the guts to do before then." He waved his hand around the romantic environment they were sitting in. "I should have done all this with you back then too. Romantic dinners, walks in the park...whatever. Instead I blamed my fear of what Red John might do stop me from experiencing the joy of what being with you would actually have been like on a full time basis. I used him as an excuse so I didn't have to consider my own failings. Maybe if I'd committed to you more...if I'd shown you how serious I was about you then you'd have felt more able to be more honest with me too."

His impromptu and honest confession silenced her momentarily. She fiddled with the napkin while she gathered her thoughts as he took a large glug of water. "I don't know about any of that, Jane. You had a legitimate reason for being afraid. And, as for making a commitment to me back then... well I was so consumed with what you might do if I told you about your cure I may still have kept quiet. If you'd been more committed I might have felt there was even more to lose."

"Maybe. Or you might have felt more at ease and we'd have talked it through somehow. Guess we'll never know. But we can't change any of that now, in any case."

She glanced at his bare ring finger. "So...you should have taken it off for me, that's what you're saying?" she clarified.

"I should have taken it off for _us_, Teresa."

"But what's the point of making this gesture now? We're not together anymore, Jane."

He licked his lips and looked deep in her eyes, suddenly aware his heart was hammering in his chest. He grabbed hold of some bravery as he took a breath. "Is that how you want it to stay?"

A waiter approached and Lisbon breathed out, picking the first thing on the menu she saw, her mind no longer on food as her stomach performed a somersault after his question. Jane ordered quickly, glancing at her as he did so, obvious in his reading of her.

"You don't know," he told her as soon as the waiter had excused himself. "You don't know if you want this to be real again."

After his honesty she felt compelled to be just as truthful. "You're right. I don't know, Jane. There's been so much anger, hurt and so much pain on both sides. And you're not all that long back after being gone for so long. And now...with Red John back in our lives again...and this whole thing with Stiles...there are so many reasons why us being together for real is a bad idea."

He hid his deflation and nodded. "I understand. You're most probably right."

* * *

The rest of the dinner was spent in avoiding the subject again and they discussed cases and the approaching wedding to distract them from any awkwardness it had caused between them. By the time they arrived back at Lisbon's condo conversation had dwindled to a few words, however, and a heavy atmosphere was prevalent as Jane cut the engine. He suddenly felt like a teenager again, palms sweaty as he turned to her.

"Look, Lisbon, I'm sorry if I said too much earlier-"

"You didn't," she came back with quickly though the contemplation and trepidation in her eyes told him otherwise. "Thanks for dinner." She licked her lips nervously. "And for your honesty." Then she added quickly, "Would you like to come in?" Even in the moonlight he knew she was blushing as she stuttered, "For...for tea, I mean."

Before he had a chance to talk himself out of it or decipher any hidden meaning behind her words he answered. "Yes. Love to."

They walked to her front door with just the sound of a cat meowing nearby for company, the lightest sweep of his fingers on her lower back as she fumbled for the key in her purse. He saw the pulse point in her neck jump at his touch and his heart rate picked up in return as he stood at her side.

As soon as they were inside she took a few quick steps away from him and motioned to the living room they were standing in, making a gesture she needed to make a sweep. He nodded in understanding as both a rush of relief that he had a few moments alone to centre himself and a flood of disappointment that she hadn't bounded into his arms as soon as they were through the door coursed through his body.

"I'll make us some tea while you get those heels off," he said as she dashed off to check for listening devices. He exhaled slowly as he imagined she was doing, the tension between them intensified now they were alone.

* * *

He performed his perfunctory tea making ritual, hoping by doing so his heart rate would slow down but the rapid thumping against his chest told him otherwise. Unfortunately his biofeedback training also seemed to have malfunctioned. Maybe accepting her invitation had been a mistake. He was in danger of making a damn fool of himself if he stayed in her company for much longer. She'd given him the brush off, hadn't she?

But her words were ambiguous. Of course there were many reasons why they shouldn't be a couple again but there were many reasons before too and they'd still taken that leap. And he hadn't actually told her that he wanted them to be one again, only what he should have done when they were in a relationship before. As usual, clear communication between them was one of their biggest obstacles.

He stood opposite the stove in the kitchen, his eyes fixed to the gas flame under the kettle, concentrating on it solely to stop visions of green eyes and naked freckled skin swimming through his head.

"You look like you're deep in thought," she proposed as she leaned against the kitchen doorframe and watched him.

He turned towards her and raked his eyes over her body, smiling when he saw her still in her dress but barefoot. "Everything okay?"

She nodded, "Yeah, all clear. It's a pain in the ass checking every time I come home."

"Better that than him listening to every sound."

"I guess."

He turned back to the stove and turned the whistling kettle off. "I made peppermint, hope that's okay."

"Sure," she smiled, taking a step forward so she stood beside him.

He focused on pouring boiling water into the two mugs before dipping teabags into them. He saw her hand move to her cross from the corner of her eye and was somewhat relieved she was feeling the effects of the charge in the air between them too.

He turned his back to the counter and took a long sip of tea. "Teresa, I don't want to create any more tension between us. If it's easier to forget what I said earlier-"

"Why didn't you kiss me last night?" she asked as she moved to stand at the opposite side of the kitchen.

Her question came out of the blue and he frowned. "Sorry?"

She ran her tongue around her lips to moisten them. "When I left your place last night you barely kissed me. Then I thought...well I thought it was because you wanted us to keep this act up, to only kiss like that so we didn't get confused about what's real and what's not. But...but...if I deduced what you were trying to say earlier then...well then-"

As she struggled to get the words out he finished the thought for her. "Yes, you deduced correctly. I want us to get back together. For real. And no half measures this time."

_Well, there it is out in the open_ he thought to himself as he took a large gulp of tea again before placing the mug on the counter, shoving his hands into his pockets and fortifying himself for her response.

"Why?"

"You need me to say it?" Instinctively he didn't think she was ready to hear or believe those three words from him again just yet.

He was proved right when she quickly shook her head. "Why now, though, all of a sudden?"

"It was hardly all of a sudden. Since I've come back we've become closer again, especially the last few days. Why tonight? Well, someone talked some sense into me today. Told me something I already knew, actually, but made me look at myself and face it head on."

"I see," she said quietly, dipping her head towards her mug as she drank from it. Then she placed the vessel on the counter behind her and approached him.

His breath hitched as she stood facing him. Not only his biofeedback but his reading skills had practically eluded him. He could only glean the question she asked earlier was still on her mind but nothing else. Certainly not her intentions. "I didn't kiss you properly last night because...well because I didn't want him to witness that. If he was watching us I didn't want him to see us like that. And I know that's supposed to be part of the act but...but he's already taken away so much from us, Teresa-"

Her mouth found his and his words turned into a low moan as he relished the feel of it against his own. He brought his hands up to her waist and kissed her back, slipping his tongue easily into her parted lips, putting all the emotion and desire he'd wanted to place into the kiss the night before into this one instead. As they continued he pulled her tighter against him as she leaned into his body, hanging her arms around his neck and playing with his hair, drawing his head closer to hers. They angled their heads so they could kiss each other deeper, soft moans of pleasure abating to a louder and more desperate need.

"Better than last night's effort?" he smiled as they drew apart for air, breathless and flushed.

She breathed, "This is probably still a really bad idea."

He captured her lips again. "No, it isn't."

She took a half step back and shook her head. "I'm still not sure, Jane. I'm...I'm afraid..."

He nodded and took a deep breath. It wasn't fear of Red John that was Lisbon's problem, of course; it was the fear of having her heart broken again. By him. Afraid of him upping sticks and leaving her alone again. There were no words he could think of to dispel her fear. But he was hopeful she could push through it or he never would have said those words to her. But she needed to work through her anxieties just as he had. So he asked her softly, "Do you want me to leave?"

She blinked for a few seconds then slowly shook her head. "No. But I can't promise you anymore than what happens between us tonight. Not yet."

He closed the gap between them and kissed her quickly before he smiled cheekily at her. "Then I'll take _tonight_."

She arched an eyebrow, "Oh, you will, will you?" she smiled.

He leaned down and placed soft kisses down her neck, his smile widening as she made little keening sounds as his lips brushed her skin. He whispered between kisses. "Allow...me to...finish...I'll take...tonight." He paused again as he kissed the pulse point on her neck. "For now."

His lips descended on hers again before she had a chance to reply, ensuring all coherent thoughts left her mind as he put his arms around her again and trailed his hands slowly over the soft fabric of her dress before running his fingers lazily over the cheeks of her derriere. She took his hand and led him towards the stairs, their progress impeded as they kept stopping to kiss on their way there. When they approached her couch he pulled her towards it instead, passion overtaking the comfort of a bed. They grinned and he flopped down on it before her as she hitched her dress up a few centimetres to straddle his lap. They became lost in kisses as his hands grasped her thighs and she began to unbutton his vest and shirt. His head rolled back against the back of the couch when her fingers made contact with his bare skin. Tiny fires erupted as her nails scratched his chest gently. He flung his head forward again and brought his lips towards hers again, more urgently and hungrily as he nipped at them. Her nails dug deeper, eliciting groans of gratification from both of them. She knew exactly how to turn him on, her small fingers experienced in finding that perfect threshold between pleasure and pain. Before she made him a quivering wreck he turned her body and brought her legs up to lie across him, one arm holding her in his arms. She adjusted her own position accordingly to sit on his lap and linked one hand around the base of his neck while the other began working on his belt as they continued kissing. He ran his free hand up the bare skin of her legs as he lowered her head to the armrest, pushing her hand away from his belt until it lay at the side of her head. He kissed her neck and cleavage as his fingers ascended.

**M section – will let you know when it's over, sorry, it's a lengthy one for those who aren't fans**

She panted and closed her eyes as she felt his fingers make contact with the apex of her thighs before he began to rub the soft cotton of her panties with his thumb. "Oh my god," she gasped as her breathing increased after only a few passes. He grinned; nuzzling her neck as he continued his sweet seduction below before he kissed the extremely sensitive spot at the back of her ear. She shuddered and gripped his hair as he increased the pressure with his thumb and quickened the pace. He kissed her earlobe and nibbled on it as he moved his hand beneath her cotton briefs, moaning gutturally as he felt her slickness. He continued to stimulate her, a finger joining his thumb as she became wetter still. He kissed her mouth again, his tongue joining hers in a torrid tango as he excited her further. Suddenly she yelled his name as her muscles spasmed around him, her orgasm hitting her like a freight train. He moved his hand to her rear and caressed it tenderly underneath her underwear and brought her head into the crook of his neck as she rode it out, kissing her perspiration gleaming cheek with small pecks. "God, I've missed hearing that sound," he whispered, kissing her forehead.

"I've missed making it," she replied, out of breath and wide eyed. He chuckled in return as she moved to straddle his hips again, pushing her hair from her face as she took a deep breath. His hands moved to the zipper of her dress and he pulled it down slowly as he watched her breathing even out. A second later he pulled it over her head and threw it on the floor behind them. His eyes glazed over as he saw her perfect little body once again, encased only in a black cotton bra and briefs. Teresa Lisbon never required expensive lingerie to look sexy as hell in his books. "You're beautiful," he whispered. "I never told you that enough." His voice cracked as his vision wandered over her freckles, right in front of him again and not in some of the tortuous dreams he had the past year.

He was so engrossed in watching her he only realised she had loosened his belt when he heard the zipper of his pants make a sound and saw her hands push them down to the top of his thighs. She smiled smugly as he looked down, her fingers already snaking their way inside his boxers. He took an intake of breath as she took hold of him and began her slow and teasing arousal while she kissed his neck and chest gently. His head rolled back again as his hands went back to her ass and began rocking her hips gently. As she started to grind against him he unclipped her bra, raising her head and kissing her lips passionately as he discarded it. His mouth found an erect nipple and he brushed it with a swipe of his tongue before his lips covered it, lapping it as she increased the motion of her hand. He ventured to the other breast, his mouth giving it the same treatment while his thumb ran over the previous wet peak.

Then she pushed him back against the couch suddenly and he stared at her, plump lipped and flushed, her irises dark green with want. But more than that, he saw the power she knew she had over him at this moment. She smirked and left his lap, getting down on her knees in front of him. He shook his head weakly at her intention and swallowed, his throat dry and his breathing increasingly ragged, unsure if he could maintain control after so long without her, unsure if he could last another minute before the need for her became too much. But he was more certain he was powerless to stop her take advantage of the dominance she held over him currently. She leaned forward and darted her tongue out, her eyes staring into his before she tasted him, slowly and with savour. His body jerked immediately and he grasped the seat cushion beneath him, digging his nails into it, inwardly begging his biofeedback to kick in. When she took him into her mouth his eyes rolled back in his head until he closed them, the image in front of him too sensuous for him to bear. Gradually he found some strength as she expertly worked him and he opened his eyes again, licking his lips and meeting her eyes as she continued. She grinned wickedly and he shook his head at her but she merely grinned again before drawing him in deeper.

"God, Teresa," he whispered, his eyes on stalks as she increased the pace. The blood was coursing through his veins like a high speed locomotive and before it derailed him entirely he took hold of her shoulders to dislodge her mouth. She licked her swollen lips and he pounced on them with his own, his hands travelling to her face where he kissed her without restraint as he held her cheeks in his hands. Her arms whipped around his neck as he tore off his shirt and vest before pulling her closer again and she kissed him back with ferocity as soon as they were skin to skin. Then they were on the floor, Jane hovering over her as he rained kisses on her face, her neck, her collarbone, her breasts, and her stomach as he kicked off his socks and shoes and rid himself of his pants and underwear. She moaned as he crawled lower on her body, pushing the coffee table out of the way to create space. A lamp on the table beside it toppled over behind him and he glanced back quickly before shrugging and continuing as he kissed her navel as his fingers danced over her breasts. Lisbon barely registered the sound it made as she clasped her hand over her face and panted. He arrived at the band of her panties and stopped, lingered, grinned at her until she looked at him. When she did she nodded in return with a knowing smile, recognising it was her turn to be driven crazy now. He quickly pulled off her panties with one hand before he raised her hips and breathed in her aroma, the sweetest perfume he could imagine. Soon she was writhing against his mouth as his tongue toyed with her briefly before she jerked her head up from the carpet and her hand shot out to her side to steady herself. Inadvertently she caught the floor lamp to her right and knocked it over with a loud thud as she came again.

"Now we're even," Jane chuckled as the noise beside her startled her from her unrestrained elation.

She laughed and he soon was beside her again as they kissed and held each other, their passion slowing down as they regained their breaths. He kissed her softly and looked deep in her eyes as he ran a finger down her cheek in adoration. She nodded, blinking a couple of tears away as she pulled him to cover her body with his. They kissed deeply and slowly and she nodded again as he centred himself over her. One final gentle kiss and he was inside her. Neither moved for a split second as they relished the feel of each other again as they stared into each other's eyes. She pulled her legs up around his hips to encourage him and he pushed deeper, their eyes closing simultaneously before they found a slow rhythm. They kissed gently and delicately as they moved together, both afraid it would be over too soon if they allowed their passion to run away with them too quickly. "I'm so sorry I hurt you," he whispered in her ear, his voice breaking.

"I know," she breathed, her hands squeezing his biceps. "I'm sorry too."

"It's forgotten." He kissed her bare shoulder, the bullet mark inflicted by O'Laughin. He wound his arms around her, holding her tighter, fear of losing her again taking hold of him briefly. In turn she did likewise, not knowing what the future may hold for both of them and wanting this beautiful moment between them to last as long as they could make it.

After a few minutes their willpower slipped and their movements sped up, Lisbon pushing Jane onto his back as she took control once more, increasing the pace again as he held onto her waist, their gentle kisses becoming passionate and hungry again. As he felt her near her climax he flipped her onto her back again and thrusted into her with abandon, stimulating her core as a thick film of sweat covered his body. Lisbon clasped his damp locks as she rocked with him in this final frenzy until they both found their release together with a loud roar of satisfaction.

**M section end**

Jane shifted his weight off her and lay nuzzled against her shoulder as they both regained their breaths.

"Wow," he said as he shook his head.

"Definitely wow," Lisbon agreed at his side, shaking hers.

He raised his head slightly, glancing around the living room. The coffee table was lodged against a chair, two lamps had fallen over and an array of clothing scattered the space around them. "Did we just have an earthquake?" he chuckled.

Lisbon giggled, "More like three of them, I'd say."

He laughed and kissed her shoulder, his left hand lying across her stomach. She ghosted her fingers over the indentation left by his ring.

"Must feel strange, not wearing it?" she asked softly.

He took hold of her hand and snuggled into the nook of her neck. "Well, I'll have to adapt some of my magic and card tricks certainly. Weight is different now, you see-"

"Jane," she said, "stop kidding around. Tell me."

He kissed her neck gently, smiling as felt her pulse quicken in the hand he held. Quietly, "Feels a little strange, of course. But not as strange as I thought it might. Turns out it was just a ring, not an object with some kind of mystical power over me. Removing it actually makes me feel...stronger, more courageous."

"More courageous?"

He raised himself up on an elbow to look at her face. He smiled softly at it, rivulets of perspiration on her forehead, her cheeks roaring red from her exertions, her hair a tangled mess around her head and her lips deep burgundy and inflated. Her green eyes shone back at him, full of vitality and the after glow of sex. He kissed her gently, hardly believing his luck the night had ended like this.

"I told you what I wanted this evening. I think removing it gave me the courage to voice that."

Then he saw her expression turn worrisome, a slight crease appearing between her eyes. "It's okay, Lisbon," he said to her, "I heard you earlier. I understand your reticence in making this something more permanent presently. Just because I removed my ring it doesn't mean I expect anything from you in return. It's staying off no matter what happens between us. Angela was my past. And I...I hope you'll be my future but I'm not naive enough to think that some mind-blowing sex is going to make you suddenly want to take me back into your heart."

"You say that like you ever left it in the first place," she smiled, widening when she saw his face light up at her words. Then she took a long breath. "But, yes, I'm wary. I'm not saying I don't want a future with you, just..."

"I told you, it's fine. Stop stressing about it, Teresa. But...you don't regret what just happened, do you?"

She shook her head emphatically. "Of course not. But...making me feel that way again probably isn't going to help me keep my distance either I have to admit," she laughed.

"Good," he grinned, pecking her lips. More serious, "You know this is exactly what I was afraid of when I came back. This very scenario."

"Sex on the living room floor?" she teased.

"No, just sex in general," he smiled. "As soon as I saw you again I had to reinforce myself to fight against this happening between us. When you walked into that interrogation room-"

"You treated me like something you'd trodden in."

He nodded, "Had to. Otherwise you'd have seen right through me. I knew as soon as we became friends I'd want this again."

"You said you were still mad at me back then."

"I was but...that doesn't mean I wasn't incredibly attracted to you at the same time."

She rolled her eyes. "You're a complicated man, Patrick Jane."

"And you're not complicated?"

She laughed and so did he for a few seconds.

"Is it okay if I stay over?" he asked when it died down.

"All night?"

"If that would be acceptable to you, then yes, all night."

A smile crept up on her lips. "You really are becoming brave. Okay, then. But I still hog most of the bed."

He grinned and kissed her quickly. "Let's go to bed. I'm shattered."

As they moved from the floor, Jane groaned as he did so followed by exclaiming a loud, "Ow!"

"What is it? You lie on a piece of the lamp?" she smirked.

"No," he said, rubbing his backside. "Damn carpet burns on my ass. You forgot we weren't in a bed, woman!"

"I didn't hear you complain at the time," she laughed as she pulled the throw from the couch around her for warmth as she picked up her underwear. "Quite the opposite, in fact."

He straightened out the coffee table and tried to find his boxers as Lisbon's cell sounded from the purse on her dining table.

"No," he whined as he turned the floor lamp upright and checked the time. "Not a case. I was looking forward to that bed."

Glancing at the broken lamp on the floor beside the table he shook his head. "This one's totalled, I'm afraid."

"You owe me a lamp then," she said as she rushed to grab her phone.

He answered assuredly, "A broken lamp was well worth it and you know it. I should be charging you for the privilege of my attention."

She reached into her purse as her cheeks reddened at his words. She could hardly refute them but damned if she'd give him the confirmation he was seeking.

"It's Cho," she shrugged. "Normally despatch or Wainwright calls with a new case."

"Maybe he's drunk dialling you from the bachelor party," Jane sniggered.

"Cho, drunk? Well that would be something I'd pay to see," she grinned.

"Hey Cho," she said cheerfully. "What's up?"

As Jane pulled on his boxer shorts he saw her stumble into a seat at the table. Listening to her side of the conversation his blood, red hot just moments before, suddenly ran cold.

She closed her eyes and took a sudden intake of breath. Weakly, "Oh my god. No...oh god no...When did this happen, Kimball?"

She glanced at Jane quickly, "Okay. No...He's...he's here with me. No, let Wainwright take care of that. You stay with Rigsby. He needs you more right now. We'll be there straight away."

She put her phone down next to the vase of white flowers and held a shaky hand to her forehead, her eyes following him as he approached her. She began to shake her head as tears threatened.

"What happened to Grace, Teresa?" he asked her as his breathing increased, fear taking hold of him.

"You know what happened to her, Jane," she replied almost robotically, the need to shut down her emotions taking over before they ruled her and made her incapable of speech. "Red John, of course."

* * *

**A/N: Okay...two apologies. First, yes, another cliffhanger but come on, who wouldn't have done the same thing at this point? Hope you forgive me and keep reading.**

**Secondly, sorry to all those readers who don't enjoy/are tired of M scenes (I know the feeling, believe me, I get tired writing them sometimes too!) But I have been asked increasingly lately by those who do like them to add another one to this story and this seemed the right juncture to do so. It won't be a recurrent theme, though. Too much of the story still to be told to add them as a regular feature. **

**But there will be some more fluffy moments ahead without the M for those who enjoy that kind of thing. **

**But coming up next...more angst and drama...it's pretty heavy going by my standards. Buckle up! **


	36. Chapter 36

**A/N: Not much holiday cheer in this chapter I'm afraid but hope you like it &amp; all have a lovely break. Thanks again for all your support this year for this and all my other stories, my second Christmas writing FF. It's flown by!**

* * *

Chapter 36 – Anger &amp; Assumptions

BANG!

Lisbon and Jane crashed through the double hospital doors, their eyes everywhere seeking Cho or Rigsby. Hidden behind four other CBI agents they found the former sitting in a clear glass cubicle waiting room, on his feet as soon as he saw them. Normally expressionless, his lips tightened and he nodded quickly, more than a hint of alarm in his demeanour. He, like the other agents present, was dressed in a T shirt and jeans, their nights off duty activities brought to a close by the attack on one of their own.

"How is she?" Lisbon asked immediately, scanning for Rigsby simultaneously.

"Not good," Cho said with a curt shake of the head. "She's in surgery, doctors aren't hopeful."

She exhaled. Muttered, "Dear god," under her breath, her hand shooting to her cross before she scanned the room again. "Where's Rigsby?"

"Went to call her parents, tell them to get here. Fast."

She nodded and fought against an overwhelming feeling of dread as she took another breath. Focusing on the night's events so she didn't dwell on her emotions instead she asked, "What the hell happened, Kimball?"

"Rigsby ducked out of the bachelor party early. Was afraid we'd ship him to China or something, I guess. Went to her place, let himself in with his spare key."

He briefly glanced at Jane who still hadn't uttered a word since they'd arrived before turning his attention back to Lisbon. "She was lying on the bed, hands and feet zip tied, mouth duct taped, multiple stab wounds to her torso and abdomen. Red John was standing over her with a linoleum knife."

Lisbon glanced at Jane, waiting for the obvious question. When he didn't ask it she did. "He saw Red John, knows who he is?"

"No," Jane chipped in suddenly, finding his voice finally. "He was in disguise, I presume."

Cho nodded. "Dressed all in black including a mask. Took Rigsby a few seconds to realise what was happening. He went to draw his weapon but by that time Red John had exited through a window leading to the fire escape. Imagine that's how he got in. Rigsby got a few shots off but don't know if any managed to hit."

"He had to get back to check on Grace," Lisbon sighed with a nod. "Well let's hope he got at least one into the son of a bitch."

"No doubt."

"Then what?" Jane asked.

"As soon as Rigsby called for an ambulance and put pressure on her wounds he called me. Some of the others who were still at O'Malleys too so we came right by. By the time we arrived EMTs were there but she was unconscious by then. Before then Rigsby said she was mumbling and he tried to keep her awake but he couldn't make out anything coherent."

He shook his head and took a breath, his stoicism in the face of pretty much everything slipping momentarily. "There was a lot of blood at the scene, boss." He shook his head again, clearly recalling all he'd seen. "A lot of blood."

Tears pricked at Lisbon's eyes when she saw her most unflappable agent so clearly affected. She squeezed his upper arm while she looked him straight in the eye. Softly but determinedly, "She's a fighter. She's not going to give up without one so neither do we."

Jane looked at her sideways. She was doing her best to reassure her team member but he could see through the act she was putting on and that she was just as worried as Cho was about Van Pelt's fate.

Cho cleared his throat as he nodded. "Wainwright's taken a team to comb the scene and surrounding area, see if they can find any traces of blood in the alley behind her apartment. You never know, Rigsby might have nicked him and we recover some DNA. We might get lucky."

Jane raised an eyebrow. "Well we could use some kind of win, that's for sure." A second later he asked, "Apart from stab wounds any other injuries?"

Cho shrugged, "Doctors haven't said yet, she was taken straight to surgery when she arrived. She was dressed in a nightgown, looked like she was getting ready for bed."

"She wasn't _in _bed already?"

"Didn't appear that way. Wainwright's at the scene. Call him, he can tell you more."

At that moment Rigsby appeared from around a corner, cell phone in hand and his lips set in a grimace as he ran his free hand through his hair. So concentrated on the phone call he'd just had to make he didn't notice Lisbon and Jane until Lisbon approached him.

"God, Wayne, I'm so sorry-"

"What the hell are they are doing here?" he snapped, barely looking at his boss as he brushed past her and addressing Cho instead. He pointed a long finger at him. "I told you I didn't want them anywhere near here!" he barked.

"And I told you I had to call them anyway," his friend replied evenly.

Rigsby emitted a humourless chuckle and looked at his partner with contempt.

Lisbon, wide eyed, tried again. She hovered at his back. "Wayne...we just wanted to say-"

"I don't give a damn what you want!" he yelled, suddenly swinging around to face her and attracting the attention of the other agents in the small cubicle along with some nurses who were passing just outside of it.

Lisbon jerked back in surprise while he continued his tirade, looking at her and then Jane, who had come to stand beside her by this point. "You did this! You and your goddamned plan to catch him! You made him come after her!"

He concentrated on Lisbon, "I used to look up to you, you know, but you're no better than he is now," he said as he wildly gesticulated to Jane. "Following him along on another cockamamie plan that was never going to work."

Lisbon shook her head furiously. "But it wasn't even Jane's-"

"That's enough," Jane said to Rigsby before she could finish. "Stop talking to her like that."

The taller man towered over him. "No, it isn't nearly enough," he told him coldly.

Lisbon butted in, "Wayne, if I'd thought there was even a chance he'd come after Grace like this-"

"What, what would you have done boss, huh? Protect her?"

"Of course-"

He sneered, "Why? I might have caught him for you tonight. Then you two could have sailed into the sunset together like you've always wanted." Flippantly, "Sure, Grace may have died but what's another death if it catches Red John, right?"

He pointed at Jane. "That's what you think, isn't it?"

Jane replied calmly, "No."

"Really? Because it's Grace? What if it was someone else? Someone you didn't know who had to die to catch him. You'd let them die in a heartbeat you cold son of a bitch-"

"You're wrong," Jane interrupted. "And hypotheticals and letting off steam at the two of us isn't going to help Grace. Neither is it what she'd want you to do."

Rigsby huffed and took a breath. "Don't tell me what my fiancée would want-"

"She wouldn't want you to act like an ass, that's for sure."

Before Cho or Lisbon could intervene, Rigsby landed a loose punch to Jane's nose, making him topple back a few steps.

"Jesus, are you okay!?" Lisbon asked Jane, as she went to touch it while Cho grabbed hold of Rigsby and pulled him out of the way. She shook her head at him. Quietly, "Jane, what the hell were you thinking baiting him at a time like this?"

He patted his nose to check it wasn't broken then nodded over to the distraught fiancé who Cho had now managed to make sit down in a plastic chair a few paces away. Now he'd expelled his anger he sat with his head in his hands, his shoulders moving up and down as he sobbed. "I needed _that_ to happen," Jane told her. "He had to let his anger out before it ate him up. I was just helping him release some of the pressure in a healthy and controlled manner. Better he take it out on me than you or the doctors or nurses here. And better he be angry at me than at himself. He blames himself for leaving her alone tonight, that much is obvious. While he's mad at me he won't think too much about that."

She could just about see his twisted logic but rolled her eyes. "I'd hardly call antagonising him to punch you healthy. And you shouldn't have done that to protect me. I more than deserved what he gave me."

As he was about to speak Cho squeezed Rigsby's shoulder and walked over to them. "Look-"

"We'll leave," Jane said, noticing that while Rigsby's temper had been diffused for now their presence was not conducive to it staying that way. Lisbon was staring ahead at Rigsby, gauging whether she should make another attempt to engage with him. "He's not ready to talk to us yet, Teresa," Jane said at her side gently. "Not yet. And there's nothing we can do for her if we stay here."

She looked up at him as she chewed on her bottom lip and then at Cho. "Jane's right," he agreed. "She's going to be in surgery for at least another couple of hours. I'll stay with Rigsby, keep you appraised of any news."

"Kay," she sighed. "Okay." Louder, "As soon as you hear anything about her condition-"

"I'll call you."

She nodded and sniffed, taking a breath as she looked around her. "You need me to assign you a couple of extra people to make sure you're all safe here? We know he could come after any one of us now."

He shook his head and nodded towards the other CBI agents, one of whom was handing Rigsby a cup of coffee. "We're all staying here tonight. And pairing up after that if we go anywhere. We can reassess in a day or two. We trust each other; don't want to introduce a new variable right now."

She nodded, "I understand. Okay, good." Hers was a tight knit team and she certainly could see the value in ensuring they kept it that way. They had no clue who they could trust within Law Enforcement and it could be argued it was riskier to invite more security from relative strangers than not.

"How about you two?" he asked. "You're more at risk than any of us."

Jane answered for her, "We'll pair up too."

"You don't even know how to fire a gun."

"Hasn't stopped me in the past," he reminded him.

* * *

He recognised it in her immediately, like a hanger on at a party who wouldn't leave his side.

Guilt.

She'd said barely a word since they'd left the hospital, her eyes trained on the blackness outside as she sat beside him as he drove them away, one hand entangled in her cross, her mouth moving in silent prayer.

"Home, then?" he said after silence had lapsed into uncomfortable tension. She blinked in acknowledgement of his words and furrowed her brow.

"Lisbon?" he tried when no immediate response was forthcoming.

"No," she said quickly, turning in her seat. Resolutely, "I want to go to her apartment."

He stared at her for a moment before concentrating on the road in front of him again. "I don't think that's a good idea," he said quietly.

"I need to see it, Jane. And don't tell me you don't want to go there too."

He shifted a little in his seat. Of course he wanted to go there and investigate. But he wasn't sure if she was ready to face what she would see there. Or if he was ready to see it himself. "I'm sure Wainwright will let us know-"

"We don't even know if we can trust Wainwright. Or anyone else there for that matter. For all we know they could all be Red John's people."

"You're beginning to sound paranoid, you know."

"You're hardly one to talk. And after tonight I have good reason. If Red John had to leave in a hurry then maybe he left something at her place that could identify him."

"It's unlikely. He'd have made sure there was no chance of DNA being left behind before he went near her place. Plus, on the slim off chance he did then he'll already have organised a way for that evidence to be removed. It's a dead end, Lisbon. Even if Rigsby managed to injure him I'm certain he's already taken care of covering that up too-"

"Well I can't just go home and wait by the phone, Jane! I have to do something, damn it!" she snapped, a tear falling onto her cheek that she hastily rubbed off in annoyance.

He sighed heavily. "Fine. We'll go and check it out."

* * *

"Lisbon, Jane." Wainwright greeted them dourly as they made their way through the flurry of forensic techs and police officers to Van Pelt's living room where he stood with his hands in his pockets. They noticed a large sheet of A3 paper on her dining room table with names in yellow post it notes placed at various points on it. "Guess she was finalising seating plans for the wedding," Wainwright shrugged with a sigh. Lisbon bit her bottom lip to control herself from falling apart as Jane watched her silently. He went to put a comforting hand on her back but she pulled away when he'd barely made contact and instead concentrated on Wainwright, visibly regaining control over herself.

"Thought you'd both still be at the hospital. Any news on her condition?" her boss asked.

"Not yet," Lisbon replied, looking away, the reaction she'd received from Rigsby still raw. "How about here? Anything found in the alley?"

"No security cameras as expected. Four bullet casings I assume from Rigsby's weapon. We'll get balistics to double check. So far doesn't look like he made a hit. Hard to check for sure in the dark. Maybe by morning we'll get better news."

"Hmm," Jane responded without much conviction, nodding behind his boss at an opened door. "That her bedroom?"

"Yeah. It's...well..." He sighed, "Come on, I'll fill you in."

As he guided them to the bedroom their eyes immediately went to the blood soaked mattress and momentarily stopped them in their tracks. Lisbon took a breath and looked at Wainwright in its place. "So...what happened?" Her voice was shakier than she would have liked.

He pointed to an opened window that led to a fire escape. "We assume he came in this way. No prints, of course."

"Glass isn't broken," Lisbon said as Jane stooped down and stuck his head out to get a better look at the lock on the outside of the window. "Lock's been picked," he said, pointing to tiny scratch marks on the window frame.

"That's what we figured," Wainwright nodded. "We're assuming he waited until she was in the shower before he opened the window and came in."

They stepped back inside the bedroom and their boss pointed to a closet near her bed. "Probably where he hid while he waited for her to finish getting ready for bed."

"Why didn't he wait for her to go to sleep? That's his usual MO," Lisbon said.

"Assume he must have made a noise or maybe she went to fetch something in the closet-"

"No," Jane cut in. "I think what Lisbon is asking is why he didn't wait until she'd fallen asleep to break in."

She nodded, concurring.

Wainwright shrugged. "I-I don't know." He talked to Jane. "You're the Red John expert, you tell me."

"I don't know. Not yet."

"Anyway," Wainwright continued, "he used a stun gun to incapacitate her we're assuming."

"But not without a struggle first," Lisbon said as she pointed to Van Pelt's dressing table where cosmetics, a jar of moisturiser, some hair products and accessories were toppled over. She narrowed her eyes to a spot of red on a wall beside the dressing table. "He didn't just use a stun gun," she added. "He banged her head off the wall here, too." Her expression darkened as anger slowly began to take the place of pain.

Jane nodded as he peered at the same patch of red. "Once she was unconscious he tied her up and laid her on the bed," he sighed, rubbing a hand across his eyes, "then he really got started on her."

Silence enveloped the room for a few seconds before Wainwright cleared his throat. He checked they were alone in the bedroom and said to them, "Look, he's escalating. That much is obvious. With you and your team now in his crosshairs quite evidently. First the double homicide in Florida and now this attack on Van Pelt. Who knows who he might come after next?" He stared from one to the other. "This...on again relationship of yours...somehow I get the feeling it isn't a coincidence in all of this."

Jane's expression remained blank. "What are you intimating, Luther?"

His boss shook his head at his wayward consultant. "I'm saying that if this so called relationship of yours is some kind of play for you to catch him-"

"You're mistaken," Jane immediately interjected. "I'm not saying he hasn't gone after Grace because of what's happened between Lisbon and I again. It's pretty obvious he hasn' taken that particular news...well. But if you're suggesting subterfuge of any kind then you're way off."

Wainwright placed his hands on his hips, studying him intently for any sign of deception. Jane raised an eyebrow in return, almost willing him to challenge his words.

To break the tension as the silence between both men stretched Lisbon said, "Is there anything else you need from us tonight, boss?"

Wainwright took a step back and shook his head as he bit the inside of his cheek, perturbed by Jane's attitude. "No. I've already arranged a security detail for you both."

"We don't want one," Lisbon replied. "I can take care of both myself and Jane."

"Frankly that's not your call, Lisbon," Wainwright told her. "I'm responsible for you both. It's not up for negotiation."

As Lisbon went to object Jane shook his head at her. "Fine," he said to Wainwright. "I hope you've included one for yourself too. Who knows he might come after next, like you said."

* * *

"Why didn't you object to the security detail?" she asked him as soon as they reached his car.

"What was the point? His mind was made up. Besides, we'll see them a mile off so if we need to lose them it'll be easy enough. And Red John won't use them to come after us. He'll want that pleasure himself. We're probably the safest from that particular threat than any of our colleagues."

"He could still use them to capture one of us."

Jane shrugged, "True but it would be kinda obvious and would blow their cover as his men. I doubt he'd be that reckless. At least not yet.

"And..." his voice turned softer as they took their seats. "And like Cho said earlier...I'm hardly equipped to give you the same protection you can give me. If they're not his men we might need them." He shrugged apologetically, worry evident in his eyes.

Her eyes misted over for a split second before she averted them, putting on her seatbelt. "I don't need you to protect me, Jane."

* * *

As they drove back to her place, Lisbon's eyes barely leaving her phone for news of Van Pelt, she asked him, "Do you think Wainwright's his man?"

"I don't know. I don't...I don't think so, though," he said after a moment's contemplation. "But I didn't see the point in confirming anything about our relationship one way or another. I doubt he'd be discrete if he were questioned by Red John's man. Not if Red John's man is higher up the totem pole than he is."

"Any theories why he didn't wait for Grace to fall asleep?"

"A few."

"Jane," she said sharply, "no secrets, not about this."

"Sorry," he said as they reached her driveway. "Force of habit," he smiled as he turned off the ignition and turned towards her.

"I think...I think he let his emotions get the better of him. I think she was just too...tempting for him. The lure of..." he paused as he chose his next word carefully, "_catching_ her was too great for him to wait until it might have been safer. He would have known Rigsby was at the bachelor party and wouldn't have expected him to come see her that night. Although..." his words trailed off as he furrowed his brow, deep in thought all of a sudden.

Lisbon nodded, catching up with what he was thinking, "If he had a spy at the party he'd have known Rigsby had left it. Would have guessed he'd have gone to her place. Would have known his window for getting to her had just considerably shortened-"

"Which would have added to his hastiness in going after her. If Rigsby snuck out his spy wouldn't have known for sure how long he was gone. Red John may still have felt he had time. For someone else...someone not as...lucrative...not so high a payoff...well he might have stalled his plans for another night but with her, after he'd already seen her-"

"He took the risk," Lisbon finished.

They both took a breath after working through the theory together and nodded to each other, a faint glimmer of hope in their faces. Lisbon said urgently, "I need to call Cho, find out the names of all those at that bachelor party. And I need..." She stopped talking suddenly and blinked rapidly as her breathing quickened.

"What?" Jane urged, frowning.

A tear escaped her eye as she took a deep breath. Softly, "I was...I was going to say that..." She closed her eyes and another tear fell. She palmed it away and swallowed, expelling another breath. Louder, "I was going to say I needed Van Pelt to check their phone records for outgoing calls."

She closed her eyes and sunk back into the car seat as she shook her head, weariness suddenly hitting her like a truck. "God, Jane-"

"This isn't your fault," he said to her softly, reaching over to take her hand from the console between them. "You can't blame yourself for this, Teresa."

She opened her eyes and arched an eyebrow, shaking off his hand and crossing her arms in front of her chest, her posture tightening. "Seriously? _You're_ telling _me_ that?"

He shrugged, "Do as I say not as I do, I suppose. Rigsby was understandably upset earlier. But he didn't mean half of what he said. You can't take it to heart or dwell on it."

"I deserved it. You shouldn't have covered for me. This was my stupid plan, Jane. Not yours."

"That I agreed to go along with. As did the team. And..." he bit his lip but then carried on regardless of the reaction he was expecting to his next words, "And...I don't agree that it's stupid. We now have a lead we didn't have before because of it."

Her eyebrows hit her forehead. "What? So what Rigsby said to you earlier about doing anything to catch Red John-"

He shook his head furiously. Frustrated, he raised his voice, "I'm not saying I wanted this to happen to Grace! Or anyone else, come to that. Jesus, woman, of course I didn't!" He lowered his tone, regaining control. "But it has happened and there's nothing we can do about it. So we focus on what we _can_ do instead. Which is we use it as a way to catch him, if it can help us do that. Otherwise what happened to her is for nothing. We catch him _for_ her." He exhaled, his cadence as soft as she'd ever heard it as he stared intensely into her eyes. "We catch him for_ all_ of them."

They locked eyes as a tear ran down his cheek. After a still moment between them she said quietly, "No."

"No?" he whispered in disbelief, the word almost stuck in his throat.

She shook her head, slowly uncurling her body from the seat before she tentatively took his left hand in hers as she leaned forward to face him. "No. We don't just catch him anymore. We put the bastard in the ground."


	37. Chapter 37

**A/N: Thanks again for all your support for this story. And apologies for not getting back to those of you who reviewed last chapter of this and my other stories lately. FF was partly to blame when I wasn't able to respond to them due to a glitch but also partly my fault too, so sorry for that. I will try to do better with that from now on as they mean the world to me. **

**And for those of you writing where I'm following your stories, apologies for not reviewing most of them lately, I'm way behind in reading but will catch up. I haven't stopped following any of them, just need to find some time.**

**Okay, all apologies done I think. Hope you enjoy this chapter. **

* * *

_"No?" he whispered in disbelief, the word almost stuck in his throat._

_She shook her head, slowly uncurling her body from the seat before she tentatively took his left hand in hers as she leaned forward to face him. "No. We don't just catch him anymore. We put the bastard in the ground."_

* * *

Chapter 37 – A Lead

Jane watched as she fished her phone out of her pocket, her hand trembling slightly as she released his. Grim determination filled her face as she dialled Cho's number. She meant what she said a moment earlier, of that he was certain. But he was unsure if it was simply a kneejerk reaction to the attack on Grace or a more permanent turnaround in change of opinion. In any case, he wasn't about to enter a debate with her about it, it would make their investigative work much easier if she was less concerned with legalities in tracking Red John's accomplice.

He listened to her end of the conversation, quickly surmising that Van Pelt was still in the operating theatre and that her parents had arrived at the Hospital to wait for news. Lisbon quickly updated Cho on their theory and asked him for the names of those present at Rigsby's bachelor party. Jane watched her roll her eyes as Cho seemingly explained that it was a rowdy and busy affair, making remembering all the names of those in attendance difficult, especially when faced with and still affected by what he'd witnessed directly afterwards.

"I can help him with that," Jane whispered at her side. She nodded and put the phone on speaker.

"Cho, Jane can help you remember," Lisbon said.

"He's not hypnotising me," Cho said resolutely on the other end. Jane smiled thinly; his unflappable colleague would undoubtedly be his most resistant test subject if it came to that.

Then Cho conceded in a gentler tone, "Not unless it's a last resort. I'll see what I can come up with myself first. Come and pick me up, I'll come to CBI with you to help run checks."

"Are you sure?" Lisbon asked softly. "Wayne doesn't need you there more?"

"Once I explain why I need to leave he'll understand. He'd want me to do something to help. So would I."

Jane and Lisbon exchanged glances. His tone left no doubt he was becoming increasingly agitated at sitting still when there was a lead he could be working on instead. They couldn't argue with that.

"Okay, we could use your help. We're on our way," Lisbon said.

* * *

Cho picked up from the Hospital entrance the three of them drove to the CBI in relative silence, their thoughts fixed on Van Pelt as they stared at the blackness outside. It was three am and the traffic was nonexistent so they made it in less ten minutes.

"I take it this is off the books," Cho said as they entered the relatively empty bullpen, only a skeleton staff working until morning. Lisbon imagined Wainwright was still conversing with techs at Van Pelt's apartment and wouldn't show up until morning after the crime scene was properly investigated. "Wainwright doesn't know about this?" he added.

"No. You got a problem with that?" Lisbon replied.

"No, no problem," Cho confirmed.

He'd written a list of names with Rigsby's help and pulled it out of his pocket, handing it to Lisbon. "I only checked with Rigsby. While I trust all those still at the hospital I...-"

"You don't trust them as much as you do Rigsby," Jane finished for him. "I think that's wise. Keep a tight circle on this for now."

Cho nodded curtly. "There are at least thirty names here," Lisbon said as she read down the list in front of her. "Let's get started." She ordered Cho, "Check their phone logs. You said Rigsby left at ten to eleven, correct?"

"Yeah, that's what he told me."

"Okay. Then check all calls or texts from that time."

"Just how illegal is this?" Jane asked.

"Very," Lisbon replied with barely a look at him. "But it's not like we'll be using this stuff to make an arrest, is it?" she added stiffly.

She noticed his look of slight surprise. "What?" she snapped.

He held his hands up, placating her. "Nothing at all. Makes things a whole lot easier with less bureaucracy, if you ask me."

"Just where _he's_ concerned," she clarified. "Doesn't give you free rein to run amok with every other case."

He smiled softly at her, surprisingly uplifted that her principles hadn't lapsed entirely. A world where Teresa Lisbon didn't argue with him about rules and procedures wasn't a world he'd recognise. Even if sometimes she only argued to make a point it kept him 'mostly' honest. With her, anyway.

She took up a position at Rigsby's desk and Cho at his own, splitting the list between them. For want of something to do Jane went off to fetch tea and coffee for them all until they gave him something to work on.

* * *

As he put the kettle on to boil and started the coffeemaker he exhaled deeply and ran a hand down his face. Only that morning in this very spot he'd seen the light in Van Pelt's eyes as she talked to him about her wedding and honeymoon, her words of advice that led to him to make a momentous decision and patch things up with Lisbon and, with hope, move things forward between them again. While he knew there was still work to be done to get Lisbon to trust him fully again he'd been dizzyingly happy and optimistic for a few minutes just hours before.

Now, less than twenty four hours after their conversation, the redhead's dreams lay in shatters, her life in jeopardy. And the impact her fate might have on those closest to him if her life ended would be catastrophic. Lisbon was already pushing him away, afraid of shattering if she allowed her emotions out. She'd blame herself for Van Pelt's death and push everyone else away too, most likely choosing Law Enforcement as her one and only refuge. He could only hope that he'd be able to find a way through to her somehow if that occurred. Cho would soldier on but add more armour to his already reinforced exterior. And Rigsby...well he imagined he was likely to find a new partner in his revenge crusade against Red John if his soul mate died. If he didn't self detonate first. And Jane himself...would he leave again as the life of someone he cared for was lost by Red John's hands?

Alone for the first time since the news about her surfaced he closed his eyes, wishing he believed in god or some form of higher entity that he could pray to and find some comfort. His shoulders sagged as he lowered his head, a tear rolling down his cheek as he opened his eyes again, shaking his head, his hands gripped on the edge of the counter. He took another deep breath and straightened himself upright again, wiping the tear away before resuming his tea making.

* * *

"How's he holding up?" Lisbon asked Cho as they tapped on their keyboards opposite each other.

"Rigsby?" He shrugged, "As you'd expect." He paused, "But he was out of line earlier."

"No, he wasn't. He was entitled. But he should have thrown a punch at me, not Jane."

"It wasn't Jane's idea, was it, the subterfuge about your relationship?"

She shook her head. "No. I should leave the crazy plans to him, huh?" she said with a sigh.

"We all agreed. You and Jane okay now?" he asked.

She flushed as images of them rolling around her living room carpet naked entered her head followed immediately by a wave of shame and guilt. "Yeah, we're fine," she replied evenly from behind her screen.

Cho stopped clicking the keys in front of him for a split second before he continued again.

* * *

Five minutes later Jane brought back the beverages. "Anything?" he asked brightly as he stood between the two desks.

"Nothing yet," Lisbon said, taking the coffee mug from him and taking a long sip. "We've discounted some calls already, husbands calling their wives or calling for cabs. Nothing suspicious yet."

Jane nodded and took up a seat on his couch behind them. He drank some tea and waited, intermittently tapping his thigh with the palm of his hand to the sound of fingers hitting keys furiously.

* * *

"Here's something," Cho said twenty minutes later. "Agent Forster texted someone at eleven. Burner cell."

"Who's Agent Forster?" Jane asked, raising himself from his couch at speed to stand between them again.

"Works in Narcotics," Lisbon supplied. "Been here...a few years, right?"

Cho nodded. "Might just have texted a friend who doesn't have a registered phone. Might be nothing."

"Did he receive a text back?" Jane said.

Cho tapped on a few keys. "No."

"Interesting," Jane said.

"Why?" Cho asked.

"Because who doesn't text back to a text message," Lisbon commented.

Jane smiled at her. "Precisely, Lisbon. If you receive a text message it's protocol to text at least once back, isn't it?"

"And if he didn't receive a text back then it could be a tip off or instruction to Red John," Cho nodded.

"It's still thin," Lisbon suggested.

"What's his background?" Jane asked.

Lisbon was already ahead, bringing up Agent Jeff Forster's staff profile. "Thirty five, single, worked in Sac PD before joining CBI four years ago. Assigned to Organized Crime first and moved to Narcotics a year ago. I don't really know him to be honest, just in passing. Cho, how about you?"

"Goes to same gym as Rigsby and me. Tough background. Single mother, dad left when he was a kid. Quiet type."

"Possible for Red John to manipulate him somehow?" Lisbon asked.

"Don't know. Anything's possible."

"Let's go talk to him and find out," Jane suggested. "You got an address?"

"It's four in the morning," Cho reminded them.

"So?" Lisbon said, taking a note of Forster's address and getting up from her chair.

* * *

They arrived at his apartment complex and took the stairs to his place on the fourth floor. Chipped painted beige walls and a creaky iron staircase highlighted the less than salubrious surroundings Agent Forster lived in. Smells of fried food permeated the air and Jane grimaced as he stepped over an empty beer can on a landing. "I know civil service pay is atrociously bad but surely it's not this bad," he said with a shake of his head.

"He should be able to afford better than this," Cho replied.

"He has no dependents so where's his money's going? What about his mother?" Lisbon asked.

"Died a few years back."

"Well something doesn't add up," she muttered, climbing another step.

* * *

They made it to his door and knocked. When silence greeted them they knocked again. "Pick the lock," she ordered Jane after a few seconds.

Jane tilted his head to the side with a smile as he took out his lockpick set. "Like I said earlier, this police work is much easier with no paperwork."

"Just open it," she replied with a roll of her eyes.

He knelt down and after a few turns he heard the satisfactory click he was looking for. Standing up again Lisbon told him, "Stay here until we check it out."

He was relieved she and Cho were wearing bulletproof vests. He nodded, absolute seriousness in his voice as he locked eyes with her. "Be careful."

He saw a hint of a smile as she nodded, disappearing again as quickly as it had arrived. She opened the door slowly with Cho at her back, both with their weapons drawn in front of them.

* * *

Jane counted the seconds as he stood with his back against the wall beside the door to the apartment, his right hand fingers automatically seeking the reassuring cold metal of his wedding ring to twist. He smiled faintly, only remembering then he'd removed it earlier. It seemed an eternity had passed since then.

"Clear!" Lisbon called to him and he felt his heartbeat slow down at the word.

He entered the apartment and it was as ramshackle as he expected. A battered brown and yellow flowered upholstered couch lay in the middle of the dingy apartment, an old TV in front of it and hardly another stick of furniture in the room.

"Well if I wasn't already depressed enough tonight this would do the trick," Jane commented with an eye roll as he looked over the place. "There aren't many people I can give decorating tips to but I just found one, it appears."

"He's not here," Lisbon said with gritted teeth as she holstered her weapon.

"Guessed that as you or Cho would have had him in a head lock by now if he were," he replied calmly. "Or had two guns shoved in his face. You check his closet?"

They entered his bedroom and did so, finding most of his clothes missing, the remainder lying on the floor of his wardrobe. It appeared he'd packed in a hurry. "Damn it!" Lisbon seethed, taking a deep breath.

"Why aren't you surprised he's taken off?" Cho said to Jane.

"I'm not entirely. I was hoping he had. The fact he has run off is promising."

"How the hell do you figure that?" Lisbon asked in bemusement.

"Firstly, shows us that he was the one who tipped off Red John." He smirked at Cho, "So luckily no hypnosis for you, my friend." He looked at both of them, serious again. "But it also shows us he didn't know he was tipping off Red John."

Met by two confused faces he explained, "Look, he had an instruction to tell someone if Rigsby left the party. That much we know for sure. If he knew it was Red John and what he was planning he'd already either have made plans to leave or would be here feigning ignorance of the whole thing by now in case we came knocking. He left in a rush, hence no planning. As soon as he found out what happened to Van Pelt he took off."

Lisbon nodded slowly. "So he didn't know what Red John was going to do until he put two and two together afterwards. Okay, I can see that."

"And so likely he didn't know it was Red John asking him to keep him informed of Rigsby's whereabouts."

"But he must know him. Maybe not as Red John but as someone else. That's why he's running. Not from us...but from him," she replied.

Jane shrugged. "Well, probably both but he'll be more afraid of Red John than us. Forster's a loose end and nothing Red John hates more. So you see it's better he's not here. If he were...well...chances are..." Jane nodded at a bare wall in front of him.

"There would be a face there in his blood," Cho commented, looking at the same wall.

Lisbon nodded and took a deep breath. "Still doesn't help us though, does it?"

"If we can find him before Red John does then it might," Jane offered.

"Okay, I'll get a BOLO out on his vehicle-"

"There might be a quicker way of getting him to come in," Jane said. "Or of finding him, at least."

"How?" Cho asked.

"We need to get back to CBI and check something first," Jane replied.

* * *

Back in the bullpen again Lisbon shrugged off her jacket. "Okay, so out with it," she said to Jane, weariness in her voice.

He frowned, tapping his index finger against his lips. "Did you say Forster worked in Organized Crime when he joined CBI?" he asked Lisbon.

"Yeah, why?"

"Did Ray Haffner work there then?"

Lisbon creased her brow. "Ray? Uh..." She bent down and typed a few keys on the nearest computer, checking Haffner's profile quickly. "Yeah, he did. Let's see, Ray came from FBI's organized crime to ours. Was in charge of a team there when Forster was recruited. What has that got to do with anything?"

"Haffner went back to work there after-?"

"You got him removed from here to get Lisbon her job back, yeah," Cho cut in.

"But Haffner doesn't work at CBI anymore," Lisbon said.

"He doesn't?" Jane asked, surprised.

"No. He started up his own security firm about...I don't know...eight months ago."

"Really?"

"Yes," Lisbon replied, growing impatient, "what does Ray Haffner have to do with any of this, Jane?"

He shrugged, "Maybe nothing at all. But we should talk to him about Forster. He worked with him for three years after all. If Haffner was his first boss here it stands to reason he mentored him in some way, might be able to help us find him."

Cho replied bluntly, "If Haffner doesn't work for Red John. Or is Red John. In either case we're screwed."

"Well, of course, there are those possibilities too," Jane replied with an eye roll.

The sound of Cho's cell phone stopped any further conversation as all eyes focussed on him. "It's Rigsby," he said, hitting answer.


	38. Chapter 38

Chapter 38 - Uncertainty

Cho lowered his head as he answered the call, a line appearing between his eyes. A man of few words it was impossible for Jane or Lisbon to differentiate if the news was good or bad from the mostly monosyllabic one sided dialogue. Jane and Lisbon exchanged worried glances as he nodded and made indistinguishable grunts before he updated Rigsby on their progress. Finally he hung up and turned to them.

"She's made it through the surgery, they were able to stop the internal bleeding and it looks like no vital organs were hit."

Lisbon released a breath in relief but Jane narrowed his eyes at Cho, knowing there was more. "But?" he said.

"The head wound was worse than they initially thought. There's swelling on the brain."

Lisbon closed her eyes and grasped at her cross. "What are they doing about it?" she asked.

"They've put her in a medically induced coma for now, see if it subsides."

"And if it doesn't?"

"Then they look at operating."

"How long before they make that decision?" Jane asked.

Cho shrugged, "Specialist is coming to assess her later today."

Silence descended on the trio for a few moments as their thoughts turned to their colleague once again. To make it through a knife attack by Red John was improbably miraculous but if she only survived that to perish from a knock to the head somehow seemed crueller still.

"Come on," Jane said, in an attempt to rally his colleagues as Lisbon looked to her shoes. "This is good news. She made it through the surgery, that's more than half the battle."

Lisbon nodded one and raised her head. She sniffed and tried a smile. "You're right. We stay positive." It was a shame she couldn't put much vigour into it as tiredness overwhelmed her and had trouble believing the positive encouragement she was trying to instil in both herself and the others.

"We should call it a night," Jane said to both of them. "We're exhausted. Let's leave things to morning. Nothing much else we can do tonight. We should all get a couple of hours rest. We'll need our energy for tomorrow." He looked outside, black turning to grey as morning arrived. "Sorry, later today."

Lisbon replied, "I have to put that BOLO out for Forster-"

Jane interrupted, "Let's talk to Haffner first. If you put a BOLO out then anyone could pick him up, Lisbon."

"Like someone working for Red John," Cho nodded.

"Exactly."

"Okay," Lisbon agreed, "we'll see if Ray can shed any light on his whereabouts. But if he can't I'm going to have to report this to Wainwright and issue that BOLO, Jane."

"Fine," he begrudgingly agreed.

* * *

Cho had decided to stay at the CBI to dig deeper into Forster's background and finances, telling them he'd grab a shower there and grab a few hours rest on Jane's couch so Lisbon and Jane drove back to her condo alone. As he was at the wheel he watched her head fall to the side occasionally as her eyelids closed. Then within seconds she was upright again, blinking tiredness away.

"She'll be okay," he said to her as she yawned. "Grace is tough." He chanced a smile at her. "Just like her boss."

Lisbon sighed and smiled weakly in return. "Don't feel too tough right now, that's for sure."

"You just need some rest, we both do," he said as he turned into her driveway and killed the engine.

"You really think either one of us will be able to sleep?"

"We need to try get a couple of hours rest, Teresa. Need to be sharp when we talk to Haffner."

* * *

As they entered her condo Lisbon's eyes immediately focused on her black dress as it lay on the floor beside the couch, her coffee table wedged up against a chair beside it. Bile rose in her accompanied by those same feelings of shame and guilt she'd felt earlier when she'd thought about what she and Jane had been doing while Van Pelt was being attacked. She grabbed the piece of clothing quickly off the floor with a deep breath, averting her eyes from Jane's that she knew were watching every minuscule reaction she made.

"I'm going to take a shower and try to rest for a few hours," she said as she rushed towards the stairs.

Jane watched her practically take the steps two at a time to get away from him and sighed wearily. He removed his jacket and rolled up his shirt sleeves, quickly sweeping the room for bugs. He guessed correctly that Red John had caused enough drama for the night to bother with that activity. He threw the broken lamp into the trash and fixed up the area around the couch before settling himself on it. He heard her rustle about upstairs and the hot water switch off, barefooted footsteps on the floorboards above him as she presumably changed into a T shirt or football jersey.

He sat in silence, pondering what to do next.

* * *

Lisbon threw on a clean football jersey and sat on the edge of her bed. In the shower, she'd scrubbed her body ferociously to remove the scent of their lovemaking, the smell of his cologne from her skin. Now as she sat staring at the phone on the nightstand beside her a part of her wanted nothing more than to have it back again, to feel his arms around her, to escape the nightmare of the last few hours and drift into oblivion beside him. But a greater part of her felt guilty for wanting that, she didn't deserve to be comforted and loved while Grace couldn't have the same affection bestowed upon her. And even if she allowed herself that comfort what if it made her break down completely?

A gentle tap on her bedroom door came a few seconds later. "Come in," she croaked, clearing her throat, unsurprised Jane had come to check on her, more surprised he'd actually knocked first to do so.

He walked in, balancing two cups in his hands as he kicked the door closed behind him.

"Made us some tea," he said, sitting down beside her and handing her a cup. "Chamomile, naturally."

"Because tea's going to make everything better, is it?" she replied with a bark. "Sorry," she said a split second later as she took a deep breath. "This isn't your fault," she added quietly, warming her hands on the sides of the cup and turning her gaze to the ground.

"Nor is it yours," he replied softly as she watched her toes as she pushed them into the plush pile of her bedroom carpet.

"Don't start that crap again."

He resisted the urge to roll his eyes and took a large sip of his tea instead before settling it on the ground beside him. He went to place a hand on her back and felt her flinch at his touch as he expected he would.

"Don't do this," he said quietly.

Her eyes shot to his. "Do what?" she said accusingly.

"You know what. Push me away."

"I'm-I'm not."

He raised a sceptical eyebrow.

"I'm okay, Jane. It's just that I don't need you to console me. I'm not going to fall apart. You don't need to worry about me."

"Since when has worry been a need? It's a reaction, not something I can just not do, Lisbon. Anymore than you can stop worrying about me...or Grace."

She took a long breath and brought the cup to her lips, sipping the hot liquid. When she stopped she looked to her feet again. She whispered, "I know it's irrational. That one thing has nothing to do with the other but..."

Her voice trailed off as she swallowed.

"Every time I touch you you're reminded of what we were doing downstairs and what was happening to Grace at the same time," he finished for her.

She pursed her lips and nodded almost imperceptibly.

His tone turned conversational. "You know, it was Grace who talked some sense into me today. To finally acknowledge how I felt about you and not waste the second chance I'd been handed."

"It was?" she said, turning towards him, a touch of warmth lightening her strained expression.

"You know what else she told me? She told me that I shouldn't screw it up."

"Sounds like her," Lisbon smiled.

"She also told me not to let you screw it up either."

Lisbon's face fell slightly into something akin to irritation. "Jane, this is hardly the time to talk about whatever's going on with us in our personal lives."

"I'm not suggesting it is. But neither is it the time to take steps backwards in it either." He pinned a lock of hair behind her ear and circled her face with his eyes. "Please let me in, Teresa. Even if it's just so I have my foot in the door. Don't slam it in my face just when things are improving between us."

Tears threatened and she shook her head. "I don't mean to...I don't...I don't want to but...I have to. If I don't-"

"You think you'll fall apart?"

"I'm not sure, maybe."

He smiled gently at her. "Or you might gain some strength from it. How will you know if you don't try?"

"Tell me something, have you ever lost an argument in your life?" she said with some annoyance.

He shrugged as his smile grew. Her testiness was much more welcome than her reluctance to allow herself be comforted. He was accustomed to her hostility and knew how to handle that side to her personality; if anything it comforted him that her behaviour was returning to normal around him. He'd rather be yelled at than met with indifference any day of the week.

"None that I wish to recall."

She rolled her eyes and got off the bed, setting her cup on the nightstand. Jane sat on its edge, attempting to interpret her actions.

"Well if we're going to try to get some sleep we can't do it with you sitting there," she glared. "Get up."

He smiled and rose off the bed, sitting his cup on the other nightstand as she pulled back the covers before getting into bed. "I'll set my alarm for three hours," she said as she lifted her phone.

"If you don't mind I'll have a shower first," Jane said.

"There's a suit of yours in the closet, you left it here along with a couple of shirts and some underwear for some reason one time," she replied emotionlessly as she punched some keys on her phone.

Jane checked the closet, finding his suit dry cleaned and his shirts perfectly ironed. A smile crept up on his lips immediately at her rather thoughtful bout of domesticity.

"Don't say a word, if you know what's good for you," she glowered upon seeing his smirk, putting the phone down with a bang and turning off the light beside her before punching the pillow and turning on her side.

Jane nodded, touched again by her doing his laundry swiftly followed by a helping of shame for leaving her.

"I was leaving some stuff of my own in anyway," she said from below the covers, as if reading his mind. "It was no big deal."

He slipped under the covers in some clean boxer shorts after his shower, grateful of the warmth of the woman beside him. He moved closer and draped an arm around her waist, realising immediately she was still awake when he felt her pull away from him slightly.

"Haven't we talked about this?" he murmured, refusing to budge unless he was forced.

"I'm not pushing you away, okay? But I'm fine, I don't need be coddled."

"Who says this hug is for your benefit?" he replied, moving a little closer and pressing a kiss to the back of her head.

"You're a manipulative son of a bitch," she sighed. But a second later she placed her hand on the arm around her and pulled him closer to her back. He scooted over gratefully.

* * *

The smell of coffee was the first thing she was aware of after her phone alarm sounded three hours later. A freshly made cup sat steaming on her nightstand and she breathed in the aroma thankfully. A message from Wainwright lay waiting for her, no doubt looking to call a meeting to decide on next steps. The press, she was sure, were already picking up the scent of a Red John attack on a CBI employee. Images of Bosco and his team filled her head and she took a deep breath, shaking her head to rid herself of them and concentrating on the bitter taste of her favourite beverage instead.

Wainwright, and the press in the form of Brenda Shetrick, could wait for now.

She glanced at the empty side of the bed beside her and frowned, listening hard. After a second she heard Jane downstairs, clanking around in her kitchen. She smiled without thinking as her thoughts turned to him. She had called him manipulative by ensuring they spooned earlier but when she thought about it more clearly now she realised it wasn't all a manipulation to stop her pulling away from him. He was also Grace's friend and she was sure he'd needed that comfort too for a few hours.

* * *

"Morning," she said as she entered the kitchen after getting dressed in dark jeans and a black T shirt.

Jane turned from his cooking with a nod and a small smile. "Morning, feeling better?"

"Can't believe I slept," she admitted. "Did you at all?" She looked around the kitchen as pancakes, bacon and scrambled eggs littered it. "Looks like you've been up for a while."

"I slept enough," he said with a wave of his hand. "Now, sit down. Pancakes and bacon?"

"I'm-I'm not really hungry, Jane," she said with a shrug, fetching herself some more coffee instead.

He put a plate of food opposite his then fixed her with a steely gaze. "We're at war, Lisbon. You need to eat whether you feel like it or not."

"Fine," she said with a roll of her eyes.

Over breakfast she watched him clean up after he'd finished his plate, a line appearing now and then between his eyes as he did so. "What is it?" she asked as she brought her plate to the sink where he was washing dishes.

He made a point of checking her plate and nodded that she'd eaten sufficiently before he deposited it in the sink. "What do you mean?" he asked evenly, avoiding eye contact.

"There's something on your mind."

He turned towards her and shot her a disbelieving look. "And there's _not_ something on _your_ mind?" he said with a raised eyebrow.

"Something other than the obvious," she said with exasperation. "Something apart from what happened to Van Pelt last night."

When she saw him lick his lips nervously she began to panic. "Oh my god, is it Van Pelt? Did you hear some news-?"

"No," he assured her, shaking his head vehemently. He took a breath, "Sorry. Sit down, I was going to explain once I'd cleared up."

They took a seat at her table and Jane said, "Remember we were talking about acquiring more security for the wedding?"

Lisbon nodded, frowning slightly. "Yeah, but there's hardly going to be a wedding now, Jane. Even if she makes it..."

"I know," he said with a sigh. "But we need more nonetheless. Certainly at the hospital. Van Pelt survived a Red John attack. That's...unheard of."

"If she wakes up she might be able to identify him or his voice at least. I know, I've thought about that too."

"When she wakes up," he nodded to her.

"Right," Lisbon said with a small smile. "When. Okay, but we still have the same problem we did before. How can we be sure that the people we get won't be his people?"

"Well firstly we don't get them from Law Enforcement. We know he has major connections there so we stay away from it."

Her eyes widened slightly, "You're talking about private security consultants, something like that? Haffner's people? You want to ask him for his help? Is that where you're going with this?"

"No," Jane said with conviction. "I don't know if we can trust him and I'm suspicious how he was able to finance that new venture of his. It's one of the things I want to find out about when we go talk to him later."

"Then who?" Lisbon asked.

Jane shifted slightly in his chair. "Walter Mashburn," he said, taking a sip of tea to avoid her reaction.

Lisbon's eyebrows hit her forehead. "Walter?_ You_ want to ask Walter for his help?"

He sat back in the chair and shrugged. "I already have. Talked to him first thing."

Despite the grim circumstances they were in Lisbon's mouth twitched upwards. "I'm sure that was an interesting conversation. Just how much did he make you beg?"

"Let's say I owe him one," he replied with an eye roll.

The smile disappeared from her face. "But why him, Jane?"

"He's a rich man, has a whole raft of clients and businesses that require security. Not to mention his own with so many crazy ex girlfriends on his tail." Jane smirked, "No offence."

She rolled her eyes. "I still don't understand why you went to him."

"Three very good reasons. Firstly, he has the contacts we need to keep the people close to us safe. Private individuals less likely to be under Red John's influence. Secondly, he's not Red John which we've already established. Thirdly...we know him and...you trust him, right?"

She nodded, "Yeah, I do. I was under the impression, however, that you did not."

"I think we both know that had to do with more...personal reasons," he replied, obviously discomforted.

"Yeah, we do. So, he's agreed?"

"Of course. He's sent some people to watch the hospital and the agents on your team. I even got Wainwright a bodyguard," Jane said with an eye roll.

"Sounds expensive," Lisbon suggested.

"Meh, not like he can't afford it. And me owing him a favour would be worth it at any price to him."

"I'll need to call him, thank him."

"I'm sure he'd appreciate that," Jane said with as much politeness as he could muster, biting his tongue.

"Thank you, too. All joking aside I'm sure it wasn't an easy call to make. I know how much you hate asking for anyone's help."

"Some things are more important than my pride, Teresa. Like making as sure as we can that no one else we know dies."

She smiled softly and touched his hand then saw tenseness in his face. "Okay, what else?" She paused, narrowed her eyes at him. "You didn't make some agreement involving me that made Walter offer to help, did you?"

Jane chuckled, "Like what? He provides security for us and you marry him, something like that?"

"Well there's something you're not telling me," she said with a glower.

He took her hand in his and took a deep breath, his expression serious again. "You're right," he said softly. "But before I tell you it's just a precaution, okay?"

"Precaution?" she frowned. "For god's sake, what is it, Jane?"

"As well as sending some people to watch the team here I've also arranged for a couple of people to go to-"

"Chicago," Lisbon finished for him, catching a breath. "Oh god, I didn't even think, what if he comes after-"

"Calm down. Take a breath," he said steadily, clutching her hand. "Like I said, it's just a precaution. He already has a hell of a show going on in California, I don't imagine he'll want to miss a minute of it."

Lisbon's heart raced. "But he could just send someone else-"

"And if he does they'll be taken care of by Walter's people," he replied assuredly.

Lisbon's heart rate began to calm down slowly as she nodded. "I need to call my brothers and their families, make sure they take all precautions they can to stay safe."

"Probably wise."

She exhaled slowly. "When the hell is this ever going to stop?" she asked him. "I mean, how long do we do this for, Jane? We can't keep round the clock security going forever."

"Easy. We catch him before forever comes," he said with a small smile and a wink. He patted her hand and got off the chair, taking a cloth to wipe the counter down. Brightly, "So, ready to go see Haff-"

His words were cut off by the feeling of two small hands around his waist. "Thank you," she said behind his back softly. "For thinking about my family."

He turned in her arms and pecked the top of her head. "Well who knows, they might be my family one day too."

When faced with her flabbergasted expression he laughed softly. "Well, that got your mind off our current troubles for a few seconds there."

She laughed nervously in return.


	39. Chapter 39

**A/N: I have to thank all of those who take the time to post reviews for making this story hit such a major milestone in them. Cannot believe it quite honestly but I'm truly flattered and heartened that many of you are still enjoying this so many chapters in and that so many of you tell me so with such regularity. Your kind words and encouragement mean the world to me as I'm sure they do for all others still writing for this amazing fandom. Thank you again.  
**

* * *

Chapter 39 - Haffner

"So, what's your plan for Haffner?" Lisbon asked Jane as she drove them to his Security Firm's premises in downtown.

The sound of her cell phone ringing stopped his reply. She quickly ignored the call and glanced at him for a response.

"You will have to talk to Wainwright at some point, you know," he told her.

"And what am I supposed to tell him, huh? That we're following up on a lead but we don't trust him enough to tell him what that lead is?"

"Works for me," Jane shrugged with indifference.

She shot him a glare and gripped the steering wheel tighter. Turning back to her original question she asked again, "Haffner, what's your plan?"

"Plan?" he asked innocently.

"Don't start. I'm not in the mood, Jane. 'Fess up."

"You really do think the worst of me sometimes, Lisbon."

"Yeah, I wonder why," she replied with barely concealed hostility but a glimmer of a smile broke out on her lips straight afterwards.

He watched her shoulders relax a fraction, their to and fro banter allowing her some respite from the tenseness in her posture. He smiled, congratulating himself in accomplishing that, in response.

"Just the usual type of plan for these situations," he offered more conversationally.

"So you're going to poke him, see how he responds so you get a read off him and then follow up by asking about Forster so you discover if he's hiding something about where he is."

He turned in his seat towards her. "Am I really that predictable to you now?"

She grinned as she looked out the window in front of her.

* * *

Arriving at Haffner's office they exited the vehicle and stared at the modern structure in front of them that housed it. "Nice location," Jane murmured at her side as they walked towards it. It was a stone's throw from the Capitol where office space was at a premium.

Inside they were greeted by a twenty something assistant behind a desk in a waiting area called Faith who had cropped blonde hair and a beaming smile. Lisbon flashed her badge and introduced them. "We need to speak to Ray Haffner immediately."

"I'm sorry Agent Lisbon, he's busy currently," the assistant smiled. "I could make you an appointment for later in the day-"

"It's an urgent matter," Lisbon said determinedly, staring the younger woman down.

"Uh...okay...just a second," she replied, swallowing and picking up the phone to her left. Jane leaned in and said to her, "Better not mention my name to him, Faith, just Lisbon's."

Faith frowned at him but proceeded to make the call, omitting Jane's name.

Lisbon shot him a querying glance. "I'd like to surprise him," he smiled.

"You mean you want to unsettle him right from the offset," she muttered beside him.

"Same thing, isn't it?"

The door behind them opened a few seconds after Faith replaced the receiver on the phone on her desk. Ray Haffner strode purposefully from his office with a smile on his face until he caught sight of Jane standing beside Lisbon where it fell for a split second before he course corrected and planted it back on his face.

"Teresa! How good to see you," Haffner said before nodding to Jane. "And Patrick, I heard you were back in Sacramento."

"Oh, who from?" Jane replied with interest.

"Well just because I don't work at the CBI anymore doesn't mean I don't have contacts there, Patrick," he said smoothly. He turned to Lisbon. Gravely, "I heard about Van Pelt, how is she?"

"Critical," Lisbon replied with a sigh. Louder, "Ray, we need to ask you some questions-"

"How'd you afford this place?" Jane interrupted, waving his hand around the office space. "Pretty expensive location for a former government employee, isn't it?"

Haffner drew his head back with a short chuckle. "That's hardly relevant, is it? And frankly none of your business. Why do you ask?"

"Just being nosy," Jane smirked. "Thought you might have won the lottery or something."

"No," Haffner replied tersely.

Lisbon watched the exchange between the two men. When Jane narrowed his eyes at Haffner it was obvious to her he'd learned something from the other man already.

"Can we talk in your office?" Lisbon said to Haffner, nodding to the open door behind him.

"Why don't you two talk alone?" Jane suggested. "I'll wait out here."

"You sure?" Lisbon frowned at him, confused.

"Yeah," he smiled. He gestured to the kettle a few steps away. "Wouldn't mind a cup of tea. You know what to ask, Lisbon." His smile grew. "I'm sure Ray would rather talk to you alone anyway."

Haffner eyed him with suspicion then said to his assistant, "Don't show this man any files, Faith. No matter what he says to you."

"Yes, Mr Haffner," she replied, clearly uncomfortable with the tense atmosphere in the room and keeping her eyes averted from Jane's.

* * *

Ensconced in his office Haffner took up residence behind his desk, nodding for Lisbon to sit in the chair opposite. He sighed and shook his head. "I see Jane is still the pain in the ass he always was."

"Ray-" she began.

"Is it true?" he interjected, glancing at the closed door. "That you two..."

"That we two...?" she furrowed her brow.

"You and Jane. That you're together. A couple."

"Where'd you hear that?" she asked, her lips pursed.

"Like I said, I have contacts in the CBI," he shrugged.

"Didn't realise our love lives were that interesting a topic of conversation."

"Oh, come on, Teresa. You must have heard the rumours for years about you two. I'm just surprised it's out in the open all of a sudden, that's all. You're two of the most private individuals I've ever met."

"That's true. But there comes a time when you don't want to hide in the shadows any longer," she said with conviction. She had no idea if this man had any connection to Red John but she felt a shiver go up her spine at his line of questioning. It could just be idle curiosity from him but it may not have been. Now she wished Jane had come with her to get a better read.

"Well, if you ask me, you could do a hell of a lot better than that whack job," Haffner replied, moving some items on his desk before looking back up at her.

"I didn't ask for your advice on the matter," she replied with a touch of annoyance. She took a breath, calming herself down. "Ray, I need to ask you about Jeff Forster."

"Jeff? Wow, that's a name I haven't heard in a while. What about him?"

"Well-"

"Hang on, you think he had something to do with what happened to your agent?" he prodded.

"I can't say what case it's in relation to," she replied evenly.

He laughed. "Like there'd be any other case you'd be working on right now. What do you think he has to do with it? I heard it was Red John who attacked her."

"Have to say, for a man who left CBI months ago you're incredibly well informed," she remarked pointedly. "You know I can't tell you why I'm asking you about him, Ray. You don't work there anymore; you don't get the same privileges as when you did."

He leaned back in his chair and linked his hands across his stomach. "All right. What about him?"

"He's run off and we need to find him. Urgently. You know him-"

"I haven't spoken to him in probably more than a year, Teresa."

"But you knew him well before then. He worked for you, Ray. You mentored him when he first joined CBI. Tell me about him."

"Not a whole lot to tell. He reminded me a little of myself when I met him. Rough childhood, teenage years. You know what that's like. He turned it around to become an agent."

She ignored the personal comment but made a mental note to mention it to Jane. She'd never shared her personal history with Haffner but then again it wasn't exactly a secret within the CBI that she had an alcoholic for a father either. "He was loyal, trustworthy?"

"Never had any reason to believe otherwise."

"Did he ever mention somewhere he might go...someplace where he might feel safe?"

Haffner leaned forward again, placing his hands on his desk. A line appeared between his eyes. "What exactly has he done, Teresa?"

"We've had this conversation."

"Maybe I could help if I knew more," he argued.

"Ray, are you going to tell me anything or am I wasting my time?" she replied.

He shook his head and smiled at her. "You always were tenacious. Fine. Uh...there was one place he mentioned to me once. A playground near where he grew up. We drove past it when we were on a case about a year after he joined the team. He looked...affected...so I asked why and he told me that's where he went when things got tough at home." He paused and took a breath. "Okay?"

She nodded, "Yes, thanks. Can you write down the address for me?"

* * *

When they exited Haffner's office Jane was perched on Faith's desk with a cup of tea in his hands. Lisbon nodded imperceptibly to him that they had a lead to follow. He acknowledged it with a blink of his eyes before beaming a smile at Haffner. "Nice chat?"

"Thanks for your help, Ray," Lisbon cut in.

He ignored Jane and said to her, "Look, Teresa. Red John is targeting your people. We offer security solutions here-"

"Really, Ray?" Jane said as he rose from the desk and placed the cup down on it, "one of our colleagues is attacked and you use it as a business opportunity. Isn't that a little cold?"

"I was only trying to help," Haffner bit back. "But, of course, where Red John is concerned you never listen to any sense. You won't be happy until you drag the whole team into this revenge crusade of yours. If they manage to live that long."

"Let's go," Lisbon said, glowering at Jane when she saw him rush to stand opposite Haffner and shaking her head at him to stop him responding. He had confrontation written all over him.

"Yes, let's," Jane replied to her through gritted teeth, taking a breath.

As they reached the door Haffner spoke to Lisbon. "There's still an office here with your name on it if you ever decide to make the leap, Teresa." He glanced at Jane with a mixture of hostility and pomposity. "When you come to realise you owe yourself better prospects."

* * *

"He's such an ass," Jane said as they reached the car. "Why'd you never tell me he offered you a job?"

Lisbon unlocked the doors and they got inside. "You weren't here to tell."

"Oh," Jane said, biting the inside of his cheek upon that realisation. "Were you tempted? I'm sure he offered you more money than you're making now."

They fastened their seatbelts and began to drive towards the playground Haffner had told her about. She'd filled Jane in on their conversation on the elevator ride down. "It was a lot more money but not really," she shrugged. "You don't do this job because of the money."

"That's a fact," Jane chuckled when he thought of his meagre paycheck compared to the money he used to make in his psychic days. "Still, you weren't tempted? Easier, less dangerous work too," he persevered.

"What are you getting at, Jane?"

"Nothing, just don't know how you couldn't be tempted."

Her cell phone interrupted their conversation once again. This time she answered it.

"Hey, Cho, what's up?" After listening for a few seconds she said, "Hang on, let me put you on speaker so Jane can listen in." After switching on the loudspeaker and handing the phone to Jane to hold while she drove she added, "Okay, say that again."

Cho replied, "Forster's in debt. Gambling apparently. He likes the ponies by the sound of it."

"That explains why he's living the way he does," Lisbon answered.

"Hmm. Interesting," Jane commented.

Lisbon rolled her eyes. "Care to share why that is, Jane?"

"Obvious, isn't it? Money was the motivation for him sending that text. Or the promise of it, at least."

"Perhaps. Probably. So what does that matter?"

"Shows he didn't do it out of loyalty to Red John. Or at least not wholly out of loyalty. Makes it more promising if we track him down."

Lisbon nodded. "If you're right-"

"I am," Jane asserted earning him another eye roll from the woman beside him before she spoke again. "_If_ you're right then he might not be as fanatical as some of his other followers. More likely to roll over and tell us who he is."

"Exactly."

She quickly updated Cho on their progress with Haffner and arranged to meet him and a couple of other trusted agents at the location.

"Any news on Grace?" Lisbon asked but knowing Cho would have already informed her of any change in her condition.

"No," her second in charge responded. He added, "Boss, Wainwright's been looking for you. And Bertram and Shetrick were with him."

"Oh crap. What'd you tell them?"

"That you were getting some rest and then going to the hospital. Should buy you another hour or so. They're talking about releasing a press statement soon."

"What's it going to say?" Jane asked.

"Don't know yet. They're still discussing it."

"Okay, thanks, Cho," she sighed, "I'll see you at the location soon. Tell them you're going to the hospital if they ask you anything."

When Jane hung up Jane stared at her for a few moments, amusement written across his features.

"What?" she glared.

"I like this side to you. Rebellious, deceitful, that's all," he smiled.

"That says more about you than it does about me," she countered with a shake of her head.

* * *

They'd waited at the playground for ten minutes when Cho's party arrived. The two vehicles camped out at vantage points that gave a perfect view of gate of the entrance, Lisbon and Jane having already checked it thoroughly as soon as they'd arrived for Forster.

"We could be here a while," Lisbon said, tapping her hand on the steering wheel in impatience. "And he might not show up at all."

Jane stared at the gate ahead, his face set in a frown. A few seconds passed in silence. Then he asked, "Why'd you turn Haffner's job offer down?"

She furrowed her brow at him. "This again? What's this about, Jane?"

He didn't respond but looked expectantly at her instead for an answer to his original question.

She sighed and thought about it more deeply. It had been a hell of a job offer and a lot of agents would have taken it gladly. Jane had left CBI so she didn't have the pull of him being there to impact her decision. If anything, she could have done with a change in scene at the time Haffner had offered her a position in his firm, a chance of a new start away from the memories of Patrick Jane that she was reminded of every day within the walls of the CBI. So why had she instinctively said no to him?

Finally she answered him with the only reason that came to mind. "It didn't feel right. The job offer...felt...something was off about it."

"Because he's attracted to you or something else?"

She rolled her eyes. "I swear, you think every man I come in contact with lately has the hots for me."

"Well any smart man should," he smiled. "Haffner might be no genius but he's smart enough to realise that, certainly."

She had to concede that Haffner had approached her in the past for coffee dates or dinner. She'd waved him off and discouraged him immediately. But she was certain the job offer was a genuine one in appreciation of her skills as an agent and not in relation to any latent romantic notion he had of pursuing her. He was more of a pragmatist than that.

"Something else," she murmured. "But I can't put my finger on it."

"Hmm. Interesting," he said as he frowned in contemplation.

"I hate it when you say that," she glowered. "What's on your mind, Jane?"

He bit the inside of his cheek for a moment and then let go of a long breath. "I discovered where he got the money to open his security firm."

"How?"

He looked both apologetic and proud. Before he could respond she said, "Oh god, you hypnotised his assistant, didn't you? That's why you left me to question him on my own."

He dazzled her with a triumphant smile. "She was such as open test subject it would have been negligent not to, Lisbon. A travesty not to take advantage."

She shot him a look of disapproval although a hint of a smile played on her lips. "So, where'd he get the money? Although why that matters is still lost on me."

"It won't be when I tell you," he replied with absolute seriousness. "And why I think you turned his job offer down. I've always said you had good people instincts."

She leaned in and nodded for him to continue.

"Visualize," he stated.


	40. Chapter 40

Chapter 40 - Surprised

"Visualize?" Lisbon repeated, gaping. "Crap, then he must be a member for them to finance him."

"Undoubtedly. They're hardly likely to invest in someone who isn't part of their cult. A longstanding one too, I imagine, if they're willing to trust him enough with their money."

Lisbon nodded thoughtfully. "I had no idea. Then he must know Bret Stiles personally. You've heard nothing from him?"

"You think I wouldn't tell you if I had?"

Lisbon looked sceptical for a moment then sighed, "Yeah, I know you would have," she said quietly. "I asked Haffner about Forster...what if he's involved in this whole thing too, Jane? How do we know we can rely on the information he gave me?"

Jane shrugged and stared at the entrance to the playground. "We don't know we can. Do _you_ think he was telling you the truth?"

She contemplated his question in light of the new information she'd just received. Despite there being suspicion over Haffner's entire line of questioning and his general demeanour her gut told her he'd spoken the truth about Forster's possible whereabouts at the very least.

Jane, reading her microexpressions, informed her of her opinion before she could voice it herself. "Just because he told you the truth about where Forster might go doesn't mean there isn't more to the man, Lisbon. Him telling us this could be a ruse in itself."

She nibbled on her bottom lip and nodded curtly. "Visualize is coming into this more and more, Jane. They have to be involved somehow. If only we could get Stiles to talk. Maybe we should just go there and -"

"Not yet. I don't want to tip them off that we suspect them. Haffner's assistant is none the wiser I got that information from her. And Stiles doesn't know I found that letter signed by him previously."

"Unless Stiles planted it there himself for some unknown reason or just to play with you."

"Yeah," Jane agreed, drawing the word out slowly with a long sigh. "We need to find a way for Stiles to talk to us even if he doesn't want to. He's key to all of this, I'm sure of it. But we'll need some leverage on him before we're likely to get any kind of truth out of him. If we talk to him without it then he could send us down a hundred different rabbit holes."

"FBI have investigated him for years and they haven't been able to pin a thing on him."

"Hmm. Then we need to find a more creative means for him to open up."

"Like what?" she asked, suspicion in her tone.

He smiled at her, "Thought you didn't care about what laws you break anymore?"

"Within reason, Jane. And I'd like to know which of them I'm breaking before I actually do."

He laughed softly. "You can take the cop out of Lisbon but you can't take the Lisbon out of the cop." His smile faded and he shook his head with a sigh. "Actually, I don't have any such plan as yet but I'll work on one. And then you can recite to me all the laws we'll break in following it through."

Her cell phone buzzed again and she rolled her eyes when she saw Wainwright's number flash up. "I'm going to have to go in and speak to the brass." She glanced over at Cho's vehicle. "I'll get him to switch vehicles and keep you company. I'll take his SUV back to the CBI. That should give you plenty of quiet thinking time to ponder over a plan," she smirked.

"Okay," he said, "I'll fill him in about Stiles and Visualize. He knows we're keeping stuff from him, it's time we told him what we know."

"Agreed."

"What are you going to say to Wainwright?"

"Hell if I know," she uttered with a roll of her eyes. As she went to exit the vehicle he touched her arm. Softly, "Be careful on your way there." It was the first time they'd split up since Grace had been attacked and the thought of her going anywhere alone made his heart hammer in his chest.

Seeing the concern written across his face she replied gently, "I'll be fine." She turned her tone bossy, "You think about plans to end this."

"And what happens after that?" he asked, the words out of his mouth before he could stop them.

Panic crossed her features and she swallowed. Finally she said, "Then we live our lives." She was out of the door beside her in the next second.

"But apart or together?" he asked the empty space beside him.

* * *

Lisbon exited the CBI elevator and went straight to Wainwright's office. Seated inside were Wainwright and Brenda Shetrick as she tapped on the glass of the door.

"Lisbon, I've been trying to get hold of you," her boss told her as soon as he waved her in.

"Yeah, sorry, been a rough night. And morning."

"I'm sure," he said with more sympathy. "Any news on Grace's condition?"

"Not that I've heard."

He blinked, "I thought you were just at the hospital."

She took a deep breath. "No. I was investigating her attack."

Wainwright leaned back in his chair and studied her. "Agent Cho said-"

"I told him to tell you that."

Shetrick, enjoying the titillating gossip between the two, glanced from one to the other.

"Brenda, can you give us a minute?" Wainwright said to her, nodding to the door when he noticed her latching onto the discussion, her ears practically pricked up with inquisitiveness.

She stammered, "Agent Wainwright, I need to release a press statement-"

"Give me a minute," he reiterated more forcibly.

"Fine," she huffed, getting out of the chair opposite him. "But reporters have picked up on this story and-"

"Right now I'm more concerned with the young woman who's been attacked than any story the press want to make of it," he said to her, clearly irritated.

A smile ghosted over Lisbon's lips. She had never had much respect for the man but he'd just raised himself up a little in her estimation by that last comment.

Shetrick flounced out and Lisbon nodded politely to her on the way out, a glimmer of a victorious smile on her lips.

"Sit down, Lisbon," Wainwright sighed, leaning back in his chair.

After she did he asked her, "I'm aware you and Jane are running some kind of undercover mission in all of this. I may be young but I'm not entirely naive, Agent."

"So then why did you ask me if I was at the hospital if you know I wasn't?"

"To see if you'd lie to me about it, why else?"

"And the fact I didn't?"

"Well I'm hoping it means you're here to tell me what's really been going on."

"You've had us trailed so I'm guessing you know more than you're letting on too," she retorted.

"Not trailing, Lisbon. They're called a security detail."

"In any case you know where we've been."

"Hmm. You slipped them until they picked you up this morning again at your place. And then they lost you again until Agent Cho and his detail arrived at a playground where you met up with him before switching vehicles. So, you see, I'm none the wiser as to what's going on."

"We slipped them? Jane was probably driving, he always drives too fast-"

"Lisbon, you've worked with me for some time now. I'm not a fool and you know it. That glibness I expect from Jane but not from you. Now, are you going to tell me what the hell's been going on or am I going to have to suspend you?"

She rested her back against the chair. "I'm not ready to tell you everything yet. There is certain information I'm not willing to share."

He furrowed his brow. "In case you've forgotten I'm your supervising agent-"

"I know who you are. But I don't know the_ man_ you are. Not yet. I'm not willing to risk another person getting hurt because I trusted someone I shouldn't have. If you want to suspend me then that's your call."

He looked out to the window to his side and shook his head as his shoulders slouched. "Sounds like Jane has rubbed off on you. Why do you both see enemies everywhere you look?" he asked her quietly.

"Because a friend of mine is currently fighting for her life in hospital right now. Because there _are_ enemies everywhere." Tears pricked at her eyes so she took a deep breath to stop them from flowing.

"I'm not one of them," he said, turning towards her again and looking unwaveringly into her eyes.

"I hope you're not but my answer still stands," she said with equal determination.

"You don't leave me with a lot of options, you know. I'll have to suspend you from duty for gross insubordination."

"I understand," she murmured, making to remove her badge and gun from her belt.

"I haven't finished," he said, stilling her movements. "I'll have to suspend you from duty for gross insubordination in thirty six hours if you don't inform me of your progress before then."

"O-kay," she stammered, the man surprising her again within minutes. "Can I ask you why?"

"Two reasons," he shrugged. "One, I hope it builds some trust between us and that in a couple of days you won't be just as paranoid about whatever you think my intentions are, one of your agents has been attacked so you're clearly not thinking with your best judgment. And two...and more importantly...you and Jane are the best investigators I've got. And you have even more of a vested interest in getting to the bottom of this and stopping this bastard now. If you're following a lead to that effect then I'd be a fool not to take advantage of that. Just be careful where you tread and who you tread on. And that you don't cross lines you can't come back from. And I mean both of you."

She nodded, his last statement unsettling to hear but she pushed it to the back of her mind. She was also aware there was a third reason he hadn't mentioned - that if they stopped Red John on his watch it would be a feather in his cap and a likely promotion – but she was satisfied nonetheless that he'd given them more time to continue without further interference. For now.

"What are you going to tell Shetrick to tell the press?" she asked him.

"Oh the usual I expect. We're looking at a number of leads...our best people are on it...please pray for our colleague and give her family privacy at this time...yada yada...you know the drill."

She nodded and sighed. "I forgot to ask, I take it forensics didn't turn up anything in the alley behind her apartment?"

"Not a thing so I'm counting on whatever plan you and Jane are working on to pan out."

She rolled her eyes. "So no pressure then." She added, "What about Bertram, won't he be on your back?"

"He already is."

"And you've told him?"

"Not your concern, Agent Lisbon."

"Okay," she said, realising she'd crossed some kind managerial line. "Thank you."

* * *

On her way back downstairs she called Jane and filled him in as she took the back stairs to her vehicle.

"Well that's surprising," he said on the other end of the line. "Sounds like our younger colleague is finally growing into a man. Who knew, eh?"

"Jane," she admonished with a chuckle.

"You coming back to the park? Cho and I could use a sandwich."

"Yeah, but I want to stop at the hospital first."

Gently, "Teresa, are you sure?-"

"Even if he yells me at me again I need to check on him, Jane, see how he's doing. See how she's doing."

"Fair enough. Just remember if he is still mad-"

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Don't take it to heart. Okay, Dr Phil."

Chuckling, "Bottles of water too when you bring the sandwiches, please."

"All right, see you soon."

She hung up the call and clicked the car doors open. She got in the driver's seat and fastened her seatbelt. Suddenly a gun was pointed to her head from a figure on the back seat. She stopped moving immediately and looked in the rearview mirror. The figure moved forward out of the shadows so she could see his face.

"Jeff Forster," she said, her tone infinitely more even than her heart rate. "I've been looking for you."

"I know. Let's take a drive, Agent Lisbon," he replied.


	41. Chapter 41

Chapter 41 – Cognition

Lisbon's hands gripped the steering wheel as she watched him through the rear view mirror. She turned her cadence soft and non-threatening as she read his face and turned her mind away from the Glock pressed into the back of her head. Still her voice was a little shaky as she spoke.

"Jeff, put the gun down first. If I drive with that pressed into my skull a speed bump could set it off. She paused then told him softly, "You don't want that."

She read his reaction, saw him swallow accordingly allowing her to take a breath. He didn't want to kill her, of that she was certain. Though he was unshaven and sleep deprived by the heavy stubble and the dilation of his eyes. And he was definitely scared. Even if he didn't want to harm her, all that only added up to making his actions unpredictable.

"If I didn't have this gun to your head you'd arrest me and I..." he licked his lips as he took a gulp of air while his eyes shot up to the CBI building in front of them, "and I can't have that," he said with determination. "Now drive us out of here, Agent Lisbon. And not a word to the Security Guard on your way out."

"Okay," she said before taking another breath and starting the engine.

* * *

She'd done exactly as she was told and a few minutes later she was clear of Headquarters and driving east from it. Forster sat in the backseat, his gun pressed into her side as she drove. "So, where are we going?" she said in as conversational a tone as she could muster. "There's a turnoff up ahead. Stay in this lane or take it?"

The sound of her cell phone made him press the gun deeper into her waist. "Don't answer that," he told her.

"It's probably my partner," she said. "If I don't take it he'll be suspicious. Believe me you don't want that."

Ignoring her he answered instead, "Turn off at next exit, we need to find somewhere to talk. And lose the security detail you have following you first."

* * *

"She's not answering," Jane said, furrowing his brow.

"Probably driving," Cho replied at his side. "Just eat what she brings you, don't be so fussy."

"Hmm, probably." A sense of unease washed over him. Telling himself he was being paranoid he added in a more jovial tone, "You're one to talk, having a conniption every time there's pineapple on a pizza."

Cho's lips upturned slightly. "Fruit on a pizza is wrong. Plain and simple."

Jane smiled faintly then sighed, his finger hovering over her name again while he bit his lip.

"She's fine," Cho said.

* * *

Following Forster's orders Lisbon parked up at a fast food parking lot. "Why here?" she asked him.

"Because I'm confident you won't shoot me here," he replied, nodding to the young families walking to and from their vehicles all around them. "Too much chance of someone innocent getting hurt."

"Who says I want to shoot you at all?" she said evenly. "You're the one with the gun, Jeff. You're in charge of what happens next, not me."

"You blame me for what happened to your Agent."

Lisbon breathed out, removed the hostility she felt for him from her voice, "Red John attacked my Agent, not you, Jeff. Her name is Grace, you must know her if you were at Wayne's bachelor party. She's a beautiful girl, inside and out."

"Stop it," he said through a ragged breath. "I'm a trained Agent, Lisbon. I know all about the psychological mumbo jumbo. If I let go of this gun then you'll either kill me or arrest me."

Her patience exhausted she snapped. "You were the one who sought me out, Jeff. Now either tell me what you want or let me go. What is it, a message from Red John? You here to tell me how clever he was?!"

He blinked quickly. "What? No! Of course not!"

She turned in her seat suddenly to face him, surprising him and making him press his weapon into her stomach. Openly hostile she shot him a withering look. "You were right earlier. I do want to kill you. I want to rip your head off for what happened to Grace. What _you_ allowed to happen. So what the hell do you want with me? There's only one way to make up for some of that and that's for you to tell me who Red John is."

He stared into her eyes and shook his head. "I...I didn't know that was going to happen to her...honestly I didn't."

"Even if that were true, and I don't know if it is, you knew _something_ terrible was going to happen as a result of that text, don't take me for a fool and tell me you didn't."

As tears pricked at his eyes she took the opportunity while he was emotionally distracted to draw her weapon on him that she'd surreptitiously unholstered as she'd driven. "Tears won't help you, Jeff. But the name might or so help me god I'll end you right now."

He stared at the weapon as it faced his heart before looking her in her eye and saw her determination. After a moment he slowly put his gun down on the seat beside him and shook his head as a few more tears escaped, his shoulders slumped like the defeated man he was. Quietly, "Then you better pull the trigger, Agent Lisbon. Because I don't know his name."

* * *

Alicia Van Pelt had the same striking red hair and statuesque figure as her daughter, although her tresses had darkened to mahogany as the years had passed. Currently they were tied up in a loose chignon as she stood at the coffee machine in the hospital. Her husband Amos stood a couple of inches taller and wider than Rigsby with short salt and pepper hair and was pacing back and forth up and down the corridor beside her as he talked on his cell phone.

With a weary expression Alicia fed dollars into the machine until three insipid beverages were dispensed. As Amos came off the phone he took one off her as she balanced the other two in her hands.

He smiled softly at his wife and nodded, "That's the last of it. Everything's been cancelled for Saturday. Wedding is officially off."

"Thanks, sweetheart," she sighed. "You okay?"

He nodded furiously. "Of course."

He stole a glance at Rigsby in the waiting room as they walked back towards him who was sitting on a chair there, his legs shaking as he rocked manically on his toes, the frustration of waiting for news almost severing his last nerve.

"Hey, you don't have to act all strong for me," she admonished him gently. "I'm not one of the football players you coached, Amos."

He shrugged as a small smile crept up on his lips as his wife called him out as she usually did. He sighed, "What am I supposed to say, honey? Our daughter..." He looked away as he took a deep breath, never wanting to appear weak in front of her. "We already lost one of our girls...what if we lose the other one too?"

Tears pricked at her eyes and she took a breath of her own. "I don't know," she admitted. "But I'm not willing to go there yet."

She nodded to Rigsby, "I also know one person right now who could use one of your half time speeches so get to it, Coach."

Her bossy tone made him smile. "So now I've taken care of the wedding arrangements you've found another way of keeping me busy, huh?"

"If it helps keep those negative thoughts away then yes."

* * *

"Can you track her phone?" Jane asked Cho as a second call to Lisbon went unanswered.

"Not from here," Cho supplied as he kept his eyes trained on the playground entrance.

"Something's wrong."

Cho turned his head towards him and said nothing for a second. The worry in Jane's expression then made him say, "Let me call her security detail."

A brief call to them later Jane spoke before Cho had to. "She lost them." He tapped his hand on his thigh. "Damn it, why would she do that? Some security detail if they're that easy to lose." A call to his phone made him stop his tirade. He rolled his eyes with a sigh as he answered it. "Lisbon, thank god, where the hell-"

He stopped talking and listened as she interrupted him. Finally he said, "And where are you now? Okay, Cho and I will be right there. Don't let him out of your sight."

* * *

"I'm sorry," Rigsby said to Alicia and Amos Van Pelt as she handed him a coffee. "This is all my fault," he added as he hung his head.

"Talking like that isn't helping her, Wayne," Amos said as he sat down beside him. "Right now do I wish she'd chosen a different profession? You bet ya. But you know Grace, stubborn and pigheaded as a mule. She wouldn't be swayed from being a cop no matter how much I tried to get her to choose something safer."

Rigsby smiled faintly and a laugh escaped him. "Her stubbornness is one of the things I love most about her."

"Just as well," the other man said, "because you'll have years more of that ahead of you."

"God, I hope so," Rigsby said through a ragged breath.

"And that same stubbornness is going to get her through this," her mother said with conviction. "You think she's going to let this setback stop her from achieving everything she wants in life? And you're a lucky man that she wants that future with you."

Rigsby smiled up at the woman who would be his mother in law one day, the strength in her expression reminding him of her daughter's. He got up from the seat and took a breath as he hugged her. "Thank you Alicia, you're right. No more pity parties, I promise."

Amos Van Pelt got to his feet and tapped Rigsby on the shoulder as he saw a specialist approach them.

* * *

Jane and Cho arrived at a No tell Motel on the outskirts of Sacramento where Lisbon and Forster were holed up. A curtain twitched inside and they approached the chipped painted blue door. Lisbon opened the door and Jane threw her a relieved glance as he and Cho were ushered inside.

Forster sat on the bed, handcuffed to the slated wooden headboard while Lisbon tucked her Glock back into the back of her jeans. Jane said nothing as he regarded the man while he threw his jacket onto the back of a chair and rolled up his shirtsleeves. Forster shot furtive glances to Lisbon and Cho who were both looking at him like he was a cockroach.

Jane stared at him for a long moment and Forster opened his mouth to talk. "No," Jane commanded him. "We'll tell you when we're ready to listen to what you have to say."

He turned his back to him and took a breath as he looked at Lisbon and Cho with his hands on his hips. "So, what's his story?" he asked her.

"Like I said on the phone, says he didn't know it was Red John when he sent that text. Told me he was in debt and some loansharks were after him. He was told his debts would be clear if he just sent that text."

"Hmm. You believe him?"

She rolled her eyes. "I don't know what the hell to believe anymore. That's why you're here."

He nodded. "Right. How'd he find you?"

"What?" she frowned. "I don't know. He was at the CBI, guess he was waiting for me to show up."

"How'd he even know we were looking for him?"

Her frown grew before she nodded in acknowledgement. "Haffner told him obviously."

"Good old Ray," Jane said with an eye roll of his own.

"He did us a favour, Jane."

"Having a man holding you at gunpoint is not exactly a favour in my book, Lisbon," Jane bit back.

Before she could respond Jane swung round to face Forster. "Why didn't you just show up at the playground? Why go to the CBI instead?"

Forster stuttered, "Because...because I didn't know who was going to be there at the park. Who you were bringing with you there. So...so I wanted to talk to Agent Lisbon on my own terms. Let her hear me out before I had a bullet in me. I had no idea-"

"You know who I am?" Jane asked, interrupting him, taking a step closer.

"Of course, you're Patrick Jane...the whole CBI knows about you."

Jane studied the other man, his gaze penetrating as he said the next words slowly and menacingly. "Good. Then you know there's no point in lying to me, Jeff."

"Okay," Forster said, clearing his throat as Jane's blue green eyes pierced his brown ones.

"You say you didn't know who it was who told you to tell them when Rigsby left that party. Why would you do that for some stranger? Even if they told you your debts would be clear, why would you believe that to be true?"

"I-"

"Not one lie or I'll allow my two friends here to go to town on you. Cho here looks like he wouldn't need much of an excuse. Lisbon is only just holding back herself. Even I'm finding it difficult not to wrap my hands around your throat right now for what happened to our friend."

"Okay," Forster admitted with a nod. "It...It wasn't entirely a stranger who asked. But I still don't know who it was."

Cho came up beside Jane. "Stop talking in riddles and tell us the truth."

Forster looked from one man to the other and took a deep breath. "Promise you'll keep me safe if I tell you everything."

"No," Cho said. "But you might live if you do. Best you're going to get."

"Tell us," Lisbon said as she stood beside her two colleagues. "Or I'll perp walk you into the CBI right now and hand you over to Bertram myself. They need a lead, why not let it be you?"

"And you might have resisted arrest before then," Cho said with a straight face.

"Happens," Lisbon nodded with a smirk at the implied threat of bodily harm.

"All right," Forster nodded. "All right." He took a deep breath and began talking. "There's a secret organisation of cops and other law enforcement individuals called The Blake Association. I don't know how far its reach is..."

* * *

"Doctor Jenner," Amos Van Pelt said to the man around his age who had approached them. Rigsby swallowed, unable to talk, his heart lodged in his throat.

The doctor gestured for the three of them to take their seats around a coffee table and took one opposite. "Okay, we've checked the swelling on Grace's brain and I'm pleased to say that it has decreased."

"Oh, thank god!" Alicia exclaimed, grasping her husband's hand.

"Wait," the doctor said. "While that is very good news your daughter still has a way to go, Mrs Van Pelt."

"What do you mean?" Rigsby asked him.

"Well we're going to bring her out of the coma gradually over the next few hours and then we'll assess her again."

"But the swelling was what you were worried about, if that's gone down then-"

"She had a severe blow to the head, Agent Rigsby. We haven't been able to assess her cognitive brain function yet. When she's conscious we'll be able to do that and assess any damage that blow may have caused her."

"Like what?" Van Pelt's father asked.

"Any number of issues. Speech, memory loss, perception, ability to concentrate, motor skills and so on." As he saw three worried faces looking at him he softened his clinical tone. "Look, this is good news. But she's not out of the woods yet is all I'm saying. Might be an uphill battle and some...well some issues, depending on what they are, may be permanent. We'll know more in a few hours." His pager went off and he quickly got off the seat. "Sorry, have to take this. Any questions?"

"Can we see her?" her mother asked.

He nodded curtly. "Of course."

* * *

"What do you think?" Lisbon said as she, Jane and Cho regrouped outside the motel room door after listening to Forster's confession on the corruption that had infiltrated California Law Enforcement.

"Tyger, Tyger," Cho said with a shake of his head. "That's their greeting?"

"And their warning," Lisbon said as she puffed out a breath. She ran a hand down her face. "Jesus, we knew we weren't sure who to trust already and now we find out..." She shook her head.

"Three dot tattoo, should be easy to track them down with that at least," Cho said.

Lisbon glanced at Jane who was standing against the wall beside the door with his hands in his pockets and staring ahead. He had said nothing while Forster had opened up and still hadn't uttered a word.

"Jane, thoughts?" she pressed.

He shrugged without looking at her. Despondently, "Knowing about this doesn't help us catch Red John. We just know he must be part of it. We don't know what role he plays in it. If anything it makes it harder to find him with that kind of power around him."

"So what do we do with Forster?" Cho asked.

Jane shrugged again, "Whatever the hell you like as far as I'm concerned. Beat him up, turn him in, whatever. He's no use to us. He's just a cog in the wheel."

Lisbon sighed before she shook her head. Then she smiled thinly at them both. "Hang on. There's still a way we can use him. It might not get us to Red John but it'll get us closer."

"Oh?" Jane said as he looked at her, furrowing his brow.

"You have a plan to get Stiles talking yet?" she asked him.

"No, not yet."

Her smile grew into something altogether more self satisfied. "Well I do."

His face suddenly lit up with admiration for the woman opposite him. "Then don't keep us waiting in suspense. Do tell, Agent Lisbon," he grinned.


	42. Chapter 42

Chapter 42 – Preparations &amp; Positivity

The door to the motel room opened and Lisbon strode in, followed quickly by Cho and Jane. Forster glanced at each of them in turn with varying degrees of worry. While Cho remained impassive in his expression Lisbon's lips curled slightly at the edges, signifying a course of action had been decided upon. Jane's expression mirrored Cho's mostly apart from it being a little more proud and self satisfied.

"You're going to help us," Lisbon told the man on the bed. Without waiting on a response she added, "You're going to sign a statement that Bret Stiles was the one who told you to send that text."

Forster frowned and looked at the other two men in the room.

Jane smirked, "Well we now know at least that Jeff here hasn't been indoctrinated into the cult like his buddy Ray. He has no idea who Stiles is, Lisbon."

Her opening gambit had been discussed and decided upon when they'd talked outside. They wanted to discover if Forster was a Visualize member and this seemed the easiest way of making certain.

"I've heard of him," Forster said with a note of panic in his voice. "Visualize, right?"

"Ah, so you do know him, then?" Jane said as he walked over to him.

Forster shook his head rapidly. "No...Ray...well he mentioned it to me a couple of times...Visualize, I mean...thought it might help me but...no...I never joined."

"Well I'd say that was a smart choice if I didn't already despise you," Jane smiled.

Forster turned to Lisbon again. "I don't understand. Why would I do that? I don't even know Stiles. If I do that I'll have Visualize after me as well as Red John."

"Never mind why. But if you do I give you my word you'll be protected. We'll put you somewhere they can't find you."

He pondered her statement then shook his head vehemently. "No. No way."

"You say that like you have a choice," Cho said, crossing his arms across his chest. "If you don't do this you're dead because we'll fabricate the statement anyway."

His eyes widened. "You...you can't do that! You're cops!"

Lisbon's eyes darkened as she fixed her eyes on him. "No? Watch us."

Jane smiled thinly at her at her badass best and licked his lips, getting a little hot under the collar at the display of determination. He cleared his throat. "It's your choice, Jeff. Tucked up somewhere you're safe or have the CBI, Visualize and Red John all after you. Hardly a choice at all, is it?"

"I came to you because Ray said you'd keep me safe," Forster explained to Lisbon. "He said you were a by the books agent and that I could trust you-"

"Well he was wrong," she smiled. "At least in this case he was. But we'll keep you safe against my better judgement so maybe not entirely."

"This statement will never hold up in court," Forster said to her. "If they can't find me you'll never be able to prosecute Stiles for whatever your problem is with him."

"We know that," Cho said.

Forster frowned, "Then why-"

"Enough talking," Lisbon said. She pulled a laptop from her briefcase. "Start writing. We'll use the printer here when you're finished. Just type what we tell you and then you can sign it."

As Forster was giving his false statement to Cho, Jane caught up with Lisbon outside the room where she'd escaped to grab some air.

"You were great in there," he smiled as they leaned against her SUV drinking water.

"Yeah, a real masterclass in how not to be a cop," she sighed, taking a large gulp.

"Second thoughts?"

She shook her head. "No. This will give us Stiles. Or at least a warrant to bring him in to question him. I just hope he's in the country and takes the bait."

"He will," Jane said. "He'll know it's a bluff, of course, but won't want his name associated with the attempted murder of a CBI agent. Or the implication that he's Red John. Bad for business."

"Yeah," she nodded.

"I was worried earlier when I couldn't get in touch with you," he said quietly as he looked at his shoes.

"Forster got the jump on me. I was just lucky I was able to turn the tables on him."

"More skill than luck but you need to be more careful when going anywhere alone, Teresa."

She glanced up at him at the use of her first name. "Jane, we know the risks. They've always been there."

"And even more so now," he sighed.

* * *

Rigsby pushed a strand of red hair from Van Pelt's cheek and ran his fingertips down it. Her parents had gone to the cafeteria to get something to eat to give him some time alone with her.

"Hey," he whispered. "Now I know you enjoy your sleep but now it's time to wake up, sleeping beauty," he added with a pained smile.

He looked at her in the hospital bed, her skin almost translucent from loss of blood and her body battered and bruised. He took her hand with a deep sigh and tears ran down his face, droplets falling on their hands entwined. "Please wake up, Grace. I can't..." he took a deep breath and sniffed. "I can't live without you. You know that. I'll be eating burritos for breakfast and be the size of La Roche in no time," he laughed through his tears. "You have to wake up, baby. You have to wake up and tell me you love me and the rest we'll figure out."

He waited, hoping for a miracle like in the movies where she'd wake up at the sound of his heartfelt words. But she continued to lie there still in front of him, only the sound of the monitor beside him beeping to break up the silence in the room.

* * *

"That's it?" Lisbon said to Cho when he handed her Forster's statement.

"Yeah, it says Stiles was blackmailing him over his gambling debts."

She looked questionably at Jane. "It's a little farfetched, isn't it? That the leader of Visualize would blackmail a lowly CBI agent over something like this?"

Jane shrugged. "People believe what they want to believe, Lisbon. And the FBI have wanted something on Stiles for years. If they can pin this on him they'll take a chance on it. And Bertram will be chomping at the bit by now to give the Press something. It'll help his career if he can assist the FBI with their case against Stiles. Get his face across a few broadsheets into the deal, it's a win win situation even if they all know this is bull. Gives them another crack at him."

"Apart for from Stiles if he's innocent," she argued, looking at the paper in her hand.

"The last thing Stiles is is innocent and you know it," he replied. "He didn't do this but there's plenty he has done in the past. And for all we know he _is_ Red John."

She nodded and took a deep breath. "Okay. You're right. Let's drop this in Wainwright's lap and see what happens next."

Cho said, "I'll drive Forster upstate. Get him tucked away with a friend of mine who owns some cabins there. I'll bring a couple of Mashburn's people with me to watch over him. I'll be back here by morning."

"Okay," Lisbon said. "Be careful." Uncharacteristically she hugged Cho briefly. It served to make Jane smirk in amusement and make her second in charge highly uncomfortable. Lisbon herself, when she released him, appeared almost as embarrassed as he was.

As they waved their goodbyes Jane laughed. "Well that was the most awkward hug I've ever seen. Wish I'd got it on film."

"Shut up," she said, averting her eyes and still blushing at her spontaneous outward display of affection before she got into the driver's seat.

* * *

After leaving the statement with Wainwright and explaining that Forster was under their protection for fear of a reprisal from Visualize Jane and Lisbon left the CBI together. It was obvious that Wainwright knew there was more to the story than he was being told and that he wanted to know Forster's whereabouts but, as per his agreement with Lisbon, he asked no further questions on the matter. Jane suspected he was just pleased he finally had something to share with Bertram. Jane figured Bertram wouldn't be so agreeable when he heard the news but that was something to be dealt with further down the line.

"The hospital?" Jane asked as he sat beside Lisbon. He'd read her thoughts as she'd become increasingly quiet on the drive to the CBI. "We could see her tomorrow," he suggested when he saw the tiredness around her eyes. "You look exhausted."

"Gee, thanks," she said with a roll of her eyes. "You don't look so hot yourself."

"Meh, I'm always hot and you know it," he grinned.

She laughed and took a breath. "Let's just stop by quickly then we'll grab some takeout and go back to my place. We'll wait and see what new horrors await us tomorrow."

"Sounds good," he smiled. It seemed staying over at her place was the new status quo he was very pleased to note.

* * *

Lisbon took a deep breath when she approached the waiting room in the hospital. She talked to Mashburn's security and a CBI agent posted there to keep watch over Van Pelt. They told her that Rigsby and her parents were currently at her bedside as they waited for her to regain consciousness. She fiddled with the sleeve of her jacket as they approached it, hoping they could tear Rigsby away for a moment or two. "This is good news," Jane said at her side.

"Yeah, we need some," she said as she saw two further guards at the door to her room and showed her ID to them. She opened the door and three faces looked back at her. She would have known Van Pelt's parents anywhere; she had her father's eyes and her mother's hair.

"You must be Agent Lisbon," her mother said, getting up from her seat.

"Yeah," Lisbon said with a frown and a furtive glance to Rigsby who had also got to his feet. "How did you-"

"She showed us photographs, of course." Noticing Jane standing behind Lisbon she broke into a weary smile. "And you must be the irrepressible Patrick Jane. I've heard a lot about you, in particular."

Jane smiled and shrugged, "I guess I must be," he said with some nervousness, somewhat embarrassed in the circumstances they were meeting.

"How is she?" Lisbon asked her.

Her mother stood beside her daughter again and brushed her hair softly with her hand. "I'm sure she'll be awake and telling us off for looking so morose any time now."

Lisbon caught her breath and nodded, "I'm sure you're right," she smiled as tears pricked at her eyes. Jane placed his hand on her lower back and rubbed it gently. To his relief she didn't pull away.

"Boss," Rigsby said quietly with downcast eyes, clearing his throat, "can I talk to you for a minute outside?"

"Of course," she replied with a nod.

Jane asked her with his eyes if she wanted him to tag along but she shook her head indiscernibly and so he said instead, "Okay if I keep you company?" to her mother.

On the way out Rigsby regarded him sheepishly and Jane nodded with a smile, a silent apology and acceptance offered and accepted between them.

When they were outside Rigsby started immediately, "Look, what I said-"

"Don't worry about it. Please, you were more than entitled, Wayne."

"No I wasn't. Jane was right." He laughed shakily. "Like he always is."

"Yeah, it's kind of annoying that that's the case so often," Lisbon replied with a small smile.

"Yeah, it is," he agreed. "I shouldn't have taken it out on you. Cho called me earlier, I know you guys are doing everything you can to find the bastard. Going all out no matter what it takes. I...I appreciate it. Just wish I could do something to help track him down too."

"Hey, she's family and so are you," Lisbon said softly. "And you're exactly where you should be right now."

The door behind them opened and Jane popped his head through. He grinned at both of them then focused on Rigsby. "Are you going to stand there shooting the breeze all day or are you going to talk to your fiancée?"

Rigsby's eyes widened and he croaked, "She's awake?"

Jane nodded, "And she's asking for you so get your ass in here."

As Lisbon was engulfed in the quickest hug of her life Rigsby bolted from her side back to Van Pelt's room.

"Wayne?" Van Pelt breathed as her mother held her hand.

"Yeah," he said, rushing to her side to take her other one. He took a breath. "Yeah, I'm here, sweetheart, I'm here."

"I'm...sore," she said through a painful and short breath. "What happened to me?"

* * *

Medical staff had ushered them all out of the room as soon as she'd regained consciousness to assess her and the five of them stood in the corridor outside. "She doesn't remember the attack," Rigsby said. "Could be short term memory loss, right?"

"Could be," Jane said. "Or she may never remember." He shook his head. "Might be better that way for her."

"But," Rigsby ran a hand down his face. "I hoped she'd be able to tell us-"

"Hey, she's alive and talking. That's all that matters," Lisbon grinned. "To hell with the rest, we'll figure it out for ourselves."

"Well said, Agent Lisbon," her father said with a grin of his own. "I can see why my daughter looks up to you."

She blushed furiously, always discomforted by a compliment. "Uh...thanks."

"Maybe we should go," Jane said, pointing to himself and Lisbon. "Let you all catch up with her properly."

"We'll stop by in the morning," Lisbon said to Rigsby with a huge smile.

After another exchange of hugs and a promise to bring pastries with them the next day and tell Cho the good news they left the hospital and went back to Lisbon's place, having picked up some clothes from Jane's motel room and a takeaway on the way.

* * *

Their spirits and bellies restored an hour later Lisbon relaxed on the couch with Jane beside her. For the first time in days a genuine smile graced her lips.

"I know we still have a way to go but I think the end's in sight at last," she said.

He slipped an arm around her shoulders and brought her closer to him, smiling when she snuggled slightly into his side. "Feeling more optimistic, my dear?"

"Am I crazy thinking that way? Normally just when things look brighter is the time when all hell breaks loose. And we have this whole Blake Association thing to deal with now as well. How we do that is beyond me."

He laughed and kissed the side of her head. "Well that optimism certainly didn't last long. One thing at a time. We omitted any mention of Blake from Forster's report for a good reason."

"Yeah, I know. We catch Red John first. Then we go to the Feds about Blake. If we can find an honest one. Let them deal with that mess. You think Ray is part of it?"

He shrugged. "Certainly possible. If you'd slept with him like Mashburn then we'd know for sure," he said with a smirk that earned him a dig in the ribs.

"Why don't I just have sex with every man I meet, then? We could go through the elimination process that way," she deadpanned.

"Hmm. That list would include Bertram and Wainwright, you realise too. I know you're a slave to your job, Lisbon, but that might be going above and beyond the call of duty."

She made a face at that thought that had them both chuckling. "I think we're getting hysterical with sheer tiredness," she pointed out.

"You're probably right," he smiled, placing his head back on the couch and pulling her closer as he shut his eyes.

"You sure it was Red John who killed Janet Walker still?" she asked him. "That mark she pointed out must be the three dot tattoo."

"I'm sure," he said with conviction. "I saw it in her eyes that it was him, Lisbon. I've seen that terror before," he added quietly.

She wrapped her body closer around him, her heart melting at the implication of his last words. Undoubtedly he was referring to when he found his family butchered.

After a few seconds she tilted her head so she looked at him. "Thank you," she said quietly.

Opening his eyes he smiled at her and said, "I don't exactly know what I'm being thanked for but you're welcome." He took the opportunity to steal a short kiss.

"You didn't leave," she said.

He frowned and blinked. "You thought I would?"

She shrugged. "I wasn't sure. I thought you might. You thought about it...I could see it going through your head when Grace was attacked."

He nodded. "I thought about it. But only briefly. Only because I thought it might be easier. That he might stop and turn his attention back to me if I did."

"Why didn't you?"

He caressed her cheek. "Why do you think?" He sighed and put his other arm around her. "I meant what I said the other night. I want this to work between us. It wasn't idle chatter, Teresa. Or pre or post coital ramblings. And running away...again...that's hardly going to accomplish that, is it? No matter what might happen in our lives. Either by his hand or someone else's."

She touched his bare wedding ring finger and looked up at him again. "I do want to believe you, I really do. But-"

"You're afraid to entrust your heart to me again. I understand that. It's okay. As long as we keep moving forward and not backwards, I'm good." He kissed her again, longer and with more feeling. "All right?"

She kissed him and placed a hand on his cheek, drawing his face closer and lengthening the kiss until he moaned. "All right," she smiled, releasing his lips with a smirk.

He grinned. "Okay, let's go to bed. Better get some sleep before all hell breaks loose tomorrow as you so succinctly put it. Should be interesting to see what Mr Stiles' next move is going to be."

* * *

**A/N: For any of you not aware yet I've started a new fic called Broken that you might want to check out. It's another flashback one like this one that I'm excited to be writing. It's M rated (for both subject matter and sexy times(!)) so you'll need to adjust your normal filters to find it. **

**Thanks and thanks again for all the support for this one as it hurtles towards its end.**


	43. Chapter 43

Chapter 43 - Preamble

He woke to soft snores beside him as daylight filtered through the slatted blinds in Lisbon's bedroom. Her comforting presence next to him made him smile as he turned to face her. She was lying on her back, waves of chestnut lapping over a bared shoulder as she slept. He watched her silently, her hair delightfully tossed from sleep, the scent of cinnamon lingering on her skin enticing him to taste it. He moved closer and the fragrance washed over him anew. Gently he moved her tresses from her shoulder and dropped a small kiss to it. She moved slightly as a small moan was released at the interruption to her slumber. He continued, lips barely touching her exposed skin as he kissed his way to the bottom of her neck. When she exhaled satisfyingly he draped an arm across her waist and bit gently on her earlobe.

"Good morning," he whispered into her ear, before slowly kissing the sensitive spot behind it.

She moved a hand to his bicep and squeezed it tenderly. Sleepily, "Morning, what time is it?"

"Early," he responded as his hand travelled towards her navel and lingered it there. "You were asleep before your head hit the pillow last night," he added as he pecked her cheek.

"Mhmm, tired I guess," she breathed with eyes still closed as she moved her other hand to the back of his neck and teased the curls there. "Did you sleep?"

"Better than I have in over a year." He kissed her, enticing her to open her mouth as he deepened it. Smiling, "You even allowed me to have half the bed to myself."

As he went to kiss her again she mumbled into his mouth, "Well don't get used to it," before kissing him back.

He chuckled as he withdrew the bed covers and kissed her chin, then the column of her neck. She moaned softly as her fingers caught in his curls again.

As he dropped kisses to her collarbone he asked, "Just one question. Did you mean for me not to get used to having a half a bed to myself or not to get used to being in yours again?"

When she didn't reply he brought his face up beside hers and scraped some hair from her forehead. She opened her eyes and blinked as he waited on a response as he hovered above her.

She bit her bottom lip gently and stared at him. "I like having you in my bed," she said with slight hesitation.

It was not exactly a heartfelt declaration of love and devotion but it was good enough for him at the moment for him to grin in response. He pecked her lips. "Good, because I like being in it."

As they kissed again he began to glide his hand towards her rear until a cell phone to the right of him sounded. He sighed exasperatedly. "That's mine."

She giggled, "Then you better get it."

Another loud sigh and he toppled back to his own side of the bed and picked up his phone from the nightstand. He frowned and answered it. "Hello?"

A second later his face erupted into a smile and he glanced across at her and winked. He said into the phone, "Bret Stiles, how nice to hear from you. It's about time."

* * *

As he talked with Stiles, Lisbon slid out of the bed and padded downstairs to the kitchen to make coffee and tea for them. Whatever arrangements were being made she'd hear about soon enough. She smiled as she began to put the coffee into the filter, once upon a time she'd have been sure he'd keep something from her about a meeting such as this and before that he may not have told her about it at all. Her heart warmed at the progress they'd made together again in just a short couple of weeks as the water began to run through the machine. She filled the kettle while she was waiting. Her smile widened that this time there were no secrets between them and being with each other felt cleaner and clearer. Him being in her bed once again was beginning to feel incredibly right.

"You look like you're deep in thought," his voice said behind her with a hint of amusement and she jumped at being startled out of her thoughts.

"What did Stiles have to say for himself?" she asked as she took two mugs from a rack in the kitchen instead of responding to his assertion.

He came up behind her and kissed the side of her head while a knowing chuckle escaped his lips before he fetched the milk.

She rolled her eyes as he turned his back on her. _Damn that man to catch her on when she's all gooey eyed over him!_

"We're meeting at noon," Jane said, humour dropped from his voice as he turned back to her. "Kind of apt, wouldn't you say?" he shrugged.

"High noon, yeah sounds great," she said with an eye roll. "Nothing bad ever happens at that time of day."

"We're not in a Western, Lisbon," he smiled. "Though I can pull off a cowboy hat if you ever want to get me some jeans and leather chaps."

While that image flitted through her mind and made her pulse race quite unexpectedly, she kept her expression neutral. "Jane, this is serious. What did he say?"

He shrugged as he reached for the boiled kettle. "Not much. I just told him we needed to meet. He asked me to go to Visualize to see him-"

"You're not going to that place without me and some back up!" she bit back.

"Relax, woman," he drawled as he poured tea for himself. "While I doubt anything untoward would happen to me at Visualize I don't want to give him the advantage of home turf. We're meeting in a public park. Plenty of bystanders nearby." He tilted his head to the side. "Plus I might even get to feed the ducks."

"Jane," she said firmly, getting irritated by his lackadaisical approach even though she knew it was a front to make her worry less and more than likely to take some pressure off himself too. He took two steps until he faced her. "It's going to be okay," he said softly as he put his hands on her hips and kissed her quickly. "I promise, all right?"

"I'm coming with you," she said.

He sighed, retreated so his back was to the counter again and he was out of immediate punching range. "It's better I go alone, Lisbon. He'll talk more openly if it's just me and him."

"We're in this together, aren't we?" she pouted.

"Of course we are but...but...well Stiles is enough of a challenge-"

"Oh, so me being there will distract you, is that what you're saying?" she replied, wide eyed. "You're the one who gets flustered when you talk to him, Patrick. Not me."

He raised his eyebrows, more surprised at her using his first name than her reading of his interactions with Stiles. "Teresa," he said pointedly, "I do not get flustered when I talk to him. Perhaps when I first spoke to him he...unsettled me as he surprised me with how much he knew about me. But I know the man now. We have a certain...repartee and frankly, my dear, you'd get in the way of that."

He breathed out, preparing himself for a Lisbon ear bashing in response. As he saw her breathe in to no doubt explode in fury back her cell phone sounded and he breathed a sigh of relief at the interruption. She glared at him and snatched it off the counter.

"Stan?" she frowned. "Is everything all right?" The panic in her voice was clear and Jane arrived at her side immediately, throwing her a concerned look.

She spoke evenly, and if Jane were on the other end of the line he'd have had no idea of the frantic beating of her heart he could feel beside him. "When was this? Okay...no, for god's sake don't do that. No Stan!" She softened her tone. "She's okay though, right? Yeah, just keep her and the rest of the kids out of school for the time being and I'll come to you. I'll catch the first flight. I'm...I'm so sorry about this mess. Okay...okay, bye."

As she hung up her hand was shaking slightly and Jane took the phone off her. "What happened?"

Their argument over Stiles temporarily forgotten she said, "Annie, Stan's eldest. Karen was clearing out her school bag this morning...just in case there were notes from the teacher she'd forgotten to give her and...and she found a white sheet of paper with Red John's mark on it inside."

As Jane nodded she continued, her voice becoming increasingly panicked, "Jane, Karen clears out that bag every morning. Someone put that in there yesterday." Tears pricked at her eyes. "It's a message, right? That he can get to them. Jane, she's just a little girl...how could he-"

She stopped and closed her eyes, realising what she'd just said. "Oh god, sorry...I'm sorry." She took a ragged breath.

"It's okay," he said, taking her into his arms. "It's okay." He pulled back a little and brought her face to his again. Calmly, "Now, what was that you said about going to Chicago?"

She blinked and stammered, "I...well I have to go-"

"Why?"

"Why!?" she exclaimed. "Why do you think?"

"Lisbon, I understand that you want to be with your family right now but it's not a good idea."

"How can you say that!?"

He moved her to sit at the table in the kitchen and sat down opposite her. "Because you being there won't help them. It'll put even larger targets on their heads. This is what he wants. To separate us-"

"So do you. You're the one who wants to go meet Stiles by yourself."

He rolled his eyes at the stubborn woman in front of him. It was both one of the things he adored about her and his biggest annoyance. "That's different."

"Because it's you?"

He closed his eyes briefly. "Let's talk about your family first. You think that paper being stuffed into her school bag was a message. I agree, but not in the way you think. I'm guessing she leaves that bag at least one or two times a day...either to go swimming...or to gym class or whatever..."

"I guess..." she frowned.

"Then if anything it's a message that they can't get to her because Mashburn's people are there, too close to her for any of Red John's people to take her. Lisbon, they're safer if you're nowhere near them. If you were...well if you were then his people may risk a couple of lives to get to you." He breathed out and looked into her eyes. "And believe me you don't want those lives to be members of your family if they're caught in the middle."

She released a long breath and leaned back against the chair. "Stan wanted to come here and search for the son of a bitch himself," she said as she shook her head and closed her eyes.

Jane chuckled. "Then this really would be a Western. Groups of vigilantes running amok all over California."

She laughed despite the fear she felt. She straightened up again and pinned him with a gaze. "You really think it's better for them if I stay here?"

He nodded, hoping he'd never regret his next response or he'd never forgive himself. "I do."

She thought for a few moments then nodded. "Okay, I'll call him back. I'll call Walter too, see if he can spare a few more people to send to Chicago, just in case."

"I doubt that'll be a problem," he smiled as he took her hand and rubbed his fingers over her knuckles.

"We'll really owe him when this is all over," she said.

He kissed her lips softly. "We'll pay him back somehow. As long as he doesn't expect _that_ type of payment in kind he can have what he wants and I'll help him get it."

"What about Stiles?" he asked cautiously. "You worried I won't tell you everything that's said afterwards?"

"No," she said quickly. She squeezed his hand, "I know you will."

He smiled softly at her as a warm feeling wrapped itself around him at her words. She didn't trust him entirely yet but she was getting there.

She continued, "I'm just worried about you going there alone. Jane, he could be Red John."

"I know that. Even if he is he won't do anything to me today." She saw something in his eyes, worry for her in case he realised Stiles was Red John at this meeting and wanting to keep her away from that. More worry that Stiles would realise it too and make a move of some kind against them or die trying. He took a breath, "Look, if you really think it's that important that you go-"

"No," she said, shaking her head. Now she'd had more time to think about it she decided he was right. He'd need all his mentalist skills for this conversation as it was and if she was there and he was worried about her in any capacity then she couldn't interfere. And if Jane did figure out Stiles was Red John he'd be able to cover it up on his face much more convincingly if he was alone. "You were right. He'll talk more freely to you. Just make sure you get something out of him. I can't have my family or the rest of us putting our lives on hold indefinitely. We need this to be over soon."

"Couldn't agree more," he said as he stood up. "What are your plans then? Because, call me overprotective, but I want you with Cho or one of the others while I go meet with Stiles."

"We'll check in with Grace at the Hospital then I'll either hang around there or go into the CBI. And before you say it, I'll make sure I have my protection detail with me. You take Cho as back up for Stiles. And that's non negotiable."

He smirked and kissed her temple, "Yes, boss."

* * *

Van Pelt was dosed up on strong painkillers after a fitful night's sleep and was coming in and out of consciousness for only minutes at a time. She had no recollection of the attack and her speech and co-ordination were still affected by the brain injury. Doctors were moderately hopeful that her speech would return fully, perhaps even within hours, but that intensive physical therapy would be needed for the left side of her body to function as it once did. She could squeeze Rigsby's hand with some effort but was incapable of getting out of bed or walking on her own currently.

As pastries were distributed between the agents at the hospital and her team, Lisbon's heart sank at the news. While Grace was lucky to be alive at all, the euphoria she felt the night before subsided quickly with both this new development and the news from Chicago.

Rigsby was coping considerably better, filled with hope and plans for Grace's recuperation. He'd already requested time off to be with her at her parents' ranch where the best medical care would be provided until she was literally back on her feet again. Lisbon agreed readily, not that she even had to be asked she assured him, but she got the feeling Rigsby and Van Pelt would never grace the doors of the CBI again. If there was a CBI left at all once the FBI were informed about Blake. The tall agent had aged significantly in the past few days and, while the fight was still in him to make Red John pay, she couldn't picture him having the same interest in catching other criminals. After being caught up on Blake he had just nodded and shrugged, his heart and mind only focused on the woman in the hospital room a few feet away.

"You okay?" Jane said at Lisbon's side as they sat in the waiting room while Cho took Rigsby to get some coffee as the doctors checked on Van Pelt.

"I knew it was too good to be true last night," she sighed as she looked down.

He took her hand and pulled on it to make him look at her. "Lisbon, she's alive. She will improve. She's strong and she will get better."

She blinked tears away as she saw the regret in his eyes that his wife and daughter hadn't been so lucky. That he would have given anything to be in Rigsby's position at that time. "You're right," she said, taking a breath. "Sorry."

He glanced around quickly and though there were a few other agents around he kissed her softly, slightly surprised she let him. "I love you and we'll get through this," he whispered in her ear.

Her breath caught and she nodded as a tear trickled down her cheek. Still the words back to him got stuck in her throat and she frowned as to why that was. There was no point denying she was in love with him so why couldn't she say it to him again? He smiled with a raised eyebrow and said, "I should go meet Stiles. I'll grab Cho on the way out."

As he stood up she hugged him briefly. "I'm going to stay here. I'd like to talk to her when she's conscious again."

"Good," he said. "Stay here and I'll come right back afterwards."

"Make sure you do," she ordered him, taking a hold of herself in the process.

For the second time that day he replied, "Yes, boss."

* * *

Jane took up residence at a park bench with a view of a duck pond and waited for Stiles. Cho was sitting a few feet away on a bench of his own, on his normal stakeout attire of a T shirt, jeans and baseball cap. Not that it was necessary. Stiles knew him and he was too clever to imagine Jane meeting him without some back up.

_Things were changing_, he said to himself as he watched some ducklings follow their mother on the still pond before him. He'd picked up on Rigsby's ambivalence about his career and imagined him, along with Van Pelt, leaving the CBI to start a new life away from Sacramento. He could hardly blame them for wanting more from their lives than living in constant danger and working seventy hour weeks. He'd begun to feel much the same himself if he could only make Red John disappear from his and Lisbon's lives. The younger agents would want to start a family and a safer and less time consuming environment to raise children.

He'd saw it in Lisbon's face too when she recognised the same thing. The team that she had nurtured for so long was breaking apart and it would impact her far more than she would ever say. And Blake...well that was something altogether more terrifying and not something he even wanted to think about taking on. Lisbon, on the other hand...

"Patrick, how nice to see you again, dear boy," Bret Stiles said with a smile as his shadow was cast over Jane.

"Bret, please do take a seat," Jane said with a lazy smile in return and putting all other thoughts to the back of his mind.

Stiles sat down and sighed happily as he put his back to the bench and patted down the white pants of the suit he wore. "Beautiful day," he remarked as he gazed around.

"Certainly is," Jane agreed at his side.

"Is that Agent Cho I spy?" Stiles said as he glanced to his left.

"He likes coming to the park of a lunchtime."

Stiles chuckled briefly before turning towards Jane. Solemnly, "Terrible news about Grace. Tell me, how is she?"

Jane shifted on the bench to face him. "She'll recover," he said evenly.

Stiles nodded slowly. "I'm pleased to hear it. She is a beautiful girl. Even if she does have questionable taste in men like her current paramour." He made an appearance to look around him again. "No Agent Lisbon with you? From what I hear you two have been joined at the hip since you've returned from your sabbatical. I even heard romance has blossomed between you both."

Jane smiled faintly. "She was busy but I'll tell her you were asking for her. I'm sure you'll see her soon enough when she arrests you."

Stiles laughed. "Arrest me? For what this man Forster supposedly said about me?"

"You've heard about that, have you?" Jane smirked.

"As you no doubt intended I would."

"Warrants take a little time to prepare," Jane shrugged. "Paperwork, the blessing of bureaucracy. How'd you hear about it?"

"You know many people in my organisation work in law enforcement, Patrick. It pays to keep one's ear to the ground when your name is being bandied about in such a fashion."

"Like Forster?" Jane smiled.

Stiles chuckled. "You know I've never met that man, Patrick. And that he has no intention of testifying against me. And I know that you're using this statement of his," Stiles waved his hand around dismissively, "to merely blackmail me into meeting with you. So...now that we have that cleared up what do you really want to talk to me about?"

"I'm sure you know," Jane said with a steely gaze.

"Ah, Red John, of course!" Stiles replied with a loud sigh. "I thought you'd given up that particular crusade a year ago."

"You're remarkably well informed. Care to share your source?"

"Care to tell me where this Forster is so I can question him myself?" Stiles said with thinly veiled hostility. "Though he is not to blame for my current predicament. That, I am sure, is all down to you, my boy."

Jane shrugged nonchalantly. It hadn't even been his idea but there was no point bringing Lisbon's name into this.

"Red John," Jane said with upmost seriousness. "I know that you know him. And you'll tell me who he is. Now."

Stiles drew his head back and widened his eyes. "Oh? I shall, shall I?" he smirked. "Or what?"

Jane ignored the reply and said to him, "Unless he's you. Tell me Bret, are you Red John?" He leaned in and studied him furiously, every micro expression, every miniscule movement.

"I am not," Stiles replied.

A beat passed as Jane assessed his response. He was difficult but not wholly impossible to read. As well as the outright denial, Jane noticed a flicker of something else in his eyes. Anger. Not at the question, though there was a hint of annoyance at that too. What interested him more was the anger was at something much more deep-seated. And mixed in with that there was animosity and outrage.

"I believe you," Jane said, leaning back again but still staring into the other man's eyes.

"Then you can stop all this Forster nonsense-"

"No," Jane commented, "I meant I believe you're not Red John. But you do know him. I've always suspected as much but now I know for certain. Well...more certain than I already was."

Stiles shrugged, "Well, if there's nothing else, Patrick, I better talk to my lawyers-" he began as he went to get off the bench.

"Sit back down," Jane commanded him with a dark look. "We have more to discuss. Like the letter you wrote to Henry Jacobs."

Stiles, half on his feet, looked at Jane and saw the intensity in his expression. Frowning, he sighed and sat back down again. "And who exactly is Henry Jacobs?" he said with another sigh.

"You tell me. Not his real name but he's implicated in another murder. And the person who committed it was this Henry Jacobs. It's another alias of Red John."

Stiles frowned. "I have no idea who you're talking about, Patrick. And frankly, these questions about Red John are becoming quite tiresome."

Jane withdrew the letter he'd found at Jacobs' house from his jacket and handed it to Stiles. Stiles furrowed his brow before fetching his glasses from his front jacket pocket and read it. "I've never seen this before in my life. It's my stationery and...well the handwriting is quite a good match but it's not mine, I'm afraid."

"Then he was setting you up," Jane said as he took the letter back. "Red John left this in a house he knew we'd search and knew it would lead us to you."

Stiles, his interest piqued now, narrowed his eyes at Jane. "Am I to believe this is _not_ another fabrication?" he asked with tight lips.

"It's not. At least, not by me," Jane said, allowing the other man to see his honesty.

Stiles exhaled loudly and made an annoyed clicking sound with his tongue as he came to terms with that revelation. Jane added, "He's coming after you. For what I don't know. This is only the start-"

"And you're helping him with that Forster nonsense," Stiles bit back.

"Then tell me who he is and I'll stop him," Jane said, leaning forward.

"I wish I could, dear boy," Stiles said with a sigh.

"You two used to be close – friends even. Am I right?"

As Stiles looked in his direction Jane spoke again before he did. He talked quickly and with conviction. "Yes, I am. You had...some kind of falling out. Over what I don't know. You went your separate ways afterwards. What I fail to understand is why you won't give me his name. Why won't you? Is it out of some respect for old ties?"

"Certainly not," Stiles snapped. "You think if I could have I would not have rid the world of that wretched man myself by now? I am many things, Patrick, but a child killer is not one of them."

Jane frowned then nodded. "He has something on you. That's why you won't tell me. It'll never see the light of day if you tell me who he is. I know now you didn't murder my wife and child. Whatever else you've done is not my battle to fight. I just want him."

"You think a man such as Red John would not have an insurance policy against me already in place in the event of his death?"

"Tell me who he is and I'll find it and give it back to you before I touch him." Jane took a breath. "You have my word."

Stiles regarded him for a long moment as Jane looked beseechingly into his eyes. Eventually the white haired man shook his head. "I'm sorry, Patrick. While I believe you'd do everything in your power to keep your word it's not worth the risk to me if you're unable to. And, while the leverage you have on me with Forster is convincing at first sight, it's not enough for me to give you Red John."

Jane's lips parted in disbelief as Stiles stood up. "I'm sorry, Patrick. I hope one day you'll find your man. But not with my help, I'm afraid."

As he walked into the distance Cho immediately walked over to Jane. "How'd it go? Not well judging by your expression."

Jane watched Stiles' retreating figure. He took a calming breath. "Not as well as it could have but worthwhile. We just need some more leverage against him and Stiles will sing like a bird." A smile crept up on his lips. "And I've just had an idea on how to get that."

* * *

**A/N: Just fyi the letter mentioned was talked about in chapter 32 in case you'd forgotten about it.**


	44. Chapter 44

Chapter 44 – A Favour and The Future

Lisbon sat by Van Pelt's bedside, the intermittent beeping of the monitor beside her the only sound in the room. Rigsby and her parents were off discussing practical arrangements with the physiotherapy staff on what help would be needed when they got Van Pelt home so Lisbon sat alone in the hospital room, sitting on a plastic chair beside the redhead while she slept and trying not to worry about events in Chicago or what was happening with Stiles.

After a few minutes Lisbon said softly, "Hey, Grace," to the other woman as her eyelids fluttered open, before she took her right hand and squeezed it.

"Boss?" Van Pelt croaked as she looked to her side.

"Yeah," she smiled. "How are you feeling? Rigsby and your mom and dad will be back soon. You need anything?"

Van Pelt nodded to the water jug beside her and Lisbon poured a glass and helped her take a few sips.

"Thanks," she sighed as Lisbon fluffed up her pillow before helping her get comfortable again. "Sorry," she added as she shook her head and took a breath.

Lisbon frowned as she sat back down again. "What on earth are you apologising for? What happened to you isn't your fault, Grace."

"I don't remember," the redhead replied, a line appearing between her eyes as she struggled finding the words. "Don't remember. Can't tell you anything."

Lisbon gripped her hand tighter. "None of that matters. We'll find him, I swear, and we'll make him pay."

"Jane...has a...plan?"

Lisbon grinned. "He's working on it. We both are. So stop worrying, okay?"

Van Pelt nodded and closed her eyes briefly before speaking again. "He loves you."

Lisbon's throat tightened and she nodded, fighting back the tears. "Yeah, I know. He told me. Told me he wants to make a go of things again. And that it was mostly down to whatever you said to him."

A smile crept up on Van Pelt's lips and Lisbon smiled in response. "Good. About time." She must have noticed some apprehension in Lisbon's expression because she then added, her words broken up with the effort of finding them, "Don't. Be. Afraid."

A tear fell onto Lisbon's cheek as she looked at the brave woman lying beside her who had been through hell but who was still fighting and winning against both physical and mental hurdles thrown at her. She nodded, "Okay, I'll try not to be. Now, get some more rest." She smiled. "And that's an order."

* * *

Jane called her from the car on his way back from his meeting with Stiles. After filling her in on his conversation, she updated him on Grace's condition as she paced the hospital corridor outside Van Pelt's room. Then, she asked him, "So, what's the plan?"

He smiled, "What makes you think I have one?"

"Because if you didn't you'd sound decidedly less chipper than you do."

"One I need your assistance with," he said to her with another smile.

"Oh? So I don't need to stay out of the action this time, huh?" she said with raised eyebrows.

"Quite the contrary, Lisbon. I'll likely need those beautiful green eyes of yours to convince him to help."

She frowned momentarily then responded, "Oh god, what are we asking Walter to do for us now?"

* * *

As they drove through the gates of Mashburn's estate an hour or so later, Jane whistled as he exited the SUV Lisbon drove and had parked at the cobbled courtyard attached to his generous driveway. "You were never tempted to have this life?" he asked as they approached the expansive front entrance.

"Who says I'm still not?" she said with a smirk after ringing the doorbell.

He looked at her sideways and shot her a glare with an accompanying raised eyebrow. "Not funny, Teresa," he mumbled as he faced the door and shook his head.

She sighed as they waited. "I don't know about this plan, Jane," she said with seriousness. "We've involved him enough. We're pushing our luck."

"It'll make Stiles talk. I'm sure of it."

"Yeah but it's...using Walter, Jane, putting him in danger. Putting him-"

She stopped talking when a maid, a woman in her early fifties with a Mexican accent, opened the door and ushered them into a sitting room. She asked them if they would like refreshments and told them Mr Mashburn would be right with them after he'd finished a conference call in the study.

When they were alone again Lisbon continued, "It's putting him in Red John's sights. He's already helped us enough." She flopped down on an opulent white couch with a heavy sigh.

Jane sat down beside her and rolled his eyes. "We need someone with Walter's resources to make this work, Lisbon. And if you're so dead set against the idea then why did you come along in the first place?"

"Because I want to make sure Walter knows what he's agreeing to. Or not. I don't want you railroading him, Jane. It has to be his decision whether to help us or not," she snapped.

"And it will be," he responded, a bite to his words to match her tone, tempers fraying on both sides as they neared their end goal.

"Do I detect trouble in paradise?" Walter's breezy tone drifted towards them as the discussion turned heated.

Jane rolled his eyes and took a calming breath. He got up and nodded to Mashburn who was dressed in a black turtle neck and beige pants.

"Teresa!" Mashburn grinned after a quick glance at Jane who inwardly rolled his eyes again.

"Hey, Walter," Lisbon said as she got to her feet with a smile. "Thanks for agreeing to see us at such short notice. And...and for all your help so far. I'll...well _we'll_ never be able to repay you-"

"Nonsense," Mashburn replied with a grin. "How could I resist a damsel in distress's call?" He glanced at Jane. "Not to mention her not so trustworthy sidekick's," he laughed.

Jane plastered on a fake smile but couldn't help rock a little on his toes or keep some annoyance from his tone. "Very amusing," he commented as he shook his head at his host.

Mashburn gestured for them to take their seats again and he sat in an armchair opposite them."So, what can I do for my favourite crimefighters now? Must be big if it entailed more than a phone call."

"It is," Lisbon said. "And...to be entirely honest I'm not convinced we should ask you at all."

"Sounds intriguing, my interest is certainly piqued."

At that, the sounds of a tray full of crockery stilled the conversation as it was placed on a coffee table in between them. After one of his staff served Jane tea and Lisbon coffee, Jane took the lead in the conversation.

"Walter, have you ever heard of Visualize?" he asked as he took a sip of tea.

Mashburn frowned and got off his chair to fix himself a Scotch from a bar area nearby. "Visualize? Uh...yes...the religious cult, right?" he said as he stood with his back to them.

"We need to be sure we can trust you before we say more," Jane said, making the other man turn around.

Surprised, "Trust me? Patrick, I've done nothing but help you lately. You, my friend, have severe trust issues, you know that?"

"Yeah, I know," Jane admitted with a shrug. "When I say trust, what I mean is-"

"We do trust you," Lisbon cut in, speaking on behalf of both Jane and herself now. "But what we're really asking is that we keep some of what we're about to tell you to yourself. It can go no further, okay? It's...vital this is kept just between us, Walter."

Mashburn settled himself back in his armchair and sloshed the amber liquid around his glass as he studied both of them for a few moments. "Okay, the fact that both of you now look on edge is beginning to scare me. Fair enough...it doesn't leave this room."

Jane leaned forward, sitting his cup back on the tray in front of him. He intertwined his fingers. "Bret Stiles is the leader of Visualize. And we believe..." he licked his lips. It had taken him years to trust Lisbon and her team with any vital information in relation to Red John and telling Mashburn, a man he barely knew all that well, was proving harder on him that he'd imagined. "We believe...well, we know that he knows who Red John is."

Mashburn quirked an eyebrow as he sipped his drink. "Go on."

"We can't get him to tell us who Red John is," Lisbon stated. "Jane tried but Stiles is...well he's more than a slippery customer. We've tried...other means to get him to talk...but we need to up the ante if we've any hope of him giving us Red John's identity."

Mashburn turned to Jane. "_You_ weren't able to convince him, Patrick?" He shook his head, "Then he truly must be formidable."

"He is," Lisbon agreed.

"What's his reason for not telling you? Red John has leverage on him, something like that?"

Jane smiled. Mashburn was quick on the uptake. "Yes. But I don't know what it is or where to start looking. Could be anything. Stiles is shady and has been that way for many years."

Mashburn nodded slowly. "O-kay. But how can I be of assistance?"

Jane asked, "You deal in hostile takeovers, correct?"

"Ah, yes...on occasions," Mashburn shrugged. "Look, no offence, but a religious cult headed by what clearly sounds like some kind of sociopath is not something I wish to acquire. Sounds messy as well as dangerous."

Lisbon responded, "We wouldn't want you to actually make a bid or put wheels in motion to that effect, Walter. Just...put the word out that you're interested in taking it over. If that's even possible. But you're right. It could prove extremely dangerous. Stiles and his followers...they're not keen on anyone interfering in their business. Some kind of violent reprisal against you is more than likely."

Jane shook his head at her. "Way to sell it, Teresa," he muttered.

"He deserves to know the risks, Jane," she glared.

"And I'm imagining this is where I first came in," Mashburn said, interrupting their staring contest once again.

"Okay," he sighed, draining the last remnants of his glass. "Think I know enough for now. But before I agree or disagree to anything, I need to find out if the option is even financially viable. No point in shaking this tree if I don't have the capital to back me up first." He glanced at his watch, back in businessman mode as he got to his feet. "Give me until this evening; I should have the financials by then. Then I'll make my decision."

"But your safety..." Lisbon said as both she and Jane stood up.

"Well you can always come and stay here with me, Teresa. Protect me by my bedside as I live in fear for my life," he smiled.

When he caught sight of Jane's mouth hanging open as Lisbon appeared to consider the idea, Mashburn laughed. "Don't look so frightened, Patrick." He looked from one to the other then focused in on Lisbon.

He said nothing for a long moment but then looked into her eyes with an earnestness he rarely showed. Though he was still addressing Jane he continued to stare at Lisbon. "It's obvious to me she's made her decision, not that there was ever much of a contest in the first place but I hope my putting my hat in the ring made you realise what a fool you were to leave her in the first place." He added, his next words softer and for Lisbon's benefit alone, "I know when it's time for me to make my retreat, Teresa."

"I'm...I'm sorry," she shrugged in the same tone.

Jane looked to his shoes, uncomfortable with being the third wheel in this conversation and went to remove himself from it by taking a step towards the door. Before he could, Mashburn put his hand up and fixed them both with a steely gaze. "Tell me this. If I'm to help you with this and you get your man, what are your plans for him?"

They glanced at each other before Jane answered. "You're a smart man. I'm sure you can hazard an educated guess," he shrugged.

Mashburn pursed his lips and nodded satisfactorily. "Good. No less than he deserves. But what then?"

"How do you mean?" Lisbon enquired with a frown.

He looked at both of them in turn again, this time his expression quizzical. "What happens after, of course? Surely you've talked about practicalities. Do you go on the run together? Claim self-defence? Something else?"

He rolled his eyes a second later when neither immediately responded. "I swear, the two of you are worse communicators than I was with my third wife. The game has changed now you're together, surely that's obvious. It's no longer a sole quest for revenge and to hell with the consequences after the fact."

He focused on Jane. "Tell me I'm right, Patrick. Tell me you've thought through what happens when you get your man now you have Teresa by your side and intend for it to stay that way. Otherwise I might just retract what I just said."

Jane licked his lips under the other man's intense gaze before composing himself. "Walter, while we do need your help, it doesn't give you the right to interfere in whatever's going on personally between myself and Teresa. It's none of your business, quite frankly."

"Of course we've talked about it, Walter," Lisbon piped up, her voice a tone higher than it normally sounded. "So don't worry about that, okay?" she smiled.

Mashburn furrowed his brow and sighed before shaking his head, evident to him she was lying. "I'll call you later on with my decision," he said flatly.

As they were shown to the front door and walked over the cobblestones towards their vehicle in silence, Jane finally asked her, "Why did you lie? It was noticeable even to Mashburn we haven't had that discussion."

"Because I was embarrassed that we've let things get this far between us without talking about it," she said glumly as she clicked the alarm off on the SUV. Belatedly she realised that this was more than likely part of the reason she couldn't put voice to her feelings for Jane. Even though he'd told her he wanted her and wanted them, he also wanted his revenge too. And she guessed, although she was less certain now that Van Pelt had made signs of recovering, she did too.

So how could they make a go of it if he still intended to blindly go do what he said he always intended? How much of his vengeance would he be willing to give up for her when it came to crossing that line, when faced with his white whale?

After getting inside the car, he turned towards her. Quietly, "Then I guess we should talk about it."

"Okay. So...how do you intend to murder him? Assuming that's still your plan. Let's start with that and work our way up to how you propose not to spend the rest of your life in prison because of it."

Jane tilted his head. "Oh, so we're starting off with the easy stuff, are we?" he tried to joke with a smile.

When he saw her expression and the gravitas it contained he sighed, "All right. Let's go somewhere we can talk properly, then."


	45. Chapter 45

Chapter 45 – Getting Away with Murder

They sat opposite each other in the red leather booth they'd occupied no more than a week before. When they'd entered the diner Marcie had greeted them both warmly, but the line between her eyes told them she'd realised quickly they were not in the mood for idle chatter. After taking their orders, a club sandwich for Jane and a tuna sandwich for Lisbon, she'd shuffled back into the kitchen again leaving them, and the two other sole diners who were sitting at the counter, alone.

Jane placed his hands on the formica tabletop and took a deep breath as he intertwined his fingers before releasing them quickly again and instinctively running those on his right hand over the now bare patch of skin on the third one on the left.

"You haven't thought about it, have you?" Lisbon began, upon seeing his nervous display.

He brought his eyes up to hers. "Killing him? I've thought through a hundred scenarios of how that might be accomplished over the years, Lisbon."

"Any that haven't meant you'll spend the rest of your life in a prison cell?"

He shrugged. "Some."

"Okay, like what?" she urged, placing her elbows on the table and leaning forward.

He saw Marcie approach with their tea and coffee and nodded to her, and both leaned back in their respective sides of the booth for her to set the drinks down. "Here you go, my darlings," the waitress said with a beaming smile.

"Thanks, Marcie," Lisbon smiled, taking the mug of coffee and wrapping her hands around it, Jane doing likewise with his tea.

"Orders will be up soon. Now, stay for them this time, okay?" she said to them both with a raised eyebrow.

"You bet." Jane smiled softly at her. When she turned around again the smile fell from his lips as he eyed Lisbon while he took a first sip of tea.

"Well, how would you do it and not get caught?" she asked in a hushed tone, propelling herself forward again.

Before he spoke she saw something he couldn't hide in his expression that made her widen her eyes. He wasn't sure if it was shame...or guilt...or fear of her reaction but he'd been unable to hide it from her. She knew him too well by now, he mused.

"Lisbon-" he tried.

"No!" she said in a loud whisper, shaking her head. "Tell me you haven't thought about _that_, Jane. Tell me that thought never entered your head." She was glaring at him now, her breathing uneven. "Tell me you-"

"I can't do that," he said quietly but seriously, reaching for a hand that was gripped to her coffee mug. "Teresa, look-"

She pulled back from him and shook her head. "You selfish son of a bitch," she said as tears pricked at her eyes.

"Of course I don't want that now," he said, taking a breath. "But..." his voice trailed off as he looked out the window to his side. Softly, "But...once...of course I considered it, Teresa. He was my whole life. My only reason for getting up every day. And if he was dead...then...well, I might as well be dead too as long as I took him with me."

He chanced a half smile at her. "At least, that's what I told myself for a long time. Until I admitted to myself I had a much more appealing reason to go on."

Her anger diffused slightly, she sighed. "How could you ever think your life isn't worth living? It's a gift, Jane."

"You're not going to start some theological debate with me on suicide, are you?" he smirked in an attempt to dissipate some lingering tension between them. "Because we have other more pressing matters to discuss."

She laughed half heartedly. "But now-"

"Now I'd never consider it," he told her, reaching for her hand again. This time she allowed him and he squeezed it gently. "Okay?" he said, searching her eyes and pleading with her that she believe him. "Now I want to live. I want...you. I want...us."

She exhaled as a tear ran down her cheek. "Okay, good," she remarked with an eye roll as she calmed down. "Because it would destroy me, Jane. You need to know that."

He nodded, releasing her hand to take a mollifying long sip of tea. "I'd never do that to you now, Teresa. You have my word."

Conversation stilled as they were served their respective sandwiches until Lisbon picked it up again after swallowing a bite. "So...any thoughts on how we proceed?"

He dabbed a napkin to his lips. "Like I said, there are a thousand ways to kill him. I've thought of many of them over the years. "

"I'm sure. Do I even want to know?" she said with a roll of her eyes.

"Do you?" he replied. Her comment was made light heartedly but his response was not.

She crinkled her brow and nodded, intrigued but worried. "Yes."

He studied her for a long moment before he answered. He looked out of the window as his tone turned conversational. "First, I thought about killing him the same way he killed my wife and daughter, naturally. Gutting him like a fish. Torturing him until the last moment where he'd beg me for his life. Make him tell me he regretted killing them. I read up on it, in fact. How to inflict the maximum pain before a man dies. I thought slowly would be best for a long time. Then, neurotoxins...starvation...a confined space where he gradually runs out of air. Then, I considered what would be most painful or disturbing to him on a personal level. Of course...that would depend on what he might be afraid of...any...afflictions or neuroses he might have...though strangulation or drowning would make anyone fear for their life, I'm sure-"

"Jane," Lisbon interrupted, gaping at him. She shook her head slightly at how easy it appeared for him to discuss ways to kill a man. "Enough, I-"

"You said you wanted to know," he told her. He licked his lips and shrugged at her. "I'm sorry if you're appalled but I've considered all those methods, Teresa. And more. There probably isn't a way of killing him I haven't thought about, in fact."

"What's your point in telling me all this, though?"

"Because I need you to understand it's something I can't change my mind about."

"I haven't asked you to change your mind about it," she frowned.

"Not yet. But I can see it in your eyes, Lisbon. The bloodlust you felt when Grace was almost killed has left you now that she's on the mend again. You're thinking like a cop again. Or at least beginning to. You want justice, not vengeance. And that...well, it was much easier facing this with you when we were both singing from the same hymn sheet."

She clasped her mug and pondered his words as she drank from it. "You're right," she said finally as she set it back on the table. She looked at him half apologetically.

"Don't you think that's a tad hypocritical?" he asked her. "You were ready to kill him yourself when Grace - a good friend and colleague - was targeted." His eyes darkened with rage at the man who'd taken everything from him. "Imagine how you'd feel right now if she'd died. If...Annie had been killed today. Magnify that and you might get an idea of how I've felt for years. Of the anger I feel still." He took a long calming breath. "I love you. I...love you with all that's left of my heart but I can't let this go for you." He looked down as his eyes glistened. "And I'm sorry that's the case but...I can't change my mind on this. I want the man dead and I want to be the one to do it."

A hush came over the table until Lisbon pushed her plate away from her, her appetite lost.

"I understand if you want out of this," he said, tracing a finger along the smooth ceramic of his cup as he looked into it. He chuckled without humour. "Out of whatever the hell is going on between us, because I haven't got a clue what to call it currently," he added despondently.

"Does it have to be slow and tortuous?" she asked after a moment, making him look up at her again.

He blinked quickly as she held his gaze. "What are you saying? You'd still be willing to be with me after I kill him?"

She nodded slowly. "Yes, I would."

"You're sure?"

She swallowed and nodded again. "I can't be upset with you for telling me you still want to do what you always told you'd do when you found him. Jeez, it's one of the things you've never lied to me about. But..." She took a deep breath. "I can't watch you torture the man, Jane. That...I can't stomach something like that. So...does it have to be slow or would you be willing to just put a bullet in him when the time comes? It's the same net result. He's dead, out of your life. Out of both our lives for good."

He brought his cup up to his lips again, reading her as he took a sip. She was determined and this was as far as she'd go in agreeing with him. "Yes. If that's what it takes to make you okay with this then...yes...a bullet or some other quick means I can live with."

She let go of a breath. "Okay. Good." She shook her head. "Don't get me wrong. I'd like the bastard strung up too but...I want it done quickly for you, not him. Do you understand that?"

He nodded, smiled faintly. "I doubt I'd ever lose any sleep over how I kill him, Lisbon."

"You don't know that for sure. And, I'd rather not take the chance of either one of us finding out."

"What made you change your mind? All those years you tried to talk me out of it?"

"Because you were right. It is hypocritical of me to only want justice now because Grace is going to be okay. And I've felt that rage before that you talked about. Not to your degree but...do you remember Rebecca who murdered Bosco and his team?"

"Of course."

"I felt something similar then to what you talked about. To what I felt when Grace was attacked. I wanted to kill Rebecca that day I found her in Bosco's hospital room. I...I came close."

"But you didn't is my point. But you need to understand that...well, if you're holding out hope for any similar last minute change of mind on the matter from me-"

"I'm not," she assured him. "I saw that with Carter. I saw what you're willing to do. Even if he hadn't had a gun that day you'd have killed him anyway. Unless you're about to tell me otherwise."

He shook his head. "I'm not. And...and you're okay with that?" he said, needing reassurance of what she was saying.

"I never admonished you for killing him, did I?" she shrugged. "I was just pleased the bastard was dead when it came to it. And that you made it quick. That you didn't become the sadistic monster he is."

He thought for a moment. "Fair enough. If it's that important to you, I'll do it quickly. So, we're agreed?"

She nodded and picked at her sandwich again. "Still leaves us with the same problem of what happens after. We could stage it. Make it look like self defence."

He shook his head immediately. "Lisbon, if I'm anywhere in the vicinity of Red John's body...or...come to that, even if I'm not or could provide myself with an alibi for the time of his death, I'll be investigated for it. I've talked openly about killing the man for years. Hell, I did kill the man...or so I thought. And Blake will want retribution-"

"Okay," she said, interrupting him. They had no idea how big Blake was but Red John was a member so chances were there would be others who'd want revenge against Jane. Even if Jane somehow could be dissuaded from killing the man himself, his followers would more than likely assume it was him anyway. "Well, what's your solution, then?"

"Only one I can think of – after...we run."

Her eyes widened though the same thought had occurred to her too. "We just run?" she clarified.

He nodded. "I kill him. We find someone in the FBI we can trust, we tell them about Blake. And...we run."

"Where to?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. Somewhere they can't extradite us from. South America, somewhere like that, I guess."

"And what would we do there?"

He smiled softly at her and reached for her hand across the table. "We'd live, Teresa. Away from...murder and dead bodies...we'd just...live a quiet and normal life."

"Quiet and normal?" she said, the words frightening her instantly. "Sounds...boring."

He laughed and raised his eyebrows. "I'll make sure you're not bored. And it sounds peaceful to me. Restful. Don't you want that? Some quiet after all this...noise for so long?"

She shrugged noncommittally. "I don't know. Maybe for a while it'd be nice but I'm used to the noise. And what would we do there? We can't just sit on a beach all day for the rest of our lives, Jane."

"Why not? But we could travel a little-"

"I don't know," she said with more conviction. "It's...it's a big change to consider."

"I understand that," he said gently. "And I know you have your family to think about. It'd likely be a long time before it would be safe to see them again and you'd have to sneak into the country to do it. Or pay for them to visit us. If you don't want that, then there's only one other solution. I do what I need to do, I confess to it and go to prison for it."

"No!"

He rolled his eyes at her. "Well, then you tell me what the solution is, Lisbon, because I'm all out of ideas. You don't want to run but you don't want me to go to prison either. It's one or the other as I see it if you want us to be together."

"You going to prison isn't us being together, Jane. We'll think of something else. Something that means we don't have to upend our entire lives because of that son of a bitch."

"You really think that's going to happen? How?"

"I don't know but it _has_ to happen," she said with determination, "so we'll have to make sure it does."

The sound of her cell phone stopped their conversation. She glanced at it and said to Jane, "It's Walter."

"That was quick," he said with a frown. "I'm not sure if that bodes well or not because his answer will ultimately decide if the conversation we've just had was extremely premature."

She pressed the green answer button on her phone. "Hi, Walter."


	46. Chapter 46

Chapter 46 - Preparations

The cell phone reception was patchy in the diner so Lisbon slid out of the booth to take the call. Jane watched her through the window as she paced in front of it, the phone stuck to her ear.

"Everything okay?" Marcie asked him as she came to clear the table.

He turned from his reading of Lisbon's body language and addressed her with a smile. "Yes, lovely as ever, thank you."

She nodded towards Lisbon outside. "And how about things with your girl?"

He laughed softly at both her nosiness and the term she'd just used. "Better." He added quietly as he drained his cup, "I think."

She stopped putting dishes onto a tray and eyed him curiously. "You don't know for sure?"

Jane stacked the cup and saucer on the tray and shrugged. "It's...complicated. But better."

Marcie rolled her eyes. "Pfft. Complicated? That's what they say in the movies. You love her? Does she know that?"

"It's no wonder this place is dead if you're this nosy with all your customers," he replied with a smirk and a raised eyebrow.

She folded her arms across her buxom chest and stared him down. He laughed again. "Yes, I do and yes, she knows."

She studied him for a long moment before releasing her arms and continuing to clear the table. "Then everything else will fall into place," she told him as she lifted the tray and began striding towards the kitchen.

He glanced to his left again as Lisbon put her phone away and walked back towards the door. "I do hope you're right," he muttered to himself as he heard the bell over the door sound, marking her return.

Before she sat down, he stated, "He's in."

She slid back into her seat and nodded. "Yeah. The religious angle is a no go area obviously but he's been able to find some businesses Visualize are a front for."

"Bigger than Haffner's Security Company, presumably?"

"Much bigger. There are three or four larger corporations that Walter's been able to track down that have shareholders outside of Visualize members from what he can ascertain. They may have put up the money initially and have Stiles' people at the helm but they've been floated on the stock exchange to make more profit. So, therefore, their shareholders are more pliable to be approached. Assets amount to around ten million dollars."

Jane whistled. "Well, that should be enough to make Stiles sit up and pay attention. Mashburn will be able to make a start tonight on approaching the larger shareholders?"

"Yeah, in the next couple of hours." She laughed, "Actually, one of them is an electronics company and he said he wouldn't mind a chunk of that. Think he might make a serious bid for that one."

Jane shook his head. "Typical of Walter not to allow a golden opportunity to go to waste."

"Yeah, it is," she smiled.

"Thank you," he said sincerely.

She pulled her head back. "What are you thanking me for? It's Walter you should be thanking."

He curled an eyebrow. "Well, I'm sure he'll find some use for my talents at reading people next time he has a business opportunity where he needs to be certain those he's getting involved with are on the level. But Lisbon, if it wasn't for you, he'd never have gone for it. And...if I sensed correctly what I believe I witnessed when he called, he was reluctant until you talked him into it some more."

"No," she said immediately, earning her a disbelieving tilt of the head in return.

She relaxed her shoulders and shrugged. "Okay...maybe he was still a little...wary. But you can't blame him for that, Jane. It's incredibly risky-"

"The risk wasn't what made him uncertain. He thrives on that type of thing. He was worried about you. About...well, about how things will turn out for you after this is over." He bit the inside of his cheek. "He's worried about how you'll be treated by me."

"He was...is...but I told him that wasn't his concern or his business. I've never needed a man to look out for my best interests and I'm not starting now. With him or with you. I make my own choices in life."

A smile crept up on his lips as she became more animated. "Okay, Miss Independence," he teased. "I guess I'm still finding it hard to believe you've actually chosen me."

"Over Walter?"

"No. Just in general. But he does care for you, that much is certain."

"Probably only because I played hard to get."

"You know it's more than that."

She shrugged. Quietly, "He's a good man but he's not..." Her cheeks coloured as she picked at a crumb left on the table.

"Not what or should that be not who?" Jane pressed, grinning.

"Oh, shut up," she said, scattering the crumb to the floor and resting her hands on her lap while she glared at him. "You know what I'm trying to say, you jackass."

"I love you too, Teresa," he responded affectionately.

She coloured some more and then let go of a breath. "So no more stupid jealousy over Walter, am I clear?"

He nodded, still smiling smugly. "Crystal, my dear."

Her tone turned professional again. "He mentioned a business trip to Europe so I advised him to take an early flight to get out of California. Just to be on the safe side."

"Very wise. He agreed?"

"Yeah, he's on his way to his jet now." She checked her watch. "Probably already there. He said he'd start putting the play in motion when he was over the Mid West. So, couple of hours or so, something like that. How long do you think until Stiles hears what he's up to?"

"Not too long after. Okay then. I'll text Stiles when Walter's safe and sound and out of California."

She frowned. "Wait, you're going to tell Stiles before Walter does anything? Why?"

"Because then Stiles will know-"

"We have Mashburn on our side," she finished for him.

"Well, yours more than mine but yes, then when Stiles hears confirmation from his sources of Mashburn's intentions, Stiles will realise he acted at our behest."

She smiled and puffed out a breath. "We could have his name tomorrow, Jane. I can't quite believe how close we are." She squirmed a little in the booth before settling with her back to it and folded her arms across her chest. "You're going to see Stiles tomorrow?"

"If all goes to plan, yes," he replied, noticing her demeanour was distinctly confrontational and read where she was going with this conversation.

"Jane-"

"Of course you can come with me when I meet him," he said, answering her unspoken question.

She raised an eyebrow, surprised he'd given in so easily. "Oh, so I'm not benched this time?"

"I know he's not Red John, Lisbon. And...well, if he asks about Mashburn he'll realise it's no bluff when he looks into your eyes."

"Because I'm such a bad liar."

"Most of the time," he said with a nonchalant shrug.

As her expression turned worrisome over the secret she'd kept from him that had kept them apart for a year, he shook his head emphatically. "Like I told you, that's all in the past. I meant it. Let that go, Lisbon, I have."

She let go of a breath and smiled at him. "You might have your man this time tomorrow."

Jane shook his head slightly. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves just yet. I've thought I've been close before. One step at a time."

She yawned, "Okay, we all done here? I have to report in to Wainwright."

"Yeah, I'll get the check."

After paying their bill and saying their goodbyes to Marcie who stifled the pair of them in two bear hugs on their way out, Jane asked her as they approached the car, "What do you have to see Wainwright about?"

"Progress report. I owe him one. Now...what the hell do I tell him is another question?"

"The truth, or a close version of it. Tell him to hold off on questioning Stiles further about Forster's statement as we have another line of enquiry open and that you'll give him a better update tomorrow."

"Hmm, much what I thought. I hope he goes for it. I think Bertram's been on his back over this whole thing." She paused, "Jane...I think we can trust him...Wainwright, that is."

"Well, he's not Red John so-"

"How do you know that for sure?"

"Too young. Our esteemed young leader would have been a babe in arms when Stiles and Red John were friends. I got the impression they knew each other a long time ago."

Lisbon could have smacked herself for not figuring that out for herself sooner. "Of course. I guess that's something. I've been thinking about Blake-"

"Please, Lisbon, not yet. Let's wait. Okay?" he said as they got in the vehicle.

She nodded. "Yeah, you're right. It's just..."

"I know. It's frightening and we've no idea of the scale of it."

She sucked in a breath then released it as she shuffled into the driver's side. "Is that why you mentioned running away?" she asked him quietly. "Because you think there'll be nothing left for us here after Blake is exposed, anyway?"

He brought the seatbelt around his front and clicked it in place before turning to her. "It's not the only or main reason for running but...yes, I think it's highly possible the CBI could be shut down, depending on the level of corruption within its walls."

She placed her hands on the steering wheel and took a deep breath as she looked to the front. "Yeah, I'm afraid you're most probably right," she sighed as she started the engine.

* * *

After reporting to Wainwright, Lisbon met Jane back in her office again. "Okay, all done. He's not overjoyed but he could tell we have a major play going on with Stiles so said he'd give us another day. I could have used your help up there to sell it, though."

"Meh, knew you'd be able to swing it all on your own. Excellent then, we're covered. I called Cho, updated him too. He said Grace was much better, her speech is pretty much restored and they've started the physical therapy. By the way, Cho wants in on the meeting tomorrow with Stiles, assuming it's on. Told him he was more than welcome to come along and skulk in the shadows while we talk to Stiles."

Lisbon laughed as she picked up her jacket. Absently, "That's great news about Grace. So, how about Thai tonight? We could pick it up on our way hom-"

The word died in her mouth as she said it and she stood with her lips parted in mortification. She was about to attempt to backpeddle when the twinkle in Jane's eyes told her there was no point.

"It's just a turn of phrase," she said anyway as she shoved her jacket on and turned away from him. He came up behind her and lifted her hair trapped inside the leather, patting it down her back, his fingers trailing through it more slowly and tenderly than was strictly necessary. Suddenly his warm breath was tickling her ear. "And a very nice one it is, too," he said, pecking her cheek quickly before stepping back again.

"Actually, I thought maybe we could treat ourselves to some room service tonight," he said conversationally as he stood in front of the couch with his hands in his pockets while she gathered her belongings.

She frowned as she turned. "Room service?"

He shrugged as he looked out towards the bullpen, rocking on the balls of his feet. "Thought we could book into a nice hotel room tonight, treat ourselves for a change." His jovial tone softened to something quieter and a line appeared between his eyes. "Just well, tomorrow...well...tomorrow anything could happen."

She placed her hand on his elbow and made him turn around to look at her. "Everything is going to be okay tomorrow. As long as you don't go running off on your own once you know who it is, everything is going to work out fine. Okay?"

"Of course," he shrugged with a well practiced smile.

She shook her head at him, seeing right through his act of indifference. "No, Patrick. I'm serious. When Stiles gives you his name then we deal with it together. Or..." She licked her lips, trying to think of something to threaten him with that would ensure he didn't act alone when it came to killing Red John. She shook her head more vehemently. "Or..." Nothing was coming to mind and tears borne of frustration and worry pricked her eyes.

He placed his hands on her shoulders and squeezed them gently. "I promise I won't do this without you. We're partners, right?" he said softly.

She nodded and she let go of a breath. "You better not be lying to me, Patrick Jane, or so help me-"

"Hey, there's no need for threats of violence, Lisbon," he remarked with a broad smile.

She had no clue if he was being truthful with her but she'd have to give him the benefit of the doubt - although she'd watch him like a hawk if and when Stiles gave up Red John at the same time. She'd enlist Cho to handcuff him if she thought he was resolved to do this alone at any stage after that.

She asked him, "Then, what's this hotel room all about if it's not just because you think you're going to get yourself killed tomorrow?"

"Mashburn isn't the only one who might be targeted by Visualize once I send that text to Stiles in the next half hour. And I know we have security details but I'd rather not spend the night at yours or mine tonight. Safer elsewhere. And why not let it be a five star hotel with mints on the pillows?" he argued. He swallowed thickly and all humour left his voice. "And...we don't know what's going to happen tomorrow, Teresa. There's no point denying that fact, either."

She couldn't argue with him on that point. They might both be dead by the same time tomorrow. And if this was going to be her last night on earth, wrapped up in Jane's arms with cool Egyptian cotton sheets around them... well, that didn't sound like too bad a place to spend it at all.

* * *

They dropped their go bags as soon as they entered the suite Jane had paid for them. He'd counted out hundreds of dollars at the reception desk of the swish downtown Hotel and with every passing note, Lisbon had blushed redder. She felt like some kind of expensive call girl as she stood at his side, although the jeans and blouse combo bore no resemblance to what Julia Roberts wore in Pretty Woman.

He was being careful, he'd told her, and that meant no credit card use. But concierges and reception clerks even in a classy establishment such as the one they were in were still amenable to being paid off when the room was going to be empty anyway.

"Wow, this is so nice," Lisbon said as she walked towards the picture windows and gazed at the glittering lights of Sacramento beneath her.

Jane's eyes travelled to the king sized bed in the room and smiled. "Certainly is." He took his phone out. "Well, here we go," he said as he looked at the screen before pressing out a message to Stiles.

Lisbon turned around. "What did you say to him?"

"Just asked him if he ever heard of Walter Mashburn," he smiled. "Because he soon would." He turned his phone off and put it on the nightstand.

"You're not leaving it on?"

He shook his head, "Nah, let him sweat for the night. You have yours on if there's anything case or hospital rated."

She smiled and turned around again to admire the view. He came up behind her and she leaned into him as he put his arms around her waist and pulled her closer to his chest. "Hungry?" he asked, pecking her shoulder.

"Yeah," she replied, "starving."

"Even after that sandwich?" he asked, his hands slipping beneath her jacket and his fingers trailing the skin under her blouse.

"I didn't say I wanted food," she smiled, turning her head and finding his lips. He moaned into her mouth as she deepened it rapidly. "Thank god for that," he said, turning her quickly in his arms and yanking her jacket off her shoulders quickly. Once out of it, he pulled her forward and then backed her up against the nearest wall as he kissed her hungrily, his fingers searching for the buttons on her blouse. "I thought you didn't believe in god," she panted as his lips and tongue feverishly attacked her neck and collarbone.

"It's just a turn of phrase," he responded immediately, a smile in his voice as he repeated the same words she'd said to him earlier. He released a moan of contentment as he threw open her blouse and plunged his head between her breasts, darting his tongue out again and swishing and swirling it against the skin exposed on her belly as one hand dragged her bra upwards roughly to expose her breasts before he feasted on them. Lisbon gripped his hair tightly as she exposed her neck, the back of her head planted firmly against the wall as she groaned and writhed against him.

Her jeans were open an instant later and his right hand wove its way into her panties in what felt like less than a second later. He brought his face back up her body, pressing into her already almost limp body harder and harder as he sucked on the pulse point in her neck and nipped on its skin.

"Jesus," she let out, one hand going over her mouth to stifle the scream she was likely to make if he kept the pace up of what he was doing to her with his long fingers below. She had scarcely time to respond to one sensation before he assaulted her with a new wave of passion, his free hand going around her head and bringing her lips to his in earth shattering kisses she could barely react to. For a man who spent most of his existence in a sedentary position, he could move with the speed of a short distance runner when he wanted. Before she knew it, she was seeing stars and her hand went to still his below before she thought she would lose the ability to breathe, with the sound of Jane's heavy breathing in her ear the last thing she'd ever hear.

He stopped momentarily, softened his touches into teasing ones and kissed her tenderly to allow her to catch her breath.

"What was-"

She only had two words out before he picked up speed again and her head flopped back to the wall again with a ragged breath. After, he extricated his hand and she felt him lift her up as her legs almost gave way under the second torrent of heat that swept through her in less than a minute. He carried her, kissing her softly on her temple as he did so. If she could speak she may have protested at being carried in such a fashion but she could not.

Then she was placed gently on the bed and was vaguely aware of the rustling of clothes. She opened her eyes and found they were hers as Jane undressed her, kissing each patch of skin with soft kisses as he uncovered it. He quickly followed her when they'd locked eyes as he stood at the bottom of the bed and she'd grinned at him, unbelievingly ruffled and sexually satisfied quicker than she'd ever known before. Gaining some energy while he became as naked as she was, she rolled off the bed and pulled the covers away before getting in. As she'd hoped, cool white cotton sheets greeted her and she hummed accordingly.

She saw that same hunger in his eyes as he joined her under the covers that she'd experienced from him minutes before. He needed a release from thoughts of what might happen the following day and slow and tender sex wasn't going to accomplish that. Not yet tonight, anyway. Without words, she pulled him against her quickly and wrapped her legs around his waist, leaving him no more time for the preliminaries and no requirement for him to explain himself. He kissed her gently in appreciation of her understanding before he placed himself at her core and thrusted into her, fast and hard, immediately.

* * *

After, limbs intertwined and with glistening bodies, he lay with his head on her belly as she grazed her fingers through his curls lazily. One of his hands lay at her hip and the other lay in hers, caressing her knuckles.

"I'll find a way," he said, kissing her belly, after both of them lay in silence for a few minutes.

"Hmm?" she said, almost sleeping from their earlier exertions and the comfort they'd found with each other again.

He raised his head but merely turned it towards her before placing it back on her stomach, his eyes seeking hers though the valley of her breasts. "You don't want to go on the run, that's obvious. So I'll find another way where you won't have to."

"Where _we_ won't have to," she reminded him.

He laughed softly and brought her fingertips to his mouth, kissing them. "Yes, where _we _won't have to."

"How?"

He gave a half shrug. "I'll think of something, I always do."

"I hope you do," she responded. "Because I...I really don't want to live that way but, I guess, if there's no alternative..."

He moved and kissed her lips as he gently stroked her cheeks. "You won't have to. I promise I'll find a way, Teresa."

She kissed him back and they embraced. "I love you," she said quietly before she swallowed and squeezed him tight.

He pulled his head back and grinned victoriously at her, making her laugh as a tear rolled down her cheek. "I never stopped," she told him. She sniffed, "And believe me I tried," she laughed.

He chuckled, kissing her again. "I know. Me too," he said before he took her in his arms again.

* * *

**A/N: Apologies for this chapter, it was pretty much all filler but I had some ducks to line up as we head towards the finale. I'm writing for this story every chance I get now to get it finished very soon so there should be regular updates until I get there (probably another two chapters and epilogue to go after this one, I'm figuring). Then I'll get back to my other fics Broken and Reconnect. For those who haven't forgotten it, I also intend to pick up Destinies again once this one is out of the way (some of you have been asking me about it lately). **

**And thanks again to all of you still reading this marathon of a story, it means the world to me. Can't believe it's had over 1200 reviews (and most of them were even good ones!) Haven't had a chance to respond individually yet to those from last chapter but will do so very soon.**


	47. Chapter 47

Chapter 47 – Guns

Jane lay awake, his hands intertwined on top of his bare chest, and looked to the ceiling as Lisbon slept beside him. She wasn't having an altogether restful night's sleep either as every now and then her face would frown or she'd move to get comfortable. He'd stroked her hair until she settled again at his side with a sigh, instantly reminding him of doing the same to Charlotte when she'd had nightmares and had crept in beside him and Angela in the middle of the night. Tears pricked his eyes as his attention turned to the family he once had. He glanced at Lisbon again, the new family in his life now. Tomorrow - or today he reminded himself as he glanced at clock beside him that read 4.42 – might finally herald the point where he looked more ahead than behind for the first time in years. Where he could imagine a future and plan it with the woman beside him than dwell on the past. He'd made progress, certainly, and knew he wanted Teresa Lisbon at the forefront of any future he could have for a long time, even if he'd tried to deny that truth for a year. But they'd always had that Red cloud hanging over them and only allowed themselves to plan so far. Even now their future was fluid, but their actions in the next day or so would decide what came next for them. He'd promised her she wouldn't have to run and she'd made him promise he wouldn't go to prison. He closed his eyes and thought hard. Gradually an inkling of an idea came to mind. But, as ever with any plan, luck would have to play its part too.

"You can't sleep?" she asked sleepily at his side with a yawn, throwing a leg over his and snuggling closer.

He kissed the top of her head. "Just thinking, go back to sleep. It's still early."

She yawned again then moved to turn on the light beside her. "Can't sleep anymore either." She sighed and ran a hand down her face. "Well, I better make myself useful," she said as she got out of bed and looked for something to wear.

Jane smiled as he cracked an eye open and saw her shapely behind as she bent down to grab her blouse from the floor. "What are you going to do?"

Her blouse thrown on, she lifted her go bag and rifled through it to find her guns. His eyes widened. "Three guns, seriously, Lisbon?"

She shrugged. "Last thing you want to do is run out of bullets or have to reload your weapon if it turns into a firefight, Jane."

"What do you think the end of Red John is going to look like, woman?" he asked, shaking his head.

"I don't know but I'm taking no chances." She took out her gun cleaning equipment and brought it and the guns back to the bed. Jane looked at them disdainfully. She bit down on her bottom lip. "We probably should get you an unregistered weapon for...well-"

"I already have one. It's in my bag."

Now it was her turn to look surprised. "Where did you get that?"

He shrugged, "Probably better you don't know."

"And when were you going to tell me about it?"

Another shrug. "When the time was right."

"You mean when I brought the subject up?" she glared.

He beamed a smile at her. "Will you check it for me, make sure it's in working order?"

She rolled her eyes but acquiesced. Soon she was sitting on the bed rigorously cleaning every millimetre of the guns as Jane ordered an early breakfast for them. He looked at her, the line between her eyes as she focused, humming happily to herself as she went about one of her favourite past times. They both had their coping mechanisms for the day ahead. His would more than likely involve bouts of introspection coupled with copious tea drinking and hers included involving herself in more practical matters.

"Hand me your bullets, assuming you remembered to get some," she said with a smirk.

He passed a box to her and, as he turned his phone on, noticed her wiping them clean with a cloth before inserting them into the chamber.

"Clever," he supplied.

She shrugged, not looking at him but concentrating on what she was doing instead, "You have any idea of the number of people arrested who wiped the guns they used clean but forget about fingerprints on the casings? I mean, I know we don't know how it's going to go down yet but no point making it easy for people to identify you."

Finished, she handed the gun over and locked eyes with him. Quietly, "You should get a feel for it; make sure you're comfortable with using it."

He nodded and looked at the gun in his hand. He'd used a handgun on Carter so he was hardly an amateur at killing a man with one. "Thanks," he said. "You really okay with all this?" he asked seriously, still staring at the weapon.

She nodded. "It has to be done, doesn't it?"

"Yes, it does."

"Then I'm fine," she said, nodding to him with seriousness.

He placed the gun on the nightstand as she replaced her weapons in her bag. The sound of his phone alerting them to a voicemail caught their attention and he put it on loudspeaker as they listened to it. The unmistakable British accent of Bret Stiles came over the speaker.

"_Well, Patrick, my boy. It appears you have friends in high places. Although I really should be congratulating Agent Lisbon as it was, no doubt, her influence that allowed you to make this particular play. So, bravo to both of you for forcing my hand. Let's meet again and see if we can come up with some amicable solution to this rather unseemly mess you've got me into. Call me back at your earliest convenience."_

Lisbon cocked her head at Jane as he tapped a finger to his lips. "Well?" she asked when he said nothing straight away.

He tilted his head. "He's not sure if this is a bluff like Forster. Mashburn has no doubt made some ripples for him but he's unsure of the influence we hold over his actions. Stiles is uncertain how far he's willing to go. If he's merely making life difficult for him or if Walter is willing to put his money where his mouth is." He added with a smirk. "But he's unsettled, that's for sure. His tone was much too genial...almost bordering on amused. Means he's rattled and feels backed into a corner."

"I don't know if that's a good or a bad thing. When people feel backed into corners sometimes they come out fighting."

"It'll be fine," he told her. "There's an easier way out of this than killing us. Too many repercussions and he knows it would probably make Mashburn come at him harder if you were harmed, in particular, now he's done a little research of his own. Not to mention it would give the CBI and the FBI more evidence of his involvement with Red John, especially in light of Forster's recent statement." Jane laughed, "Harming us would actually make that false statement bear more weight, if anything. And hell, people would believe far more strongly he is Red John if he or one of his people killed me."

"God, I hope you're right."

He took a deep breath and squeezed her hand. Smiling, "I am. We have him, Lisbon. The only way out of this is for him is to tell us who Red John is. I'm sure of it."

She frowned at him slightly, "So, if all that's true and you don't believe we are or were in any danger from Visualize why did we have to spend the night here?"

He grinned and kissed her. "You didn't like the bed, the room service at two am?"

She rolled her eyes. In all her days she figured she'd never work out how his mind worked. He certainly always kept things interesting.

* * *

They sat on the same bench Jane had occupied from his last meeting with Stiles, having set up a meeting with him two hours before. Jane had placed his jacket at his side and lifted his head towards the sun. Lisbon shuffled nervously beside him, her eyes scanning all around them for possible snipers. He took her hand and squeezed it. "Relax, it's going to be fine," he said lazily, looking incredibly relaxed to almost anyone watching. But Lisbon noticed his other hand was flinching slightly as he played with his fingertips, denoting he wasn't as calm as he appeared. She supposed he needed to look that way in case any of Stiles' men were watching, and was required to appear to have the upper hand.

"What if he tells you the wrong name?" she asked him, that thought suddenly occurring to her.

"Hmm...you mean tell me the name of someone he wants killed and not Red John?"

"You've thought about that already?"

He turned towards her. "It's possible he might try something like that. He's a slippery customer, after all. Not exactly the trustworthy sort."

"So?"

He shrugged. "Well, I'm not just about to kill a man on his say-so. I'll need proof...evidence, if you like, that the name he gives me is Red John before I do anything. But I'm trusting Stiles knows me well enough by now to know I'm not stupid enough to fall for that trick and I'll see through it if he even makes an attempt at it."

"I wish he'd just told you over the phone so we could avoid this meeting entirely."

"No doubt he wants to try to make the same deal I offered him the other day that he turned down. And well, it's easier for me to read whether he's telling me the truth or not in person than over the phone."

"The deal was for you to find whatever Red John has on Stiles and give it to Stiles before you kill him?"

"Yep."

"You going to agree to that?"

Jane's eyes twinkled at her. "I'll tell him whatever he wants to hear to get Red John's name."

She smirked back. "But you don't intend to follow through on that agreement, obviously."

He shook his head. "He had his chance."

Lisbon's eyes squinted and her stomach tightened. "Here he comes," she nodded as she watched Stiles walk the path that ran around the lake they were sitting opposite. "Cho, be on the lookout for anything suspicious," she said, touching her earpiece.

Her second in command replied, "All set, boss. Looks clear so far."

Jane and Lisbon got to their feet when the Brit was about twenty feet away. Jane's lips quirked upwards and he gripped the jacket in his hand. "He's going to tell us. 100%, Lisbon."

"Don't be so cocky. And how do you know that from here?" she whispered, her eyes set on the man in the white suit approaching them slowly.

"His pace, for one. He's in no rush to speak to us. Also, slight slumping of the shoulders-"

Lisbon's ears pricked up as she heard a loud crack in the air near them. Jane stopped talking upon hearing the same sound, his mouth gaping open as Stiles was suddenly hit by a projectile on his right side, sending him to the ground in a heap.

"Gun!" Lisbon roared, unholstering her weapon and sending park goers fleeing in all directions. Jane bounded towards Stiles who lay on the path, blood gushing out of his right side staining the pavement beside him.

"Jane!" she screamed at the top of her voice as another shot rang through the air and pinned Jane from coming any closer to Stiles' quivering body, forced back by the bullet that grazed him on his left upper arm.

Another two rapid cracks like fireworks followed and Stiles' body bounced off the ground with the force of the shots pummelled into him. Lisbon, breathing heavily, rushed towards Jane, his hand on his upper arm, red seeping through his white shirt.

"You jackass!' she yelled, attempting to pull him towards the tree line as Cho ran towards them both from his vantage point behind them.

Jane shook her off and pushed himself forward towards Stiles with a grimace. "He's done shooting!" he told her, glancing in the direction the shots had come in. She glared at him but nodded then glanced at Cho, "Go after the shooter." She pointed in the same direction Jane had. "Can't have gone far. But be careful!"

He took off before she had the last words out. She and Jane reached Stiles, his eyes blinking wide in utter surprise as he looked upwards. Lisbon assessed the damage quickly, knowing there was nothing that could be done and that he'd already lost too much blood as it seeped scarlet through the whiteness of his suit. His breaths were uneven; his lungs already filling with blood and some gathered at his mouth.

"Who is he?" Jane urged, hovering over him and panting wildly. "Bret, please. Tell me who he is."

Stiles blinked, recognising the man in front of him with a slight furrow of his brow. Jane nodded, took the other man's hand and squeezed it as Lisbon watched on. "It's not too late," Jane told him softly. "It's not too late to do something good."

A pained smile came to Stiles' lips and his eyes began to flutter closed. "No, stay with me," Jane commanded, squeezing his hand again. "Damn it! Stay with me!"

The white haired man's eyes opened briefly and he attempted to swallow, blood rushing through his mouth in place of air. He made a gurgling sound as if trying to speak. "Yes," Jane said. "Go on, you can do it."

Stiles' eyes widened abruptly and, after a last apologetic glance at Jane, then closed for the final time.

* * *

**A/N: I know, I'm sorry but I couldn't resist the cliffhanger but the good news is that next chapter is almost written already so story will be updated very soon. **


	48. Chapter 48

Chapter 48 - A Long Shot

Jane rocked back on his rear and dropped Stiles' hand. He appeared to have no awareness of his injury and instead continued to stare despondently at the lifeless body beside him. Lisbon swallowed hard at the dejection she was witnessing and bent down to try to catch his eyes. Softly, "Come on, there's nothing else you can do here. He's gone, Jane."

He continued to gaze at the body. "He knew who he was and he was going to tell me. I'm sure of it, Lisbon," he said quietly. "But Red John must have figured out he was going to talk. Either by following us...or him-"

A cell phone sounded in Stiles' pocket. With a heavy heart Jane prodded his way through the slick red to retrieve it from the dead man's inside jacket pocket. He glanced at Lisbon, the first time he'd looked at her since Stiles had been killed. She blinked at the tiredness and defeat in his eyes, her breath catching in her throat. Both knew who the caller was likely to be. "Don't answer it, don't give him the satisfaction," she said softly with a shake of her head.

But a second later he couldn't help himself and answered the call, putting it on speaker as he sighed. A nasally laugh filled the eerie silence around them in the park, now devoid of people after the shooting. "Did you really think I wouldn't be one step ahead, Patrick?" Red John taunted, followed by another laugh. "Now what, my friend? I'd say that was check in this game of chess, wouldn't you? Now just to capture your Queen before the White King is checkmated. Shame about poor Bret, though. We used to be so close."

Jane's eyes flickered immediately to Lisbon at the threat to her life before the call disconnected. "He's messing with you. Nothing is going to happen to me," she said to him. "Don't let him get into your head."

"Bit late for that," he said quietly, worry etched on his face for her safety. Cho came hammering back towards them, out of breath. "No sign of the shooter."

Jane chuckled humourlessly and got to his feet, wiping the backs of his pants and dropping the phone to the ground. "Well, of course there isn't," he said with a bite to his words, utter devastation turning quickly to anger.

Lisbon addressed Cho. "Call it in. Stay here and cordon off the scene. Make sure you get people here you can trust. Tell Wainwright I'll call him later with a full report."

"What'll I tell him until then?"

She shrugged, "As little as possible. Tell him I ordered you to come here for back up but didn't tell you why we were meeting Stiles."

"Boss-"

"Kimball, please. Tell him you don't know anything and were acting on my orders. I'll...I'll figure out what to tell him later on."

As Cho got on his phone, she said to Jane, "Come on, we need to get you to the Hospital. We can make our statements after, once we decide how much information we're planning on sharing with Wainwright in light of this."

"I don't need to go to the hospital, I was barely nicked. I'm fine," he snapped back at her.

"No, you're not. You've been shot, you damn idiot. You're just too hyped up on adrenalin to feel it at the moment."

He bore down on her and she raised a defiant eyebrow when she saw he was about to release the frustration and rage he felt towards her in place of where he actually wanted it. He took a large breath and nodded an apology for his earlier tone.

"We'll find another way," she told him, although her cadence sounded more crushed than hopeful.

"Yeah," he said, the word coming out over a long moment with a sigh. He pressed his right hand to his left where he'd been grazed. "Starting to hurt."

"Yeah, walking into bullets flying will do that to you," she said, glaring at him.

"I wasn't thinking," he said with a shrug.

"No, you rarely do where he's concerned," she glowered.

He rolled his eyes. "Any chance of me getting some painkillers before you yell at me some more over this?"

"Jane, if I had done something as stupid as that-"

"I know. I'm sorry, okay? Sorry," he said with a weary sigh as he raked his right hand over his face.

Any other day she most probably would have continued in her rant but he'd lost enough already today. They both had. She could admonish him for putting himself in harm's way another time.

"You'll go to the hospital, no complaints?"

He frowned at her and then nodded slowly. "Yes, we have to go to the hospital now."

She frowned back, worried by how he'd just worded himself. "Jane, are you okay? You might be in shock."

"Let's go to the hospital, Lisbon."

* * *

He hadn't agreed to the no complaints rule and Lisbon listened to him berate the nurse who was attempting to stitch him up in the emergency room. "Jane," she said, pulling back the curtain between them roughly and shooting him a death glare.

"Sorry," she added to the nurse, apologising for his behaviour with her eyes. "He's a pain in the ass."

"It's okay," the nurse assured her, "the men are always the worst when it comes to a little pain. Little kids act tougher than they do," the rounded woman in her mid fifties informed her.

"Thank you, Nurse Ratchet," Jane said pointedly in her direction as she secured a bandage on his upper arm. It only ensured she pulled on it tighter and he scowled in Lisbon's direction with an eye roll. She shot him an unimpressed look back that said, 'well, what do you expect if you insult her?'

Smartly choosing silence until the nurse had finished with him, Jane bounded off the stretcher without another glance at her. "Satisfied now? I'm all patched up," he said to Lisbon instead.

"Fine."

As they reached the corridor the morning's events hit her squarely. "You okay?" she asked with concern, glancing at his arm.

"It's just a flesh wound, I'm fine," he said softly.

They stopped walking and she shook her head at him. "Now what the hell do we do? He was our last hope of this nightmare being over soon."

Jane bit the inside of his cheek and moved them towards a quiet corner. "Not quite," he said gently.

"What do you mean?"

His eyes darted upwards and she continued to frown before she realised where he was going with this. Of course, their colleague who was recuperating three floors up. She shook her head. "No, Jane. Grace doesn't even remember anything about that night and...and he wore a mask in any case-"

"You know I can help her remember. And, even if she never saw his face, he would have spoken to her. I'm sure of that. He may have let something slip about who he is...look, I admit...it's a slim chance he did that but-"

"We can't do that to her, Jane. She's lucky he didn't kill her, for Christ's sake. We can't make her relive that night when it's this much of a long shot!"

Her raised voice attracted some attention from passersby and he lowered his tone but fixed his eyes on her steadily, coming closer to her face. "You think I want to do this, Teresa? I could have suggested this days ago but I didn't. I held back. I-we've tried everything else. We're out of options now. It's time to try."

"No, I can't allow it. Not until we have time to regroup, think things through. Maybe look at traffic cam footage around the park-"

Abruptly, he left her while she spoke, walking briskly towards the elevator instead and jabbed at the button with the arrow facing upwards. He shook his head slightly at her as she followed him. He sighed, "I'm sorry, but it's not your decision, Lisbon. It's hers."

* * *

"I want to try," Van Pelt said to Jane as he stood by her bedside. Lisbon hovered at the back of the room, uneasy with the entire situation and still annoyed that Jane hadn't taken some more time before he'd acted and made the request. She knew why, of course. Red John's words that he was coming for her had pushed him into a last ditch attempt at finding a quick solution. Rigsby's eyes flashed wide at Jane's appeal to hypnotise his fiancée and he shook his head. "No, Grace. You don't need that kind of stress on your mind, sweetheart, you've only just got your speech back."

"I know what I'm doing," Jane told him. Softer, "I promise I'll be careful with her. If anything, she'll feel better, not worse. She's stronger now...she can handle it."

"Wayne, it's not up to you," the redhead said to Rigsby. She looked at Jane again. "You think I can help?"

He shrugged. "I...I don't know for sure but...I'm out of ideas presently. Stiles was my major play and...I have nothing else." He shrugged.

"Boss?" Van Pelt said, raising her head towards Lisbon who, in turn, walked closer to the bottom of the bed. "What do you think?"

Rigsby looked at her with the same question in his eyes. Some days she hated being the one in charge. She glanced quickly at Jane who was pleading to her with his eyes to allow him to try this course of action. "He'll make sure you're okay," she said to Van Pelt. "He'll make it like you weren't even there but watching it on television."

Jane let go of a breath and nodded his thanks to her. She told him with a hard look back that he better do just as she had promised.

"Okay, then," Van Pelt said with a small smile. She said to Jane. "Let's get started."

He smiled at her. "All right." He looked to Lisbon and Rigsby. "I need the room."

Rigsby started, "No-"

"You're a distraction," Jane told him. "The best way this works is with absolute quiet and Grace will focus better on my voice if we're alone."

"It's okay, Wayne," Van Pelt said to her fiancé. "Jane knows what he's doing."

"I do," he said to Rigbsy.

Seeing the tall agent was still uncomfortable, Lisbon stepped in. "Come on, let's get you a sandwich or something, let's leave Jane to it."

"Thank you," Jane said to her sincerely as she ushered Rigsby out of the room a few moments later.

"Be careful with her," she commanded him in response.

* * *

"Well, that's better," Jane smiled at Van Pelt as he pulled a chair up to her good side. "So, how are you doing, haven't had much time to talk to you lately."

"I'm okay. The morphine here is pretty good."

He grinned, "It is. I got a shot of it myself today."

She nodded to his upper arm. "First gunshot wound, eh? You're a real cop now," she smiled.

He laughed. "Hardly. And it wasn't like I got it doing something courageous, just something incredibly stupid."

"Lisbon's pissed with you about that."

He nodded and bit the inside of his cheek. "Yeah, but don't worry. Just temporarily but I'm willing to pay my penance for however long it lasts," he smiled. More seriously, "Actually we're good, I took your advice."

She suddenly noticed his wedding ring finger was bare and her eyes widened. "You took off your ring! So that means...?"

He smiled again. "Some detective you are, it's been off my hand for days now."

"Yeah, been kinda busy," she said with a roll of her eyes.

"Oh? Doing anything nice?" he grinned.

She started to chuckle then clutched her stomach. "God, don't make me laugh. Hurts."

"Sorry," he said softly. "I'll help you with some pain relieving exercises when I'm through. And, to answer your question, yes. Lisbon and I are together again. Like you noticed it's a little tense presently but just due to current circumstances. We're both on edge after this morning."

"You'll work through it; just have to keep talking to each other. And no secrets this time."

"Okay, Doctor Phil," he smiled. Then, with a deep breath, he asked her soberly, "You sure about doing this? It'll probably be a waste of time."

She nodded. "I want him caught. And if there's a chance I can help with that, then it's worth whatever I have to go through."

"Okay. Thank you, Grace."

She smiled then dropped it. "I can't believe Stiles is dead." She sighed. "He was always nice to me. Well, you know, for a cult leader," she shrugged.

Jane chuckled. "Yeah, apart from the mind control and the murderous background, he was a swell guy."

"Point taken. So how do we do this?"

Jane took a deep breath. "Just close your eyes, relax and listen only to the sound of my voice..."

* * *

"What's happening in there?" Rigsby asked Lisbon as they waited in the hospital corridor. He'd already eaten the sandwich she'd procured for him in two bites and was now pacing outside Van Pelt's room.

"Leave them to it. Can't interrupt them now, not if he has her under."

She glanced at her phone and at Wainwright's number as it flashed up for the fourth time in ten minutes. She hit decline again and rubbed a hand down her face. Visualize's leader getting gunned down in front of CBI agents was a shitstorm of epic proportions. There was only so much time she could hide out at the hospital before she faced the music.

The door opened and Jane walked out, nodding to both of them. "Well?" two faces asked him in unison.

He shook his head and sighed. "Sorry. Nothing that can identify him," he said with a shrug.

Lisbon's shoulders slumped. "Crap."

"Is she okay?" Rigsby asked.

Jane nodded, "She's fine. Go and see for yourself."

As Rigsby made his way back into the room, Lisbon sighed loudly. "I'm so sorry," she said to him. "I know I wasn't in favour of it but-"

"It's okay," he said, smiling at her faintly. "It was a long shot," he shrugged.

"We need to face the music with Wainwright," she said. "Give our statements about Stiles. Visualize will be going ape about this."

"Oh, yeah," he said, looking down at his shoes. "I guess so." He looked down the corridor. "Before all of that, I could use a cup of tea, would you mind? Arm's a little sore."

"Sure," she smiled. "Though the machine stuff on this floor is pretty crap, why don't we go to the cafeteria, talk about next steps?"

"Nah, machine is fine. Just need a minute on my own, too, if you don't mind. Been a long morning."

"I understand," she said softly, touching his hand. She attempted a breezy tone. "Okay, one cup of dishwater coming right up."

He smiled back at her and squeezed her hand before she strode off towards the vending machine at the end of the corridor. Once her back was turned, the smile fell from his lips. He looked at the doors in the other direction and, after a deep breath, began to make his way towards them. Ten steps later he stopped short of them and blinked. "What the hell are you doing?" he muttered to himself. Van Pelt's words and his own conscience pricked at him as he hovered in front of them.

"No," he told himself with a shake of his head, turning swiftly on his heels and heading back the way he came. He caught up with Lisbon as she spooned sugar into her coffee at a table beside the vending machine.

She barely looked him. "Jeez, give me a chance. I haven't even got your tea yet-" Then she read his agitated demeanour, the flush of his cheeks. "What is it? Is it Grace? Did you push her too far-?"

"She's fine," he said quickly. "Although I did make her forget again what she remembered, probably should mention that before I go on."

She shook her head at him, frowning, "What the hell-?"

Her eyes popped. "Oh my god, she remembered something! What is it!?"

A triumphant glimmer of a smile broke out on his lips and he paused for dramatic effect, forever the showman. Finally he declared, "I know who he is, Lisbon. I know who Red John is."

The mirrored smile that broke out on hers soon disappeared. "You weren't going to tell me, were you? You were going to go after him on your own. Damn it, Jane!-"

"I didn't though." He shrugged and shot her a sheepish glance. "Old habits die hard, I guess." He added, "I'm sorry. But only for a minute or two, I swear. Don't I get points for that?"

"Do you get points for doing what you should have done in the first place? Is that seriously what you're asking me?"

"Well, it's an improvement on what I might have done a while back, right?" he smiled.

Her head was in a spin and she emitted a small laugh in spite of her irritation. "I seriously give up with you sometimes. So?" she pressed. "Who is he? Tell me."

* * *

**A/N: Last chapter coming up next! Hopefully in a few days if I can keep up this pace up. Then an epilogue to tie this one up.**


	49. Chapter 49

**A/N: Before you read this chapter I need to issue an apology. It is NOT the final chapter as advertised. There will be one (or perhaps even two) more. I mistakenly believed I could pack everything I wanted to say into one but it seems I miscalculated my ability to be concise (lesson learned in false advertising!) I'm sorry and I hope you don't mind this story trucking on for another couple of chapters, I know it's already far outstayed its welcome and I really do appreciate your support in hanging in there for so long. But thought it better to take my time and tell the full story I'd planned than rush the ending with questions left unanswered. Thank you.**

* * *

Chapter 49 – Planting Seeds

"Lisbon, Jane, there you both are. You really think this is the time to ignore my phone calls, Lisbon?" their boss snapped. Wainwright was out of his desk chair as soon as Jane and Lisbon had filed into his office and stood with his hands on his hips, glaring at them.

"Sorry, boss, had to make sure I took Jane to the Hospital after he was injured," Lisbon replied, contrition in her voice.

"She knows me well enough to know I'd never go there on my own," Jane shrugged with a smirk. "Had to be dragged there kicking and screaming."

Wainwright nodded for them to sit down and sighed. "You okay?" he asked Jane, "Cho said it was barely a scratch."

The consultant rolled his eyes theatrically and was about to respond in a way that was the opposite of his colleague's version of the event but Lisbon, sensing this was the case, cut in swiftly, "He's fine."

"I'm fine - apparently," Jane said at her side with a sideways glance at her.

"So, what the hell happened?" Wainwright asked, focusing on Lisbon again. "Visualize are going berserk over this-"

"You going to let them push you around?" Jane interjected. "Come on, Luther. Tell them it's our investigation, not theirs. Time to step up and put on the big boy pants."

Wainwright barked, "If it's all the same to you, Jane, I'll be the one to handle the politics involved here, not you."

Jane held his hands up. He grinned. "Fair enough. Go get 'em, tiger."

"So, what happened?" Wainwright asked Lisbon once more, shooting Jane a dirty look and choosing to ignore his last remark.

She glanced at Jane quickly who walked over to the office blinds in Wainwright's office and closed them. Lisbon removed an electronic sweeping device from her purse and her boss's eyebrows hit his forehead. As he was about to speak, Jane put a finger up to his lips in a shushing gesture, his expression commanding. Wainwright's jaw snapped shut again and he proceeded to frown until Lisbon had finished her sweep of his office.

"It's clear," she told Jane as she put the device away again.

"What on earth is going on!?" Wainwright exclaimed at both of them.

"Before we continue, we need to see your left shoulder," Jane said, all amusement gone from his voice.

Wainwright let out a short chuckle. "This is not the time for one of your games, Jane." He looked at Lisbon who shrugged. She said, "We're not joking. Although...I can certainly see why you may think that might be the case."

He looked from one to the other with his mouth open, evidently wondering if both of them had lost their minds entirely.

"This isn't a joke, Luther," Jane added seriously. "Believe me, it's the last thing it is. It's in relation to Red John and I never joke where he's concerned. Unless...unless there's a reason why you don't want to show us..."

"Red John? I haven't the faintest idea what you're talking about."

"Please, sir. It's important. We'll explain after," Lisbon pressed.

"And I promise it'll be worth the explanation," Jane commented. "And in your best interests."

Studying the pair of them for another long moment to decide if they were on the level, Wainwright finally rolled his eyes and began to loosen his tie. "I swear, if this is one of your pranks, Jane-"

"Any prank that would involve me seeing your pasty white skin isn't one I'd get any amusement from, Luther," Jane remarked. Lisbon glared at him and shook her head at his inability to keep his mouth shut even when people complied with what he wanted them to do.

After unbuttoning a few top buttons, Wainwright pulled his shirt off his left shoulder. Gleaming white skin shone back at Lisbon and Jane who, in turn, took deep breaths of relief.

"Thank you," Lisbon said to her boss as she looked to her lap. "I'm sorry you had to do that."

He flushed a little in response, embarrassed for his employee to see him in such a state of undress. Gruffly, "Now you owe me that explanation," he said, as he fixed his shirt and tie before sitting back in his chair.

After another glance at Jane who nodded in return, Lisbon began. "We haven't just been hunting Red John the last few days. We've been informed there's a corrupt organisation within Californian Law Enforcement. It might even spread further than that. We've learned that Red John is part of it. We're not certain at this stage what level his involvement is but we're pretty sure it's quite high ranking. The reason we had to check your shoulder is that members have a tattoo placed there...three dots. We had to know you were clean before we spoke to you further about this."

He frowned. "Red John works in Law Enforcement?"

"Yes, it would appear so," Jane commented with a small shrug, his expression unreadable.

Wainwright's brow furrowed further and he leaned forward. Any humiliation he'd felt a few moments prior had been forgotten. He spoke to Lisbon again. "How did you come by this information?"

"A...variety of sources. I can explain everything at a later stage but not right now."

"You believe this corruption has spread to the CBI?"

"Yes, we're certain of it. FBI too, most probably. Jeff Forster informed us about it though he's only a bit player from what we can ascertain. But he told us that they call themselves - The Blake Association."

Wainwright's frown deepened. "Blake Association? You're sure? It wasn't a trick or a lie on his part to pass some off blame for the attack on Van Pelt?"

"He was telling us the truth. Members complete favours for each other. When one is in trouble, other members get them out of it. To be frank, we have no idea how many members there are...or what crimes they've committed and had covered up. Or how long this has been going on or how high up it goes. We've barely scratched the surface."

Wainwright anxiously played with a pen on his desk. He swallowed hard before he frowned. "Hang on, there was no mention of this...Blake thing...in Forster's statement against Stiles."

"We had him omit that part from his statement," Jane said as he came to stand beside Lisbon who'd taken the seat opposite Wainwright. He shrugged. Smoothly, "For his own personal safety, naturally. Until we were sure we could find someone at a higher level to trust with this information, we didn't want it to become public knowledge."

His boss raised a sceptical eyebrow. "Still doesn't explain why you didn't make me go through that ...test you just set me...days ago...and somehow, I doubt whether you care much about the wellbeing of someone who had a hand in the attack on your colleague." He puffed out a breath. "So, Stiles, where does - or should I say did - he fit in?"

Lisbon licked her lips nervously and swallowed. "We had Forster incriminate him in his statement. He...he wasn't the one who was asked to be informed of Rigsby's comings and goings that night. Red John or one of his confederates did. It wasn't Stiles. We just had Forster say it was."

Their boss leaned back in his chair and shook his head at both of them, aghast. "So...let me get this straight. You...had a man lie about something you knew wasn't true and...you had him omit something that was?" His eyes travelled to Lisbon's as his head continued to shake. "I don't even know where to begin with you, Lisbon. You call that detective work?"

"We did what had to be done at the time," Jane interjected. "It was the best course of action available to us. And it was necessary to get to the truth. We needed something on Stiles and Forster was a means of opening that dialogue."

"Why?!"

"Because he knows - well knew - who Red John was. We needed leverage for him to talk. He didn't bite at first but then we added to the pressure-"

"Legally, by some other means than Forster's statement," Lisbon butted in. "But that's not important. The only person we manipulated was Forster in this whole thing and we've kept him safe despite his involvement with Van Pelt's attack. I'm not apologising for the subterfuge. Like Jane said, at the time it was necessary."

"Stiles really knew him? You're sure?"

"Yes, 100 per cent," Jane answered.

Wainwright rubbed his forehead with a heavy sigh. "And where did all this get you, huh?" he muttered quietly, without looking at either one of them. "Because Stiles is dead now and if he gave up Red John before that happened, no doubt you'd be after him and not sitting here and talking about it with me."

Lisbon and Jane locked eyes before Jane pronounced, "Actually, we do know who he is."

Wainwright's eyes shot up to meet Jane's. "Stiles talked before he died?"

"Something like that." There was no point in bringing Van Pelt's name into this and add to the threat to her life by one of Red John's people if news spread to that effect.

Wainwright, suddenly animated and a tad surprised by Jane's apparent openness, said, "So...okay...okay...good...then we get a team together-"

"No," Jane said with finality.

"Excuse me?"

"We've just informed you about a corrupt organisation Red John is a member of. We keep the circle small on who knows about this, for now. Until we catch Red John. And I'm not telling you his name. Not yet. Once he's dealt with, then we increase the circle and you decide who you can trust about Blake."

"Jane, you can't decide-"

"Yes, I can," the blond told him. "Otherwise Blake will go back into the shadows and you'll never catch Red John. Only we know where Forster is and we can have him in Mexico by morning and you'll have lost your chance at uncovering more. And Red John's a career maker. As is Blake. We do this our way." He glanced sideways at Lisbon, "If it were up to me I wouldn't have told you any of this but...Lisbon persuaded me to come clean with you before we pursue him with the help of people we know we can count on. She said I could trust you and I very much hope that's true, Luther. Because we're trusting you to keep quiet about this. For now."

Lisbon glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. Their coming here was a small part of Jane's larger plan and not her idea at all. It sometimes worried her how easy he could lie so effortlessly.

Wainwright still looked more than irritated that Jane was backing him into a corner so Jane added, "Who did you tell about our meeting with Stiles? Bertram, I'm guessing?"

"Well...yes...he's been looking progress reports every half hour since Forster's statement so I told him you were hoping to meet with him today-"

He stopped talking, realising the implication that the Director of the CBI could somehow be involved in Stiles' murder and form part of the conspiracy they'd just mentioned. Jane smiled faintly at him. "You see how small we need to keep this circle now?"

"You know I'm not Blake. Yet you still won't tell me who Red John is?"

"No, not yet. Not until I've talked to him first."

Wainwright narrowed his eyes at him. "Talk? You really expect me to believe that's all you intend to do to the man after all these years hunting him?" He glanced at Lisbon. "You're an accessory to murder, if you follow this course of action," he told her. "It's not just your career you're throwing away if you let Jane kill him, it's your life too and I can't stand for it. I won't lie for either one of you over it."

"Jane isn't going to kill him. He just wants to have a conversation face to face before we arrest him. He's owed that after all this time, wouldn't you say?" Lisbon said with a straight face.

"You're crazy if he has you believing that, Agent. He's made no secret of the fact-"

"I've changed my mind," Jane interrupted. He glanced down at Lisbon and turned his tone softer. "I'm not ready to throw my life or hers away on fruitless revenge. Not anymore. He doesn't deserve that satisfaction." He stared at Wainwright again. Sincerely, "We'll hand him over to you on a silver platter when I've said what I need to say to him privately. I promise you that. Just allow us a day to do that and say nothing about Blake in the meantime. And...you may even get Blake tied up in a nice little bow too if we catch a break."

"I'll stop Jane from killing him if I have to," Lisbon assured Wainwright when she saw he was wavering.

"You won't have to," Jane said firmly, squeezing her shoulder affectionately.

"Well, it appears I don't have much choice," Wainwright said after a long sigh, still perturbed and highly suspicious of Jane's promise. "Why'd you even tell me this if there's nothing you'll allow me to do to help?"

Jane smiled. "You're our superior, isn't keeping you informed one of the duties you expect from us?"

Wainwright rolled his eyes at him. "Why don't you cut the bull and just tell me where you're going with this, Jane? What is it you want from me?"

Lisbon replied instead. "We need you to tell Bertram that we have nothing. That our play with Stiles didn't pan out and we're out of ideas. That it was a way for us to catch Red John but he won, had Stiles murdered in most probability, and that we're left with nothing. It...could have been the truth. It almost was. And he did have Stiles murdered, of that we're certain so that part is true. We need you to tell the same thing to...well, whoever in authority asks you where we are with Red John."

Jane added, "We need Red John to feel comfortable and, if any of the people you tell are Blake, and I'm guessing that at least one of them will be as they'll want confirmation that Stiles died without telling us a thing, then it'll get back to him and he'll feel triumphant and at ease. We need the element of surprise if we're to catch him. You can help us with that."

"So I'm to lie to the director, am I?"

Jane shrugged, "We could have lied to you and told you what we want you to tell Bertram or anyone else who asks. But we didn't."

"Only because you need my help to sell it. Put my weight behind it."

Jane smiled and nodded acknowledgement of that statement. "But think of what you'll get in return, Luther. You'll have Red John, the feather in your cap, caught on your watch. You just need to wait a day, maybe less."

Wainwright stared at Lisbon. "I want you to promise that you won't allow Jane to murder a man in cold blood, Agent Lisbon."

"Red John will be arrested – you have my word," she stated.

* * *

Once outside Wainwright's office, Lisbon took a deep breath. "You think he bought it?" she asked Jane.

"He did. You did well in there. Very believable and sincere."

She sighed loudly. "Yeah, you too. You almost had me believing there for a minute you don't actually intend to kill Red John."

He shrugged and looked into her eyes. "You still with me on this? Because if it's too hard, I can carry on with this plan with help from the others-"

Quickly, "I'm with you. I want to look this bastard in the eyes too. I know it's not the same but I've had to look at his victims for years too. Not to mention the attack on Grace and the threat to Annie's life. Or Bosco and his team. Let's end this once and for all so we can get on with the rest of our lives."

He smiled softly at her. "I like the sound of that. Okay, let's hit the open road."

As they walked down the corridor she said, "Don't forget-"

"To lose our detail. Yes, I know."

"And we need to-"

"Leave our phones back at the Hospital and then switch to burners so it appears we spent the afternoon there before Ron takes them to get some tacos and then to the Movies later." He chuckled, "Probably the hottest date he's had in a while. Yes, my dear, I do know. This is my plan, after all."

"Hey, it was my idea about the phones," she said at his back. "And don't be so cruel about Ron!"

* * *

They reached the old wooden cabin around an hour later, the drive there increasingly quiet as they neared their destination. The property stood alone on a deserted piece of land, a few miles from the main road.

"Good, no neighbours to worry about," Lisbon said as Jane parked up his Citroen at the back of the property.

Walking back around to the front, they waved at Rigsby who'd borrowed a nondescript sedan from a friend. They gestured for him to park beside them, out of sight of the main entrance to the property.

Jane stood with his hands in his jacket pockets surveying the outside of the property as he and Lisbon waited for their colleague to join them. A veranda draped the front of the modest one storey house, a handmade rocking chair at the side of the front door. His eyes turned to deep red rose bushes, planted neatly in containers around its sides. Its wooden structure was newly stained dark chestnut and Jane had a vision of Red John painting and whistling as he attended to it, before caring for his flowers then rocking gently back and forth as he enjoyed the fruits of his labour at the end of the day, the soft breeze of a Summer's evening warmed up by a cup of tea in his hand. It was spectacularly normal and the last place many would expect a serial killer to reside. It was somewhere he could picture living himself, in fact, a sanctuary from the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Even serial killers needed their downtime, he supposed ruefully.

Lisbon took his hand and nudged him, recognising his breathing had sped up. He took a calming breath and squeezed her hand in acknowledgement. "I'm okay, don't worry."

Rigsby half looked over the place and shrugged as he walked towards them, putting his burner cell away. "Just called Cho. Lucky for us, Red John caught a case. Cho's tailing him. Gonna let us know when he's coming home but should give us a couple of hours at least, crime scene's an hour out from here."

"Good. Then let's get started." Jane smiled affably at the others before he advanced towards the front door.

Carefully he picked the lock and opened the door a fraction. Lisbon and Rigsby shone their torches inside, checking for tripwires or traps set.

"Looks clear," Lisbon whispered.

Jane smiled at her whispering. "No-one's home, Lisbon, you don't need to be so quiet," he said.

"It's not like I break into a house every day, Jane. Excuse me if I don't know the etiquette involved."

Jane smiled and peered into the hallway, checking it was clear for himself. "All right, all clear. Let's go."

Lisbon pushed the door open another inch, gradually widening it until it hit the back of the wall. The three of them trudged inside, Rigsby closing the front door behind him with his foot. A bedroom sat off the left side of the hallway, a bathroom opposite it. Past there was a kitchen, white cupboards and painted walls in soothing peach topped off with a slate grey floor. A fruit bowl sat in the centre of an old table, a cereal bowl and coffee mug on the drainer beside the sink. Jane's eyes flickered to the cereal box that sat alongside. Seemed Red John was an early morning Bran fan. He knew he'd never see a box of that stuff again and not be reminded of Red John or of this surreal moment in his life.

His hand went to touch the marble worktop and Lisbon put a hand on his to stop him. She handed him a pair of latex gloves and he nodded. She fetched another set for Rigsby and herself, and the three of them left the kitchen as they put them on. At the end of the corridor, an open plan living area come office came into view, the obvious focal point of the small house. Embers lay in the stone hearth that dominated the centre of the single room. To the right of the fire, a chest of logs sat and opposite the fire was a faded brown leather couch, much like Jane's own at the CBI. He shook his head and smiled thinly at the absurdity of that discovery, absently wondering if lying on it was where Red John did his plotting and planning too.

Lisbon pointed to a computer on a desk that sat behind wood panelled walls. "Rigs, call Grace and get her to hack into it. Let's hope she can break any encryption software he's installed. She's all set at the hospital, right?"

"Yeah, she's ready and waiting for the call. She only wished she'd been well enough to come and finish this with us."

"She's as much a part of this as all of us. You know what you're looking for, right?"

"Yeah, any files related to Red John or Blake."

As Rigsby called his fiancée and got to work, Lisbon noticed Jane standing in the centre of the living room, his eyes set on a photograph that sat on the mantelpiece. A young boy and an older man stared back at him, both grinning as they held a large pike in their hands, father and son buoyant after a successful fishing trip.

"When do you think it happened?" he asked her quietly without looking at her but sensing her presence at his side. "He's what...eight...nine in this picture? Do you think he knew at that age he wanted to murder people?"

"I don't know, Jane," she sighed. Seeing he was profoundly affected by standing in Red John's house, standing amongst his things, she said softly, "But we don't have time for a philosophical discussion right now about it. We need to find evidence, right? To make sure he is who we think he is. The computer might be clean but the house may not be. Let's focus on that, okay?"

He nodded slowly then quickly as he gathered himself. He took a breath. "Yeah, you're right, of course. Plenty of time to get maudlin on you later." He smiled, "I'll make a start in the bedroom, if you want to check here."

"Okay, so I'm looking for...?"

"False drawer, loose floorboard, something smaller. Might be nothing but a flash drive...Be creative, Lisbon. And don't forget to knock over a few things as you search. We need this to look like a simple robbery that goes wrong."

"All right, call out if you find anything."

"Will do."

As Lisbon began to search the living area, Jane entered the bedroom. Gaining a better handle on himself he cleared his throat and methodically began to open and search through drawers. He pushed to the back of his mind he was searching through Red John's belongings and focused on finding evidence of his, or others, crimes. Finding nothing in the drawers, he opened his closet. He pushed aside the work clothes staring back at him and knocked on the back of the wardrobe in case of a false back. He sucked in his breath and pulled the hangers back into the middle again before he closed the door when he found nothing. He began to wonder if he'd got it wrong, if his guesswork over who he was had been incorrect after all. If he was still as far away as ever from finding him.

He turned around and a floorboard creaked under his foot. He knelt down, dragging a patchwork rug out of the way at the foot of the bed as he knelt down. His breathing sped up as he hunkered down further and he was eye level with the floorboards. He noticed one that was more worn away at one end than those next to it. He smiled victoriously. "The floorboards underneath the rug should all be less worn, not more than the others. But you're different. I wonder why. Maybe because someone has been lifting you up," he said to himself. Licking his lips, he stuck a finger in the crack and raised the board effortlessly, surprised when four more joined it and a one foot square space opened up in front of him like a trap door. "Open Sesame," he grinned. He took his torch out and shone it down the dark hole. Then his breath caught in his throat and the smile fell from his lips when he discovered what was inside. A hand carved oak chest, gleaming clean amidst the dirt and cobwebs around it, greeted him. He knew at once. He'd found the right man.

But this was no flash drive.

These were his trophies.


	50. Chapter 50

Chapter 50 – Revelations

"Wow, got something, boss!" Rigsby exclaimed as Lisbon shuffled papers inside a filing cabinet beside him in a fruitless search for evidence of Blake.

She turned immediately. Breathlessly he said, "Grace got through the encryption and there are some hidden folders she was able to access. I've only checked a couple but...boss, there are links to video recordings, evidence tampering...hell...even some forensics reports that have been doctored by the looks of it."

She bent down, reading snippets of what he was looking at on the screen in front of him. "Where is all this stuff held?"

"Cloud storage. Grace was able to access it."

She shook her head, in disbelief at the reach and extent of the corruption. "Dear god, how much is there of this?"

He scrolled the mouse up and down, shaking his head. "I don't know but...a lot. This Blake thing is big, boss."

"Tell me it's not in his name or we're screwed with part of Jane's plan."

He smiled. "It's not. Storage set up using a false identity and stolen credit card."

"Good, have Grace cover her and...well, his tracks if he left any on the computer. And double check the cloud storage can't be linked to Red John."

"Will do. She said he did a good enough job of covering his tracks himself. Unless someone went looking for it like we did. Who'd have thought being this good at hiding his identity would be the thing that gets him killed ultimately, huh?" Rigsby responded. Since the attack on Grace, he was more than happy for the killer to be put six fleet under. If it were not for his deeper understanding of Jane's motives, after the attack on his girlfriend he'd be more than willing to do the job of ending the murderer's life himself.

Lisbon replied, "Jane did. He knew he'd distance himself from Blake and any evidence of Red John's identity to ensure he couldn't be linked to either. In fact, Jane was counting on it." Pride swelled in her voice at the plan Jane had construed (aided by some help from her and the other members of her team on practical and logistical matters) for Red John's demise.

Once Jane had informed her and then the rest of the team about Red John's identity, they'd hammered out a plan together from the bare bones he'd already constructed the few hours before as he'd lain in bed. Knowing who they were dealing with allowed them to flesh it out and they'd spent an hour going through it together in Van Pelt's hospital room until it was as airtight as they could make it.

Rigsby said, "I'll have Grace wipe any records of this from this computer when I'm done."

Lisbon handed him a flash drive. "It's blank. Have the links uploaded to it before she wipes this computer clean. But yeah, check what else you can find first."

"Like a list of Blake Association members?" he smirked.

"Yeah, that would be really good," she smiled.

He nodded as she went to find Jane. She called out, "Jane? We found evidence of Blake-"

She stopped talking when she arrived at the doorway to the bedroom. She noticed some floorboards had been lifted up to show a secret compartment below and Jane was sitting at the edge of the bed with a wooden box in his hands that sat across his knees. He was staring at it and rubbing his hands over its sides.

"What evidence did you find?" he asked, though his eyes never left the box in his hands.

She was caught off guard by the distance in his voice, as if he was speaking from another plane of existence. Distractedly, "Uh...Video recordings, audio too most probably...some other stuff...Jane? What is that? What's inside?" she asked apprehensively as she came to stand opposite him. Her belly clenched when she saw Red John's mark carefully cut into the top of the chest.

He exhaled and looked up at her. "Haven't opened it yet."

She nodded and her stomach somersaulted, bile rising in her throat. "Yes," he said to her unbidden question. "These are his trophies, I'm sure of it."

She closed her eyes briefly and inwardly shuddered. She'd always wondered if he'd taken keepsakes of his kills like a lot of other serial killers but there'd been no solid evidence ever found to that effect. "Jane, let me check. You don't have to look inside there," she said with as much authority as she could muster though her blood ran cold at the thought of what she might find inside that chest.

He pulled the box tighter to his front and shook his head. Quietly, "No. I have to look. I have to know...I have to see what he took from them." He smiled sadly and ran his right hand over the top of the oak slowly in a loving gesture, steadfastly avoiding the carved face, as if pieces of his wife and daughter were buried inside that he needed to protect. "This is my proof, Lisbon," he said in a whisper. "This is when I know for sure."

"All right," she said softly. He was staring at the gold latch at the front of the box and she shifted on her toes opposite him, suddenly feeling out of place and an intruder into this most intimate moment.

She went to step away and he said, "Stay, please." He looked up at her and nodded. "If...if you don't mind, that is."

"Of course I don't mind," she replied, her voice raw. She sat down beside him as her throat constricted. She swallowed hard. "I'm here. Whatever you need."

"Thank you," he breathed, the words catching in his throat as a tear fell down his cheek. He took a deep breath. Then another. Closing his eyes briefly, with shaking hands he unfastened the latch and swung open the lid. At Lisbon's gasp he opened his eyes. An assortment of items had been placed inside, from small snow globes to everyday items like hairbrushes. There was no painstaking arrangement of them inside, merely all thrown in and lying on top of each other like items in a discount bin. Jane bit down on his bottom lip as his temper flared at the ultimate disrespect he was witnessing. He took a calming breath.

"There are more items here than victims we know about," Lisbon said as Jane slid his hand over the contents. "He's been doing this longer than he's been Red John," she added.

Jane nodded, lifting items reverently and replacing them as he searched through them. His fingers stopped moving suddenly and he caught his breath. He let go of it as he removed a small circular mother of pearl compact mirror. He nodded and exhaled slowly. "This was Angela's," he breathed. Another laboured breath. Then he laughed softly but there was nothing but pain in his voice. "I bought it for her at a market stall when we were just starting out. I...I hadn't even realised it went missing after...It was an...an apology gift."

He looked at Lisbon and smiled, some warmth mixed in with the pain as he sought out her eyes. "You know, like I do with you and bear claws and gourmet coffees sometimes," he shrugged.

The effort of the smile back at him took away her last remnants of attempting to be strong for him and she let go of a ragged breath as glistening eyes turned into wet ones.

"Must have been a big apology you needed to make for her to receive such a lovely gift," she managed to say through her tears. "I'm sure she loved it, Jane."

He nodded, his hand rubbing over the smooth surface lovingly as he looked down at the compact again. "She did but she still made me sleep in the car that night." He laughed through his tears at the memory.

She laughed until he placed the compact in her hands. "Hold it for a moment, please?"

She nodded, her heart swelling as he entrusted her with something so special to him. He delved in the box again and pulled out a lilac hair ribbon.

"Oh god, Jane," Lisbon whispered, unable to take her eyes off his side profile as the lines on his face visibly deepened.

"Can you leave me for a few minutes now, Lisbon?" he asked her, his voice rough and thick, his attempt at detachment entirely unsuccessful. His lips pursed into a thin line. She watched as sadness gave way to anger, then quickly to suppressed rage a split second later as he held onto his daughter's ribbon, the first tangible fragment of her young existence he'd held between his fingers for years.

"Jane-"

"Please, Teresa," he begged, though it was more of an order than a request as his voice boomed louder in the bedroom as he stared at the strand of material in his hands.

She quickly shoved the compact into her jacket pocket and got off the bed. "I'll check how Rigsby's getting on," she muttered, unsure of what else to say. There were no words of comfort she could offer that wouldn't sound like a platitude. She squeezed his shoulder, knowing this was as far as he'd allow closeness at this moment.

When she left the room, he set the box on the floor and brought the ribbon to his nose in a futile attempt to smell the sweet scent of his daughter's hair again. But he could smell nothing but the mixed aromas of every other victim that monster had taken too soon. He could smell nothing but despair, fear and death. He placed his hands over his face, the prominent smell of the latex of the gloves he still wore overwhelming all others. He ripped them off his hands and ran the ribbon through his bare fingers.

Memories locked away in his palace for years surfaced suddenly and flashed before his eyes - tying Charlotte's hair in braids or pony tails before attaching the ribbon to the same wayward blonde curls she'd inherited from him, her face scrunched up as he untangled them before pressing a kiss to her forehead after his labours. Then, an impish grin, a mirror image of his own, staring back at him before she ran off to play or to swim.

Breathless, he stood up and surveyed the bedroom of the man who'd taken away his daughter's future. An ordinary room like a hundred he'd seen before. Plain and simple. All at once the dullness of it all was an anathema to the person who slept here. Who most probably had come home and slept soundly in the creaky bed beside him after he'd butchered his family.

The man who'd slept here after taking away something as small as never knowing whether his daughter's hair would have darkened or tamed as she became older.

Who'd taken away the delight of him grilling her first boyfriend.

Who'd taken away the opportunity to eat ice cream with her when she broke up with him or vice versa.

Who'd taken away discussing college choices with her...career paths...

Who'd taken away his chance to walk her up the aisle...his first grandchild...

Tears and rage bubbled up to the surface and, as they swelled over, he kicked over a lamp in the corner with his foot, crashing it against the wall. With blurred eyes, he kicked at the skirting board beside it, his fists pounding on the beige painted walls and knocking over a photo frame of a landscape print. He bowed his head against the wall as he let the tears roll and roll, his body contorting from one ragged breath to another.

Suddenly two arms were around his waist and pulling him hard against a body attached to them. He battled against it momentarily then breathed in, smelt cinnamon and breathed out, his body going limp. Concentrating on that smell alone he breathed again as Lisbon held him tighter against her small frame. His face fell to the crook of her neck and she rubbed his back. After a moment he raised his arms from dangling at his sides to slide around her waist. He squeezed her hard against him. Harder as he rested his chin on her shoulder, a primal need coursing through him to hang onto her, afraid she'd vanish from his life as quickly as his family had, as if being this close to Red John would make it so.

Eventually his breathing became less laboured and his tears stopped.

"I'm sorry," he croaked as he loosened his grip but stayed in place, ashamed he'd let so much of his fear and anger show. He was a man taught control at an early age and even now, even with her, he found it difficult to let his guard down completely and in such a spectacularly raw fashion. He shook his head, "I-"

"Don't ever apologise to me for showing your emotions," she told him softly, running a hand through his hair. "Though you've probably popped your stitches, you idiot," she added.

He frowned, lifted his chin and faced her, then laughed at her admonishment through bloodshot eyes. Just like the day he met her, she liked to top off her compassion with a soupcon of scolding.

"You okay?" she asked, worry written over her features. "Jane, we don't have to do this today if you're not ready-"

"I'm more than ready now," he said with determination after a deep breath. "More than ever, Teresa," he added with a hard stare, and clutching the ribbon in his hand. "Today's the day I rid him from my life once and for all."

He took another steadying breath as he placed the ribbon securely in his inside vest pocket after smoothing it out. He looked at the lamp in the corner. "Well, just as well we were planning on smashing up this place a little to make it look like an attempted robbery," he said as he began to gain control though his voice was still shaky.

She humoured him though she knew he was far from done with being affected by his discovery. "Yeah, it is. Come on then, I'll check your arm then fill you in on what Rigsby and Van Pelt have discovered. And Cho called, looks like Red John's on his way home."

He placed his hand on her forearm as she turned away. "Wait," he said softly. "I need you to promise me something first."

She nodded for him to continue.

He licked his lips. "When it...when it comes to it...At the end, I mean. I need it to be just me and him-"

She shook her head vehemently, "Jane-"

"Teresa, please listen to me. This all started when he murdered my family. _My_ family." Anger broke into his tone and he took a breath. Softer, "This...journey I've been on...this crusade. And when I end it...it'll end that part of my life." He shook his head, "Not my love for them, of course...that will never end as long as I'm breathing. But it'll provide some kind of closure for me. For them. I hope. And I need to do that alone. To face him alone and do what I have to do. To close one door before I open another completely. Because...because you're my future and I want to start that with you afresh when this is done. I want the next chapter to start with just us. No more ghosts in the background...no more death threats hanging over us. No more...him.

"Plus...I don't want you to see me take a life in cold blood, even his. I don't want you to have that vision in your head. Selfishly, I don't want you to see me as that man, as hypocritical as that sounds after all this time. Because I'll never be that man again after today. I promise you that. I want you to see me as who I intend to be for you, not who I will be when I end his life."

She wavered, worry etched in her face that Red John would out manoeuvre him somehow if she left them alone.

"I can do this on my own. I'll be fine. I promise. Just trust me, okay? And let me do this? Let me finish this?"

She nodded after a long moment. "Okay. I trust you. And I understand."

* * *

Car headlights illuminated the black windows. The lights turned off as dusk approached, Lisbon and Rigsby lay in wait with guns raised, Lisbon in the bedroom and Rigsby in the bathroom opposite. They stared at each other and nodded, the whites of their eyes wide and concentrated on the task ahead. They heard footsteps on the porch outside, the fumbling of keys as a man whistled at his front door. It opened quickly and Sheriff Thomas McAllister stepped inside his home. He stopped whistling and his ears pricked up, his hand lowering to the gun at his belt. Rigsby swallowed, afraid to move a muscle, asking his boss with his eyes if they should take action. Lisbon shook her head, telling him silently to stay in place until instructed. McAllister began to whistle again and turned around slowly, moving his hand away from his gun. A quick nod from Lisbon and both she and Rigsby came out of their respective doorways swiftly, their guns raised to his head.

At the kerfuffle the sheriff went for his gun and Lisbon yelled, "Don't! Don't even think about it!"

"Agent...Lisbon?" he queried, raising his hands up slowly. "Is that you?" he said in the dark.

"Yeah, and you can drop the act. We know who you are."

He tilted his head back. Surprised, "What's going on? Am I the victim of a police raid or something?" he asked innocently.

If she hadn't seen the proof of his crimes herself she could have been fooled by his affable act. Wouldn't have been the first time. A light went on in the living area and Jane stepped out of the shadows. He looked the other man up and down. "Let's have a chat, shall we?" he said in his most genial manner.

* * *

**A/N: So I'm sure many of you are disappointed in my choice of Red John. Last few chapters I've been feeling the pressure as people's expectations of who it could be seemed higher than I knew I'd deliver! But it was always planned this way and I hope you'll excuse the red herrings I threw at you at times to make the story more interesting. However, even though I've chosen the same RJ as Heller, his demise will be vastly different to that in the show and I hope you'll keep reading and like what I have planned for him (some of you may already have guessed). **

**Next chapter (&amp; I'm no longer going to mention if it's the last one or not anymore because it depends how much I'll decide to witter on!) is pretty far along writing wise, so not too long for an update. Thank you.**


	51. Chapter 51

Chapter 51 - Justice

Rigsby removed the Sheriff's weapon and pushed McAllister more roughly than was necessary to sit on the couch in his living room. Lisbon stood guard by the fireplace with her gun trained on him, her trigger finger poised and in a state of high alert. Jane brought the desk chair around in front and took a seat opposite the man he'd hunted for almost a decade. McAllister said nothing but stared questioningly into the blond haired man's eyes. For a long moment Jane merely stared back at him.

Eventually he shook his head and began to speak, his tone utterly conversational. There were no signs of the breakdown he'd suffered an hour earlier, his years of training his behaviour bearing fruit in this most important of confrontations. "I have to admit I was initially disappointed that it was you. But...now I've had time to adjust to the notion I'm pleased it is. Makes my life a whole lot easier that you're pretty much a nobody," he said with a glimmer of a smile.

McAllister frowned, feigned ignorance, "Patrick Jane, isn't it? Look, I have no idea-"

Darkly, "You're Red John." He gestured to Lisbon and Rigsby. Sighing, "We all know you're Red John so let's drop the pretence that this is some kind of a mistake. Hmm?"

McAllister's gaze darted to the others in the room who held his eyes as steadily as they held their weapons. Jane grinned. "There's no way out of this. You're going to die tonight so you might as well relax and make the most of the little time you have left."

A short bitter chuckle escaped McAllister's lips as his mask disappeared. He held Jane's stare and nodded. His voice lowered. "Bravo, Patrick. I suppose I should applaud you for your perseverance."

"You're wondering how I knew," Jane said, leaning his elbows on his knees to stare more closely at the other man.

"Well, I do admit I was certain Stiles wasn't capable of speech. Nice rumour you spread around the Capitol today that he hadn't talked."

"Oh, he didn't," Lisbon said with a smile, glancing at Rigsby.

McAllister frowned as Jane said to him, "You and Stiles were friends for a time. What went wrong?"

As McAllister opened his mouth, Jane shook his head. "It's okay, I don't require an answer, I've already worked it all out. You met when you were teenagers or in your early twenties, I'm assuming. He was here on some...what...foreign exchange program and you met then?"

"You tell me," the Sheriff replied with a neutral expression.

Jane grinned briefly. "Your paths crossed in your formative years. There was a bond straight away. Two ambitious young men starting out in life. He was older and the more charming one of the pair, though, wasn't he? The one the women were attracted to? Especially with that accent. I mean, come on, Tom, you never stood a chance to compete against him with them, did you? But you did okay, I imagine. Got his scraps at least, I'm guessing."

McAllister's features hardened. "You really have no idea what you're talking about."

"Yes, I do. You learnt some...tricks...hypnotism being one. Maybe you did it to show off at first, to gain attention, make you stand out as more than a sidekick. Then you realised how powerful it could be in controlling someone when mastered correctly. And you did, you worked hard at it and accomplished what you set out. Stiles became more interested in you when he saw what you could do, pushed you to get better at it, and learned a few tricks himself in mind control. He was always cleverer and more assured than you...always readily grasping opportunities that opened up to him - or engineering them himself if he had to. You were a good one for him back then – a valuable resource he could use. He even lined up a few...test subjects for you to train your skills, didn't he? Some attractive young girls for you to practice on? Did you really believe at the time he did that because he liked you? That he didn't have his own reasons for encouraging you?"

Jane's eyes darkened with unabashed disgust. "You both took advantage of that situation, no doubt. Though I'd imagine he wouldn't have required them to be in a trance like you, where they had no choice but to feign interest in your shoddy and half assed attempts at seduction."

Red John lunged forward on the couch and Jane took the gun from the back of his pants and pointed it at him. Lisbon and Rigsby had already tightened their grips on their own weapons. "Sit back," Jane commanded him. "This is my time to talk and your time to listen."

McAllister tightened his jaw but sat back on the couch again, his eyes snakelike. Jane sighed and leaned back in his chair, shaking his head. "Soon the thrill of that wore off for you though, didn't it? Hypnotising a few innocent girls became child's play to you. Stiles got bored too. Or perhaps he'd always just seen it as a training exercise. He was looking for the next big challenge. For him...and for you, it was controlling people without the requirement of constant hypnosis that you sought out. He set his sights on Visualize, the perfect opportunity to broaden and enhance that skill. You were both so alike then, I imagine. Two peas in a pod. You both joined. But he became more interested in the applause, the spotlight, the financial gain it could provide for him, the high life.

"Then...and I don't know how or when it happened...then he realised the depth of the darkness in you. He'd always seen it from the day he met you, saw the use it could be to him to have a man like you by his side. He had it too, of course, that dark side to his soul, but not quite so black. Not quite so deranged. Anyhow, he wanted to move up the ranks and to do that certain individuals needed to be removed from the hierarchy. People like Timothy Farragate-"

At McAllister's startled expression, Jane smiled. "Yes, I know about Farragate. It's what you had on Stiles, evidence of his part in that kill. It was his idea to have him murdered and something you hung over Stiles' head every time you needed a favour. We've been here quite a while digging through your files, Tom."

Jane continued, "Sheriff Elliott Ellswood also formed part of your merry band back then too, always good to have a friend in Law Enforcement in case of local difficulties. Stiles manipulated him into killing Farragate. With your help, naturally. I wonder if that's when you found out you could kill without conscience... but I'd bet by then you'd already killed a drifter or two, just to see how it felt. To see if doing that would fill some of the emptiness inside you. And whereas Stiles had Farragate killed purely for advancement reasons within Visualize, you, on the other hand, conspired in it out of your thirst for blood. Was that where the first crack in your relationship came with Stiles? Hmm? He noticed how much you enjoyed the killing part? How much you revelled in it afterwards?"

McAllister drummed his fingers impatiently on the armrest. "Stiles was an attention seeker from the outset. Always had to show off. Just like you, Patrick, in so many ways. A showman. Well, just like you were before I pulled the rug out from under you, that is," he smiled.

Jane stared back at him, unfazed. A smile crept up on his lips. "He left you behind. Your friend...the one person in the world you thought you had a connection with and who liked you. He left you for the spotlight, the adoration of others, the money. You helped him become someone and still, there you were, left in the doldrums."

McAllister laughed. "You have no idea of the power I hold, Patrick. No idea."

"No? We'll see about that," Jane smirked. He cleared his throat. "Controlling others became more and more important to you, you clung onto that. Used hypnotism to hasten it. You sought out the weak...the damaged - easy prey. But killing people was what gave you your ultimate thrill. That's where you found your niche, your...sweet spot, if you will. Stiles knew you'd killed others before you ever invented Red John. Of that I'm sure. He might even have helped you cover up early victims due to some misguided sense of loyalty or shame he'd hastened that process along in you. But he never had the bloodlust you had.

"The relationship fractured, you left Visualize. Became a cop instead, eventually a Sheriff like your old pal Ellswood. Long dead now too. All that death and murder and blood is right in your wheelhouse, after all. And you began to hone your skills, learned what gave you the greatest thrill when killing. Attractive women...the girls you first took advantage of through hypnosis, they gave you your first rush of power so hardly a leap that they would go on to largely form your type. You wanted – needed – to feel that rush, time and again. Killing them made it all the better, much more of an adrenalin rush than merely hypnotising them into submission. It became more about them begging you for mercy when they were fully conscious and less about the killing. Although you took pleasure and pride in that part too, no doubt. Two thrills for the price of one, I guess. In truth, you're right. You're just as power hungry as Stiles. Just more secretive about it. And clearly not so charismatic to get it by any other means than murder or manipulation of the weak.

"You still had a bond with Stiles, though, even if it became weaker over time. You still did favours for each other on occasion, your lives forever tangled and intertwined with the younger versions of yourselves, some secrets never documented and only known to the pair of you, I'd bet. For a long time you tolerated his meteoric rise and he your craving for blood due to what became a symbiotic relationship. You helped him increase his flock, sending cops and others you encountered to Visualize to have their minds cleared after committing one atrocity or other. He recorded their misdeeds on camera as part of that process and passed the information back to you, a useful tool in your recruitment of them and leading to your recruitment of other Blake Association members."

Jane studied the other man, taking pleasure in noting his dumbfounded expression at the mention of Blake.

Jane asked, "I have one question though, why did you try to frame him by leaving that letter in a house you knew I'd eventually find? Just to confuse me...or for a deeper reason?"

McAllister relaxed visibly, coming out of trance he was in after the avalanche of information he'd just heard. "Suppose it makes no difference now. I knew you'd cling on to that piece of information...that it would consume you, that you wouldn't rest until you spoke to Stiles. That you would suspect him, go after him."

"You wanted me to believe he was Red John. Why? So I'd despatch him for you, perhaps?"

The other man smirked. "More just to fire a warning shot at him. Though you were doing quite a good job of taking him down for me. But hell, if your patience ran out or you suspected he really was Red John at any stage then that would have been the cherry on top."

Jane nodded slowly. "And if I had then no doubt your plan was to have yet another re-emergence. Maybe just when I thought it was over. And then tell me that I had destroyed my best chance of ever discovering who you were. Hopefully while I was in a prison cell awaiting trial for his murder."

"That, plus rid me of someone who has long outstayed their usefulness in my life."

"Hmm," Jane replied, tapping his index finger to his lips. "I think there's more to it than just that." He sighed then smirked, "So, have you worked out how I knew it was you yet?"

He bristled, shifting in his seat. "Well, if you expect me to believe you have genuine psychic powers then you're out of luck. Gonna tell me you communed with the dead, Patrick?" he muttered scathingly.

Jane laughed. "You and I both know I'm not psychic. No such things as psychics."

McAllister frowned then nodded. "Ah, lovely Grace," he said with a bite to the words. Rigsby held his gun tighter and Jane glanced at him, sensing his impatience to put a bullet in his fiancée's attacker. He shook his head at him, telling him with his eyes to continue with the plan laid down. The tall agent nodded and took a breath.

Jane went on, "You never showed her your face but you did talk to her. Even if you did put on that imbecilic high voice of yours. Do you remember what you said or were you too pumped full of adrenalin in the heat of the kill to recall?" Jane asked him calmly.

McAllister frowned and before he responded Jane said, "You told her that you'd been waiting on the chance to kill her since that day on the road. You told her you'd been waiting for the moment for years. So I searched my memory palace, knowing you'd met her before, most likely on a case as I'd surmised already you worked in Law Enforcement."

Red John blinked and Jane grinned. "Oh yeah, like I mentioned before, we know all about Blake. We had quite a look around here before you came home today. Actually Grace...the woman you _almost _murdered-" Jane's grin turned smug, "-she's quite the computer whizz. Found lots of interesting information on their activities, thanks to you." Jane glanced at Rigsby. "We were even able to find a list of its members."

Lisbon cut in, "I really should applaud you on your record keeping, you're very methodical and a great note taker. Everything in its place...makes it all so easy to find."

Jane smiled, briefly glancing behind him at Lisbon. "You know I absolutely abhor paperwork but now I'm beginning to see the value in it."

"Better late than never," Lisbon said affably.

"Indeed it is, my dear," Jane agreed, smiling at Red John.

McAllister's fingers dug into the leather armrest in disgruntlement of the mocking he was receiving. "Well," he stated, clearing his throat, "if you're all as clever as you think then you'll realise that Blake is _my_ organisation. I don't need the idolatry that Stiles needed, the attention from the masses. People answer to my tune without even realising I'm the puppet master of the piece. If that's not what real power is, then I don't know what is." Pride swelled in his voice and he smirked, "And whatever you believe you have planned for me, you should know my legion of followers will not allow my death to go unpunished. So kill me, if you can. But you'll be signing your own death warrants too."

"Hmm. Doubtful," Jane shrugged. "Ah!" he exclaimed suddenly. "I just realised something. That's why you really wanted Stiles out of the way - you were planning your own little coup of Visualize with one of your own people taking control. Someone you knew you could manipulate. You were worried Stiles was eventually going to grow a conscience and put an end to your arrangement, cut off the supply of blackmail you could use for your own means."

McAllister shrugged but said nothing.

Jane continued, "Now let's get back to how I knew it was you. I digressed. Back to Grace's recollection that led me to you. Of course, it could have meant any day...any road that you mentioned, but then I remembered seeing you that day with her when we were trying to lure out that pair of killers with their penchant for redheads. At the time...at the time I took you for the dumb sheriff you purported to be and paid it no further attention. But knowing you'd said that...and, recalling it further with hindsight, coupled with your height and weight and approximate age considering your long relationship with Stiles, I was able to make an educated guess it was you."

"That's quite a guess based on not much evidence."

Jane shrugged. "It's what I do. But we have all the evidence we need now in any case." He took a breath and he pronounced to the man opposite him, "You're Red John. You murdered my wife Angela and my daughter..." He took another breath, "And now it's your time to die."

McAllister shook his head. "You're not that man, Patrick. You're...you're not like me. This will haunt you." Seeing Jane was staring blankly back at him, McAllister fixed his eyes on Lisbon. "Teresa, you don't believe in this course of action. You're an officer of the law-"

"So are you. Didn't stop you killing all those people in cold blood."

"But that's not who you are. Neither of you. You're...you're good people."

"And that's why we have to stop you."

He was beginning to panic now, realising his time was running out. Beads of sweat surfaced on his brow. "So arrest me then? I'll...I'll come quietly. I'll admit to everything. All the murders...there are more...more people I killed you don't know about, I can give you names-"

"We know," Rigsby stated. "We found that list too. Little harder to find but Grace was able to crack the encryption." Derisively, "You couldn't help but catalogue your kills, could you?"

Red John looked from Rigsby to Lisbon. "I can understand Patrick's need for this and...even your need for it, Agent Rigsby, but Teresa...you have no stake in this-"

"You threatened my niece. So yes, I do. And even if you hadn't I'd still be ready to kill you for what you've put these two good men here through and countless others whose lives you shattered."

He shook his head wildly. "Don't you realise? Bringing Patrick into your life was a gift to both of you. A perfect alignment of needs and desires. A perfect pairing, if you will. I provided you with that." His tone turned bitter. "I could have let him die but I did not. I saved his life. I answered your call, Teresa-"

"Only because it suited you to do so," she glared back at him. "You didn't do that for me...for us...you did that for your own damn self so you could continue to play God."

She took a breath as she seethed at him. McAllister shook his head at each of them in turn before he focused back on Jane who was staring at him with a faint smile on his lips.

He evened out his breathing. "Well, Patrick. It seems you're more manipulative than I ever gave you credit. You have your own band of followers in your wake too. We really are alike."

Jane laughed contemptuously and replied, "If you say so. You've lost your power over me. I'm no longer your plaything. Your words mean nothing to me. It's game over. Time to accept defeat."

Menacingly, "My people will come after you. They'll know it was you behind this as much as you try to cover it up. And Teresa-"

"No, they won't," Jane said with a sigh, appearing bored with the conversation and pushing a piece of fluff from his pants onto the floor. He stared at his nemesis again. "Thanks in large part due to your own scrupulous separation of your hidden life with the act you've perfected in your public one."

McAllister frowned and shook his head.

Jane leaned forward, fixing him with a steely gaze.

He took delight in his next statement. "You see, to anyone who knows you, you're Sheriff Thomas McAllister, the shambolic but well meaning Sheriff of Napa. But not much going on between the ears, if you know what I mean. Now, who would believe that such a man could ever be Red John? I'd bet I could put you in a line up of six people and not one person could believe that to be true. It's ridiculous, isn't it?

"So, here's what's going to happen. We've wiped any record of your being Red John from your computer. We've removed your trophies. We've searched every inch of this place and we've found your fake passports, ID. We have it all. We left some cash in your hidey-hole in the bedroom, makes it look like you were on the take and stupidly embroiled yourself with some criminal elements who came after you. We've removed your name as the leader of Blake from the registry of Blake Association names-"

Jane laughed suddenly as McAllister's face became more and more horrified as he continued his speech. "Ironic, isn't it? That the organisation _you_ set up – and I have to admit that was a very fortunate turn of events to discover that for certain today – will exist without your name at the helm? We've left you as a member due to the tattoo you no doubt have on your shoulder, but you'll be nothing but a foot soldier when that list makes its way into the hands of the authorities. Because it's a secret organisation, and you've been so careful to exercise your power in it so covertly, that I doubt whether ten people actually know who you really are. And, after you're gone, what would they have to gain from telling people that they knew that? Why would they add to the charges they'll already face for their crimes within Blake when arrested?"

Red John shook his head, his eyes darting back and forth between the other occupants of the room. "No," he said breathlessly, "you can't so this to me...this is _my_ legacy...you can't-"

"Take away the identity you're most proud of? The person you really are? The power you hold? The morbid glory in holding that title?" Jane smirked. "Yes, we can. We already have. You'll die without anyone ever knowing you were Red John. Your death will be met with indifference, not a wringing of hands or a thirst for revenge by your disciples. Not martyrdom in your name or immortality in the pages of a psychology text book. Thomas McAllister will die as nothing more than a dumb sheriff who couldn't even fight off a couple of clumsy robbers." Jane laughed, "So thank you for choosing the persona you did. I doubt many will be surprised that's how you ultimately meet your end."

McAllister's breathing sped up and he swallowed thickly. "No...no...I...how do you expect to get away with this? Questions will be asked-"

"No, they won't," Jane told him. "Because, thanks to your files, we already have a patsy set up to take the fall. The person who will, for all intents and purposes, be Red John. Or so people will think. It'll allow the public to sleep in their beds at night and ensure no Blake member suspects or comes after us for disposing of their leader. Not to mention it spares me a lengthy trial, a lethal injection, or a requirement to leave the country.

"Hell, even the people who believed you were Red John may pause for thought when we prove it was someone else. They may even think it was merely attention seeking and idle boasting on your part when you divulged you were him to them."

Jane continued matter-of-factly. "The Red John we've chosen won't die though, like you will shortly. He'll be arrested for the killer he already is. We'll just...tag a few more on to his already high kill rate, plant evidence at his home that he's Red John. Though choosing him proved more difficult than I imagined. There are a lot of evil men in those files of yours, after all. But he's a monster in his own right, just not the monster who murdered my family."

McAllister's breathing accelerated and Jane breathed out calmly as he leaned back in his chair. Then he got up and turned to Lisbon. His back to McAllister, he caught her eyes and exhaled silently. They exchanged victorious small smiles. Then he nodded, and his expression darkened, a silent signal that it was time for her to leave.

Her eyes questioned him. 'Are you sure?'

He nodded once more and she exhaled loudly before licking her lips and blinking in acquiescence.

"Rigsby, let's go," she said, still looking at Jane. More quietly and to Jane alone, "We'll be right outside when you're done."

"I promise I won't be long," he said, his tone deep and rich and confident.

"You better not be," she ordered gently, a slight panic in her voice.

His dazzled her with a quick reassuring smile before he gestured towards the door. "Go," he told her softly, his face serious again.

She pushed past him, her fingers briefly touching his as she went. Jane turned to face McAllister again with his gun raised as the others made their way out of the front door.

Red John tilted his head to the side in a question as Jane stood by the fireplace silently as he watched the other man. "It's not too late, Patrick," he said sympathetically. "I can see that you don't want to do this."

Jane shook his head. "Believe me, I'm not wavering. I'm just savouring the last few pages of this book before I start the next one."

Then he pulled the lilac ribbon from his vest pocket and ran it through the fingers of his left hand, the gun in his right still trained on the man opposite. McAllister's eyes widened. "You took this from my daughter, Charlotte." Jane's voice quieted to barely a whisper as he addressed the other man. "Tell me, wasn't taking her life enough for you that night?"

McAllister lowered his head towards his lap. "Look at me," Jane bellowed, startling McAllister with its sudden strength.

The other man shook his head, the coward in him racing to the surface. "I'm...I'm sorry..."

"You think a few crocodile tears and apologies are going to make a difference to how this ends? You think I care if you're remorseful now your neck is in the noose?" He took a deep breath and placed the ribbon back in his vest pocket carefully.

As Jane dipped his head slightly to replace the ribbon McAllister took the opportunity of his attention being elsewhere momentarily. With a roar, he made a sudden lunge towards the blond man from his place on the couch.

* * *

Lisbon paced the porch outside, her arms crossed in worry as she went back and forth across the wooden boards, her head bowed. If she were a nail biter they'd have been down to the stubs.

Rigsby stood alert, watching the front door for any sign of movement. Lisbon stopped walking and they eyeballed each other as a shot rang out inside. Before they made it to the door they heard a second.

* * *

**A/N: Last chapter (pre epilogue) is coming up next. And this time I mean it, honestly.**

**And I apologise for this rather long winded and mostly one sided conversation. This was my first ever real RJ/PJ confrontation and I couldn't stop writing (plus I had a lot of plot to cover to tie up loose ends). I know I theorised pretty wildly here to fit the RJ/Stiles relationship into this story. I would have loved to have known more about that on the show so couldn't help make up my own backstory for them. Anyhow, I hope I've covered everything. Any questions let me know. Thanks.**


	52. Chapter 52

Chapter 52 - Post Mortem

"Should we go in?" Rigsby asked Lisbon as they watched the front door, their weapons raised.

She shook her head. "Jane made me promise we would wait. For one minute after the shot was fired. Just give him some time to...process, I guess." She checked her watch. "Thirty seconds to go."

"But there were two shots," he reasoned at her side. "I thought he only intended to put one in him."

She licked her lips that had suddenly turned drier than the Sahara. The truth was that part of her was terrified of what she might find beyond the threshold when she heard that second shot – would it be McAllister's body she would find or would it be Jane's? Or would it be both men? Would Jane's revenge be over in a mass of bloody limbs as the two men fell together? Her future – their future – would it be one that was never meant to be?

"You're right," she said breathlessly, making a split second decision. If he were in there bleeding out she'd never forgive herself for her apprehension. With more authority she nodded to Rigsby. "Kick it in."

As he raised his right leg in readiness, the door opened slowly in front of them, making the tall agent regain his footing and steady his weapon in response.

Blond hair appeared through the gap and Lisbon breathed out, her eyes rushing over him for any sign of injury as the gap widened, breathing heavily again when she found none. He crossed the lintel, nodding to both of them absently with a faraway look in his eyes. He turned to face her, his movements in slow motion. Quietly, the words drifting aimlessly from his lips and with little regard to the power attached to them, he said simply, "It's over. It's done."

She could only nod in response. Her vision blurred and she sniffed to stop her tears. "Rigs, can you?-"

"I'll make sure he's dead," he replied, sensing the need to leave his boss and her consultant alone. "And I'll start making sure it looks like a robbery that got out of hand," he added. He nodded to Jane a personal thanks and squeezed his shoulder as he entered the house again. Apart from a blink, Jane barely acknowledged the gesture.

Lisbon put her weapon away and moved forward on the porch towards him. She took his arm and pulled him away from the property, away from what remained of Red John, as if extracting him further from his actions would soothe him somehow. Gently, "Come on, let's get you some air."

As soon as he was off the porch he placed a shaky hand on hers and released it gently from his arm, his fingers lingering briefly on hers as he released them. He moved away from her and to the left, his head bowed, and stuck his hands in his jacket pockets. She didn't need to be psychic to know he needed space after what had just transpired.

She busied herself with helping Rigsby inside the house cover their tracks. Her breath hitched when she saw McAllister lying beside the fireplace with a bullet hole to his chest and another that had almost obliterated his face completely. Only his eyes, bulging and wide open, in a terrifying last and eternal stare at his killer, were left to identify him. She'd noticed he must have moved from his placed on the couch in what appeared to be a last ditch attempt to disarm Jane. Her first thought was that his murder was ostensibly self defence. His body placement certainly fit better into the 'robbery' angle they were going for. But then she began to wonder if Jane had always planned it this way. He'd have known she'd never have allowed him to face Red John alone if this was how he'd always intended to kill him. She found it hard to comprehend he'd have let his guard drop at any stage with the other man unless he wanted it to look that way. "Reckless idiot," she muttered under her breath, making plans to give him a talking to about that particular course of action in the coming days if she was proved right.

She removed Jane's gun that sat discarded bedside the body and placed it inside the back waistband of her jeans. She'd throw it into a lake or some other deep body of water before they returned to Sacramento. She'd watched Jane like a hawk as soon as he'd removed his gloves and ordered Rigsby to wipe any surfaces or objects he'd touched with his bare hands clean. She'd been scrupulous in ensuring she touched nothing herself until she'd left the house.

It vaguely surprised her how little it bothered her that Red John was dead and that Jane had killed him now she saw the evidence of it lying starkly before her. She'd thought – wondered – if she'd be horrified or would think of him differently afterwards when faced with the physical confirmation with her own eyes. But instead she felt more relief than anything, both for him and for any future they might have. She felt mostly like she did after Carter. If anything, she was more hopeful than the day Jane had been released for that death. Maybe it was selfish of her to think that way but she couldn't deny she'd been waiting for this a long time too, more so after the past year and weeks. He was finally out of their lives and in the rear view mirror.

'Chasing monsters changes people' was a statement she'd heard somewhere once and no truer was it in this instant, she mused. It wasn't just Jane it had changed over the years, she had changed too. Her once long held belief systems now seemed to be in a state of perpetual flux, the black and white she believed in now a palette of grey. She didn't know if it was for the better or the worse in this instant but she felt no guilt over their actions earlier. But neither did she feel all that much satisfaction. It was simply something she told herself had to be done. She took a breath and put her latex gloves back on to continue the cover up.

* * *

Apart from checking the scene they'd set up, which Jane completed from the periphery of the living room area, his eyes hardly ever straying to the body lying within it, he said little but a few grunts and gestures to move some items to make it appear more like a bungled robbery.

When they'd finished, the two cars drove away from his property with barely a glance behind them. Lisbon waved at Cho's vehicle, waiting discreetly a mile up the road from Red John's cabin and ready to intercept any visitors he might have had that evening. He nodded his head, his expression as inscrutable as ever but she thought she noticed a glimmer of an upturn of his lips as they passed each other.

The night drive back to Sacramento was quiet with Jane staring out of the front window of his Citroen silently for the first twenty minutes.

Lisbon yawned beside him. "How are you doing with everything?" she asked him quietly.

He shrugged. "It's not over yet. We still have Partridge to set up."

So he wasn't ready to open up to her just yet. His mind was still on the plan and not on what he'd just accomplished. "You still sure about that part?"

He glanced at her quickly. He glared, "You're not? He's murdered people, Lisbon. Youngsters with their lives ahead of them. No wonder he always got a kick out of Red John's work. He's a right sorcerer's apprentice, that one. Tortured them too if you don't recall."

"I know," she said, pulling her jacket around her and grimacing at what she'd seen back at the house. They'd only glanced at the evidence McAllister had of the murders the forensic investigator had committed but they were just as sick and depraved as Red John's kills in their own way. He was only getting started in his crime spree, Jane had surmised quickly, and was still warming up to finding his own signature of killing. Homeless teenage boys were his most favoured from what they could ascertain in the brief time they'd had to investigate, kids too strung out on drugs or too weak to put up much of a fight and easy targets that wouldn't be lost or reported as missing.

Jane continued, his voice becoming louder as he gripped the steering wheel and pressed his foot on the accelerator, "If you ask me he should get a couple bullets put in him too, the damn ghoul, save overcrowding the prison system-"

"Jane, slow the hell down! Last thing we need is to get stopped for speeding!" she exclaimed, noticing he was doing 70 in a 50 mile zone. Her voice interrupted his tirade and made him take the pressure off the gas pedal. He took a breath as he checked the speedometer himself. His hands were shaking and it was obvious he didn't realise the speed he was doing.

"Pull over," she ordered him.

He nodded as he caught his breath before he swung the car into the next lay by. He was out of the door a second later, rushing ahead and bending over to vomit on the grass behind a wooden fence. Lisbon removed a water bottle from her bag and gave him a few seconds to recuperate before exiting the vehicle and handing it to him as he straightened up. He nodded at her briefly, closed his eyes and took a swig of the bottle, rinsing out his mouth before spitting it back out onto the grass verge beside them.

"Thank god for that," she said as he took another large gulp of water, holding this one down.

He raised an eyebrow at her as he breathed heavily.

"If you weren't affected by what you just did, never mind what you saw in that house earlier, then I'd have believed you really were a cold bastard."

He wiped his mouth with his jacket sleeve. With eyes as dark as the night they stood in, he glowered. "Don't mistake my actions just now for regret, Lisbon. Because I don't for a second regret-"

"I'm not," she interrupted. "But you just killed someone, Jane."

"I killed Carter without any of these histrionics," he argued.

She shrugged. "But you weren't in _his_ house. You hadn't just found _his_ trophies of your wife and daughter. Saw where he lived. Walked where he walked or sat where he slept. Or had a long drawn out conversation with the man. Jesus, that place gave me the creeps so I can only imagine how you felt when you stepped foot inside."

He crossed back to his car and rested his back against it. He laid his head back as he looked into the cloudless night above. Wearily, "When the hell is this ever going to be over," he said, more to himself than to her.

"When you allow it to be," she said gently, taking up a position beside him.

He chuckled. "Just like that, huh? I was supposed to feel better afterwards. I was supposed to feel...free-"

She turned to face him, "Did you really imagine you'd find peace straightaway?"

He shrugged and shook his head. "I don't know but I didn't expect to feel like this."

"Like what?"

He shook his head, bit down on his bottom lip as he stared straight ahead.

"Tell me how you feel," she pressed.

He sighed, the sound carrying over the traffic noise behind them. "Angry." He turned towards her. "I...I can't let go of the rage, Lisbon. I...Killing him...it wasn't enough. Not nearly enough." He pointed at his stomach as he desperately sought her eyes in the dark. "It's still in there...the anger...the frustration...the hate for him. Killing him wasn't enough to make that go away."

"It's not going to disappear overnight, Jane. It's barely been a couple of hours. You need to give it time. Give yourself time. And most of all you need to grieve for them...for Angela...for Charlotte. You need to allow yourself to grieve for them no matter how painful that's going to be. You turned to vengeance instead of going through that process. You found a distraction, a cause, a job, to stop yourself. Me even. And throwing yourself into another crusade against Partridge or Blake isn't going to help matters now McAllister's dead. "

He ran a hand down his face and shook his head. "What if I can't?" he breathed. "What if I can't get rid of this anger? What if it's who I am? Just rage and vengeance? What if it was always who I was supposed to be after he took them from me?"

She laced her fingers with those on his left hand and looked into his eyes. "Because I know it's not. I've known what it feels like to be with you when you let yourself find some respite from the hunt you've been on. Like winding people up at crime scenes or interviews, playing with children, the sympathy you've shown to those who have lost people, your need to get justice for others. And like when you hold me in your arms after making love...Jane, you make me feel like someone precious...someone worthwhile...someone truly loved and blessed. No man has ever come close to how you make me feel when we're together like that. You make me feel safe, and so so happy. And I've seen it in you too, felt it when we're together. When you've been happy to lie there with me as our breaths even out and your heart beats under my ear. I've seen you without your mask many times, Patrick. And that man isn't one consumed wholly by rage. A man full of anger couldn't love me like you do and a man full of anger isn't a man I could ever fall in love with in return."

Tears pricked at his eyes and he rubbed a tear that had fallen from hers from her cheek. "How the hell did I get so lucky?" he said, the vaguest hint of a smile playing on his lips. Then it failed him once again and he took her other hand in his. "But...I'm not dealing with this well, Teresa. I...I don't even know where to start. And the last thing I want to do is hurt you again."

"You won't."

He shook his head, licked his lips nervously. "But what if I do? What if I lash out as I come to terms with all of this? You're right about the grieving...I never really dealt with it. I'm stuck at anger and...I don't know how much longer I'll be stuck here. What if I take it out on you? Because you're the closest person I have, I'm bound to do that."

She arched an eyebrow. "And what makes you think I'm going to take it from you?"

He smiled and nodded at that. "Then we fight, I guess. But then we might both say things we'll come to regret-"

"If we do then we'll deal with it. What's your solution?"

He shrugged, "Maybe for me to take some time. I don't know, really."

"You want to leave again," she said, dropping his hands.

He took one hand in his again. "No! I...I just don't want to cause us more problems if...well, when...I'm bound to act irrationally in the coming weeks...months...whatever."

She rolled her eyes at him. "You take me for an idiot? You think I won't know why you might act out in the coming weeks? You think I don't understand the process you need to go through?"

"I never said that."

"As good as," she glared. "But I also know that you'll want someone beside you in the days ahead. Someone to hold you when you need to be held. Someone to give you your space but who will always be right there when you need them too, even if it's just someone to sit quietly with and watch TV. Someone to help you get through this..." Her voice dipped. "At least...it's what I wished for after my mom died, anyway."

His heart broke for her when he thought of her as that fragile twelve year old whose life was turned upside down one night. And he'd just mentioned abandoning her again like the idiot he was, even if he thought it was for her own good and their future relationship.

He took both her hands again and rubbed them. "You really want me to stay, even though it might be tough?"

She smiled faintly. "It's always been tough, you and I."

"I don't want it to be. I want it to be perfect."

She laughed softly. "Perfect's aiming a little high. How about we just work at it being less tough and work our way up from there? But we can only do that if you stay and we work through this together. And that means not shutting me out and being truthful. Even if it's just to tell me you feel pissed off some days and need space. I'll give you whatever you need, Jane. But you have to let me. And talk to me."

He nodded after a few beats as he crinkled his brow in thought. "Okay, I'll try. If you're sure then of course I'll stay. Though you might regret that decision when I'm shouting at you for leaving the milk out when I'm having an off day." He smiled softly at her.

"Then I'll shout right back at you," she smiled. "And tell you to remove the stick from your ass in the process."

His smile widened. "I suppose if we do end up arguing then there's the possibility of make up sex afterwards. Might be a good way to dissipate any lingering tension." He nodded, taking a deep breath. "All right, then. Got a mint? Because I really want to kiss you right now."

* * *

They got back to Lisbon's place a while after and Jane yawned loudly as he all but threw himself on the couch and leaned his head back on it as he closed his eyes.

"We'll move on Partridge in the morning, as agreed," Lisbon said, earning a weary grunt in reply. "You don't have to be there. I think it's better if you aren't, to be honest."

He cracked open an eye. "I have to be there. Wainwright's expecting me to question him."

"I'll cover...say that you didn't think you'd be able to control yourself and that I moved without your say so."

"He won't believe that."

"Won't matter to him if it catches Red John cleanly with minimum fuss. Why Partridge, by the way? Like you said, a lot of killers in those files. Why'd you settle on him?" She added with a slight smirk, "Because he's always irked you?"

Jane laughed softly. "Well, there is that but no. Because I believe he might even help us pull this off in case of any questions. Though I doubt they'll be any."

She frowned and nodded for him to continue. He moved forward on the couch and intertwined his fingers. "He wants attention. Why not make him his own personal hero if he knows he's going away anyway?"

She released a gasp. "You think...you think he'll confess he's Red John?"

He shrugged. "Won't matter if he does or doesn't, the evidence will bury him anyway but I think he might. Might as well be jailed for being a somebody than a nobody. It would help him earn his stripes in prison. Anyhow, I'll see how I feel in the morning, I would like to see this thing play out."

"Okay, we'll assess your part in it then. Partridge will contact you, you know. From prison if he confesses to being Red John. He'll want to talk to you."

Jane shrugged. "Let him ask. I won't be visiting the freak."

"Guess we'll see in the morning."

"Hmm," Jane said settling his head back on the couch with a tired sigh.

She'd told him that she wanted him to be truthful from now on so she couldn't hold her tongue on the question on her mind since she'd discovered the body. "Why did you shoot McAllister twice?" she asked, standing opposite him.

He leaned his head forward again and looked at her. "I had to shoot him twice. He came at me...tried to take the gun from me. Had to back off before I took the shot and the first one wasn't clean as I was moving. You must have noticed that when you saw his body."

"I did. So it was self defence, then? Is that what you're saying? Or was it intentional for it to look the way it did?"

He frowned. "Intentional?"

"For him to believe you were...distracted for some reason?"

He licked his lips and she raised an eyebrow when she noticed him wavering over being honest. He shrugged and let go of a breath. "We had to sell this as a robbery, didn't we? Shooting a man point blank in the head execution style as he sat on a couch wasn't going to cut it, Lisbon."

"Oh my god! I knew it! You stupid...!" Her breath caught in her throat at the thought of losing him and how close she'd come to it. He got off the couch quickly and advanced towards her. He wrapped his arms around her. "You wouldn't have let me do it alone if I'd told you about that part," he said softly.

She broke free. "Damn right I wouldn't! Jane, I swear to god, if we're going to be together then you have to be more truthful with me-"

He leaned in and kissed her softly, hoping it would calm her. "I know. I agreed earlier with you. One hundred percent, from this moment on. I promise."

She eyed him suspiciously then raised her eyes to the heavens as she let go of a sigh. "You damn well better. You could have gotten yourself killed, you damn idiot!"

He took her back in his arms, relieved when she allowed it. "I had it under control, I swear. I was never in any danger, Lisbon. I knew what I was doing. It was a simple distraction and he fell for it."

"Yeah, you only had a serial killer almost attack you, nothing to worry about at all," she said with a roll of her eyes.

He kissed her again and took her hand, pulling her towards the couch. As they sat down he put his arms around her and brought her closer. She was still mad but also exhausted and needed the warmth of him after their day as much as he needed hers.

He closed his eyes and rested his head back on the couch again, his fingers trailing lazy soothing patterns up and down her arms. After a minute he said, "You know what you said earlier, about helping me through this?"

"Uh-uh," she replied suspiciously.

He kissed the top of her head. "Well, right now I'd like to go to bed and hold you like this until the morning. Do you think that's something that you could help me with perhaps?"

"Hmm," she said, "We're talking all night, are we?" she asked as she hid her smile in his chest. "That's a major amount of cuddling, you realise."

"I understand it's quite an undertaking I'm asking of you," he replied, his smile evident in his voice.

She looked up at him and kissed him softly as she placed a hand on his cheek. "Don't ever put yourself in danger again or I'll kill you myself," she told him. Then she made a show of sighing loudly. "Well, I suppose I did say I'd help you in any way you need. Come on, then, boy wonder. I'm exhausted. Let's go to bed."

As they got off the couch and took the stairs to her bedroom, he said, "You know, I think it'll be a big day tomorrow, Lisbon. We might even catch Red John."

"Hmm, and you say you're not psychic."

* * *

**A/N: Always hard knowing how and when to end these things and I suppose I could have continued on with the Partridge storyline in this fic but I think it's went on long enough (too long, most probably). But I might pick up what happens on that front in a future fic now the seed is planted in this universe. Think it could be an interesting angle to explore. I'll let it germinate for a while, see if anything worthwhile grows from it.**

**Epilogue coming up next (and yes to all you fluff lovers, there will be some in it).**


	53. Epilogue

Epilogue

_**Four months later**_

Jane sipped his first tea of the day as his eyes trailed over the rolling shades of green and brown in front of him, contrasted by the bright blue of the sky above. Close to the mountain range ahead, he watched an eagle as it circled in the distance, screeching as it honed in on its prey below. A mouse or small rat, most probably, he mused. A horse pricked up its ears in the paddock in front of him, stopping its early morning graze at the sound and turning its head. A swish of the tail later it went back to feast on the grass again, disinterested. The circle of life, he supposed, as he took another long sip from the china cup in his hand. He heard the quick patter of light footsteps behind him and smiled. "Good morning, Lisbon," he said, without turning around. "Beautiful day for a wedding, isn't it?"

She came up beside him, leaning on the white wooden fence he rested his arms on and nodded. "Morning, there you are. Yeah, it is. Talking of which, I see you made your escape from the breakfast table early." She nudged him lightly with her elbow. "You should have woken me when you got up; I had to endure Grace's cousin going on about flower arrangements these past ten minutes."

He laughed softly. "Looking for me to get you out of it, were you?"

"Something like that. You were up early. You okay?"

He turned towards her and dazzled her with a reassuring smile, catching her lips with his own and slowly kissing her. "I am." He rested his hand on her lower back as he looked back at the view ahead again. "You and Cho arrived here late last night and today will be a long day, thought you'd appreciate the lie in."

She put her arm around his waist and squeezed his side gently. Shyly but also a touch seductively, "I wouldn't have minded an early wake up call, though."

He chuckled and kissed the top of her head, his fingertips at her back travelling to the edge of her T shirt and just underneath to gently graze her bare skin with his nails slowly, his smile widening as he heard her breathing quicken in return. "Weddings get you in the mood, do they? Well, that's certainly good to know," he said.

She blushed immediately. "No! Well...what I meant was that I've been working so hard this past week we've barely had time to..." She half shrugged and tilted her head to the side.

He turned towards her, a smirk on his lips. Innocently, "Time to...?"

She whacked him playfully on the arm. "Shut up, you know what I mean."

He set his cup down on the fence and put his arms around her fully then kissed her soundly. Withdrawing his lips slightly from hers, he nodded to a barn behind her. "There must be a hay loft on Grace's parents' ranch. We could take a mosey around now, if you want. I'm game if you are."

She laughed. "A literal roll in the hay, huh? How romantic."

He moved his lips right to her cheek and planted small kisses across her face until he made it to her earlobe where his mouth lingered. He whispered, "A roll anywhere with you any time will do just fine for the rest of my life, my dear."

She arched into him and ran her fingers nimbly across his biceps, feeling the increasing evidence of his desire as their bodies moulded against each other. "Well, you might just get lucky later if you behave yourself at the wedding."

He looked at her assuredly. "Like I'll need to behave myself for you to not have your wicked way with me when you see me in my Tux." He added confidently, "I'll be surprised if we're not late to the ceremony because of it, in fact."

She rolled her eyes at him and pressed her palms against his chest as she put space between them again. "Now I'm glad you didn't wake me up," she smiled. "I'm going off the notion entirely."

"Liar," he said with a grin, kissing her quickly. "Though with you in that bridesmaid dress yourself at long last I might have to use some biofeedback skills myself to last through the service."

Her cheeks coloured again. "Smooth talker." A beat passed as they took up positions side by side again, their arms around each other's waists. She asked, "How's Grace doing? I heard you helped her yesterday when you got here early."

"She's made amazing progress, Teresa. Her determination is quite astounding. She wanted to walk unaided down the aisle and I know she will. I just assisted her with practicing some last minute exercises. She wants it to be a surprise for Wayne, hopeless romantic that she is."

"He'll be choked when he sees that. Hell, we all will be. I'm so proud of what she's accomplished."

"Me too."

For a few moments they watched the landscape together in companionable silence. Then Jane picked up his cup again and asked with more sombreness, "So, how did it go last night? Barely got two words out of you before you fell asleep."

"Sorry, long day. We caught three more. We're getting there at last. Just the stragglers of Blake left at this stage. And they'll be in Mexico or Canada by now if they have any sense."

"Everyone okay?" he asked, his fingers instinctively squeezing her side with a tad more pressure. Though if there'd been any trouble apprehending Blake Association members he'd have heard about it by now.

"Yeah, no problems, thank god," she nodded quietly.

When Lisbon had joined the team to track down and arrest members on the now infamous list in the joint FBI-CBI task force that had been established following Partridge's arrest, the first few weeks had been bloody and terrifying. Several members of the team had been targeted or attacked and two car bombs had taken out four CBI agents they had both personally known, the darkest day they would face in the investigation. After, Jane had wanted them to leave law enforcement altogether and move somewhere new as panic set in for their safety. She had steadfastly refused to go, citing the work was too important to hand over to someone less qualified or invested, and even more so after the murders of her trusted colleagues. It had been a strained time for their relationship, Jane battling his demons internally over his future without Red John and dealing with his grief, along with fearing for Lisbon's life at every turn. They'd had more than a few arguments and shouting matches in the first month. She'd felt the pressure at work as long days and brutal interrogations with people she once considered good people wore her down. Jane had helped with some of them too but only when she or other agents came across someone they couldn't break. Police work had currently lost much of its appeal and Lisbon was aware he only became interested in the takedown to have it dealt with and out of their lives sooner rather than later.

But through it all they'd stayed together, the thought of breaking up never a consideration for either one of them. And it wasn't all bad, even in the early days. Jane would run her bubble baths and rub her feet after trying days, his reading of her body language as soon as she'd entered the door a godsend to her. She didn't have to suggest getting takeout or watching mindless television or making desperate and hurried love to each other. He knew exactly what she wanted and needed by his first look at her as she'd crossed the doorway.

She became better at reading him too, often surprising him with suggestions for picnic lunches and time away from the office when she noticed him begin to withdraw from her and the darkness threaten to overwhelm him. She'd found he opened up to her more when they were strolling down a beach or lying on a blanket in the sun, the sounds and sights of nature triggers for his ability to relate his innermost thoughts to her.

And, sometimes, they both needed the rows too. They were instant, if temporary, stress relievers and strangely cathartic in their own way. Especially when followed by a rigorous bout of make up sex. They didn't solve their issues but they presented them more openly and, after cooling off periods, they began to address such matters than shy away from them.

He never officially moved in but had only spent one night away from her since McAllister's death. That had been to paint the wall in his house in Malibu and put the property up for sale. He'd been gone for a whole day and he'd come back to her and clung onto her like the first night after he'd killed Red John. He'd thanked her for not asking questions and she'd stroked his hair until he'd fallen asleep next to her just like she'd done that night.

The second and third months had seen an improvement between them as arguments lessened and they began to laugh more with each other again as tensions eased, allowing themselves more than the occasional date night where work talk was off the table (not always a successful venture). Jane visited the graves of his wife and child, burying the mirror compact, his ring and Charlotte's ribbon stowed in it, between their graves. It was a largely symbolic gesture he never imagined would grant him any peace but he'd come back to Lisbon afterwards, looking visibly lighter from doing it and heralding it a breakthrough of sorts. Though he still had many dark days and moments thereafter, he also began to allow himself to think about his and Lisbon's future after Blake. The task force became less of a defensive machine and more of an offensive one as Blake members dwindled in numbers and begged more for plea deals than issue further threats against those in charge. The tide had turned, and it added to Jane's more optimistic outlook.

The last month had been filled with wedding talk once again as Rigsby and Van Pelt issued invitations to their re-planned nuptials. The open air ceremony was due to be held at her parents' ranch where she'd been recuperating physically with Rigsby at their side. They had tended their resignations to the CBI and there was talk of them opening up a detective agency in San Francisco after their long awaited honeymoon in Europe.

"Penny for them?" Jane asked her softly as the silence lengthened and he noticed the line between her eyes as he placed the now empty cup on the ground between them.

She shrugged. "It's been a tough few months for everyone, hasn't it? Just thinking about it, that's all."

He laughed with the same wistfulness he'd heard in her tone, his thoughts matching hers. "That it has. Yeah, me too."

He turned towards her and kissed her gently. "Thank you," he said with absolute sincerity as he cupped his hand to her cheek, capturing her lips again. "I know I've been a pain in the ass at times."

She arched an eyebrow and grinned. "You've always been a pain in the ass from the day I met you."

He grinned and shook his head. "I'm trying to be serious here, you know." He sighed happily at her. "Even more of a pain in the ass than usual, then. I know...I know things haven't been easy. And that I haven't helped matters with my paranoia."

She kissed him. "I'm still here. _We're_ still here. And your paranoia was understandable and well founded. I think, if anything, we're stronger after everything we've gone through lately. It's easy being in love when everything's going well. It's enduring the tough times that's the test." She smiled. "My mother used to tell me that."

He grinned. "Wise woman just like her daughter."

She shrugged. "And I haven't always made things easy for you either. I was stubborn and pigheaded plenty of times too."

He nodded. "That you were," he said with a twinkle in his eyes. He tilted his head. "You know, you're absolutely right. All those rows were your fault."

She dug him in the ribs and he caught her waist straight after as he laughed, his teeth gleaming in the sunshine as he continued to chuckle. She grinned, relishing how relaxed he was on this glorious day and brought her hands up to circle his neck. "Though the past month has been much better. And Blake is pretty much done."

"Then it leads to the question...what next?"

She frowned as she played absently with the hair at the nape of his neck. "I thought we'd decided to go to D.C. It's a change of scene and a fantastic opportunity with the FBI. And Wainwright wants us there with him. Better the devil you know and all that. He's come on leaps and bounds since Blake was exposed."

Jane nodded thoughtfully. "He had to grow up quickly when Bertram was arrested. I admit, I've grown quite fond of him."

"Only because you like to poke fun at his attempts at psychoanalysing you."

He smiled. "It is enjoyable watching him try to figure me out and put me in a box. Then do something unexpected where he has to move me to another one."

"You just love messing with people, guess that'll never change, huh?"

He shrugged. "You wouldn't want it to. I see you trying to hide a smile when I wind him up."

She laughed. "Guilty as charged. So...D.C. then?"

"Hmm," he said, surveying the scenery around them again. "You think they'd have places like this there?"

She drew her head back. "You want to buy a ranch now?" She tapped his chest pocket. "What? The money from your house sale burning a hole in your wallet?"

He shrugged. "Not my money, our money now. And I don't really know what kind of place just yet. But I do want us to plant some roots. Somewhere we can settle for a while."

"We've been okay at my place, haven't we?"

"Yes but it's exactly that – your place. I want somewhere for us, Teresa. And somewhere with a little land around it would be nice. More tranquil, you know."

"I guess. Sounds nice when you put it like that."

He kissed her quickly. "It will be."

Apprehensively, "So...you've decided to take the job in D.C.? Wainwright told me you were still deciding when he asked you last."

"If it's where you want to be then I will. Maybe not straightaway, might take some time and find us somewhere to live first. I'm not sure if I'm ready to go back to crime fighting full time just yet."

"Up to you, take whatever time you need, I get it." Then she frowned. "Why do you keep questioning D.C. all of a sudden?"

Jane arched an eyebrow. "You're not going to mention the other job offer you've received?"

She gaped at him and blushed. "Hightower told you about it?"

He laughed. "Lisbon, you really think you can keep something like that from me? Cho told me she was in town and that you two went for lunch the other day when I called to see what you wanted for dinner. And you did not mention the fact you met her when you got home. And you were distracted all evening, nibbling on that beautiful bottom lip of yours. Ergo, either you're having an affair with her-" His eyes lit up devilishly as he grinned, "-or she's offered you a job since she's coming back to head up the CBI when Wainwright leaves for the bright lights of the FBI."

She pouted at him. "Why didn't you tell me you knew about it?"

"Why didn't you tell me about it in the first place?" he smiled. "This truth arrangement goes both ways you know, my dear," he teased.

Her pout remained but it was edged with some sheepishness. "Fair enough. She offered me - well us, really - jobs." A smile broke out on her lips. "She said she figured we came as a package deal and that she was willing to put up with your foolishness without it impacting my career this time. I told her you weren't sure what your plans were in relation to staying on after Blake but she said that she wanted me with her anyway."

Jane matched her smile, pleased that Hightower saw the value his girlfriend could offer all on her own. As much as Wainwright respected Lisbon, Jane knew he was the main reason the younger man had wanted them to follow him to the FBI. "Did she mention why she decided on the CBI and not the FBI? From what I heard she could write her own ticket. Both agencies want - well, need - people they can trust at her level. And no one's more trustworthy than Madeleine Hightower currently."

Lisbon nodded in agreement. Now Red John and his organisation were no longer a threat to her or her family's life, Hightower had been able to leave protective custody and resume her stalled career. "She said..." Lisbon's smile brightened and something close to pride came over her voice, "...she said that she never got to finish the task she'd set herself years ago and that was her first priority. To make the CBI the premier law environment agency in California. She said she wanted to accomplish that before she even thought about a future with the FBI."

Jane smiled and shook his head. "Quite an undertaking to raise the CBI to where it was a few months back, never mind better it. It's been largely decimated since Blake."

Lisbon responded excitedly, "But it's still open, Jane. A couple of months ago I never thought our doors still would be by now. Everyone thought it would close, be swallowed up by the Feds, forgotten and blamed for Blake." She became more animated. "But it's still here, despite everything these past few months; it's still here against all the odds."

His face lit up at her almost childish excitement, adoring the passionate side to her nature. He dampened down his enjoyment. "So, then why not mention the job offer to me?"

She shrugged, averted her eyes to the horse cantering near them. "FBI's the better choice for my career, for one. More high profile cases, more money..." She troubled her bottom lip again.

"And you think us staying in California would be detrimental to me," he said, cutting to the crux of the matter.

She whipped her head back around to him. She licked her lips. "We agreed starting somewhere new would be better."

He tilted his head from side to side as he considered. "We did. But that was also before I knew...before I saw how much you want to take Hightower up on her offer. Before there was an option you'd obviously prefer."

She shook her head. "FBI is the more logical choice."

He rolled his eyes. "But not the one you want. At least not presently. And the only reason I can ascertain why you didn't accept her offer straightaway was because you're worried about me."

She puffed out a breath. "Okay. You're right. I don't care about the money or have cases handed to me because the victims have political connections in D.C. But yes, I am worried about you. California holds a lot of bad memories for you, Jane."

"We're really going to have to work on that martyr complex of yours now I'm handling things a little better my end," he smirked. He let go of a breath, turned his tone more serious. "I have a memory palace, Teresa. Whether we stay in California or not they'll still be right in here." He touched his forehead for emphasis. "The trick I'm learning slowly is not to allow the bad memories overwhelm the good ones." He kissed her lightly and he circled her face with his eyes. Softly, "And every day, whether I'm in California or not, while I'm with you the good ones invariably win out. Not only that but increase their numbers. So, it really doesn't matter to me where I am, Teresa, as long as I'm there with you."

Touched by his words she let go of a breath as her eyes misted over. "You'd really be okay staying? It'd probably be pretty boring at first. Madeleine has a management team to build and wants me to form part of that. Then there's recruiting new agents, most of the good ones still left are migrating to the FBI. People like Cho. Not that I blame them, it's a step up and Cho's getting a promotion off the back of it. But it'll be like it's starting all over again and the public have little confidence left in us. We'll invariably get the grunt work and the overflow from Sac PD until we can rebuild our reputation."

Jane shrugged. "Sounds a whole lot more interesting and worthwhile than having work handed to you because the people involved have money or influence. And training rookies sounds like a lot of fun." He smirked. "And who doesn't love an underdog story? And...it seems like the work would be less dangerous initially than what might come our way by jumping ship to the FBI." His eyes twinkled with a mixture of amusement and seductiveness. "And maybe more time for...some extracurricular activities too." He added, "And selfishly the last two are clinchers for me."

"You're being honest with me, really? Because I know I've asked a lot of you lately and we had pretty much settled on D.C.-"

Her words were cut off by a searing kiss. "It's what you want and I want it too. Decision made. Okay, glad we got that settled. Tell me though...do you think...do you think you'll have time for a vacation first before you start?"

She smiled and pulled him closer. "I was just about to mention that she doesn't officially take over for another month when Wainwright leaves. And I have about a gazillion vacation days to take. And I don't mind admitting I'm pretty burnt out after the past few months. Could use a break. Why? What have you got in mind?"

"A month, eh?" He grinned widely. "How about a trip to Europe of our own? We could even meet and spend a few days with the newlyweds as we take in the sights it has to offer."

"Europe? Really?" Excitement buzzed through her. "You sure we can afford it? I mean...if we're looking at properties in California now it could be expensive-"

"So one of our first stops will be Monte Carlo. I'm pretty sure we could pay for the whole trip after a night there in a casino."

Her grin broadened. "Okay. Let's do it."

"Really? Excellent." His smile threatened to rival the sun's brightness.

They sealed their decision with a long kiss. She drew back, both of them smiling through and after the kiss. "Now I need your help with another matter," she said.

"Oh?"

"Rigsby's freaking out. Pre wedding jitters, I think."

Jane laughed. "Perfectly normal. And what am I supposed to do about it?"

"Can't you...i don't know...teach him some breathing exercises or something?"

"You're tempting fate after telling me to behave myself, you understand. The temptation to have him squawking like a chicken when he's asked to recite his vows is incredibly hard to resist, Lisbon."

She glowered at him. "Well, you could do that. Of course, if you do then you realise you'll be bunking with Cho in his single bed tonight."

"Hmm. Then it seems you leave me no choice but to offer my assistance, woman."

She laughed and nodded towards the house. "Come on, then."

"I'll be right behind you," he replied as he leaned his elbows on the post behind as he faced the house. "Just going to drink in a little more of this day first."

"Suit yourself." She kissed him briefly. "Think I'll go try on my dress." As she walked away from him with a more pronounced wiggle of her hips she glanced over her shoulder and shot him a seductive wink before carrying on.

He grinned and laughed softly as he stepped quickly to follow her. His right hand found the diamond ring in his vest pocket and rolled it in his fingers. He'd been looking for the perfect moment to ask her to be his wife for a few weeks now. He'd thought the view they'd just been admiring might be a good choice after the wedding ceremony.

But maybe Paris, as they walked hand in hand along the banks of the Seine, sounded like an even more excellent plan...

\- THE END -

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**A/N: A massive t****hank you to all of you for your amazing support for this fic and the fact that some of you have been following it for over a year now since it began. I don't know where the time has gone but I'm incredibly grateful you're still here whether you've been with it from the start or caught up with it later on. I'm truly mesmerized and flattered by your kind words of support, beautiful and touching reviews, and words of encouragement to keep going when my interest has flagged.**

**Like Lisbon and Jane at the end of this one I'm feeling a little burnt out myself finally finishing this marathon of a story (unfortunately no Paris trip for me, though!) so I'm going to take a break from updating my other stories (Broken and Reconnect (&amp; Destinies, eventually)) for a few weeks or so. Need some time out but I hope to be back in a while. Thank you again.**


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